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Also be mindful if you do any unity candle stuff, I went to a 5pm wedding in early August in Austin a few years back and the candle was already melting and sagging before they got around to actually lighting it (in addition to the aforementioned problems of sweat stains and feeling miserable, this was just the detail that amused me the most) e: though I guess if it stays in the 80's-90's it'll be fine coronatae fucked around with this message at 02:52 on May 1, 2017 |
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May 1, 2017 02:50
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I don't get anxiety often, but when I do, it's when I think about wedding stuff. We're moving along nicely in our planning, we've decided to do our wedding in belize. We've picked the place we're going to stay at for the ceremony, it's on Ambergris Caye (island), and we're ironing out the details on that. We're also trying to nail down a place that we're going to stay at for 3-5 days before going to the island to do vacation stuff on the mainland, a bunch of our guests will be going to this as well. I kind of wish I could do courthouse and then go to Europe for 4-6 weeks, it would probably cost half as much. I floated that idea a few weeks ago and I'm fairly certain if my fiancee's eyes were daggers I'd have a few hundred stab wounds right now.
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May 1, 2017 19:04
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What did you/your bride do about shoes? Our wedding is outdoors so I don't want heels that will sink into the ground or get stuck in a wooden deck, and I also get blisters with the slightest irritation, so adorable bride-ly pumps are out of the question. I have a pair of thick heeled shoes that don't match my dress at all but are sort of comfortable and give me a few inches in height. How obvious are shoes in the big picture, especially with a long dress? Also, for the reception, I'd like to change to flats if I need to. If the dress gets fitted to the tall shoes, will it look dumb or be clumsy if I suddenly shrink a few inches? 66 days to go, it doesn't feel real yet. My coworkers threw me a bridal shower last week and the details are ironed out, but it still feels so far in the future. It doesn't help that it's an outdoor July wedding and it's currently snowing.
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May 1, 2017 20:59
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How do you feel about wedges?
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May 1, 2017 21:03
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Koivunen posted:What did you/your bride do about shoes? Our wedding is outdoors so I don't want heels that will sink into the ground or get stuck in a wooden deck, and I also get blisters with the slightest irritation, so adorable bride-ly pumps are out of the question. I have a pair of thick heeled shoes that don't match my dress at all but are sort of comfortable and give me a few inches in height. How obvious are shoes in the big picture, especially with a long dress?
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May 1, 2017 21:24
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Koivunen posted:What did you/your bride do about shoes? Our wedding is outdoors so I don't want heels that will sink into the ground or get stuck in a wooden deck, and I also get blisters with the slightest irritation, so adorable bride-ly pumps are out of the question. I have a pair of thick heeled shoes that don't match my dress at all but are sort of comfortable and give me a few inches in height. How obvious are shoes in the big picture, especially with a long dress? Check out Mohops (https://www.mohop.com/Shop/) They're sandals/wedges of varying heights that have interchangeable ribbons and can be tied on a bunch of different ways. They're my go-to shoes for weddings in general because they match everything, and are especially good for outdoors because there's no heel to sink into the ground. Plus they're quite comfortable!
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May 1, 2017 23:55
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I've noticed a good bunch of weddings actually springing for a little basket of cheap flip flops they have by the dancefloor for precisely this purpose. You've been rocking heals all day long and especially when it's time to dance, you don't want to torture your feet further. Obviously this costs money, but it's an amenity they wanted for their clients and these weren't designer sandals, either. Cheap stuff for the party in pursuit of comfort. As far as length goes - you'll be bustling your dress, yes? That should help tackle any length concerns once you are done with the ceremony/photos part of the day and can ease back into some comfort?
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May 2, 2017 06:02
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I am sorry for asking a question that I am sure has been asked every page of this thread, but: Is Blue Nile a good place to buy an engagement ring? As far as price::quality and all that?
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May 2, 2017 16:36
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I tried on my first wedding dress today and now I have even less ideas about what style I actually want.
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May 2, 2017 16:55
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Fo what it's worth re: shoechat, I am wearing thick-heeled boots and probably changing into light-up gold holographic sneakers.
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May 2, 2017 17:33
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Hey all! So i'm getting married in a week and we are struggling with choosing music. We are considering the usual poppy string versions of classic songs and all that but we honestly don't know what to think about one of our top choices. We aren't the type of nerds to play a zelda medley or anything but we do love this song from Battlestar Galactica: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8zsE5zdlsQ Would this be nuts for her to walk down the isle to? Just the first minute and thirty or so.
