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UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit

mlmp08 posted:

This is a message about OPSEC to you from the Army (really, this is a real thing)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQZyHOXkoqU

e: lol at the comment from Jingle Jangle on Youtube:

Jingle Jangle1 week ago
Please sit on my face.

The other comment is just as good:

quote:

Greetings,I'm the OPSEC PM for the Air National Guard and If possible, I'd like to get a copy of "OPSEC: Sophia The Teenager" for my Local OPSEC Program at the Air National Guard Readiness Center. This is a great video that's short and to the point. Is it possible to get a digital copy? I can be reached at DSN 612-9279. Mr. Tyler

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Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.
:stare:

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004

Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration
Nap Ghost
After re-reading that lmao

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

At least the sit on my face thing was funny.

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004

Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration
Nap Ghost
I ran about 5 miles last Friday and canceled my physical therapy and also I'm going to the gym tomorrow.

That's not a brag, it's a "goddamn motherfucking goddammit for fucks' sake loving physical therapy" post

FIDEL CASHFLOW
Oct 13, 2009
i roller skated 5 miles today because running is dumb and i think that roller skating is way cooler gently caress you if you dont

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004

Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration
Nap Ghost
I've started very informally rock climbing. It's amazing compared to the physical therapy they offer. Running also feels better than what they offer. ffs.

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit

FIDEL CASHFLOW posted:

i roller skated 5 miles today because running is dumb and i think that roller skating is way cooler gently caress you if you dont


A horrifying post on drugs-forum.com posted:

Swim's most euphoric combination was actually this morning:

Swallow a tablet of TUMS (antiacid)
then,

Crushed into fine powder:

- 80mg Ritalin with ECA Stack (24mg ECL Ephedrine, 81 mg Aspirin, 100mg Caffeine tablets.

and distributed the resulting 285 mg total cocktail powder as follows:

+ 20mg cocktail powder for Intra-urethral ROA (for automatic re-dosing):

Filled 20mg of this cocktail powder inside a hollow urethral plug, up the urethra, and lock it to my genital piecing. The tiny sweat will take care of slowly dissolving it.

+ 20mg cocktail powder for sub-lingual ROA (for automatic re-dosing) with a tongue piercing Rx delivery mechanism.

+ 245 Plugging:

Dissolved the remaining 245mg of power inside a baby feeding syringe filled with warm water, and squirted it up the rectum.

When finished plugging (aka Booty Bumping), I locked myself into a full waistband steel chastity belt with an integrated Steel Rattler Butt Plug, (Google for "Rattler Butt Plug" by Mr. S) that, in addition to completely seal the cocktail, it also ensured that any trapped opiates inside feces, will get crushed inside the rectum, dissolved and the large surface are of the steel butt plug, will evenly get soaked and distribute opiates trough the entire rectal mucus membrane it comes in contact with. -- That otherwise would get lost.

Knowing that my dentist cleanup is scheduled, for automatic re-dosing on the go, I also decided on to redose on the go sublingually ROA, through my tongue piercing barbell with a small container on the top. (Google for "Vibe Master Tongue Ring"). When the vibrator mechanism and the battery is removed, the housing can easily hold 20mg of powder) Drilled 4 tiny holes, one of which directly under the barbell stud, and as saliva will slowly come in contact, it will flow the opiate directly down the Salivary glands where the bottom ball comes into contact with.

For extra efficiency when working out, this is best done when biting on sports double mouthguard, as the a mouth guard will increase salivary flow coming into contact with the freely wiggling and unobstructed tongue piercing delivery mechanism. I'm not a big fan of sub-lingual ROA re-dosing when inline skating, because in addition if having to endure the terrible Ritalin taste soaked in the my mouth (also known as Meth Mouth), Meth mouth is a devastating effect of methamphetamines on teeth, by attacking and stripping the enamel. It's not what I particularly look forward to. I will only use this method once in a while for the experience, with caution and moderation, especially when I'm due for a teeth cleanup at my dentist.

I covered the outfit with a tight pair of spandex shorts, and put on a pair of inline skates and protective equipment, ready to skate the trails. It's desirable to be out the door fast, and already on inline-skates, before plugging onset kicks-in. It's usually the plugging onset that kicks in first, fast and hard, which happens to also be the largest dose. Clenching on wheels, lacing skates and putting on protection equipment while the onset quickly rushes to peak, can be tricky on the balance, so I manage to on wheels fast. It's best and safe to have a stabilized rolling skating momentum when the onset will kick-in. This instant moment, it's the highlight, and makes extremely pleasant experience. "The feeling is best described as: Being in a Concorde at the very moment it brakes the sound barrier"

I laced my skates, stood up the pavement and as I started to roll, every bump I was rolling over, caused my rattler butt plug to send mild, yet euphoric vibes up my spine. By the time, the initial syringe Plugging onset kicked-in fast and hard, just in time. And increasing exponentially with every move as now the butt plug is effectively dissolving and stirring like a food blender any trapped or hidden cocktail solution inside the anal canal). Definitely wired and tweaked for endurance.

