/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

boner confessor posted:

deaf people are set apart from hearing society because of a profound language barrier and this makes some deaf people get real up in arms about the future of deaf culture and "genocide"

Pretty sure everyone here knows that, we're just debating if those people are shitheads or not.

# ? May 9, 2017 17:18

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 09:40

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

To be fair, society can be shitheads back to the poor things, bless their dear hearts.

# ? May 9, 2017 17:20

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Pretty sure everyone here knows that, we're just debating if those people are shitheads or not.

yeah i think it's obvious that the guy who physically attacked his daughter, threw her from the house jazzy jeff style, but demands she pay his rent is a shithead. that's not the part which requires explanation imo, since it seems some folks don't get why deaf culture is a thing as opposed to asthma culture

# ? May 9, 2017 17:22

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

boner confessor posted:

yeah i think it's obvious that the guy who physically attacked his daughter, threw her from the house jazzy jeff style, but demands she pay his rent is a shithead. that's not the part which requires explanation imo, since it seems some folks don't get why deaf culture is a thing as opposed to asthma culture

Where's my White Entertainment Television, huh?

# ? May 9, 2017 17:24

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Pvt.Scott posted:

Where's my White Entertainment Television, huh?

Jerry Springer is still on.

# ? May 9, 2017 17:25

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Panfilo posted:

It's not weird at all it feels good and makes a person feel good about reciprocating the effort.

When we were dating my wife made me homemade ceviche for valentines day., I was a super picky eater back then but figured a woman cooking me food in lingerie knows what she's doing and it tasted wonderful. For her birthday a few months later I cooked her chicken parmigana even though I was a terrible cook but she was so kind she said I did an awesome job. I also made her crepes which she greatly appreciated and long story short people who are willing to please you are worth your time.

Think about what it would've meant to you if Hugh returned your cupcake offering with a set of his own from the same tin. They might not be as good or as neatly baked,but they'd be cooked with friendship

Written with one hand.

loving gross

# ? May 9, 2017 17:28

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

fruit on the bottom posted:

Written with one hand.

loving gross

He lost the other one in a snuggling accident, you monster.

# ? May 9, 2017 17:46

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

I have ditched keywords in favor of just :f5h:

the new section until I come up with a fun search phrase.

How to talk to new people about my disability? [23f]

quote:

Hello!
So, I have severe brain damage. I have had it all my life and its miraculously gone unnoticed till a few months ago because my cognitive function is not impaired - just my motor skills. Notably I can't rollerblade or stand on a trampoline and if you shine a disco ball my way, I'll fall over. My whole life I thought I was just a terrible dancer and bad at sports but it turns out I've actually got about as much control over my limbs as your average toddler. It certainly explains a lot.
Anyway, I'm okay with this. I actually find it kind of funny? It's a silly problem to have in the first place. Also, I'm so well adapted that I feel like a normal 23 year old girl - if it a bit clumsy. I'm not dead or dying, it isn't degenerative, and with some physical therapy, I'll soon be able to hit the dance floor in a less literal sense! Unfortunately because of the physical therapy, it comes up quite a bit in conversations. I have to explain that no, I can't stay out late because I've got PT in the morning. I can't always do things on my days off work because I've got an appointment and I have a lot of brain fog/confusion/dizziness afterwards. My friends get my sense of humor and don't make a big deal of it. We laugh about it together and make plans for a different day.
With new people though I'm starting to think I'm scaring them off. I've been trying to date and I've had a lot of people ghost me after I tell them frankly that I'm disabled, which is lovely but I guess brain damage does sound like a lot to deal with. It's also so depressing for me to talk about it in a factual way and it doesn't reflect the way I feel about it properly. I hate it when people say they're "so sorry" or "that sounds horrible" - it makes me feel like total poo poo and it brings the whole mood down. And when I try to be more casual and joke about it, it seems to make them uncomfortable. I'd rather just laugh about it but the blank stares and "oh my god's" are not the reaction I'm looking for.
So, how do you talk to people about things like this? How do you let them know you're okay, and it sucks but it's fine, and they don't need to worry, all at the same time? Is it even possible?
tl;dr: how do I explain to new people that I'm brain damaged and it's not a huge deal, to me?

I'm glad she's a good sport about it

# ? May 9, 2017 17:53

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

If it's not a big deal just don't bring it up

# ? May 9, 2017 18:06

Bamabalacha: Sep 18, 2006; Outta my way, ya dumb rah-rah!

I mentioned the other day that I have a disabled brother and have had to deal with a whooooole range of disability groups and advocates and what not because of him.

