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therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Pick posted:

He knew a French word…

How was Le Pigeon? And what does dinner there run? I have been meaning to try it.

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dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib
My [m26] gf [f23] of 5 months has a really limited sense of humor.

quote:

Paige is great. Love everything about her. The only thing that stands out in a possibly negative way is that she doesn't find almost anything funny.

Monty Python, 30 rock, Will Ferrell, Adam Sandler, Steve Carell, The Office, Big Bang Theory, Parks and Rec, Amy Schumer, Bill Burr, Louis CK, Steve Martin, Billy Crystal, Robin Williams, you name em' all. She doesn't find it/them funny.

Now I'm not saying she has no sense of humor. she laughs and makes jokes from time to time. It's just that she hates the things that I and everyone else find funny and the things she finds humorous are very limited.

She likes Shrek and animal videos. That's all I can think of. Oh and when her niece and nephew do cute kid stuff.

She never stops me from watching those things or enjoying them or anything. She just doesn't laugh or smile and I want to be more inclusive. People mention it and think she has no sense of humor and feel like she's being frosty.

Is this a problem? Is it a sign of deeper issues?

tl;dr: Gf doesn't find much stuff funny!

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Feb 28, 1985


I [28f] just found out my bf [39m) of 9 years is married

quote:

r/relationshipsInfidelity.

u/boyfriend_is_married

I obviously have a lot of processing to do. Questions: -do I tell the wife? How? -how do I break up with him? What do I tell him or not tell him? -advice?

I found evidence of marriage today. I got my locks changed and changed all my passwords. I talk to my therapist tomorrow.

Tl;dr I'm the unwitting mistress. Please don't call me an idiot in your reply. I've done enough of that to myself.

Coup de grâce:

quote:

boyfriend_is_married
1d
The marriage is over five years. He wasn't married when we started dating. So there's that...

Troposphere
Jul 11, 2005


psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

I [28f] just found out my bf [39m) of 9 years is married


Coup de grâce:

whaaaat

I must know more

big dyke energy
Jul 29, 2006

Football? Yaaaay

Pick posted:

He knew a French word…

Goddamnit Pick

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

I [28f] just found out my bf [39m) of 9 years is married


Coup de grâce:

She deserves no blame for this but how do you date someone for a decade without marriage being on the table? Certainly not her fault at all or anything I just dunno how it could happen.

Like she literally went 19 to 28 without a future in this relationship, that's nightmare fuel.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Feb 28, 1985


Troposphere posted:

whaaaat

I must know more


quote:

boyfriend_is_married
1d
There were signs all previously explainable as lovely and flawed. It was a long distance relationship. So 🙄 I'll make better decisions in the future. I mean, obviously there were signs, but it wasn't glaringly obvious until this year.


quote:

boyfriend_is_married

1d
I don't know the wife. Lots of internet digging. Found the marriage date and names on a website. Once I knew her name, found they were at same address. Found pics of them together


quote:


jetfuelmeltsronpaul



1d

So you guys were LDR for 9 years, and 4 years into that he fully married someone local to him?

Have you ever met? 9 years seems like a long LDR to me.

53

boyfriend_is_married

1d
I've met him. Not the wife. He spends half is time with me and half traveling for work or home.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 07:45 on May 13, 2017

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug
how is it that women can put up with that and not some generic 'nice guy' who's a bit of a doormat but will love them unconditionally.

Whorelord
May 1, 2013

Jump into the well...

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Weeeel.... saying "there is none", because you didn't even look for it, maybe the problem isn't a lack of culture?

Like I 100% hate London, but lack of culture / culturally interesting things to see is the least of it's overcrowded, chavved, congested, overrated, overpriced, high crime rated, elitist, 24/7 surveilled / rat race problems. I wish I could goggle at it like tourists do, but the grinding depression of actually living here won't hit them for a holiday duration, I guess.

I totally prefer the USA and envy you for getting out. But this place has culture, it's just buried in poo poo.

The UK is poo poo but let's not pretend that the USA isn't even worse lmao

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Feb 28, 1985


ArbitraryC posted:

how is it that women can put up with that and not some generic 'nice guy' who's a bit of a doormat but will love them unconditionally.

I guess nice guys sometimes aren't, might as well grab a hot one and hope :sun:

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 08:21 on May 13, 2017

big dyke energy
Jul 29, 2006

Football? Yaaaay
I will say, I have never understood, and will never understand, straight women and women with affection for men. It is Baffling.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Feb 28, 1985


Whorelord posted:

The UK is poo poo but let's not pretend that the USA isn't even worse lmao

I don't know, I mean, the bad there is spread out over a much bigger area, and you get better weather and fast food. But I like the diversity most.

