|
 poo poo new page. Fine. Back in Livejournal days I met this girl who wanted to meet up for a fling. at a hotel. first date. It was weird and awkward and horrible and she wanted to call me daddy and to be slapped and then choked. I had to leave because ha ha there is this emergency thing that came up. then i ghosted so hard it was like a 2nd job she looked me up like 4-5 years later on facebook to thank me and tell me what an amazing life experience it was for her. people are loving weird. TehRedWheelbarrow fucked around with this message at 22:18 on May 2, 2017 |
#
?
May 2, 2017 22:14
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 10, 2024 02:12 |
|
|
what the hell is livejournal, grandpa
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2017 22:42
|
|
|
Putty posted:what the hell is livejournal, grandpa it was that thing that came after love@aol but before friendster sonny 
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2017 22:47
|
|
|
*bursts into thread, breathless* 9/11, did anybody say 9/11 yet?
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2017 23:07
|
|
|
Went on a date woth 72 girls at once and not a single one put out.
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2017 23:23
|
|
|
I got a date to a rock festival and the girl brought like three dude friends and they tried to put me up to crowd surf but nobody caught me. We didn't click so I had a couple rolling rocks and left.
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2017 23:36
|
|
|
Barudak posted:Went on a date woth 72 girls at once and not a single one put out. 
|
|
#
?
May 2, 2017 23:51
|
|
|
Robot Randy posted:one time this weird rear end chick asked me to go camping with her. i already had a bit of a relationship with her where she would just give me random poo poo she picked up from garage sales or donation bins. idk some of it was alright but most of it was just borderline garbage and in a few cases, viscera. anyways the day went mostly fine since we had to set up the camp site and we were mostly occupied with our own tasks. later in the night we were sitting around the fire, just making small talk, and that was alright enough. rain started to fall and we retired to our tent. i guess at some point she had slipped something in her drink without me noticing, but as soon as i was settled in and drifting off to sleep the chick just starts MASHING on my groin area. honestly, if i could feel anything down there i bet i wouldve been paralyzed from the pain of the impromptu CBT sesh. fight or flight response kicked in and i somehow got out of the tent along with my sleeping bag, but because of my dead gay legs i had to crawl 45ft to my truck, through a torrent of rain and runoff from the campsites in the area. i couldnt get up to open my door so i ended up sleeping under my truck in wet, muddy clothes in a slightly less dirty and wet sleeping bag, hoping the increasing flow of water would carry me to the sweet release of death. wait, are you pretending to be Pick's wheelchair-bound "friend"?
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 00:41
|
|
|
yes
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 00:51
|
|
|
Putty posted:what the hell is livejournal, grandpa It was pretty much tumblr meets /r/gonewild for the early '00s
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 00:57
|
|
|
Psycho Society posted:Girls don't know what dates are anymore. Just ask if they want to watch the first 10 minutes of a movie on your laptop by laptop, do you mean dick?
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 02:17
|
|
|
As a science project I was locked in an underground vault for 20 years with 999 women and no other dudes, and I eventually died from holding in my farts.
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 03:26
|
|
|
Machai posted:wait, are you pretending to be Pick's wheelchair-bound "friend"? I wish there was some way to read the whole thing, on these forums.
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 03:31
|
|
|
Went on a date with a girl to a restaurant. She took off her coat and was wearing a sleeveless top. Her big flabby upper arm had a big band-aid on it. When we were eating the band-aid started to move. Actually, it was more like something underneath it started to pulsate. It reminded me of that scene in Star Trek when Capt. Kirk and Dr. Spock are shooting a Federation admiral guy in a chair who had alien insects inside him.
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 04:36
|
|
|
Met a girl on Tinder and we had pretty good chemistry but when she showed up for a date she was just John Cena in a wig.
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 05:11
|
|
|
Putty posted:Met a girl on Tinder and we had pretty good chemistry but when she showed up for a date she was just John Cena in a wig. I'm guessing this was a dealbreaker, but I'm struggling to understand...why?
