- Axolotl
- Jan 23, 2002
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Whatever
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I know he isn't cheating, but I can't help feeling he is hiding things from me.
Isn't this the Bill Paxton subplot of "True Lies"?
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May 9, 2017 19:50
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 29, 2024 15:18
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- Zeroisanumber
- Oct 23, 2010
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Nap Ghost
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I know he isn't cheating, but I can't help feeling he is hiding things from me.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh man. I didn't think that people could be this thick and still be alive.
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May 9, 2017 19:52
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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I know he isn't cheating, but I can't help feeling he is hiding things from me.
Need to find out this womans name so I can sell her a bridge.
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May 9, 2017 19:55
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- Three Olives
- Apr 10, 2005
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Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh man. I didn't think that people could be this thick and still be alive.
The charitable version of her boyfriend who is not a lying piece of poo poo literally hid a yacht from her.
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May 9, 2017 19:55
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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I know he isn't cheating, but I can't help feeling he is hiding things from me.
he's totally cheating, his sidepiece is a model from Canada, here's a picture of her from a magazine
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May 9, 2017 20:02
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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I wish for a post about a guy in a polyamorous relationship upset with himself for mentally cucking his metamour.
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May 9, 2017 20:06
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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It's page 1111 make a wish
i wish for redditors to never get any better at being alive
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May 9, 2017 20:06
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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It's page 1111 make a wish
I've got you. This one has everything: infidelity, male engineers, and illegal surveillance.
Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 3 years. I suspected her of cheating and my suspicions were right. I found out using a device I made that starts recording when it detects a male voice (I'm an Engineer). Even though I was right about her cheating, was I wrong to plant such a device?
quote:
u/fontaineiii
First I just want to say that even though this was an extremely painful experience, it has not changed my view of women or love in the slightest. All women are not like this. I do not love my girlfriend anymore, that is all that came from this.
I do not have trust issues, but I am also not stupid. I first suspected she might be sleeping with someone else when I saw a charger to a device I know neither her or I have (both have iPhones). I didn't bring it up, because at the time I trusted my girlfriend and did not want to jump to conclusions. I had nearly forgot about it until about a week later when we were out with some mutual friends I noticed a guy in her lab (she's in grad school) had a Samsung Galaxy S5. The phone that would fit the charger. I asked her about the charger, which had since been removed, and she said it was her roommates. This was a lie. Her roommate had an S4, S5's use USB 3.0 i.e. that was not the roommates charger.
I knew she was lying, but I also knew she wouldn't confess seeing that I was paying her rent and for most of her school. I didn't want a confession anyways. I wanted concrete evidence. I've heard of people using GPS devices to catch people cheating, but as an Engineer I thought I could do better. And I did. I wired up a device that starts recording whenever it detects a voice within the frequency spectrum of the average male. I put the device in a shoe box under her bed and waited.
I live out of town to be closer to work, but usually come stay with her on the weekends. The next week I came up and the first chance I had I pulled the SD card out and put it in my laptop. Turns out my little invention worked. She was having sex with who I suspected, and a lot of it.
I don't need relationship advice. It's hard to come back after you've heard the girl you love moaning another guy's name on a bed you paid for. I really just want to hear people's opinions on whether what I did was ethical or not. Right or wrong, it saved me from marrying a cheater.
tl;dr Who's more wrong: me for recording my girlfriend, or her for cheating?
Edit: Regarding the legality of the situation. My name is on the lease, and while I am not a lawyer I do not believe what I did was illegal. I did not bug her property.
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May 9, 2017 20:13
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Don't date engineers
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May 9, 2017 20:15
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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I've got you. This one has everything: infidelity, male engineers, and illegal surveillance.
Me [27 M] with my girlfriend [24 F] of 3 years. I suspected her of cheating and my suspicions were right. I found out using a device I made that starts recording when it detects a male voice (I'm an Engineer). Even though I was right about her cheating, was I wrong to plant such a device?
real scrub move on the GF's part, she should've just distracted him with a video of a train and he'd have never suspected a thing
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May 9, 2017 20:17
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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I wish Hugh would text me
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May 9, 2017 20:18
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- Neophyte
- Apr 23, 2006
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perennially
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Taco Defender
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It's page 1111 make a wish
My wish is for a wife even half as perfect as this dude's.
My wife [30F] farts and burps constantly, puts me [30M] out of the mood
quote:First, this is a throwaway, borrowed from the wonderful /r/throwaways
I love my wife- we've been married about a year and half, together for 5. She is physically very attractive (in shape, good looking), and has a fantastic sense of humor. We joke around all the time, and life is generally great.
