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Tiggum posted:Also if you're at my parents house and trying to watch something on their godawful lovely television you can actually follow the dialogue without turning the volume up way too loud. Oh yeah that too I like your parents they're good folks and their taste in movies is p good 
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May 5, 2017 22:59
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magikid posted:Oh hey someone posted an image. Fuk'n aye I hate this poo poo too, we should hang out.
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May 5, 2017 23:10
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Astrobastard posted:Thats cool too but I like thing. My personal favourite is ones who claim that they're half "scotch". Great that you admit you're an alcoholic but alcoholic isn't a race / nationality.
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May 5, 2017 23:40
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Bogan King posted:My personal favourite is ones who claim that they're half "scotch". Great that you admit you're an alcoholic but alcoholic isn't a race / nationality. Ugh, I've known a few of those but it's always "Nah bro I'm not even drunk. I'm like 75 percent Irish!" *Falls into a gutter and poops their pants*
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May 5, 2017 23:59
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Inzombiac posted:Ugh, I've known a few of those but it's always "Nah bro I'm not even drunk. I'm like 75 percent Irish!" I meant calling themselves scotch instead of Scottish. Although anyone who claims they're able to handle their booze because of their heritage is most assuredly using that to cover up the fact that they're drinking like they want to die and soon will.
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May 6, 2017 00:11
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Astrobastard posted:Thats cool too but I like thing. I am mildly annoyed about this too: less about them claiming a heritage that isn't theirs, but more that they are denying a perfectly good heritage of their own.
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May 6, 2017 00:16
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People who claim to be Irish/French/whatever and still put pineapple on food. I mean they're just lying 
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May 6, 2017 00:17
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I don't like when people (it's always a white person too) ask me what my ethnicity is. gently caress off.
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May 6, 2017 00:24
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magikid posted:Oh hey someone posted an image. Oh cool, I'm not the only one that hates these jokes that stopped being funny years ago, too.
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May 6, 2017 00:44
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Astrobastard posted:Thats cool too but I like thing. Lol I'd file this one under "mild annoyance" for sure, mainly because of how my father does it. My dad is so proud to be "Irish". His grandmother moved from Ireland before she was 10, his dad's side had been in the states for a long time before that and that side is just a mutt of heritage, something like English and German and a few others. We really have no idea except the fact that we're really, really white. We have a very British last name. My favorite is when he proudly orders an Irish whiskey at restaurants and quizzes the server on their selection, and ugh dear God not Jameson, the good stuff (he only knows Tullamore Dew), I'm Irish ya know.
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May 6, 2017 03:05
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Mu Zeta posted:I don't like when people (it's always a white person too) ask me what my ethnicity is. gently caress off. Just your local ultra-left segregationists making sure you know your place, as dictated by they.
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May 6, 2017 03:23
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I just thought of a real one, one that would be filed, in the words of George Carlin, under "major psychotic loving hatred." When people lie about allergies in a restaurant when they don't like something because they think they'll get special attention, or that it will get hosed up if they just ask for no beans or whatever. As a guest in a restaurant, you are paying our salaries, while some cooks or (immature) chefs may be salty about changing their dish, we will make reasonable substitutions for you, because you are paying me andl that is what you want. We take allergies super, super seriously. If you don't, someone can wind up in the hospital, or worse. People that lie about their allergies take a very serious matter and dilute it. They waste valuable time and energy. If you have "severe celiac disease" and order a beer with your meal, or say that it's OK that our fries, that are gluten free, are fried in the same frier as breaded stuff, I hate you so much. I especially hate you if you have Celiac for your entire meal,zazu then order a cheesecake with a Graham cracker crust and tell the server you are "going to be bad and eat some gluten" while you order it. You are the reason that people who actually have Celiac, a pretty serious digestive issue that will land them in the bathroom for an uncomfortable several hours if they get the tiniest bit of flour or whatever contaminates their food, are not taken seriously. If you have a severe seafood allergy for your appetizer, but it's ok that the ramen you ordered for dinner has fish sauce in it, you are a terrible human being. A restaurant is a well oiled machine, and allergies put a wrench in those gears. Which is fine, if you have an allergy. We are happy that you trust our cooks to prepare food for you. But when an allergy comes in, everything has to be cleaned, new cutting boards, new utensils, etc. Most food in a restaurant is prepped ahead of time, even in a restaurant where everything is made from scratch, veggies are chopped and held in pans, recipes are made, most of the food is just about ready to go so that when you come in to eat. That way you can have your food in 10-15 minutes, and not an hour and a half. When an allergy comes in, if your allergen is anywhere near any of your food, or there is even a risk that it was near your food during any part of the prep process earlier in the day, it will be prepared 100% from scratch, because it's not worth the risk. A cook who could be cooking plates for 20 people at the same time is now cooking for 1, and other cooks who were cooking for 20 are now cooking for 25 and scrambling their balls off to make up for that first cook's slack. Which, again, is ok, as long as all of that effort is because you actually have an allergy. If you are lying because you don't like something, just know you are a real piece of poo poo. If you don't want the shrimp that come on the risotto, just say that, they will be left off. Sure, mistakes are made, but they will be fixed. But please, please do not be the kind of person who lies about having an allergy. om nom nom has a new favorite as of 04:09 on May 6, 2017 |
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May 6, 2017 04:07
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om nom nom posted:I just thought of a real one, one that would be filed, in the words of George Carlin, under "major psychotic loving hatred." As I used to say, it's bloody astonishing how human DNA mutated to such an extent that gluten was indigestible in the space of 15 years, with the vast majority of people having no problem with it for millennia beforehand. And, equally astonishing, it only seems to affect white women from 13 to 60, along with effete yuppie city dwellers. I blame a dysgenics experiment by "the corporation".
