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if the LMTV driver had gotten more rest this wouldnt have happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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May 5, 2017 22:02
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CHICKEN SHOES posted:fuuck good ol sFC Jones It's funny because he, and everyone in the online slide show, are in uniforms that haven't been worn in a decade. I actually had a class not long ago that the actors were wearing bell bottoms and the Soldiers were in vietnam uniforms.
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May 5, 2017 22:03
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The only guy I want to see giving me training is SGT Chowdown.
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May 5, 2017 22:03
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Sgt. Chowdown defected to ISIS, his name is Muhhamed Kosha Ahmad al-Akbari now. Hotdogs are haram (forbidden).
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May 5, 2017 23:23
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Woof Blitzer posted:Sgt. Chowdown defected to ISIS, his name is Muhhamed Kosha Ahmad al-Akbari now. Hotdogs are haram (forbidden). you shut your whore mouth
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May 5, 2017 23:31
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tastefully arranged labia posted:you shut your whore mouth
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May 5, 2017 23:33
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tastefully arranged labia posted:you shut your whore mouth
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May 6, 2017 00:37
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tastefully arranged labia posted:you shut your whore mouth
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May 6, 2017 00:45
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Why is every loving digital program the Army uses complete and utter dog poo poo. Holy gently caress is DTMS a steaming pile of poo poo. No poo poo it's not up to date, we've spent the majority of the past 4 months in the field so yes BDE, let's make it go home criteria for the weekend literally the day after people get back from Yakima. gently caress the Army
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May 6, 2017 01:28
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Mustang posted:Why is every loving digital program the Army uses complete and utter dog poo poo. Holy gently caress is DTMS a steaming pile of poo poo. No poo poo it's not up to date, we've spent the majority of the past 4 months in the field so yes BDE, let's make it go home criteria for the weekend literally the day after people get back from Yakima.  welcome to half of my entire job for the last two years. Getting DTMS up to date is a Sisyphean task, but get used to it. Just be glad we're not in an airborne unit. Having to input every single jump that every single person has ever done, based on their hand jammed jump log. Had a dude with more than 250. His alone took a day.
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May 6, 2017 01:42
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I'm glad that our leadership has decided "upload the SHARP stuff" is good enough for DTMS. But when senior leaders or GOs say "UHHHH DTMS isn't new, it's been the standard for years, why isn't everyone uploading?!" it's hard not to reply that if something has been the standard for about a decade and no one likes using it, it probably is loving awful and stupid.
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May 6, 2017 01:49
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Maybe things have improved (lol Army, no) but AKO for me was the Platonic ideal expression of the "complete and utter dogshit software that has done every single thing wrong" form. It was sublime in it's shittyness.
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May 6, 2017 01:59
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Mustang posted:Why is every loving digital program the Army uses complete and utter dog poo poo. Holy gently caress is DTMS a steaming pile of poo poo. No poo poo it's not up to date, we've spent the majority of the past 4 months in the field so yes BDE, let's make it go home criteria for the weekend literally the day after people get back from Yakima. Because the contractors they hire to build them will take anyone with a pulse.
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May 6, 2017 01:58
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Does AKO still recommend that you downgrade to IE6 or whatever to use it, lol
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May 6, 2017 02:07
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ALMS is a loving nightmare.
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May 6, 2017 02:21
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I lost a JSAM due to hosed up systems.
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May 6, 2017 03:07
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Mustang posted:gently caress the Army This post makes me very happy.
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May 6, 2017 04:41
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Yeah it feels like validation after watching many seasons of a show that could only end one way
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May 6, 2017 09:02
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Mustang posted:Why is every loving digital program the Army uses complete and utter dog poo poo. Holy gently caress is DTMS a steaming pile of poo poo. No poo poo it's not up to date, we've spent the majority of the past 4 months in the field so yes BDE, let's make it go home criteria for the weekend literally the day after people get back from Yakima. I have a legit reason/story for this with a little insight. I used to be an 89B and since I was "smart" I realized that trying to figure out how to manage stocks of ammunition through excel was infinitely easier than paper and pen or whatever the gently caress I had to do. I taught myself excel formulas, powerpoint, and word stuff to make a lot of variables. Things like classifying the ammo by lot number, serial number, DODIC, DODAC, condition code, amount of rounds etc. This so that I could receive a report of ammo, copy it and paste it into excel and have it populate for the ASPs that reported to me at the CSA which I packaged up and sent to the TSA. This was 2008-09 Iraq so this was a surge deployment. When I arrived in Iraq (late deployed, appendix almost ruptured and would have over the Atlantic Ocean which is an awesome thing to hear a doctor say by the way), the reporting process took 12 hours. That's after units had reported. It was bad enough to need 24 hour shifts. It was so goddamn bad that I recreated the entire process. Soon after I was done building it, the reporting process grew more accurate, took 1 hour instead of 12, and was easily learned. I literally created the accounting process for ammunition from 08-09 and it was used theatre wide, for how long, I don't know. Now I was curious about a few things. First was how to protect it and second was to make sure someone didn't erase it by accident trying to learn how to do it. Ownership was a no because Army equipment. However if I were to do it in my own time and equipment, and the system were implemented, the army would buy my model. However, a lot of these niche programs don't have a huge deadline or what have not to continually push updates because most of the hard work is done and gently caress you got mine. I got hosed on my campaign award if you could imagine it, 3 senior NCOs curtailed off my success into warrants and I retired bitter as gently caress.
