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shut up blegum posted:Lmao want to see them?
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May 9, 2017 15:51
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I'm not really sure how "I'm having trouble speaking to my employee because he paid a mean-style prostitute to send me pictures of his butthole" doesn't constitute "having a problem with the situation" in you guys' eyes really Like, anon said he wasn't planning on firing the guy, but if he really didn't have any issue with it he wouldn't have written in at all. I think he was just being a softie w/r/t firing people, which is understandable -- I said earlier I would be too -- but I work in an office too and I don't care what kind of deadlines your team has, poo poo like this is not an office dynamic you want.  also this is kind of burying the lede w/r/t "oops looks like HR is gone, no firing now" being a really lovely plot development that makes no goddamn sense also also if people are right and "are we going to have a problem" was a threat I think he could actually sue his company because that would stand in court as sexual harassment pretty easily
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May 9, 2017 15:58
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Yeah saying "HR is gone, nobody can be fired" is some loving wacky sitcom rear end "the judge sentences him to be my butler" poo poo. I don't think any of this really happened
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May 9, 2017 16:04
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If nobody can be fired because HR was fired then who the gently caress fired HR?purple death ray posted:Yeah saying "HR is gone, nobody can be fired" is some loving wacky sitcom rear end "the judge sentences him to be my butler" poo poo. I don't think any of this really happened 
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May 9, 2017 16:10