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May 13, 2017 03:47
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meanolmrcloud posted:Would this be nuts for her to walk down the isle to? Just the first minute and thirty or so. It wouldn't be nuts, but try to listen to how it sounds without the background context for people who haven't heard the music before. It has kind of an "impending doom" feel and the chords suggest tension. It would be fine as the song that plays when you exit after the ceremony, but it seems a little too apocalyptic for walking down the aisle.
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May 13, 2017 06:03
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oh god i'm getting married in twelve days and my sister in law is going to be coming into town six days early WE AREN'T DIYING ANYTHING I DO NOT KNOW WHY SHE IS DOING THIS
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May 17, 2017 00:09
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My dress came in a couple weeks ago. I went to try it on and it is WAY too small. I could barely get it past my hips and there is not enough fabric to let it out. They had measured me as a size 4, but the actual dress measures like a size 0. So, with less than two months to go, they will be calling around to find the same dress in a size 8. If they can find one, it would arrive the last week of June, leaving all of ONE WEEK to get the cap sleeves made and have it tailored. This whole wedding planning process has been pretty stress-free until now. All the decorations are DIY and done and they turned out super cool. I have some talented friends who are are doing the cake, the flowers, the officiating, and the photography, and I trust all that will turn out great. There's not a whole lot left to do, so I'm stressing bad about the dress. I just don't get what happened, I weigh exactly the same as I did in December, the dress says it's a 4 but the measurements don't match up. I feel super fat too even though I know nothing has changed. Anyway my question is, since the re-sized dress will technically be a floor model and the timeline is cut so short by no fault of my own, should I be asking for some kind of a discount? The dress is about $900 and so far I've paid half.
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May 17, 2017 07:56
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Since it sounds like a pretty epic gently caress up on their end, yeah, I would ask for compensation.
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May 17, 2017 12:23
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meanolmrcloud posted:Hey all! So i'm getting married in a week and we are struggling with choosing music. We are considering the usual poppy string versions of classic songs and all that but we honestly don't know what to think about one of our top choices. We aren't the type of nerds to play a zelda medley or anything but we do love this song from Battlestar Galactica: Would Passacaglia be a better option? We did our whole dinner playlist from BSG soundtrack, but spent a lot of time narrowing it down to the non-"impending doom" songs, so I have lots of other suggestions if you'd like. Also I personally like this option, but I'm definitely biased 
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May 17, 2017 22:31
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Koivunen posted:My dress came in a couple weeks ago. I went to try it on and it is WAY too small. I could barely get it past my hips and there is not enough fabric to let it out. They had measured me as a size 4, but the actual dress measures like a size 0. So, with less than two months to go, they will be calling around to find the same dress in a size 8. If they can find one, it would arrive the last week of June, leaving all of ONE WEEK to get the cap sleeves made and have it tailored. I would raise a poo poo-fit, they clearly hosed it up, get some money back or something.
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May 17, 2017 22:34
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Sounds like some wires got crossed between the measurements for a standard dress size and a bridal dress size. Either way yes they need to pay for at least part of it. Did you sign any contracts when you made the deposit?
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May 17, 2017 22:41
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SHOAH NUFF posted:Is Blue Nile a good place to buy an engagement ring? As far as price::quality and all that? It's a fine retailer. Just be sure that you're really happy with the ring they provide. Their diamonds are drop shipped from third party suppliers so no one actually looks to make sure it's nice. Their return rate hovers around 10%.
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May 18, 2017 07:44
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JohnnyRnR posted:It's a fine retailer. Just be sure that you're really happy with the ring they provide. Their diamonds are drop shipped from third party suppliers so no one actually looks to make sure it's nice. Their return rate hovers around 10%. I got my wife's engagement ring from there, and both of our wedding bands (hers is diamond and sapphire to match her engagement ring). I've also ordered other jewelry from them, and I've never had a problem. The main diamond in the engagement ring looks friggin' gorgeous
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May 18, 2017 16:35
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I will see what I can do about the dress and payment when the time comes. Ugh. More questions. We are having our ceremony at a park at 1pm. The reception site is about a ten minute drive, and we are trying to come up with things to do in the meanwhile between the ceremony and dinner. The reception site is expecting people to arrive at 2pm, and the bar will be open at that time. If the weather is nice, people could hang out at the park for a while after, and there will be some yard games set up at the reception site. There's also an alpine slide on-site that we are trying to get vouchers for. I've read some sample timelines online where the first dance and whatnot are done at the beginning of the reception, and then dinner is served later. We are also having a wine toast. Would it make sense to do speeches/first dance/wine toast first, and then dinner, just to kill some time so we're not eating at like 4pm? Also, would it be cheesy to include "things to do" on the program we hand out?