--

This is retarded but it has people being threatened with a chainsaw in it.

My [23 F] boyfriend [25 M] and my cousin [21 M] don't get along.

quote:

Log in / Register

r/relationshipsNon-Romantic

u/christmasdinnrfiasco

Made a throwaway...yada yada yada. Okay here's the story.

This weekend my family is having a Christmas dinner and some of my cousins are coming in for the day. One of my cousins (Alex) has something against my boyfriend (Ron). Everytime they're around one another Alex threatens Ron (most recently with a chainsaw) and embarrasses him. In response Ron will yell at him and snap at him. Alex pouts and says 'I'm just joking.'.

My concern is how this Christmas dinner will go since this is the first Christmas dinner my boyfriend is able to come too. I'm unsure of how to keep them apart in the midst of 30 something people. What do I do?

tl;dr: Ron and Alex are like water and a grease fire. I need to keep them apart or else it'll be UFC in the Golden Corral.

EDIT: Apparently my brother [17 M] caught wind of this and told my cousin to zip his lip. He apologized to my boyfriend and to me. Alex said he didn't know that the jokes hurt and said that he'd keep things cool this weekend. fingers crossed



GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 08:39 on May 13, 2017

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

I guess nice guys sometimes aren't, might as well grab a hot one and hope :sun:

I know I know i just sometimes find it weird the internet is so hung up on the "pretends to be nice" strawman menace while completely ignoring that so many people don't even bother pretending. There are some decent doormats out there, men and women, just waiting for someone to appreciate them without taking advantage. It just feels so surreal to me that people can end up in these totally toxic relationships while passing by every opportunity to be with a boring person who just loves them.

new phone who dis
May 24, 2007

by VideoGames
Morbid Hound

ArbitraryC posted:

how is it that women can put up with that and not some generic 'nice guy' who's a bit of a doormat but will love them unconditionally.

Most do. The rest post on the internet.

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Feb 28, 1985


quote:

There are some decent doormats out there, men and women, just waiting for someone to appreciate them without taking advantage. It just feels so surreal to me that people can end up in these totally toxic relationships while passing by every opportunity to be with a boring person who just loves them.

Numerous cognitive bias weirds make relationship decision making (like staying away from someone bad or giving yourself an auto-arranged marriage to someone boring) less of an intelligent, rational thing then we might like.

gently caress I killed the thread. Sorry :(

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 09:42 on May 13, 2017

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Feb 28, 1985


[44F]. Daughter [18F] dating [50M], concern over age gap issues

quote:

r/relationshipsDating


u/raugg9ui

On 29th December, our daughter Claire (who's home from halls in uni) brought home her boyfriend to meet us.

She told us she'd been dating him since early November, and he's 50, and works in the local chip shop. She said he's unmarried, got no kids, and lives in a council house. He's also Asian/Indian, if that's relevant, a Christian, but not practising.

It obviously can't be for the money, given his job and where he lives. Claire said she liked him as he was gentle, funny and had similar tastes in music; she also found his car pretty cool -even though it was a clapped-out old E-reg Vauxhall Cavalier, not quite a rustbucket, but tatty enough as it were!

The meal went OK, we didn't act judgemental, but the age gap concerns us: he's 33 years older than her. He's also 4 years older than her dad!

She's told us he's her soulmate, and wants to marry him in 2 years time when she graduates uni and have his kids and doesn't care what others think. I think she's not really considered the reality of age-gaps; as for me, our age gap is 2 years, which is nothing, I guess, to some, anyway.

My husband likes him, but it doesn't put off our daughter, if anything, it makes her like her boyfriend even more!

Our daughter does have career ambitions, she wants to work in business, at managerial level or some job organizing conferences, or writing about management for business journalism, like Management Today, so she at least knows what she wants.

How do we handle this sensitively? We only want the best for our daughter.

Update: She actually told me "I'm in it for the long-haul, I want him to be the father to my future kids, what the gently caress if I'm with him as a mum on benefits after uni? I don't give a gently caress."

tl;dr: Age gap worries.

:aatrek:

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
2nd Battalion

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

[44F]. Daughter [18F] dating [50M], concern over age gap issues


:aatrek:

Youth is wasted on the young.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Boyfriend got married during relationship... to someone else

Im genuinely impressed that in this day and age someone pulled the train conductor two family trick, and managed to do it without ever having to marry or knock up both partners. Excellent time management and employee retention skills, would recommend for a promotion.