Carried loads of Gatorade to keep hydrated. And obviously roller sating slow -- as any signs of pain was non-existent while cutting trough head wind or up slopes.

Inside my urethra, an (anatomical curved) 85mm Hollow Prince's wand sound filled with powder. As sweat comes in contact, it slowly drips the cocktail trough my vertical Apadravia Piercing barbell, effectively slowly and constantly re-dosing though the glans. Intra-urethral ROA is a very efficient ROA for hassle-free, hands-free automatic re-dosing, on the go.

My penis rendered in a meth-dick state confined inside my chastity belt steel tube, with every skating stroke and road bump, aside of the butt plug's clanger inside rattling vibes up my column, it was also mildly vibing against my prostate. This teasing, combined with the rolling skating motion, the weight of the powdered-filled wand inside my urethra was either sending my penis flying against the steel walls of it's thick steel protector tube, or the protruding 1mm screwed ball at the end knocking metal to metal.

I have observed that this wiggling motion and pleasant knocking, also causes powder to be available at all times where my 10gauge piercing barbell crosses though the drilled hole of the wand. As tiny sweat comes into contact with the powdered barbell that cuts at though the drilled hole of the powered filled urethra wand, it dissolves it and flows down by gravity along the barbell walls down the glands ready to be instantaneously absorbed by the penis glans.

At one point, I was over stimulated -- helplessly at the edge of an orgasm throughout, but not quite. I would say hard-core teasing. To fully appreciate the experience, is not to think about it and solely focus on enjoying the pleasant and euphoric workout experience.

Very euphoric combination and hyperfocused. Sounds and colours on the trail were extremely enhanced.

4 hours later, when I came home, I was still buzzing. It goes without saying that immediately after I stepped down from my inline skates, and my (now drained) tongue barbell is removed, some hard-core teeth brushing is due.

And this is my 4 cents on Swim's most euphoric combination. It's my own experience, and my personal observations -- which I neither endorse nor oppose. I do however known my limits, and often reach them, without going beyond them.

meth_latex_catsuit_doll added 337 Minutes and 6 Seconds later...

And just repeated the same experience this evening. But at half the above dose. I also dropped 20mg of Ritan pills into my a half-gallon Gatorate in my Hydration Backpack.

After I skated 1 hour, and ran trough half of my Hydration backpack, it was a sign to return. I realized that it was too much for one day, as "I felt I lost power", and could literally feel every single hot sweat droplets pouring down on my shirt. The return, was made in 2+ hours with frequent and long stops on every single bus stop bench I could find.

One new thing I discovered this time, is to refrain from rolling my skates back and forth while seated at the bus bench, as the slightest vibrations in such relaxed and oversensitive state are greatly being amplified by the tight spandex shots rubbing against my legs and the steel chastity belt (and consequently triggering wild clanging by the attached Butt Plug's internal cavity that is filled with buckshot knocking against the prostate, which, would also trigger the penis to react -- and consequently activating the Ritalined-filled wand Intra-urethral ROA discharge mechanism to release tiny Rx on the glans.

Long story short, it would be very embarrassing to be the center of attention with "Ritalined-tinted Cum" flowing mysteriously down SWIMS sports pouch belt (which houses inside the Chasity belt steel penis protector prodding out of the spandex shorts hole. At all costs, I would avoid an unexpected orgasm whist unnecessarily occupying a bus stop seat on inline skates, a seat reserved for passengers. Not skaters. (even less a tweaked skater (in an altered state of mind) having sex and being hosed on skates!) 

Not that SWIM is not already attracting slight attention due to sweating pouring line rain down from it's eye-catching hardshell helmet... (due to a cool "T-100 Tunebug Shake" is mounted on the top surface of the helmet, turning it's entire surface into a surround speaker system, and splaying music across my cranium. That system is proved to be safe, as splayed music being fed by the iPod, doesn't interfere with ambient sound). Caution is advised, and proceed with caution. Not an experience to be attempted by rookies as the outcome can be very embarrassing.

So being conscious that SWIM is in a constant state at the edge of an orgasm, and over-stimulated, the best way is to be careful not to masturbate (or the thought of being presently hosed from all over -- not easy, but feasible). Swim is also aware to avoid sitting between the gap separating the bus seat wooden boards, as any attempt to sit down Butt Plugged other than with an even pressure surface, in the attempt the base of the butt plug can be awkwardly tilted in an uncomfortable position and/or hit the prostate, that will slowly bring an orgasm in the seconds to come -- and you can't do anything to stop it, but to feel it slowly coming into your way and take control of your body. (SWIM also remembers, that he is loaded with additional equipment weigh and tweaked on skates, (and to a certain also restricted) so any adjustment may not be as quick as with reflexes). So when skating to a seat, SWIM makes sure to aim for the center of the middle bench board. I initially trained myself more than a year ago in a huge parking lot. Got my leggings wet several times, but at least I was alone. It was very unpleasant experience to orgasm and stimulated on skates. Very unpleasant (and unsafe to a certain extend, as body control is momentarily being lost -- thus fully geared with protection equipment I was always skating around a post).

Easier said than done. Practice makes perfect. It's not easy. But fun part is to accomplish this challenge!