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May 6, 2017 04:41
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Jerry Cotton posted:Sub-titles are literally the best because you can eat loud snacks and still follow the dialogue. This is more of a pet-peeve since it's a cultural norm, by why is traditional American theater food noisy as gently caress? Who decided that the best soundtrack to a movie would be the person behind you rummaging through popcorn bags and fiddling with candy wrappers?
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May 6, 2017 04:43
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Popcorn was super cheap to make and people had no money during the depression. It was around the time mainstream movies turned into "talkies" and had huge appeal.
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May 6, 2017 04:55
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Cinema food is still super super cheap and is packaged in the cheapest possible wrapping possible in order to minimize overheads. The concessions stand represents a huge chunk of their profit margin, these days their business model is pretty much using the movies as a lure to get hungry people into the venue.
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May 6, 2017 05:20
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Sic Semper Goon posted:As I used to say, it's bloody astonishing how human DNA mutated to such an extent that gluten was indigestible in the space of 15 years, with the vast majority of people having no problem with it for millennia beforehand. From what I understand some of it comes from heritage. Native Americans, for example, naturally ate a gluten free diet until wheat was brought to the Americas, and even after that they ate a largely gluten free diet, keeping with traditional food. It's similar with Asians, they didn't have to digest gluten for thousands of years, and many are probably gluten intolerant and don't realize it, because they just eat gluten free all the time. There's similar information about lactose intolerance in cultures that don't drink milk. That certainly doesn't account for all cases, people are gluten intolerant across the board, but it's one factor that's been looked into. It makes sense that it's popped up recently, it's a really difficult and invasive thing to test for. Your options are pretty much to have an intestinal biopsy, or if you feel like poo poo all the time, cut out gluten and see if that makes you feel better. That and the fact that it's an intolerance and not a true allergy, so you just feel like poo poo rather than going into anaphylactic shock, I could totally see that people would just go through life thinking that their digestive system just sucks in general and they get bloated and have the shits all the time. Once someone figured out the celiac disease thing, it became more prevelant and people and doctors started looking into that option. All of that being said, celiac effects something like 1% of the population. Assuming another 1% is in a "testing" phase and legitimately cutting out gluten for a month to see if it truly improves their lives, way more than that claim to have Celiac. It's those affluent white people who jumped on the bandwagon and think going gluten free is a diet or a healthy choice or whatever that drive me nuts. And exponentially more so when they claim it's an allergy. Even though you won't kill somebody by accidentally feeding them gluten, it is a very real thing that needs to be taken seriously for a very small percentage of the population. It's the wealthy stay at home mom, who tells her server that everyone at the table is severely allergic to gluten because she doesn't want Carter, Asher, and Sebastian eating gluten like the unhealthy poors that haven't done their research, that have turned a recently discovered intolerance into a joke for the masses and an massively stressful situation for chefs. As a side note, I've found a good indicator for someone lying about gluten (aside from when they find out that something they want can't be made gluten free, but "that's ok") is when they say they have a gluten allergy. Although I lumped it in with allergies, it's an intolerance, a lack of a digestive enzyme, rather than a true allergy. Anyone who has actually had a doctor diagnose them with Celiac disease will either name the disease or say they are gluten intolerant, people who say the word allergy are generally full of poo poo.
