Pick posted:a 60-something multi-multi millionaire once took me on a date to a french restaurant, which he bought out for that evening think of all the avatars you could have bought
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# ? May 4, 2017 10:56 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 14:44 |
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Universe Master posted:an anime lover called you creepy
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# ? May 4, 2017 14:59 |
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I have more of these stories than I probably should. About a decade back I was visiting a friend over in Mexico. I had just ended a four year relationship and, like many freshly single men, was under the misconception that I should suddenly have access to regular casual sex. Turns out that being in a relationship had done nothing to change the fact that I had absolutely no talent for finding sexual partners. So I turned to my friend, who always seemed to be dating new women, and demanded that he hook me up. There was someone new that he was interested in and he called her up to see if she could bring a friend for a double date. As luck would have it she knew someone and we set up a meet at a local hookah bar. This is where things start to get a bit odd. When we arrived at the bar my date was nowhere to be seen. The woman my friend was seeing explained that her friend couldn’t come to the bar because she was at home having dinner with her boyfriend but said that we’d go and visit them later. I was confused and disappointed but, whatever, I was travelling and still having a good time. We stayed at the bar for a couple of hours waiting for the friend to call and tell us it was time to come over. By the time she called it was getting close to midnight. Nobody but me thought this was weird. We caught a taxi over and, when we arrived, found her home by herself. Turns out that her boyfriend had gone to a concert with another woman and she was feeling jilted. It didn’t dawn on me until after the fact that from the outset I had been invited as a revenge gently caress. Anyhow, the four of us started hitting the tequila and the conversation quickly became extremely lewd. My ‘date’ didn’t speak any meaningful amount of English and I had zero Spanish. This wasn’t a big problem as the other two translated for us. It was fun but, even without considering the absent boyfriend, no matter how much I had to drink I simply was not attracted to the woman I had been set up with. After a few more hours the other couple headed off upstairs, leaving the two of us alone. What followed was a increasingly uncomfortable, mostly non-verbal conversation in which I tried to explain that I was tired and wanted to sleep and a woman, to whom I was desperately unattracted, tried to explain that she wanted to gently caress. She even brought out a tub full of condoms and lube to try to help get the point across. Eventually she got frustrated and (presumably thinking I was a moron) stalked off to another room. Moments later her friend came back to explain to me as simply as she could that her friend just wanted to get into my pants. My protests fell on deaf ears and she soon left to get my friend to see if he could convince me. While he and I were talking me my date and her friend came back in dragging a mattress. At that point it became clear that my choices were to either make sure that no one had any sex or to just give in. I chose to give in. What followed was the most awkward sexual encounter I’ve ever had, followed by a short, uncomfortable, drunken sleep, and a dawn taxi ride back to my mate’s place before the boyfriend returned. That’s the last time I ever asked a friend to set me up with a date.
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# ? May 4, 2017 15:16 |
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Pick posted:a 60-something multi-multi millionaire once took me on a date to a french restaurant, which he bought out for that evening can you imagine being so autistic that you have to buy out a whole restraunt so you wont have to be around anyone else?
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# ? May 4, 2017 16:04 |
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Barudak posted:A male friend of mine once had sex with someone so unqualified for the act that he faked an orgasm. Bro let me tell you about drunk sex.
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# ? May 4, 2017 16:09 |
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new phone who dis posted:Bro let me tell you about drunk sex. You dont need to tell me about it, but they were sober.
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# ? May 4, 2017 16:12 |
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Pick posted:a 60-something multi-multi millionaire once took me on a date to a french restaurant, which he bought out for that evening lol why would a rich man want anything to do with you, dont lie
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# ? May 4, 2017 16:35 |
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Barudak posted:A male friend of mine once had sex with someone so unqualified for the act that he faked an orgasm. Slam whale
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# ? May 4, 2017 18:10 |
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October 11th is a real terrible date.
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# ? May 4, 2017 18:14 |
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Barudak posted:You dont need to tell me about it, but they were sober. Once you've done it once you might as well add it to your bag of tricks.
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# ? May 4, 2017 18:18 |
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My bag of tricks include *inappropriate farting *excessive sweating *running out of stamina *there's this vein on the side of my head that looks really gross whenever I get excited
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# ? May 4, 2017 18:38 |
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hoo boy the next few years are going to be a wild ride
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# ? May 4, 2017 18:42 |
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Fartbox posted:My bag of tricks include These are aces, I'm writing them down so I can remember to use them
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# ? May 4, 2017 19:39 |
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Fartbox posted:My bag of tricks include you forgot meowing like a cat and crawling to hide your boner friend
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# ? May 4, 2017 19:41 |
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Pick posted:a 60-something multi-multi millionaire once took me on a date to a french restaurant, which he bought out for that evening wasn't this a kimmy schmidt episode? Smash it Smash hit posted:can you imagine being so autistic that you have to buy out a whole restraunt so you wont have to be around anyone else? howard hughes was a great man maskenfreiheit fucked around with this message at 19:54 on May 4, 2017 |
# ? May 4, 2017 19:49 |
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sneakyfrog posted:you forgot meowing like a cat and crawling to hide your boner friend That is in my advanced bag You can read more about this "Advanced Dating" in my toolkit that you can buy for a mere 19.99$ (limited supply!). Purchase it on my webzone "Fartboxthewizard.org"
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# ? May 5, 2017 14:30 |
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I went on a date with a lady who was an electrical engineer. I kept asking her questions about electrical engineering because honestly, it's really cool and I'm interested as to what makes people tick and why they get into their field. Much like the other lady I went on a date with who wouldn't shut up about startup culture, this lady had self-image issues because her not much older brother was a doctor and her mom kept pressuring her to have kids and her dad was not in the equation. She ghosted me after one date, but gently caress it I had a nice time. I think she thought I was wildly uneducated or something, I dunno. At least it I found a nice bar afterwards.