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May 23, 2017 07:24
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Ceremony should take about 30 minutes total, usually. By time the recessional has happened and people are gathered up and moving it may well be time to head to the reception to make a 2pm arrival. As for first dance after your grand entrance? I would want to consider your food situation as well as maybe how your guests are doing? I advise my clients to get to dining sooner rather than later. This is on account of chefs prepping food (especially things like beef prepared to temperature) where if you plan too much prior to serving entrees you risk the food itself. Especially because people are usually traveling to weddings, I think it's best to get everyone fed and relaxed prior to other events for the day. People will be more receptive to speeches and everything else if they have had a few drinks and some food. I would advise grand entrance into dinner, a welcome toast and/or grace, and then the rest of toasts and events post meal. How long do you have the reception space for? I like to organize my receptions with "peaks and valleys" in terms of energy. Coming from the ceremony to the recessional to the cocktail hour then into the grand entrance to dinner...and so forth. I want shifts in energy to keep people engaged. I wouldn't want to front-load too many items before dinner because it is tougher to ramp back up from that. Also: Congrats! Let me know if you have any other questions or ideas you want to incorporate. I do lots of these things.
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May 24, 2017 08:25
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So after talking the talk for a while, on Saturday my fiancé and I booked to go to Greece for a fortnight exactly a year from now to get married, cancelling our expensive venue in the Lake District (UK goon here). It's far cheaper and I'm excited even though we have now brought the wedding forward  Definitely not enforcing formal dress on people for a Greek beach wedding in likely scorching weather, I wouldn't be able to take that myself. Do our rings have to match? I'm happy with a cheap one myself, don't see the point of getting something pricey as I'll only damage it.
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May 25, 2017 16:20
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Nah, there's no rule saying wedding bands have to match. My own is white gold and my husband's is tungsten carbide (which you might also like if you're looking for something cheaper). You do you, man.
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May 31, 2017 01:14
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Anyone have a good suggestion for photo booth set up using an ipad air or something? Rentals all seems to be hundreds of dollars and I feel like there is an app and a stand that will do just fine.
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Jun 2, 2017 21:09
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Nephzinho posted:Anyone have a good suggestion for photo booth set up using an ipad air or something? Rentals all seems to be hundreds of dollars and I feel like there is an app and a stand that will do just fine. We are going analogue for this, buying 4 used INSTAX cameras and a bunch of instant film. Total cost maybe $250.
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Jun 2, 2017 22:10
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Jolarix posted:We are going analogue for this, buying 4 used INSTAX cameras and a bunch of instant film. Total cost maybe $250. My SO is now your biggest fan. Stealing this.
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Jun 3, 2017 15:44
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I was thinking more going the Simple Booth or some other ipad front facing camera app and setting up a designated area, while having disposable cameras littered around as well.
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Jun 5, 2017 20:40
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19 o'clock posted:Ceremony should take about 30 minutes total, usually. By time the recessional has happened and people are gathered up and moving it may well be time to head to the reception to make a 2pm arrival. This was really helpful, thanks! We will think of something to do for an entrance. We will be having a wine toast, and since our wedding party is small and we will only have 60-70 guests, maybe we could do a couple speeches during the wine toast? I'm honestly not really sure what the difference is. We have to be cleared out of the space by midnight, so we have it for ten hours total.
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Jun 6, 2017 04:12
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Koivunen posted:This was really helpful, thanks! We will think of something to do for an entrance. We will be having a wine toast, and since our wedding party is small and we will only have 60-70 guests, maybe we could do a couple speeches during the wine toast? I'm honestly not really sure what the difference is. Speaking as the individual in charge of keeping things moving? So long as the chef is happy that food isn't dying while toasts are taking place, then you should be good. As mentioned above, I like to keep mixing things up to keep people comfortable and entertained throughout the evening. I just got into my rhythm after a few years of this and I will attest that different professionals do these things differently. Have fun! If you need music recommendations, hit me up. I do ceremony music as well as DJ and MC weddings, so that's really my area of expertise.
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Jun 7, 2017 08:05
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Hey all, the wedding went amazing and everyone said the music was lovely. I couldn't find a thread in BFC for this, so I might as well ask here. Are there any tips for combining finances?