To conclude Swims "most euphoric combination experience" thread, I stess, two things:

- The tick to avoid any embarrassment is to be aware that SWIM is about to have sex on skates and be hosed hard from everywhere, both mind-hosed and body-hosed on wheels. So SOLELY focus on fully enjoying the skating euphoric experience, both on wheels and skating mind. Also be aware that you have lubricated wheels permanently locked under your feet. So the margin of error is not in your favor. You can't step down from the weeks - you go along where they take you. So SWIM always wears full protection equipment, with top quality skates and a harshell helmet.

- Be aware that SWIM has been fueled for unlimited endurance and immunized from any form of pain. In that state, SWIM's body isn't transmitting or feeling the slightest pain. So this is where any "power loss" must be interpreted as body pain telling you to immediately stop, find a place to sit, take a moderate break and hydrate. Failing to stop during a "power loss", may result in SWIM's not live to skate the next block. Or waking up in the ER in that state... It's not a good idea to do things your heart doesn't like, especially when it can't communicate any warning sings to you.

So this is my second and final part of SWIM's most euphoric experience, along with my own personal observations. I hope you enjoyed it.

Life is too precious and live long to experience it's beauties!

Be safe, play safe and SWIM will be around enjoying life to the edge!

milk milk lemonade
Jul 29, 2016
what in the loving gently caress, humankind

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

(aka Booty Bumping)

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.
Thank you

bird food bathtub
Aug 9, 2003

College Slice
I want to say that's fake.

No, really.

I want to say that. Please tell me that's fake. If you have to lie I don't care, just tell me that's fake.

Kawasaki Nun
Jul 16, 2001

by Reene
I think.about that post Everytime I see someone rollerblading

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

mlmp08 posted:

I ran about 5 miles last Friday and canceled my physical therapy and also I'm going to the gym tomorrow.

That's not a brag, it's a "goddamn motherfucking goddammit for fucks' sake loving physical therapy" post

Military PT sucks bad.

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones

Soulex posted:

Military sucks bad.

its curtains for Kevin
Nov 14, 2011

Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless
Getting paid to go to the pool owns


Why do a real mob when you can go to Kuwait



Re: schwarma I haven't tried the stuff at Ali, but the stuff at knb is great

tyler
Jun 2, 2014

loving pog.

its curtains for Kevin
Nov 14, 2011

Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless
It's me, I'm the one who got the better end of the deal in the army

Gonna go home and finish college for free and then get out too, courtesy of the advice in this thread



(I might go green to gold, but gently caress reenlisting)

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

mlmp08 posted:

This is a message about OPSEC to you from the Army (really, this is a real thing)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQZyHOXkoqU

e: lol at the comment from Jingle Jangle on Youtube:

Jingle Jangle1 week ago
Please sit on my face.

This video is better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hm29YlhOz8

It's literally goon.vid

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer
Holy poo poo :lol:

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009
please dont doxx me anymore tia

tyler
Jun 2, 2014

That guy is really good at computers.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

jfc thats incredible

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

you can cut all the art funding you want, but art will endure and force itself into the public no matter what

that video is proof

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJ1eS1GMdvA

e

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3FnomfxTkI

Syrian Lannister fucked around with this message at 06:13 on May 8, 2017

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014


No kidding, this guy is some support mos LTC.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFvBhVDwPvo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1tRlzu-8SQ

spacetoaster fucked around with this message at 14:06 on May 8, 2017

gwaarrk
Jun 17, 2008
A 19 year old kid I work with wants to join the army, he has taken the ASVAB twice so far. First score was a 30, second a 29. Hope you guys enjoy his dumb rear end as much as we do. Well after he takes it again and gets the minimum score.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde
i think if he fucks up the next time its a year or two wait to try again lol

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
Pffft I went through basic with several dudes with lower scores than that, just sit tight for a surge and the waivers will fly free.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

not caring here posted:

just sit tight for a surge and the waivers will fly free.

:bisonyes:

Soulex
Apr 1, 2009


Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Mustang
Jun 18, 2006

“We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”
God dammit, I get to have some west point cadet attached to my hip for a few weeks, including a week or two in Yakima. Dude's getting the floor of the stryker, not kicking my gunner out of sleeping on a bench for some cadet

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.
Mod challenge: give him your SA account and dictate drafts for him to post. Make him do an AMA.

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



Zeris posted:

Mod challenge: give him your SA account and dictate drafts for him to post. Make him do an AMA.

YESSS :getin:

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

please treat him like the silver spoon garbage he is

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

and remind him that having a tv in your room and getting laid are not privileges in regular college

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

basically just let him know that he has made terrible life decisions and isn't even old enough to drink yet

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

force him to read our experiences

did we ever do a butterbar thread or the like? we should do one, and we can make a txt doc for him to read about his future

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

maybe do it in a "So you threw away your life" kinda guidebook on what to expect vs what he could have been doing

bonus points if we make him quit (can he?)

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Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.
I know a lot of west pointers are idiot jackass entitled babies, but also a lot of west pointers are poor kids doing it for the free college and guaranteed job afterwards so idk

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