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May 6, 2017 05:38
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I've got dairy intolerance but I still eat it because I hate myself and love cheese. Farts for the fart throne. That said, I also hate people who claim to have allergies for things they just don't like. Had a minor panic attack the other day because an aquaintance said they were allergic to shellfish as they were eating my fried rice, which I make with shrimp. Turns out, no, not an actual allergy, they're just not super fond of shrimp. And that's why they're not invited to hang out anymore.
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May 6, 2017 05:58
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The flip side of this though is someone like my friend who has had an known issue with this for a very long time. She loves all the sooks because it means that everywhere has gluten free options now so eating out is way less of a hassle than it used to be. This does all fall apart when somewhere says they've got a gluten free whatever but it isn't and she ends up getting crook. Thankfully that hasn't happened much.
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May 6, 2017 05:59
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Sociopastry posted:I've got dairy intolerance but I still eat it because I hate myself and love cheese. Farts for the fart throne. Do all cheese affect you the same way? Can you drink milk? I heard that the hard/dry cheeses like parmesan don't have as much lactose so most people can handle them better.
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May 6, 2017 06:06
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om nom nom posted:From what I understand some of it comes from heritage. Native Americans... Perhaps, but I'm an Australian, and I've only come across, in my experience, British-Irish descended whites who bring it up.
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May 6, 2017 07:24
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No these are real things it's probably just that more middle class well off people are more aware of them. Northern europeans like brits/germans/scandis have a much higher lactose tolerance than southern europeans (italians/greek etc) because they drank un processed milk.
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May 6, 2017 07:47
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Mu Zeta posted:Do all cheese affect you the same way? Can you drink milk? I heard that the hard/dry cheeses like parmesan don't have as much lactose so most people can handle them better. All cheese, I can't drink milk. Lactase (sp?) does nothing. Of I eat or drink anything with dairy in it, it's cramp time. And horrible farts time.
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May 6, 2017 08:37
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Voyager I posted:This is more of a pet-peeve since it's a cultural norm, by why is traditional American theater food noisy as gently caress? Who decided that the best soundtrack to a movie would be the person behind you rummaging through popcorn bags and fiddling with candy wrappers? Oh I don't eat a the cinema obviously.
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May 6, 2017 12:06
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Sic Semper Goon posted:Perhaps, but I'm an Australian, and I've only come across, in my experience, British-Irish descended whites who bring it up. There are certainly other factors, it's not a particularly well known thing yet. But trendy whites are definitely the most likely to bring it up, regardless of if they actually have an issue with it or not.
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May 6, 2017 16:35
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Setting: a bar, hanging out with friends. Friend: Hey, we're going to head to Bar #2 now, are you in? Me: Sure, sounds good!  [10 minutes later] Me: So are we going to Bar #2 yet? Friend: We're going in like 2 minutes, just rallying the troops. [15 minutes and one more drink later] Me: I think I'm gonna head home... Friend: Oh come on, you're not coming to Bar #2 with us? We're leaving super soon! Me: Eh, fine, I'll finish my drink and come with you guys. Friend: Yay! [5 minutes later, drink is finished] Friend: Alright, are you coming with us? Me: Are you leaving right now? Friend: Yes! Me: Okay, then I'm leaving too. Friend: Good. [5 minutes later] Friend: *is embroiled in conversation with someone* Me: *goes home without friend noticing*
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May 6, 2017 17:14
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I've heard a lot about "we didn't use to have so many allergies back when" Yeah you did. But a child that was allergic or had a strong intolerance to things like potatoes, wheat or dairy was just "That sickly/weak kid who died one winter" Just like they probably had as much cancer back then as we do now. But instead of grandpa having headaches for a few years before dying peacefully in his chair one evening. He might get another 10-20 years with a proper diagnosis.
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May 6, 2017 18:42
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Also saying autism is on the rise when it really just used to be that higher functioning autistic people would just be "weird" or whatever and lower functioning people would be in state institutions so no one ever saw them.
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May 6, 2017 20:55
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Allergy fakers are annoying, but my girlfriend has coeliac disease and the quality/quantity explosion in gluten free products since the gluten free fad has been a godsend. I'm pretty sure I'd kill myself if the only bread or pasta I could ever eat was dry tasteless poo poo I had to order from my doctor. Speaking of bread and pasta, Italy takes gluten free super seriously. I don't know if they have a high percentage of coeliacs or if they just don't want anyone to miss out on awesome Italian food, but everywhere serves gluten free stuff as a matter of course and all of it was light years beyond what I've had anywhere else.