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purple death ray posted:Yeah saying "HR is gone, nobody can be fired" is some loving wacky sitcom rear end "the judge sentences him to be my butler" poo poo. I don't think any of this really happened Like the episode of Family Guy where Death sprains his ankle so no one can die until he heals?
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May 9, 2017 16:15
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ALFbrot posted:Hey, do you guys want to go down to The Crusty Swallow? I know it's a lovely old dive bar, but some guy just bought it and he uses fresh vegetables from his wildly successful plant nursery!!!!! Phil: Nah man, place sucks, let's just go to Wetherspoon's. Fred: Yeah man, Wetherspoon's has Curry Night tonight. Ann: Yeah, I like Wetherspoon's. Belphegor: I̹̻̝̻̻̻̖̘̮͘͜͡ͅ ̵̛͟҉̱̜̦̲̼̭̖͓̦̤F̵͟҉̬͇̹̖̱̬̘̥ͅǪ̷̶͕͇̭͉̣͍̱̻͔͙̹̻́Ŗ̴̼̻͓͔̳̺͠ ̕͏̢̟̫̝̘͚̮̱̰͚Ơ̡̬̙̰̦̞̣͓̣͢͟ͅN̡͖̣͎̯̗̥̦̯̠̮̘͝ͅͅE̛͈͔̠̰͈̻̯̦̥̱͎̘̞͍̲̖͕͟͞ ̡̡̛̣̜̹̦̬̰͓͢ͅL̮̠̺͈͕̮͍̻̭͔̲͎͙͟ͅI̶̤͕̻̰̬̱͕̹͘̕͞ͅḰ̭̗̬̰̺̻͖̮͖̬̮͖̻̯͕̪̕E̶̸̷̡̳͈͉͇̪̩̪̺͇͚͝ ̵͇̖̟͔̺̫͚̻͞ͅͅT̡̧҉̼̝͔͖̜̰̙͈̦͈͚H̡̝̳͉̲̲̲̞̯̞͖̞͈͓̗̘͟͜Ȩ͜͝҉̳͇̗̗̯ ̸̨̝̯̦̮ͅC͡͞҉͈̫͖͉͕̬Ŕ͏̴̨̤͕̥̼͉͉̻͈͚̳̺̻̼̝̹̖̣͓͍͢U҉̢̕͠҉͇͇̯̹̼̯̬͕̖Ş̤̹̰̕͠T̛̮̥̱͙̩̦̠̤͓̙͖͖̗̦̻͙̖̖̫͘Y̨̼͈͉̱̘̕͟͝ ̨҉̴͏̫̜͕̰̞ͅS҉̷͙̘̦̙͚̠̭̮̻̫͖ͅͅW̶̖̻͚̫̭͇̮̝͍̩̣͝À̵̧̡͇̼͎̩̖̩̟̘͡L̵̴̛͏̭̝̫͙͖̼̰̙̩̺͍͙̼̗̞͙͟Ĺ̡̛̖̩̳̥͔̫̝͔̤̮͉̮̱͡͡Ǫ̘̥̻̦̱͉̪̩̰̘̗̤̮́͢͝Ẉ̵̗̻͎̪͘,́̕͏̲̤͉̲͙̞̟̻̣̟͍̬̲ͅ ̸̧̪̤̗͓͔͙̭̝͚̺̪̹̣̬̕A̶̶̷̷̢͕̮̠̗͉̼̳͉̫͎̗̳̰̙ͅŃ̴͕̺̺̼͜D̸̛̥̰̮͕̤͍͇̹̯̩͚̰̘̤̝ ̢͈̰̖̠̹̭͎͔͙̼̝͕̠͔͕͙͔͇͡I̸̸̶̡͍̭̪̖̰̹̻͇̟͍̖̱͢ͅ ͍̼̺̬̥͎́́̕͞H̫̠͖͓́̕ͅU͏̴̯̠̦̗̬͕̦̥̼̯̦͚͇̬̣̩͖͇͟Ņ̛͢͏̶̣̤͔͓̰̲̠̗̳̫͎͕̫̥͓G̷̷̤̳̰͔̺̕͜E̵͍̠̯̪͘R̶̗̯̣̣̺͙̯̀͘ͅ ̸͏̛̱͇́ͅF҉̵̡͇̭̬̩̳͈͍̭̲͉͔̬̪̖́͢O̷̵̡̨̤̜̮̙R̸̨̝̻͚̺̹͖͍͈̳̣͍̻͇̩̣̮̱͕͝ ͝͡҉҉͔̙̙̺͉͓͔̰͓̠̦͉Ţ̭͕̼̺̰̫̠̱̱̜͘͡H̡̜̣̹͙̘͢E̛̜̥̞̦̭̭͇͔̪̻̖͓̥̯̥̤̕͟͡ ҉͚͙̣̻̰̣̻̱͕̮̟͎̤͢͜Ó̵̸̰͔̩͖̦̥̱͓̤̦̩͜͞ͅR̡͇̗͈̰̖͔̕G̨̱̤̞̱̝͔̲̩̹̪̼͚̟͙̘͘͜͠͞A҉͡͏͇̳͈͕͓̭̱̫͕̲̫͍̗̦̭̲͈̱ͅǸ̶̢͈̼̳̻͓͇̮̝̟̤̕I̢̠̳̫̺̰͕̻͍͈̫̗͈̩̯̫͡ͅC͏̪̻̼͕͔̰̳̣͍̥̙̝̦̻̹͖̼̀͞ ̶͏̸̨̛̻̞͈̩͎͙̟͓̟͕͎̩͙̰̱̳̯̯Q̛̛͈̗͇̜̹̰̫̘͘U̸̢̩̻̱̹̰͇̼̯̞̯̲̲̤̺͟I̵̴̴̧̪͇̳͎͖̣͈͍̜̦͇͢N̤̜̣̗̝̻͘͝Ò͖͇̦̯͎̼̠̰̗̱̩͇̺͈̱̼̩͟A̴̛̛̼͇̩̩̕͟ ̢̦͇̦́̕̕͜S̨҉̗̜̝̲̗͕̥͔ͅA̦̳̗̝̖̬̠̭͇̪̠̻̟͎͜͡L̴̸̢̯̜̻̤̺̗̦̪̺̀͡Á̸̛̘̠̟͇̟̲͓̦̺̼̻̝̥͇̲̮̀ͅD̴̴̦̙̞̙̘̻͎̤͕̫̥̱̬̕͞ ̬̬̜̪̞̤̗̳͖͎̘̼̦̻͢͡O̶͏̨̘͎̟͙̻͕͓̯͔̥͇̭̜F͏̸̤̘͇̩͔̙͉̤̫̹͍̫̲̪̣́͜͞ ̷͉̦̮͈͈͍̻͈̮̠̘̪̭͝Ţ̲͖̙̦͇͜H͏̦͚͙̥͍͈͉͖̬̦͎̣̬̞͍̻͎E̢̧̜̙̮̼̥͟͡ͅ ͎̰͎͉̦̲̺̯̳̠̀͘͟D̷̺͚̹̭̮̪̙͙̘͔̰͇̪͘͝͞A̺̪͉̹̙̝͍̘͢͠M̸̺͙͓̭̙͓̲N̛̜̝̣̯͎̯͈É̷̡̜͈͓̝̪͙̳͓͓̻̲̩͓̺̗̻͝ͅͅD҉͉̰̱̜̻͓̝̬̯͎̩͔̼͎̬͓͔͡ All: Uh...Crusty Swallow it is, then!