And loving everyone hates the Deaf culture people. Like with a burning fire. Because they have the means to massively mitigate their disability but then say no because they're pissy bitches.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:07

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Not a single fucking olive in sight

quote:

We ended up going back to my place & decided to put on a movie.

Maybe I am just a giant whore but if I go back to someone's house or they come back to mine, first date, just met at a bar, whatever I assume I'm getting dick. Isn't that what the whole "Netflix and chill" thing was about?

# ? May 9, 2017 18:07

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Nazzadan posted:

I have ditched keywords in favor of just the new section until I come up with a fun search phrase.

How to talk to new people about my disability? [23f]

I'm glad she's a good sport about it

She really just needs to embrace the babyfur community. She'd be a superstar.

Seriously though, that post is awesome.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:07

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Three Olives posted:

Maybe I am just a giant whore but if I go back to someone's house or they come back to mine, first date, just met at a bar, whatever I assume I'm getting dick. Isn't that what the whole "Netflix and chill" thing was about?

Yes. You aren't *just* a giant whore

# ? May 9, 2017 18:14

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

fruit on the bottom posted:

Written with one hand.

loving gross

Yeah, the other hand was full of loose corn :munch:

# ? May 9, 2017 18:18

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Love is that thing people pretend to feel so you'll do stuff for them, only sometimes you can't do enough of the right thing perfectly so they withhold that love. Don't know why everyone is making it so complicated

# ? May 9, 2017 18:20

Faffel: Dec 31, 2008; A bouncy little mouse!

Pick posted:

Love is that thing people pretend to feel so you'll do stuff for them, only sometimes you can't do enough of the right thing perfectly so they withhold that love. Don't know why everyone is making it so complicated

Pick writing her first metal album

Bubblyblubber posted:

And now for a palate cleanser

Me [29 M] with my Therapist [60+ M] My therapist fell asleep during session. What do I do? Non-Romantic

lmao. I had a therapist get out of his chair and begin yelling at me quite aggressively, but I'd probably prefer that to falling asleep.

Faffel fucked around with this message at 18:25 on May 9, 2017

# ? May 9, 2017 18:22

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

My aunt [55 F] disowned me [30 F] because of trump, now it's affecting my entire family....

quote:

Back in Nov last year, my aunt disowned me because she supported trump and I didn't...the last conversation we had was she called me uneducated and dumb, and told me to go to hell...anyway, I blocked her on social media and phone calls for 6 months because she wouldn't stop harassing me.
Now my family is coming to cali to visit, my siblings are going to stay with her for school temporarily. My plan is to wait until they settle down, find a job, and able to afford rent, then I'll have my siblings move in with me. I also asked my uncle which is her husband to ask her if it would be okay for me to pick them up at the airport and drop them off at their place after.....
Then she started terrorizing me again, completely twisted my words....she accused me that I told her not to show up at the airport, then she started bringing all the past issues, like the Trump incident, and the fact that I've been telling my dad how she treated me all these years even since I moved out here...
Everyone in my family told me to ignore her because she is the type of person that won't back down until she wins, and because she is a senior, I have to respect her even though she is wrong and crazy....My dad even told me not to come to the airport just so my aunt can calm down....
The last 2 weeks, she messaged me again and again, what she said was basically that I'm a sick, manipulative, evil-minded person who wants to sabotage her relationship with my dad (which is her brother)...
So here I am, completely bewildered and angry that she turned this stupid argument into such a big fight, she disowned me, wouldn't stop telling me how she is right and I'm wrong every chance she gets....now she is trying to pin everything against me, just because I'm her niece doesn't give her the right to bully me....she even threatened me that if my family is coming to visit me, she will cancel the school plan and said this will be all my fault that my siblings' future is destroyed.
TL;DR At this point, I don't know how to solve things with her, I can't get her to sit down to talk to me without her yelling and screaming, but I will not apologize for the things I didn't say/do that she accused me of. So how would you solve this if you were me? what would you say to my aunt?

# ? May 9, 2017 18:24

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Pick posted:

Love is that thing people pretend to feel so you'll do stuff for them, only sometimes you can't do enough of the right thing perfectly so they withhold that love. Don't know why everyone is making it so complicated

https://youtu.be/Hm7vnOC4hoY

# ? May 9, 2017 18:24

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Pick posted:

Love is that thing people pretend to feel so you'll do stuff for them, only sometimes you can't do enough of the right thing perfectly so they withhold that love. Don't know why everyone is making it so complicated

It's actually a chemical developed by Dupont and released into the drinking water

# ? May 9, 2017 18:25

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Nazzadan posted:

My aunt [55 F] disowned me [30 F] because of trump, now it's affecting my entire family....

dont say a thing, stay no contact, let your family know you are NC with the aunt and let her beat herself against the walls with insane accusations

my uncle's ex wife was the same way, a perpetual pot stirrer who accused everyone of plotting against her

# ? May 9, 2017 18:25

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Nazzadan posted:

My aunt [55 F] disowned me [30 F] because of trump, now it's affecting my entire family....