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May 6, 2017 21:47
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Catberry posted:I've heard a lot about "we didn't use to have so many allergies back when" I think about this a lot, people will sometimes come in with these little cards that have their multiple severe allergies on them, like "I am deathly allergic to soy, peanuts, shellfish, nuts, and dairy." Well you are sure lucky you weren't born 100 years ago, you wouldn't have made it past 5. I'm happy to accommodate for allergies, but I always wonder why those people go out to eat. There's a good chance that most of the multiple foods that will kill you in trace amounts are all over this restaurant, why cause everyone (including yourself) extreme stress while they pray that the aura of the peanuts two stations down doesn't kill your incredibly sensitive rear end. My all time favorite allergy lie was when a woman ordered a caprese pasta that was topped with chiffonade basil. "I have a chiffonade allergy, please make sure there isn't any near my food." Second was last summer a woman came in with a severe gluten sensitivity. She told her server that she was so sensitive to gluten that her food couldn't be brought to her on the same tray as her husband's food. When the server told me this, I told her to apologize, but I am not comfortable cooking for her; our restaurant isn't gluten free, we get flour and semolina and dump it into bins, there could be flour in the air. Her food would be prepared near other food that contains gluten, regardless of how it was brought to her, and there is no way to avoid it. Of course she was fine with that, her food being cooked directly next to another pan that had pasta in it, it just couldn't be brought to her near gluten. So I had to have 2 food runners attending to a single 2-top during a huge rush in the middle of our busiest season because this bitch likes to be the most special person in the restaurant.
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May 6, 2017 23:21
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Just wait until salt is the new gluten, and then they'll have the nerve to complain that their food tastes bland and undersalted, when they spent ten minutes screaming at the poor bastard of a waiter about how they have a salt "allergy". EDIT: On the plus side, if they actually keep up with eating literally no salt, the problem will eventually solve itself.
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May 6, 2017 23:42
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NO gently caress YOU DAD posted:Allergy fakers are annoying, but my girlfriend has coeliac disease... Yeah, sure she does, mate. Sure she does.
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May 6, 2017 23:45
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om nom nom posted:My all time favorite allergy lie was when a woman ordered a caprese pasta that was topped with chiffonade basil. "I have a chiffonade allergy, please make sure there isn't any near my food." She probably got food poisoning from something and "chiffonade" was the only unfamiliar word so she decided she must be allergic to it.
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May 7, 2017 00:23
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Humorous spelling and typography when writing "Microsoft" in the god drat year 2017. e: Michaelsoft Binbows gets a pass because it's a meme and I loving love memes.
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May 7, 2017 01:46
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Someone staring at you for no reason. I don't mean someone zones out and happens to be staring in your general direction. If someone is staring at me, I move and they're still staring at me, say something or look somewhere else! Creeps me out/makes me worry there's something on my face/clothes and they just don't want to comment.
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May 7, 2017 03:41
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Chef Bourgeoisie posted:Someone staring at you for no reason. It's all of you hope this helps.
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May 7, 2017 03:44
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E: wrong thread(?)
Nostalgia4Infinity has a new favorite as of 03:47 on May 7, 2017 |
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May 7, 2017 03:44
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Chef Bourgeoisie posted:Someone staring at you for no reason. I once got the angry death glare from a waitress behind the counter of a bar a friend and I went to once, the entire time I was there. I asked him to watch her when I went to check on something on the other side of the bar, and he confirmed that she was glaring at me the whole time. I didn't think I was that ugly, but there you go.
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May 7, 2017 04:39
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Jerry Cotton posted:Humorous spelling and typography when writing "Microsoft" in the god drat year 2017. Micro$oft On topic. People who use the word "food poisoning" instead of "the runs" or "a stomach ache" Like when a guy goes to a buffet and eats a mountain of fried chicken and then gets the runs an hour later. So he goes to the review page and accuses them of giving him food poisoning (pretty drat serious accusations). If two days later you can't get out of bed and it's running out of both ends. Then you might have food poisoning.
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May 7, 2017 06:46
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I never imagined someone lying about food allergies because they disliked something about a meal. Who the hell does that? How hard is it to say "I don't care for X, is there something you would recommend?" to a server? Most restaurants offer enough options nowadays that most folks can find something they'll eat on a menu.
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