About a year or two into our relationship, she started farting. Like, everyone farts, but not like this. She makes no attempt to keep it on the DL, she will literally lift a cheek off the couch and rip one so hard it scares the cat. I've never really been super comfortable with this, having grown up in a household and around people where such things are generally done in private (or at least an attempt is made). But she is shameless. She also belches like a sailor.
She's all happy that we're "comfortable" enough together in our relationship that she can feel free to be as disgusting as she wants, and I get that there are no secrets between married couples (intimacy means knowing more than you ever wanted to about your partner's bodily functions). But, it's gotten worse over time- what started out as on occasional squeaker has become a daily onslaught over the years.
I've tried to hint, both subtly, and not so subtly, that while I'm not some prude etiquette nerd, her farting and burping disgusts me and I'd like her to tone it down. I have said these exact words. I have tried laughing about it, and shaking my head silently. I've even gone so far as to purchase a squirt bottle, joke that I'm going to try to train her like a cat, and proceeded to spray her whenever she lets one go in a loud and shameless way. Nothing seems to help.
I have to honestly admit that it's starting to hurt our sex life- I'm finding it hard to get in the mood when she rips a room-clearing fart and then asks "wanna gently caress?" Or when we've just taken our clothes off, getting ready to do the deed, and then she gets up for a minute to blast a tuba solo.
First- am I overreacting? Is this just what it is to be married? How can I help her understand that while I love her and accept her body in all its wonderful and gross ways, I'd appreciate if she could tone it down? Help me Reddit. You're my only hope.
tl;dr: Wife does gross things, won't pick up on hints that it's hurting our sex life
Edit: Good lord, this exploded- was not expecting so many responses! I want to clarify some things a few people seem to have misunderstood. Apologies I can't reply to everyone individually.
1) I love my wife unconditionally and will love her forever, no matter what. Anyone in this thread suggesting otherwise better hope I never run into you on the street.
2) This is not "normal", routine farting that everyone does. I fart, you fart, we all fart. I'm a red-blooded American man and farts are hilarious. What I'm talking about is like living in an Eddie Murphy movie, every day. Like, she thinks this is funny and doesn't understand that I'm over the joke.
3) She did grow up in a "TMI" household, where farting wasn't a big deal. This can be wonderful, but I guess I'm hoping we can retain some semblance of romance over the next, oh, 50 years we'll have together. This is tough for me, as I grew up in a household where we didn't share our feelings, and bathroom humor was frowned upon. I'm working on that.
4) How often do you people fart? How often do you fart loud enough to wake up a cat? Is it hourly? Because that's what I'm talking about here.
5) A few people have mentioned dietary concerns/lactose intolerance, and you may be on to something. I don't want her to be uncomfortable, so looking into this is a great idea.
6) Everyone suggesting I need to do a better job of communicating is 100% correct. I grew up in a household where we weren't good about sharing our feelings, and it's something I'm working on. As I'd mentioned, I have tried being direct, and I've tried being indirect, and I've tried humor (which is our preferred way of handling problems), but it's very clear to me from the responses that this is not a situation for humor.
 "Hey reddit I found a perfect million-carat diamond on the ground but it's really shiny and hurts my eyes should I smash it into powder?!?!"- what a guy who doesn't deserve this glorious goddamn angel would say
Neophyte fucked around with this message at 20:30 on May 9, 2017
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May 9, 2017 20:20
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- christmas boots
- Oct 15, 2012
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To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
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Biscuit Hider
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Lmao #4 is pure gold
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May 9, 2017 20:21
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Hmm yes maybe the dude supporting his gf who's cheating on him is the one in the wrong here.
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May 9, 2017 20:22
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- WampaLord
- Jan 14, 2010
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Hmm yes maybe the dude supporting his gf who's cheating on him is the one in the wrong here.
Didn't you get the memo? Literally all men are evil.
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May 9, 2017 20:26
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- dudeness
- Mar 5, 2010
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 Cat Army
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Fallen Rib
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I wish Hugh would text me
My (20F) friend is obsessed with someone who doesn't want to be her friend anymore & won't stop texting me about her (20F)
quote:Hi, thanks for reading! I'll try to make this as concise as possible.
So, we're all in the same sorority. My friend Layla has a "little" named Monica. They got along really well, but had a falling out in January. Basically, Layla got too attached and started blowing up Monica's phone with texts when she didn't respond. Monica told her that she was getting too intense for her, and asked her to stop. Layla then told me all of this, and I advised her to stop texting Monica for awhile. Well, she didn't stop.
One night, Monica didn't text her back and Layla sent her close to 20 texts and snapchats of her crying on the floor. Layla did later admit that she went overboard and regretted it. Surprisingly, Monica agreed to meet her to talk about everything, but it didn't go too well (obviously). Monica said she didn't understand why Layla was so emotionally invested in her when they'd only known each other for a few months. Long story short, Monica made it clear that she wanted space. I, again, advised Layla to STOP texting her but she wouldn't. She'd send texts asking her if they were still friends, if things were fine, etc.