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# ? May 5, 2017 17:57 |
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This thread is great. I don't have any bad date stories per se, but I do have a couple of bad almost-date stories. Not sure if I should share them though.
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# ? May 6, 2017 04:33 |
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Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:This thread is great.
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# ? May 6, 2017 04:33 |
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Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:This thread is great. if you're asking yourself that then it's best not to bore us
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# ? May 6, 2017 06:04 |
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Radical and BADical! posted:That was an awesome story. this does sound a lot like you're projecting - did she tell you she went on the date as a joke or did you just assume that? i mean, if she did it certainly is a bit sad on her part, and a waste of an evening for seemingly little gratification. if that is the case then it's just weird people being weird people; not too hard to just move on from. what actually seems to have happened at least from how you put it here is that she was interested you, the date went ok, then at some point she showed your pic to her friend or something and they had a giggle about it. at worst her friend told her that she thought you were creepy or something which might have contributed to her not responding to your message. again nbd your reaction just seems massively disproportionate; not everyone's out to be pointlessly cruel to you. the truth is arguably worse, in that most people are pretty oblivious and don't really care. i hope you're in a better place now at least
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# ? May 6, 2017 06:30 |
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So once I went on a date with a woman who listed on her OKC she was Vegan. Suggested a middle eastern place since they had a lot of stuff she could eat - stuffed grape leaves, hummice, falafel, etc.... I'm not but I was also down to expand my palate. She showed up, and looked nothing like her picture. We'd had a lot of shared interests and it was my lunch break so I figured I'd still eat lunch and just follow up later that there hadn't been a spark or some polite BS. We had a decent convo, I was having a nice time. The meal ended and I asked if she was interested in desert, since they have good baklava. "UH, did you FORGET I'm a VEGAN?" she borderline yelled. "Huh?" I responded "BAKLAVA USES HONEY, TAKEN FROM INNOCENT BEES" she yelled, slamming her hands on the table to express her displeasure. She spent the rest of the date (me gesturing furiously for the check for 2 min then dropping some bills down to GTFO) loudly lecturing me about how taking bees honey is abusive and how this probably isn't a match given my lack of respect for her beliefs. :/
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# ? May 8, 2017 19:25 |
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Baklava is like 90% butter by volume, youd think that would be the bigger issue?
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# ? May 8, 2017 19:34 |
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I'm surprised at how hard it is to find a woman who would be cool with getting stoned and listening to Vaporwave.
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# ? May 8, 2017 19:49 |
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Vargatron posted:I'm surprised at how hard it is to find a woman who would be cool with getting stoned and listening to Vaporwave. i could find 15 girls right now who would wanna do that. the gently caress. who doesnt like drugs and muzak
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# ? May 8, 2017 20:11 |
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Yeah it was a dumb joke.
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# ? May 8, 2017 20:15 |
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Piss de Bundy posted:i could find 15 girls right now who would wanna do that. the gently caress. who doesnt like drugs and muzak Vaporwave
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# ? May 8, 2017 20:17 |
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maskenfreiheit posted:So once I went on a date with a woman who listed on her OKC she was Vegan. I got set up with a vegan who had a bunch of tattoos, and I asked her if she had to get them special because as far as I know tattoo ink generally isn't vegan. She got mad at me as if I had tricked her out of veganism or something and stormed out. Definitely the best case scenario to be honest.
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# ? May 8, 2017 20:50 |
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Saint Freak posted:I got set up with a vegan who had a bunch of tattoos, and I asked her if she had to get them special because as far as I know tattoo ink generally isn't vegan. She got mad at me as if I had tricked her out of veganism or something and stormed out. ha one of my coworkers has a "no meat athlete" bumper sicker on their car and just about started frothing at the mouth when i mentioned why do you have a sticker talking about how skinny you are?
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# ? May 8, 2017 20:53 |
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I supplement my form with protein injections and synthol
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# ? May 8, 2017 21:43 |
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men are peepee doodoo
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# ? May 8, 2017 22:02 |
GBS hates men
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# ? May 8, 2017 22:05 |
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Pick posted:men are peepee doodoo As a man, can confirm. EDIT: vvvv I stand corrected. Choco1980 fucked around with this message at 23:16 on May 8, 2017 |
# ? May 8, 2017 22:06 |
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Pick posted:men are peepee doodoo wrong, motherfucker men are caca-poopee wee wee
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# ? May 8, 2017 22:07 |
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Chill Nazi Frog posted:wrong, motherfucker
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# ? May 8, 2017 22:17 |
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Pick posted:men are peepee doodoo Dont sign your posts
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# ? May 8, 2017 23:07 |
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Pick posted:men are peepee doodoo Pick dialogue indistinguishable from "pickle pee, pump-a-rum" a gimmick character who is literally a shrill bird.
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# ? May 8, 2017 23:23 |
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Putty posted:Vaporwave i fogging released a mist-tape, dawg
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# ? May 8, 2017 23:32 |
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Chomp8645 posted:Pick dialogue indistinguishable from "pickle pee, pump-a-rum" a gimmick character who is literally a shrill bird. Solaire left his armor in the pickle pee nest after a very bad date with crows
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# ? May 8, 2017 23:43 |
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# ? May 11, 2024 14:44 |
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Pick posted:men are peepee doodoo Every day, in every way.
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# ? May 9, 2017 00:36 |