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May 6, 2017 12:08
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Dude if you even sort of remember how that worked I could help you create a SaaS JavaScript application with a nosql backend that we could sell to the Army for millions That being said lol excel formulas also it would be in SharePoint Online
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May 6, 2017 13:22
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The amount of redundant systems, all of which are mandatory, none of which talk to each other, in Army stats-land is abysmal. Oh btw, the OPSEC training class has like a 10 minute long TED talk from fuckin' 2012 that spends a ahitload of time just to say "cookies track you on the Internet did you know? Also I have zero solutions!" It might be the most incompetently and stupidly designed online training I've ever taken, including the adventure of car-head-man in the CTIP training.
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May 6, 2017 13:28
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milk milk lemonade posted:also it would be in SharePoint Online No.
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May 6, 2017 14:44
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It would be thousands of code snippets using Angular I edited into a master page using a soon to be deprecated public SharePoint site  It would be my ultimate gently caress you Army
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May 6, 2017 15:30
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I sure love logging into mandatory OPSEC training just to be told my flash, which I can't update due to OPSEC, is out of date. Fortunately, this defaulted me into skipping ahead to the test and passing without the training because the Army's mandatory training is dumb as gently caress. What must you do before leaving work? A: Do lines off a show poodle's right left shank B: Call Jimmy John's and place an order for a Vito C: sell every single secret to Russia D: Kill Everyone Thanks quizmaster!
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May 6, 2017 17:04
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everytime i go to a hotel i demand a room close the fire escape. I demand a biometric safe to store any PII digital media. I put electical tape over the peep hole in the door. I seal every window and other potential vector areas for a chemical attack with opaque sheets of plastic. if I do have to leave my hotel room (can't trust room service, either) I crawl under my car, pop hood, trunk, and search for possible explosvies that the terrorists may have put there. I never take the same route to work twice. I do not place bumper stickers on my car that could identify potential risks to myself or my family. I am an E4 cook in the army, and I learned these life skills from the counter terrorism training.
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May 6, 2017 17:14
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hey guys spring is here lets sit around and review grilling and boat safety for, say, 2 hours, cant be safe enough
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May 6, 2017 17:15
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May 6, 2017 17:23
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"learn how to stop" is pretty loving good advice for anyone on planet earth drawing a paycheck from uncle sam tbh
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May 6, 2017 17:36
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I deliberately excluded astronauts from that assertion fyi
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May 6, 2017 17:36
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With the accident rate I'd say astronauts are pretty good at stopping
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May 6, 2017 17:58
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tastefully arranged labia posted:With the accident rate I'd say astronauts are pretty good at stopping Challenger and Columbia are what happens when you don't wear a reflective belt. If only they had known! 
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May 6, 2017 18:40
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CHICKEN SHOES posted:everytime i go to a hotel i demand a room close the fire escape. And that's how you fail the pretest! Die in a fire before having the risk of being abducted out a fire escape apparently! Gee I wonder which risk is more likely.
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May 6, 2017 19:04
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poo poo I had it backwards, god drat it you loving idiot, you moron
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May 6, 2017 19:06
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CHICKEN SHOES posted:poo poo I had it backwards, god drat it you loving idiot, you moron I hate myself for knowing you were wrong and for knowing that cars with AC are more terrorist proof.
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May 6, 2017 19:10
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mlmp08 posted:And that's how you fail the pretest! Dying is the ultimate infosec preventative measure. The bad guys can't pick your brains for sensitive information if your brains have already been destroyed.
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May 6, 2017 19:31
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I'm sorry GiP I have shamed you. I achieved above minimum in my run this morning.
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May 6, 2017 19:52
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milk milk lemonade posted:Dude if you even sort of remember how that worked I could help you create a SaaS JavaScript application with a nosql backend that we could sell to the Army for millions I remember a sharepoint program that had two dude names on it that supposedly created he system before.
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May 6, 2017 19:58
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This is a message about OPSEC to you from the Army (really, this is a real thing) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQZyHOXkoqU e: lol at the comment from Jingle Jangle on Youtube: Jingle Jangle1 week ago Please sit on my face.
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May 6, 2017 20:26
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play the one about date rape that invariably had soldiers cheering at a successful rape and then later trying to justify that they do the exact same poo poo all the time and women use it to ruin their careers or something
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May 6, 2017 20:33
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I don't always have a GoPro going.
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May 6, 2017 20:33
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