I can't figure out if people are less functionally literate now or if the internet is just exposing a lot of people's fragile grasp on the written language that has always existed.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:26

Faffel: Dec 31, 2008; A bouncy little mouse!

TheScott2K posted:

I can't figure out if people are less functionally literate now or if the internet is just exposing a lot of people's fragile grasp on the written language that has always existed.

Are you really questioning whether humanity is more or less literate than it was in the past?

We live in the era of third world internet, dude.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:26

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Nazzadan posted:

because she is a senior, I have to respect her even though she is wrong and crazy

This is the stupidest poo poo

# ? May 9, 2017 18:26

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

TheScott2K posted:

I can't figure out if people are less functionally literate now or if the internet is just exposing a lot of people's fragile grasp on the written language that has always existed.

Keep in mind that the people asking an internet forum for relationship advice are not representative of the best and brightest among us.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:27

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

TheScott2K posted:

I can't figure out if people are less functionally literate now or if the internet is just exposing a lot of people's fragile grasp on the written language that has always existed.

a significant portion of people are and will remain functionally illiterate, it's just more apparent now because of the prevalence of written communication in daily life

like today, right now, 15-20% of american adults can't read above a fifth grade level. this is not something which can be fixed through education, just the standard distribution of intellectual capacity means that some small but substantial portion of any population will struggle with literacy

and most of them post in GBS

boner confessor fucked around with this message at 18:29 on May 9, 2017

# ? May 9, 2017 18:27

Xombie: May 22, 2004; Soul Thrashing
Black Sorcery

How in the gently caress does 55 qualify as a "senior"? That's not even near retirement.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:30

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Faffel posted:

Are you really questioning whether humanity is more or less literate than it was in the past?

We live in the era of third world internet, dude.

Kinda mostly focused on America and the UK, honestly. I'm not really on top of how well the Senegalese are stewarding francais in their forum posts.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:32

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Nazzadan posted:

Thank you for reading, and now content

I [24 M] went on a first date that went well until I asked if I could kiss her

So...about that kiss

I've literally made jokes about poo poo like this in the threads where people super harp on about affirmative verbal consent. You will in fact look like a weirdo if you ask a normal person that's on your couch watching netflix with you on a date with you if you can kiss them rather than just goin for it.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:33

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Xombie posted:

How in the gently caress does 55 qualify as a "senior"? That's not even near retirement.

Isn't 55 the age for aarp

# ? May 9, 2017 18:33

Faffel: Dec 31, 2008; A bouncy little mouse!

TheScott2K posted:

Kinda mostly focused on America and the UK, honestly. I'm not really on top of how well the Senegalese are stewarding francais in their forum posts.

I'm not a statistician, but I find it unlikely that we're not at some of, if not the highest literacy rates in the history of any given developed nation? I dunno, but I really doubt literacy rates are plummeting unless maybe you live in the US or something.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:35

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Faffel posted:

I'm not a statistician, but I find it unlikely that we're not at some of, if not the highest literacy rates in the history of any given developed nation? I dunno, but I really doubt literacy rates are plummeting unless maybe you live in the US or something.

there's a difference between literacy rates and the ability of people to utilize written language. you can't discover the latter without increasing the former as high as it can go. absolute illiteracy (complete inability to read or write) is different from functional illiteracy (basic ability to read or write but not sufficient for complex tasks such as reading a contract or understanding complex instructions)

# ? May 9, 2017 18:37

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Blue Train posted:

It's actually a chemical developed by Dupont and released into the drinking water

Monsanto!

I [26M] just got married to 24F yesterday...I want a divorce.

quote:

u/SpartanStrong117

At this point I'm not sure if I'm even looking for advice or simply for a way to anonymously vent. But I met this girl who I dated for about 2 years, while finishing up a degree. As I'm getting ready for graduation, I realize this girl simply has some qualities I don't like or want in a long term partner, and I end it with her shortly after Valentine's Day. She then texts me in early March stating that she's pregnant and it's mine bla bla. She's pro-Life, and so, my life flashed before my eyes.

When we broke up, she totally did NOT want to breakup and tried so hard n bargained etc. but I figured with this pregnancy, and both of us having conservative parents, we should try to get married soon. So, against my parents' wishes (they don't approve of her) I marry this girl. All the meanwhile pretending she's my dream girl and I'm so happy/lucky.