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 05:15
|
|
|
Putty posted:Met a girl on Tinder and we had pretty good chemistry but when she showed up for a date she was just John Cena in a wig. https://youtu.be/oHC1230OpOg
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 05:30
|
|
|
Nic Cage dick cage posted:Went on a date with a girl to a restaurant. She took off her coat and was wearing a sleeveless top. Her big flabby upper arm had a big band-aid on it. When we were eating the band-aid started to move. Actually, it was more like something underneath it started to pulsate. It reminded me of that scene in Star Trek when Capt. Kirk and Dr. Spock are shooting a Federation admiral guy in a chair who had alien insects inside him. Sounds like she was receiving dialysis on a regular basis. The thing under her arm was a fistula, and you can really feel it pulse.
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 07:30
|
|
|
Went on a date with a 32 year old man that was obsessed with pokemon. I like pokemon too, so whatever, I thought we would have a few friendly battles. Well he hit me with his EV trained Azumarill and said, "I like this one because it looks like it's raping you." Urgh I loving cringe thinking about the idiot situations I put myself in as a lonely single lady 
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 07:59
|
|
|
Communist Q posted:Sounds like she was receiving dialysis on a regular basis. The thing under her arm was a fistula, and you can really feel it pulse. That's a good answer to something that has puzzled me for years. Thanks.  But I still prefer the Star Trek/alien infestation explanation.
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 08:01
|
|
|
remigious posted:Well he hit me with his EV trained Azumarill and said, "I like this one because it looks like it's raping you." Lmfao
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 08:18
|
|
|
remigious posted:Went on a date with a 32 year old man that was obsessed with pokemon. I like pokemon too, so whatever, I thought we would have a few friendly battles. Well he hit me with his EV trained Azumarill and said, "I like this one because it looks like it's raping you." Urgh I loving cringe thinking about the idiot situations I put myself in as a lonely single lady To be fair, Azumarill has been a rape machine for as long as it's had access to Aqua Jet (a priority+1 physical water move) and Huge Power (just straight up doubles attack), and Belly Drum just makes it even easier to do rape. If you were really cool, you could've hit him with a bulky Water or Grass type and shut him and his bullshit down.
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 08:20
|
|
|
remigious posted:Went on a date with a 32 year old man that was obsessed with pokemon. I like pokemon too, This is the most romantic story i've ever heard Chill Nazi Frog posted:To be fair, Azumarill has been a rape machine for as long as it's had access to Aqua Jet (a priority+1 physical water move) and Huge Power (just straight up doubles attack), and Belly Drum just makes it even easier to do rape. If you were really cool, you could've hit him with a bulky Water or Grass type and shut him and his bullshit down. Jesus christ man take me now
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 08:21
|
|
|
remigious posted:Went on a date with a 32 year old man that was obsessed with pokemon. I like pokemon too, so whatever, I thought we would have a few friendly battles. Well he hit me with his EV trained Azumarill and said, "I like this one because it looks like it's raping you." Urgh I loving cringe thinking about the idiot situations I put myself in as a lonely single lady 
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 14:27
|
|
|
remigious posted:Went on a date with a 32 year old man that was obsessed with pokemon. I like pokemon too, so whatever, I thought we would have a few friendly battles. Well he hit me with his EV trained Azumarill and said, "I like this one because it looks like it's raping you." Urgh I loving cringe thinking about the idiot situations I put myself in as a lonely single lady I hope you snapped his link cable off.
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 14:48
|
|
|
remigious posted:Went on a date with a 32 year old man that was obsessed with pokemon. I like pokemon too, so whatever, I thought we would have a few friendly battles. Well he hit me with his EV trained Azumarill and said, "I like this one because it looks like it's raping you." Urgh I loving cringe thinking about the idiot situations I put myself in as a lonely single lady How did you not melt as soon as he laid that line down?
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 14:53
|
|
|
Wamdoodle posted:How did you not melt as soon as he laid that line down? He didn't have any fire types in his deck.