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May 9, 2017 16:21
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I think that confession is fake and the dudes just been jerking off into plant pots
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May 9, 2017 16:38
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rear end gaping Carl is a C-level exec for one of the top Fortune 100 companies. If he gets fired, the resulting fallout will send goods and services prices across the global economy to jump in price exponentially. gj op. thanks for giving the advice that led to the apocalypse. rear end. Best thing after a HRv2.0 response like that is to just say "it's cool, see ya tomorrow"... then leak the emails to all the local tv stations. Ex-HR bros will get the fallout for their prior jackassery, you lose your best Senior rear end Gaper III, and HRv2.0 gets thrown under a very deserving bus. You're welcome.
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May 9, 2017 18:33
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purple death ray posted:Yeah saying "HR is gone, nobody can be fired" is some loving wacky sitcom rear end "the judge sentences him to be my butler" poo poo. I don't think any of this really happened A gaping Buttler? That sounds like someone you really don't want to fetch your coffee.
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May 9, 2017 18:43
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purple death ray posted:Yeah saying "HR is gone, nobody can be fired" is some loving wacky sitcom rear end "the judge sentences him to be my butler" poo poo. well put armchairyoda posted:gj op. thanks for giving the advice that led to the apocalypse. rear end. All I ever wanted from life  quote:I recently realized I love my wife a lot more than she loves me. We've been married about 6 months and, shortly after getting married, I went through a pretty big health scare. I'm fine now but there was a period of time I was told I would die. I don't think she actually would have been happy her new husband died, dude. Like, you've been through a lot and you're allowing your insecurities to bring you to a premature conclusion. I'm sure it's fine. quote:I installed a hidden camera in the women's restroom at work. Nobody knows it's there yet, and it's been there for 4 days. I double check every night before I lock up. I mean you probably don't need someone to tell you this is super creepy, but this is super creepy, like baby-supervillain-level stuff
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May 9, 2017 19:00
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That first guy sounds like he definitely will not be able to resist holding that over her head whenever he wants to get his way until she actually does leave him. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also don't kid yourself. If she died early instead you wouldn't remain a celibate monk the rest of your life, so why is it somehow heartbreaking that she wouldn't if you had died? It doesn't mean she doesn't/didn't love you. yeah I eat ass fucked around with this message at 19:12 on May 9, 2017 |
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May 9, 2017 19:06
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Like most of these problems, the only solution is a long and drawn out divorce. Get a divorce insecure goon. It's what your wife would (does) want.
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May 9, 2017 19:11
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get a divorce and tell women your wife left you when she thought you were dying leaving you alone and you ended up pulling through
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May 9, 2017 19:15
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It just seems kinda selfish to be fresh off the honeymoon with your potentially soon-to-be-dead spouse and act like your dying husband should be sympathetic to the difficulties you'll be having getting back into the dating pool. "Yeah, you're possibly dying, but think of how much this is going to suck for me to find your replacement! Maybe we should open up the relationship so you can give the new guy some on-the-job training."
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May 9, 2017 19:20
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Axolotl posted:It just seems kinda selfish to be fresh off the honeymoon with your potentially soon-to-be-dead spouse and act like your dying husband should be sympathetic to the difficulties you'll be having getting back into the dating pool. It wasn't a sensitive thing of her to say, but she apologized and, remember, she was going through a lot too Fatal diseases are often harder on the dying etc etc etc, but your spouse having a fatal disease instead of you is still no cakewalk
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May 9, 2017 19:23
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Thats a really dumb way to look at it. Maybe it was insensitive to say but she clearly didn't mean it like that. Sometimes thoughts like that just come out. She apologized, you aren't dead, get over it or get divorced.
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May 9, 2017 19:24
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Maybe she meant it would be tough to date again because it would be so hard to find someone she loved as much?
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May 9, 2017 19:32
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Jose posted:want to see them? My brain says no but my heart says yes
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May 9, 2017 20:09
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Melvin posted:I installed a hidden camera in the women's restroom at work. Nobody knows it's there yet, and it's been there for 4 days. I double check every night before I lock up. Don't bogart that poo poo, share it! Upload it to YouPorn or whatever so we can all masturbate too! (Obviously I'm kidding. You are a super creep, please kill yourself.) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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May 9, 2017 21:11
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Gynovore posted:kill yourself 
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May 9, 2017 21:16
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shut up blegum posted:My brain says no but my heart says yes i'll keep them as links so you can choose whether to see but really i'm impressed at the angle the photo was taken
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May 9, 2017 21:18
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Jose posted:i'll keep them as links so you can choose whether to see but really i'm impressed at the angle the photo was taken Why did I click those links. Why did soleone send that you in the first place EDIT: wait, did you just trick me to look into your rear end in a top hat? 