Related, do not do an LDR where there is no defined point where it ceases to be an LDR and make sure you know your partners actual legal name like that one lady from earlier.

BENGHAZI 2
Oct 13, 2007

by Cyrano4747

Barudak posted:


Related, do not do an LDR where there is no defined point where it ceases to be an LDR

Seconded

BENGHAZI 2
Oct 13, 2007

by Cyrano4747
For the guy who wanted the Satan poo poo plane story

I don't know how many of you will remember me, but I'm one who had this problem and this subsequent problem (which I at the time didn't realize was a problem). I am happy to say that this psycho bitch is no longer my girlfriend, and if things go as I want them to, no longer in my life at all. 
 Things were going really well, everything just fine and dandy, for over a month after I read her my heartfelt letter. Yet again, however, your comments were swirling in the back of my mind and it wasn't enough for me that this girl I shared a home with was smiling, bubbly, happy, back to 'normal', whatever -- because she never spoke about what she did. I didn't bring it up myself because I thought she would come to me and maybe even apologize about it when she was ready, but nope, she just hummed around the house like some sort of innocent princess. 
 Well, recently she was cooking dinner and I was just sitting at the table staring at her, thinking about everything and feeling my blood boil. I didn't understand how she could act this way, how she could just do something so deranged and then cover it up. And I realized with the way things were going, she was never going to acknowledge her behavior or take responsibility for her actions. So I finally said something, but I hid my rage by speaking slowly and calmly: "So what was that thing with you masturbating?" 
 I realized it was another pretend-she-didn't-hear-me moment for her as she just stood still for a while in silence, so I sighed and said something like "We'll just talk about it whenever you're comfortable." Apparently that set her off. She opened up the kitchen drawer to show me a photo of an actress that I apparently had complimented during a movie while screaming "You find her attractive? You find her attractive?" and pointing at her face. I started screaming over her "so what if I find her attractive" over and over until, yes, she got a knife. I immediately backed away in the sinking realization that she might actually be crazy enough to stab me, but she then pointed the knife at herself, or more specifically her vagina, and said she "didn't even need it" because I "don't appreciate it" and "no one has genitals in the afterlife". I didn't want to be around for it to escalate further so I booked out of there while she hurled insults at me. Right away I called her mom, since her parents live very closeby, but her mom didn't even let me finish explaining before she was screaming at me over the phone saying she "knew what I did" and that I was a "Satan shitplane" so I hung up and had to ignore her literally 37 calls afterward. 
 Long story short, all of my contact with this girl from now on will be through writing if I can control it. I'm staying with a friend now while this stuff gets sorted. I'm not really sure what my next step will be, but you guys deserve a thank you for all of your advice as well as an apology from me for not seeing the light sooner. Hopefully this will be the last time I update or even think about this chick and her hosed up family. Bye. 
 TLDR: Girlfriend is now ex-girlfriend due to insanity, and her mom is just as bad.

SpaceClown
Feb 13, 2016

by FactsAreUseless

dudeness posted:

My [m26] gf [f23] of 5 months has a really limited sense of humor.

Sounds like pick

DAD LOST MY IPOD
Feb 3, 2012

Fats Dominar is on the case


I am working on a bracket. It's about halfway done but I can always use more suggestions. Please include a link to the post. I'm broadly separating them into four categories:
1) people who are loving who they shouldn't be loving
2) insane levels of abuse
3) completely inappropriate behavior
4) bizarre quirks

hoping to have it up this week

Troposphere
Jul 11, 2005


psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

SpaceClown posted:

Sounds like pick

pick has a wonderful sense of humor actually! :)

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Troposphere posted:

pick has a wonderful sense of humor actually! :)

You're just saying that because you're in love with her.

Troposphere
Jul 11, 2005


psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

Batterypowered7 posted:

You're just saying that because you're in love with her.

who isn't :swoon:

Troposphere
Jul 11, 2005


psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?
yes I know, hugh

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie


Every man in Portland, apparently?

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
That isn't necessarily her fault.There are very few men left in Portland. Tons of people who self identity as male that wear beards and flannel shirts with skinny jeans, but very few men relative to the population. Half of those "guys" are busy complaining that they can't leave the house due to their crippling anxiety and the other half want an open relationship. They do like to cosplay as lumberjacks despite never having swung an axe though. If she is looking for a real man she should go to the Fish Grotto.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

therobit posted:

How was Le Pigeon? And what does dinner there run? I have been meaning to try it.

It's quite good, kind of cramped. Certainly beats most in Portland by a country mile. Reminded me a bit of Fleur de Lis in Vegas.

I really didn't think about him while I was there though ha ha. So that's a good endorsement.