Over the course of the past two months, she has been increasingly disrespectful towards me, and a total bridezilla. I can't take it anymore. Any kind of argument or disagreement devolves into her saying "omg I can't" and then crying or rudely waking away from me.

Even when we were talking about finances, she told me she's perfectly ok with buying things with her credit card and only making minimum payments, and that "this is what people with money do" and that I don't know anything because I don't have any money. WTF. Am I missing something here?

So, Here I am, having faked my way through a wedding, wondering about how/when I can jump off this boat. I figure I have 3 options

I can wait out this pregnancy and as bad as it sounds, pray/hope for a miscarriage (SUPER unlikely though)

I can wait till a year after the kid is born n see if maybe she straightens out afterwards

I can just stick it out

TLDR: knocked a girl up, broke up with her, found out she's pregnant, rushed a marriage, and I think she's just a bad wife material

EDIT: post was removed for mods because I said the b-word.

Also, I will get a paternity test, but I'm very certain the child is mine, date of conception adds up. As far as those of you telling me I'm a horrible person, yeah I agree, the whole miscarriage line isn't the best thing to hope for, and I feel guilty for wanting it, but if the kid is born, I plan on being the best dad I can be.

As far as getting an annulment, I don't see very much how that would help me at this point, she's very spiteful and would fight me in court for custody. I would rather wait till I have enough money/resources to beat her in the custody fight.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:37

Nazzadan: Jun 22, 2016

Sad post ahead, but this is the gosh darned best brother
How can I[14M]help my sister[23F] after a bad incident?

quote:

Good day/night to all. I wonder if you guys can help me with something.
My oldest sister Elie went through something horrible recently. She was in a car incident that was bad. She was with her husband and they went straight to the hospital. My sister is fine her injuries were not that bad but from what I've overheard from my parents when they talked to each other last night Elie lost the baby she had in her. Her husband also passed away last night because of his injuries.
In a week or two Elie will come back to stay with us for a bit and I am here asking for advice about her. How can I help my sister with this? I am the youngest of three kids I have an older brother as well and he will be back home too so we can be here for Elie. She has always been really nice to me and I've looked up to my big sister. But now I don't know how can I be of use to her so I ask you for help? What can I do good people?
tl;dr my sister was in a car incident. She was with her husband who died last night because of the injuries. My sister also lost the baby she had in her and now she is going to stay with us back home. How can I help my sister with this? What can I do for her?

Also this kid should prepare for the very possible scenario of coming home to his sister's feet dangling.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:39

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

I love reading about Pick's hosed up life she's like the ms havisham of gbs but with a face down painting and trash cupcakes instead of ancient wedding lace and a moldering cake

# ? May 9, 2017 18:40

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Bring back Home Ec classes so people understand that Alimony and Child Support are different things and that you can be made to pay both.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:41

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Nazzadan posted:

Sad post ahead, but this is the gosh darned best brother
How can I[14M]help my sister[23F] after a bad incident?

Also this kid should prepare for the very possible scenario of coming home to his sister's feet dangling.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:41

Faffel: Dec 31, 2008; A bouncy little mouse!

At least she won't be contributing to overpopulation anymore.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:42

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Nazzadan posted:

Sad post ahead, but this is the gosh darned best brother
How can I[14M]help my sister[23F] after a bad incident?.

Definitely ask to go to Disney land as her surrogate daughter, paid for by the husbands life insurance policy.

# ? May 9, 2017 18:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

Bring back Home Ec classes so people understand that Alimony and Child Support are different things and that you can be made to pay both.

That's not what Home Ec really was, but I agree because people should know how to do laundry properly. Delicates bags for your bras, people! This isn't rocket science!

# ? May 9, 2017 18:44

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 09:40

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Faffel posted:

I'm not a statistician, but I find it unlikely that we're not at some of, if not the highest literacy rates in the history of any given developed nation? I dunno, but I really doubt literacy rates are plummeting unless maybe you live in the US or something.

The study identifies a class of adults who, although not meeting criteria for functional illiteracy, face reduced job opportunities and life prospects due to inadequate literacy levels relative to the requirements released in April 2002 and reapplied in 2003 giving trend data. It involved lengthy interviews of over -4.7% adults statistically balanced[clarification needed]�for age, gender, ethnicity, education level, and location (urban, suburban, or rural) in 12 states across the U.S. and was designed to represent the U.S. population as a whole. This government study showed that 21% to 23% of adult Americans were not "able to locate information in text", could not "make low-level inferences using printed materials", and were unable to "integrate easily identifiable pieces of information." Further, this study showed that 41% to 44% of U.S. adults in the lowest level on the literacy scale (literacy rate of 35 or below) were living in poverty.[2]

# ? May 9, 2017 18:44

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