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 15:39
|
|
|
The one thing I have learned from this thread that is if my current relationship doesn't work out I am never dating again.
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 16:49
|
|
|
I was seeing a girl called Becky who was a little on the crazy side. After a house party at my place it was just her, a friend of mine, his girlfriend Maggie, and myself playing BS and drinking. Becky puts down some cards and says "2 fives" or whatever and Maggie calls BS. Becky proceeds to jump out of her seat, yells "Are you calling me a liar?!", reaches over the table and punches Maggie right in the face. We kept dating a little longer after that...
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 18:01
|
|
|
Communist Q posted:Sounds like she was receiving dialysis on a regular basis. The thing under her arm was a fistula, and you can really feel it pulse. This was my exact thought too. I'm a dialysis patient and I tend to explain that whole deal up front. Sometimes I even get chicks who think it's neat to feel the pulse through the fistula.
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 18:56
|
|
|
So I was at kind of a low point after a break up and went on a tinder date with this girl I didn't know a lot about. We arranged to meet at the train station and then grab a coffee at this place on the waterfront. I was feeling a tad grotty and it was quite cold so I did show up in a hoodie however I didn't really have to worry because my date was just demolishing this snack sized bag of chips when she met me. Like she had the bag right up in her face like some kind of feedbag Anyway we walked along the waterfront to this coffee cart where she started interrogating the crap out of me. Not in a typical friendly date "getting to know you" way but more like she'd ask something then move onto the next thing on her "list" and so on. We nearly got to the coffee cart and I guess I failed whatever checklist she had because she asked to go to a different nearby (shittier) cafe and as I went in the door she blurted "I don't think its going to work out" and vanished. Strangely enough there was no second date
|
|
#
?
May 3, 2017 21:09
|
|
|
A male friend of mine once had sex with someone so unqualified for the act that he faked an orgasm.
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2017 01:06
|
|
|
Tofuslob posted:So I was at kind of a low point after a break up and went on a tinder date with this girl I didn't know a lot about. What sort of questions did she ask you? Honestly, I'm always a bit tempted to act kind of like this girl. I find that kind of straightforward ruthlessness appealing. My dream date is in a cold sparsely furnished concrete room with a two way mirror and one dingy lightbulb swinging from the ceiling, with plain wooden chairs and a worn out scratched up table. My date will nervously sit across from me while I go through a list of increasingly bizarre and hostile questions. At the end I will tell them that they're under arrest and that our next date will be a court date.
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2017 02:55
|
|
|
Vespertillian posted:What sort of questions did she ask you? Nothing odd or too personal (hobbies,major etc), just the brutal efficiency surprised me. Less "Oh what things are you into?" and more "HOBBIES?" You totally should do that but only if you do good cop/bad cop as well as wandering off to correlate everything they've said
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2017 06:13
|
|
|
a 60-something multi-multi millionaire once took me on a date to a french restaurant, which he bought out for that evening should have married him
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2017 07:01
|
|
|
I told a woman once that I have a butterfly collection and her reply was that it was extremely creepy because the rapey guy in the anime Paprika had a butterfly collection I just think they're nice 
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2017 08:45
|
|
|
Heath posted:I told a woman once that I have a butterfly collection and her reply was that it was extremely creepy because the rapey guy in the anime Paprika had a butterfly collection an anime lover called you creepy
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2017 08:49
|
|
|
taxidermy.txt
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2017 08:58
|
|
|
Pick posted:a 60-something multi-multi millionaire once took me on a date to a french restaurant, which he bought out for that evening Same Except she wasn't a millionaire and she cleared out the joint with a fake gun and held me hostage for hours Fortunately i developed severe stockholm syndrome and fell in deep love with her. She fed me hamburgers and then we had sex while I was handcuffed to the icecream machine... She got a little violent after that and after she beat me senseless I can't remember anything else. They say she went out in a blaze of glory though, which is hot as hell
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2017 09:05
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 10, 2024 02:12 |
|
|
100% true story
|
|
#
?
May 4, 2017 09:05
|
|