Pick fucked around with this message at 17:21 on May 13, 2017

Mameluke
Aug 2, 2013

by Fluffdaddy
How many goons live in Portland and are any of you Fred Armisen

Tokyo Sexwale
Jul 30, 2003

my brief foray into Portland showed me that indeed, most of the dudes are probably terrible.

DAD LOST MY IPOD
Feb 3, 2012

Fats Dominar is on the case


ok so i've got a pretty good bracket going but i still need links to the following posts if anyone can remember where they are:
-the kid who stuck a hairbrush up a dog's butt
-the woman cheating with her dad
-the prankster who lost his sibling five figures
-the guy who sodomized his gf for giving him broccoli
-the poop freezer
-the guy who left his kid at wal mart
-the woman who wanted to wear a white dress at her son's wedding and kiss and dance with him
-the enema guy

NomChompsky
Sep 17, 2008

Pick posted:

It's quite good, kind of cramped. Certainly beats most in Portland by a country mile. Reminded me a bit of Fleur de Lis in Vegas.

I really didn't think about him while I was there though ha ha. So that's a good endorsement.

Get this: He didn't think about you while you were there. He isn't thinking about you now, either. He's thinking about his train collection or whatever weird thing he likes. Sherlock, maybe.

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

NomChompsky posted:

Get this: He didn't think about you while you were there. He isn't thinking about you now, either. He's thinking about his train collection or whatever weird thing he likes. Sherlock, maybe.

Probably sodomizing himself with a Big Ben scale replica.

dudeness
Mar 5, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
Fallen Rib

ArbitraryC posted:

how is it that women can put up with that and not some generic 'nice guy' who's a bit of a doormat but will love them unconditionally.

My [24 M] GF [22 F] believes some really weird stuff, I don't know if it's a deal-breaker or not.

quote:

Hi,
So me and my GF of almost 2 years, have a good thing going. She is awesome, enjoys (or can handle?) my quirks and generally a laid back cool person. The most amazing thing about her thou, is that, even if I try, I can't think of anything bad about about her. Sure, some minor annoyances now and then, but nothing major. Nothing!

Nothing but one issue. And as long as we weren't living together, this wasn't that bad. I just always saw it as a "different house, different rules" when being at her house, and adapt some stuff in my apartment so she would be more comfortably when sleeping over. Nothing major, but a few minor things: turn off the wifi, don't use certain brands of paint and I added some doors to an old cabinet. Also she "calibrated" a few things. I always thought, this is crazy, but if it makes her happy, so be it.

But now the "2 year mark" is approaching and I am asking myself how much future this relationship has. First impulse says "a lot" and I thought we should consider taking the relationship to the next level and consider moving in. Not instantaneously, but I would like to put it on the table for the near future.

Then it hit me: I know that she will not drop her beliefs of "radionics" for me. I do know, that she and her family (they are all really close) will insist that our shared household will be "radionic approved". So here is what they believe:

Radionics (or the local interpretation... it doesn't seem to be centralized) is based on the theory that everything and everybody sends of waves, which can have good or bad frequencies. How do you find out which frequencies something sends? You hold a pendulum over it, if it swings left it's "good", if it swings right it's "bad".

Notice that also the Earth has good and bad frequencies, so a certain position may also be good or bad (like a good place to sleep, for a bed)

so not only does the location of everything strategic have to be checked (bed, fridge, ....) but basically everything that is bought: building material such as paint, food, medicine, furniture, cloth.... basically there is a list of "good stuff" if it's not on there, it won't be bought.
because the original container is typically bad, everything is refilled into a new reusable container. Everything!

Also, regarding everything with electricity: Plugs have a good side, and a bad side (we live in a AC region, this is also decided by pendulum). Never plug in the bad side, but each electricity outlet and and each plug has to be marked accordingly. Also almost all waves send by electronics are bad (WiFi, electromagnetic, cell frequencies,as if they all were the same), so most of it get's plugged out for the night.


So.. I am an engineer, and it conflicts with a lot of what I do, believe in and have studied beginning with the very definition of waves and frequencies to the different sides of AC current. I am really indifferent if I should even suggest living with such a person and therefore questioning the whole relationship. Neither she nor her family are obnoxious about it and I am not the person who berates people, so the topic has been pretty neutral so far.