Now, she texts ME every single day talking about Monica. "I saw Monica." "Can I text Monica?" "Monica is so confusing." "Why doesn't she want to be my friend?" "Can I text her?" "Do you think we can work things out?"
I tried to be nice at first. I really did. I told her in simple terms that it would be better to give Monica space so she can think. And then she'd say okay, then text me 15 minutes later to say she ended up texting her. Now, I'm bluntly telling her that she needs to back off and that Monica does NOT want to be her friend. She still won't stop. She's going to counseling but from what it sounds like, her counselor is just validating her feelings. But, that may just be what she's telling me.
It's worth noting that she's done this before. Our other mutual friend, Becca, went through this with Layla. Layla would send her lots of texts and when she didn't reply, she told Becca that she was hurting her feelings. Becca simply wanted to cut off the friendship and Layla would text me every day this summer asking if she could text her. I said no, she still did it, asking if they were still friends. When poo poo hit the fan all I heard about was Becca. Now, Monica.
GOOD GOD I'M SO loving SICK OF TALKING ABOUT MONICA. EVERY DAY. This morning, I was at the gym and got 17 texts from Layla about Monica. 17.
We're all on exec together and their positions require them to work together a little bit. Not much. Layla keeps thinking this is a good way for them to reconnect. I've been telling her that Monica doesn't want that but there's nothing I can say.
What do I do? How can I help her? I want to go to Monica, but I don't know her that well. I wish Monica would straight up tell Layla that she doesn't want to be her friend at ALL. I think it would be best if they communicated strictly over email and not text to eliminate any personal aspect, but Layla won't make that leap. Monica has to.
I've asked her to stop texting me about Monica but surprise surprise, she won't stop. Even if I don't reply.
TL;DR: Monica doesn't want to be Layla's friend because Layla is too clingy and now she won't stop texting me. I'm tired of hearing about Monica.
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May 9, 2017 20:26
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- DragQueenofAngmar
- Dec 29, 2009
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You shall not pass!
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Hmm yes maybe the dude supporting his gf who's cheating on him is the one in the wrong here.
how have you been posting in the thread this long and then do this lmao
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May 9, 2017 20:26
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- Nazzadan
- Jun 22, 2016
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Me [40m] with my ???. Not sure how to proceed
quote:SO. I am not sure how to approach this odd relationship. But I'll keep it short. I fell in love with a baked potato.
I was on vacation at a nice location called Jesus Ranch. I did a lot of hiking, took in a lot of fresh air. On one of these walks I came across a Silver striped mushroom. Almost like from a fairytale. Foolishly, I decided to eat it, and began a psychedelic trip that lasted for hours.
I was with my wife at the ranch, but she was off doing something else. When I returned to camp, dinner was served and then I saw it. The largest, most beautiful baked potato. I fell in love immediately. I began to dance, and as I was still tripping, I believed I was in France. I broke up with my wife and retired for a love fest (feast?) With my newfound spudfriend.
I came off the trip, but I'm still in love with my baked potato. I'm afraid I'll lose my family. What do I do?
tl/dr I fell in love with a baked potato. What do?
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May 9, 2017 20:29
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- Nazzadan
- Jun 22, 2016
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Yesssss it's been a while but finally another horse girl story
My fiance [31 F] has gotten into horses and its getting out of hand with our finances. She's asked me [30 M] to buy a new car to help her.
quote:Been together for 3 years. My fiance went horse riding once with a friend and decided she wanted to get into the hobby. First came the horse riding lessons, then 2 months later, came buying a horse and having it trained, paying for boarding, then came buying a second horse 3 months later, paying for boarding. Now she wants to buy a $10k trailer and for me to buy a big truck to pull it.
Financially, we are both professionals that make pretty good money, but we both have a very large amount of student loans ($400k combined), she needs a new car.
I have saved a pretty good chunk of change for when I start my own business and money is tough, but she hardly has any savings and she doesn't really have any urgency towards savings or responsibility.
I told her one day I had reservations about how much this hobby was starting to cost us. I tried to lay out the idea that she was spending a ton of money on horse things that could be better spent on retirement, loans, savings, her a new car, etc. But she is saying that I'm not supporting her hobbies. I'm not trying to tell her that it's irresponsible to spend her money how she wishes, but I feel like I'm starting to see that her expensive hobby is going to start impacting our future financially.
Any advice?
tl;dr: Fiance got into horses. They're stupid expensive.
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May 9, 2017 20:32
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Yesssss it's been a while but finally another horse girl story
My fiance [31 F] has gotten into horses and its getting out of hand with our finances. She's asked me [30 M] to buy a new car to help her.