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Jun 10, 2017 15:45
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My recommendation is don't. Finances are probably one of the biggest pain points in relationships and combining them is just setting that up to be trouble later on. My wife and I keep completely separate accounts and spend our money however we want. We each take our own share of monthly bills and shopping, and she just pays me half of the mortgage via Venmo.
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Jun 10, 2017 17:46
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BFC loves new threads, even if they're for single issue things like this. I'd suggest asking there.
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Jun 10, 2017 17:47
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couldcareless posted:My recommendation is don't. Finances are probably one of the biggest pain points in relationships and combining them is just setting that up to be trouble later on. My wife and I keep completely separate accounts and spend our money however we want. We each take our own share of monthly bills and shopping, and she just pays me half of the mortgage via Venmo. Your recommendation is "this is what we did and it worked for us". It is definitely not a blanket statement to make unless you know the person you're responding to pretty well, which I assume you don't. I'm going to recommend going into the newbie finance thread in BFC, or create a new one if you really want, but yeah go to BFC and ask there. This debate comes up every now and then, and the result is usually "some people keep them separate, most people combine, the main reason to keep separate is if one side is significantly more wealthy going in, and then you should probably just sign a prenup". Very big key is that you must be very open about finances, but that's because hiding stuff about finances is a super bad idea.
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Jun 10, 2017 18:47
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silvergoose posted:Your recommendation is "this is what we did and it worked for us". It is definitely not a blanket statement to make unless you know the person you're responding to pretty well, which I assume you don't. Which is why I prefaced it with "this is my recommendation" No need to get pissy about it.
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Jun 10, 2017 19:28
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couldcareless posted:My recommendation is don't. Finances are probably one of the biggest pain points in relationships and combining them is just setting that up to be trouble later on. My wife and I keep completely separate accounts and spend our money however we want. We each take our own share of monthly bills and shopping, and she just pays me half of the mortgage via Venmo. Alternatively, combine your finances and just give each other a "spending money" amount. The fact that finances are a major sticking point in marriages seems to me to be evidence for increased collaboration, not less. Like, what about large expenses like cars, appliances, major home repairs, etc? You don't plan your household income around all that? I guess that could work if you have a fair amount of income and it's just always there. But my wife and I have to plan pretty tightly to be financially responsible and meet all our goals. Basically, for the original poster, sit down and come up with a list of all major expenses, and look at your incomes, and see where you stand. A lot of people keep separate checking accounts for discretionary spending, while having a central savings/checking for combined expenses and long term savings.
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Jun 10, 2017 19:31
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LogisticEarth posted:Alternatively, combine your finances and just give each other a "spending money" amount. The fact that finances are a major sticking point in marriages seems to me to be evidence for increased collaboration, not less. My fiancee and I are pretty much setting up a joint checking account that all money goes into and all bills come out of, with personal checking accounts with "allowances" that go into luxury spending like video games or cocktails. Complete independence is weird to me, my brother and his wife have been together for 15 years and are completely isolated from eachother and it comes through in odd ways when it comes to major purchases (or debts).
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Jun 10, 2017 19:38
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My fiancé and I opened a joint checking and savings account when we first moved in with each other five years ago. I make quite a bit more than he does, so we divide our pay checks by percent. 40% goes into joint checking to cover mortgage, bills, groceries, etc. 10% goes into joint savings which is our emergency fund and doesn't get touched. The other 50% goes into our individual accounts and we can spend it as we please. It's fair because even though we earn different wages, we are contributing equally. This method has worked well and we don't plan on changing anything once we are married. We have no problems doing things this way, so why change anything?
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Jun 10, 2017 22:12
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Koivunen posted:My fiancé and I opened a joint checking and savings account when we first moved in with each other five years ago. I make quite a bit more than he does, so we divide our pay checks by percent. 40% goes into joint checking to cover mortgage, bills, groceries, etc. 10% goes into joint savings which is our emergency fund and doesn't get touched. The other 50% goes into our individual accounts and we can spend it as we please. Yeah this is how our plan started. Basically, whatever works for you. Just beware situations where separation creates really unoptimal use of resources (see: my brother having like $30k in his checking account earning 0.012% interest while his wife is carrying student loans at 6-8%).
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Jun 10, 2017 22:28
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It kinda strikes me as weird that married couples with uneven incomes keep substantialy different "discretionary" accounts. Like, why not just split it roughly evenly if you're married?
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Jun 11, 2017 02:21
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