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May 9, 2017 21:29
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Mummification goon: you could probably also find a kinky friend on FetLife to help you do this for free. No sex involved, so presumably your wife wouldn't care.
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May 9, 2017 21:29
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shut up blegum posted:Why did I click those links. Why did soleone send that you in the first place no i'd not do that to myself and the person who sent the pms didn't either lol
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May 9, 2017 21:31
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shut up blegum posted:EDIT: wait, did you just trick me to look into your rear end in a top hat? hey guys we want to party too 
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May 9, 2017 23:10
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loquacius posted:[Bathroom cam fesh] Boy oh boy, that confession is so good it's...criminal!!! But actually that's a crime. For the first time in this thread (not my life, I also follow the r/relationships thread) I'm actively hoping the fessor was jacking off while typing. Because, again, that's a crime. Bibliotechno Music fucked around with this message at 00:38 on May 10, 2017 |
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May 10, 2017 00:25
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loquacius posted:bathroom fresh I really enjoyed Johnnie B. Goode, Mr. Berry
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May 10, 2017 00:28
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quote:Sold Soul Goon
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May 10, 2017 01:26
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Jose posted:no i'd not do that to myself and the person who sent the pms didn't either lol You can't just hint at butthole pictures and not post them. I don't have another Greedo thread in me right now.
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May 10, 2017 02:06
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Guys if a butthole picture gets posted ITT I am going to fire this thread quote:My great grandma confessed something pretty hosed up this weekend. I'm hoping it's old person gibberish, since she is 90, but it sounded pretty coherent to me and she's never had mental issues before. yeah this one is yikesworthy yikes quote:My childhood pretty much sucked except for one thing. I was beat up at school, got bad grades, dad was a single dad and worked a lot and barely made end's meet, and my little brother had Downs' syndrome. But all 3 of us had one thing in common - we loved Back to the Future. It can't be that difficult to be a Michael J Fox impersonator
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May 10, 2017 02:30
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loquacius posted:and that he accidentally forget them in a gas station on a road trip. Jeez, folks, try to make these comedy feshes somewhere within a stone's throw of realistic.
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May 10, 2017 03:19
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loquacius posted:It can't be that difficult to be a Michael J Fox impersonator Would Michael K Fox be a funny name for a Michael J Fox impersonator?
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May 10, 2017 03:22
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May 10, 2017 03:29
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Michael J Faux
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May 10, 2017 05:46
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loquacius posted:It can't be that difficult to be a Michael J Fox impersonator It's definitely a shaky premise for a confession
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May 10, 2017 06:50
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loquacius posted:Guys if a butthole picture gets posted ITT I am going to fire this thread A storm drain? Well that's certainly a strange place to find them! Did they say where they'd been all that time?
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May 10, 2017 09:12
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Sucks your Cousins(?) got eaten by Pennywise, dude.
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May 10, 2017 09:42
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loquacius posted:I'm not really sure how "I'm having trouble speaking to my employee because he paid a mean-style prostitute to send me pictures of his butthole" doesn't constitute "having a problem with the situation" in you guys' eyes really A) make problems at work, piss of your boss suffer the consequences, get demoted or maybe fired sue the company, pit your financial and legal resources against theirs if you lose you'll be broke... on top of being unemployed too B) overcome mild awkwardness when talking with Carl hmmmm A or B....
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May 10, 2017 10:11
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Fool and the World posted:It's definitely a shaky premise for a confession He just needed somewhere to park his sons for a few hours.
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May 10, 2017 12:17
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Doctor Malaver posted:A) So did you write that confession or something because A) is as unlikely a scenario as "HR alllll got fired so now no one else can be" and B) just makes me wonder what kind of workplace dynamic you have "oh well, guess I'll just get sexually harassed," he sighed, leafing through twenty new butthole emails a day quote:I'm basically 99% normal and nobody passing me on the street would think I'm weird. My friends might think I'm a bit odd, but nothing out of the ordinary beyond some nerdiness and some fashion snob because I expect most people to dress well when they're out in public. I mean, yeah, that's a pretty weird process, dude, but you're kind of being dramatic about it "Everyone I pass on the street thinks I'm normal, but nobody knows my hidden secret: I jerk off weird" quote:Reluctant politics goon here again. I guess I should run as the cable-pirating, abduction-abetting hero we deserve. Ok, then don't do it  I dunno, there's saying you're worried everyone will find out you helped someone escape an abusive husband and then there's saying you don't actually want to run for office. If you don't want to, don't. All this stuff you told us, say that to the people trying to get you to run.
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May 10, 2017 12:54
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