So in summary, she has some crazy beliefs (but isn't crazy herself), how much should I invest? I mean this emotionally and financially. I spend about a month rent to "adjust" my apartment, but if my TV, kitchen supplies and other stuff doesn't pass the pendulum test when moving in, I am going to be broke. And this one of the biggest issues where I can't just "let her do her thing", I will probably be expected to be paying my share of the new "good" stuff. Even then, not being able to allow a friend to charge his cell seems weird. And I would think it's going to be a real center of conflict.

tl;dr: My GF has some weird beliefs. Until now it didn't really matter that much. But considering future steps, I don't know if I should reconsider the relationship, when seriously wondering if I can continue to handle her believes (as they will start to affect my day to day life more!). Where is the line?

Edit: OK reddit, feel free to call her out. That believe is batshit crazy and I can take it if you say so. I encourage you to be polite, but you don't have to sugar coat it. But she is fine. Seriously, she isn't dumb (and neither is her family) and totally normal. Any of her friends would just called her "not a technical person" and it seems like she had really lovely physics teachers in school. Under any other circumstances, this wouldn't be weird for an English teacher. Also they are really good at hiding it, so nobody apart from me knows outside her family.

Edit 2: I feel the need to clarify. She (and the family) actually get symptoms when the rules are not obeyed. I'd say it's the nocebo effect, the headaches and sleep disorder are real nonetheless. However, I have observed, that she is less sensitive when she gets comfy.

Edit 3: Spelling. Sorry about my belieVs....

quote:

I also consider myself pragmatic, nerdy, analytically, ready to compromise and to adapt, all of which are stereotypical attributes of engineers, and the stereotypical engineers are not so popular with the opposite sex. I don't mean that in a bad way, I would have never considered myself an outsider and I always had friends, but I really would have liked more female attention now and then. I did have a couple of girlfriends, but probably less than many of my friends. Again, I don't say that to earn your sympathy, but to point out my assessment of how my situation is.

Because I have a girlfriend that is low maintenance, solution oriented, cheerful, gets along with my friends, shares some of my interests (we do a lot of them together), parties about as much as I do (as in not to much more or less), takes university equally serious, isn't jealous or clinches in any way - I can do my thing.

Also,she settled for the slightly overweight nerdy guy with glasses and (invisible) braces.

You see, I've found that. Most people don't get how I did, but I did it somehow. And I am happy, to me (for me?) she is almost perfect. Bonus: In every aspect (but one) she is better than every girl I ever dated before. Less drama, more common interests, faster solutions and compromises, ....

As an engineer, I can not grantee myself that breaking up would the lesser evil. There are (plausible) chances I will never a find that good fit again. You know that, mathematically, I should marry her?

Edit: (I won't marry anyone in the near future) Edit: Clarity

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Guy should dump this woman, but he should hold on long enough to explain more because I need some details on how this pendulum works.

Edit: Only an engineer would call a woman who uses a magic pendulum to determine which electrical sockets to use and has a list of forbidden consumer goods "low maintenance"

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Feb 28, 1985


DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

ok so i've got a pretty good bracket going but i still need links to the following posts if anyone can remember where they are:
-the kid who stuck a hairbrush up a dog's butt
-the woman cheating with her dad
-the prankster who lost his sibling five figures
-the guy who sodomized his gf for giving him broccoli

-the poop freezer
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3792330&pagenumber=992&perpage=40#post471616428

-the guy who left his kid at wal mart
-the woman who wanted to wear a white dress at her son's wedding and kiss and dance with him

-the enema guy
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3792330&pagenumber=1008&perpage=40#post471703305

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 18:25 on May 13, 2017

Hello Ketene
Dec 30, 2011

lol he knows he can't do any better than crazy Feng Shui XTREME 3000™ lady

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

DAD LOST MY IPOD posted:

ok so i've got a pretty good bracket going but i still need links to the following posts if anyone can remember where they are:
-the kid who stuck a hairbrush up a dog's butt
-the woman cheating with her dad
-the prankster who lost his sibling five figures
-the guy who sodomized his gf for giving him broccoli
-the poop freezer
-the guy who left his kid at wal mart
-the woman who wanted to wear a white dress at her son's wedding and kiss and dance with him
-the enema guy
Oh man I had forgotten about that one, that was truly some next level awful when he turned around and accused the dad of raping the dog. IIRC the story turned out to be confirmed fake tho fortunately.

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Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

therobit posted:

That isn't necessarily her fault.There are very few men left in Portland. Tons of people who self identity as male that wear beards and flannel shirts with skinny jeans, but very few men relative to the population. Half of those "guys" are busy complaining that they can't leave the house due to their crippling anxiety and the other half want an open relationship. They do like to cosplay as lumberjacks despite never having swung an axe though. If she is looking for a real man she should go to the Fish Grotto.

Literally every man in Portland:

http://i.imgur.com/gCXs8Nl.mp4

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