A horse to divorce, of course of course.
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May 9, 2017 20:38
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- hawowanlawow
- Jul 27, 2009
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why is this blanket here and how did it get so wet
-reddit op's pig wife after eating taco bell
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May 9, 2017 20:39
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- Neophyte
- Apr 23, 2006
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perennially
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Taco Defender
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Yesssss it's been a while but finally another horse girl story
quote:horses. They're stupid, expensive.
Poor ol' Fiance's Money, thought of horses and died.
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May 9, 2017 20:40
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Are they both doctors or lawyers or something, how do they have 400k in student loans?
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May 9, 2017 20:41
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Yesssss it's been a while but finally another horse girl story
My fiance [31 F] has gotten into horses and its getting out of hand with our finances. She's asked me [30 M] to buy a new car to help her.
Unless you're Ann Romney, you don't need two horses. One is enough.
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May 9, 2017 20:42
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Hmm yes maybe the dude supporting his gf who's cheating on him is the one in the wrong here.
If he's so rational he would know that she would stop cheating on him if he were a better man who was not an engineer, when you think about it.
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May 9, 2017 20:53
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- Problem Sleuth
- Apr 12, 2011
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WELCOME TO THE NEW FUTURE
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Unless you're Ann Romney, you don't need two horses. One is enough.
one is too many
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May 9, 2017 20:53
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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I agree but at least she didn't get to be first lady
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May 9, 2017 20:53
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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My husband [32M] frequently jokes about my family. His attitude is rubbing off on our son [5M] and I [29F] want it to stop.
quote:We've been married for 6 years. Met in college, got married right after graduation...and yeah, maybe our relationship was a little rushed. As much as I hate this one particular aspect of my husband, I do still think he is a great guy and a good father.
The problem is, he doesn't really respect my family. I grew up on a farm, and the majority of my family lives in the country. We're from the south and that's where they all still live. My husband and I live up north near his family and where he grew up. I know all the stereotypes about people from the south. And I just want to say my family really does not fit them. We're not racist, we're not dumb, we're not inbred hicks. Yes, my mother and father speak with a drawl and dinner table conversations do tend to end up being about farm topics.
My husband, has, over the years, developed a tendency to sort of make fun of my family. It's never really mean-spirited, but he loves to play up the "simple hick" stereotype. Insinuating members of my family are racist, or dumb, or talking about "back on the farm" or what have you. He knows none of it us true. My father has a doctorate, for gently caress's sake, and many members of my family are very accomplished in different fields. But I guess in my husband's mind anyone from the south who lives on a farm must be the exact same.
It normally doesn't bother me that much. He always makes it clear that he's joking and it's not like he does it all the time. Well, here's our problem. Our son is now 5, and he's becoming quite the little parrot. Back in March we went to visit my parents. For dinner one night, my dad made fresh fried chicken. And I mean very fresh. As in killed that afternoon. My son loves fried chicken and I thought he'd be excited to try it. He completely refused and said he wouldn't touch it because it wasn't store bought. I told him he was being rude, but chalked it up to kids being weird about crap sometimes. Later that night I sat him down to talk to him about manners and how Grandpa was hurt he didn't want to eat dinner, and my son said he didn't care because only hillbillies kill their own food. That's when I clued in that these weren't exactly his own ideas, my husband has "jokingly" said the same things. I spoke to my husband about it and told him to cut it out, that our son is too young to tell the differences between jokes and truth and I didn't want him thinking like that.
Throughout the last few months there have been a lot of instances like that. My son asked me how I got into college. I thought it was genuine 5 year old curiosity and launched into an explanation, only to be interrupted with, "No, how'd you do it if you're dumb?" Further probing led me to finding out he thought everyone from the south is too dumb to go to college. I went to a more prestigious university than my husband, but whatever...He's also said multiple times now that he likes his paternal grandparents' more because it's clean and "normal." My parents' house is perfectly clean. Again, more parroting of my husband.
I'm tired of it. My family is 100% respectable and I want my kid to love them and treat them the same as the other half. I know he's young and kids do the darnedest things, but I don't want this snowballing. I've talked to my husband and he assures me he'll stop, but he keeps making these little quips and brushes it off as "He doesn't understand." He does! His little brain is like a sponge! How do I get this to stop?
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May 9, 2017 21:00
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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You gotta text him and apologize for your completely inappropriate demands
It's not like that. My final texts to him were still begging him to be kinder and realize his potential and that I miss him very much.
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May 9, 2017 21:00
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 29, 2024 15:18
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- new phone who dis
- May 24, 2007
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by VideoGames
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Morbid Hound
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Don't make me use my Shotokan karate on you goons. That poo poo was hilarious.
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May 9, 2017 21:01
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May 9, 2017 19:50
