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Phil Kessel is fully sick and probably smokes weed with his sister
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May 16, 2017 04:32
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cenotaph posted:I think someone in the GDT asked for this. 
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May 16, 2017 04:36
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if the pens win the cup, hand knit and iospace will give everyone a kesseltar
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May 16, 2017 04:37
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phil kessel is a national treasure
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May 16, 2017 04:49
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Eric the Mauve posted:yeah but give them a break, it was against that vaunted Penguins defensive corps *5/6 of that vaunted d corps
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May 16, 2017 05:06
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cenotaph posted:I think someone in the GDT asked for this. guffawed out loud in my bathroom and got my wife out of bed, thanks for that fancy stats posted:I missed the game, but this happened? He was mad because he wanted a second hotdog and couldn't get one
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May 16, 2017 05:18
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lol some people honestly still believe Phil is lazy. Phil the Thrill owns.
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May 16, 2017 05:30
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Matt Tkachuck is still my favorite hockey player in the world. Phil Kessel is my favorite hockey player right now, and I hope he retires in 4 years with 5 cups and opens a hotdog stand in TO.
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May 16, 2017 05:38
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That single clip makes me forgive Kunitz's last two years of 'meh' play.
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May 16, 2017 05:39
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Jonny Nox posted:Matt Tkachuck is still my favorite hockey player in the world. He should be in a sports net special in Ontario where he is picking people up in an uber so finally he can drive the fans out of Toronto.
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May 16, 2017 05:45
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HOTLANTA
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Benson Cunningham posted:That single clip makes me forgive Kunitz's last two years of 'meh' play. Kunitz is bringing some pretty decent play as of late. I'll take it.
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May 16, 2017 05:51
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Waking up to a 1-0 win is a lot better than the 8-5 loss I had while dreaming. I believe Fleury got pulled after 3, then Murray came in, got injured and we were forced to put in Jarry and he let in a shitload. It's also not so good reading reports about more and more people getting injured 
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May 16, 2017 06:47
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Just your yearly reminder that Phil's perceived "doesn't play the game the right way/locker room cancer" character issues originated from Jack Johnson, who is probably not the best judge of character.
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May 16, 2017 12:08
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Craig Anderson posted:I caught an edge. It sucks. Dude you could've fallen flat on your face and knocked it in with your rear end, wouldn't change the fact that the other 20 guys went almost 20 minutes without shooting. Sounds like someone's getting frustrated with a system...
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May 16, 2017 13:03
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I didn't think I'd want the Penguins to win this series, but I really don't want to watch Ottawa play anymore.
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May 16, 2017 13:07
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yellowcar posted:lol some people honestly still believe Phil is lazy. I don't want the pens to win the cup but I can not bring myself to hate Phil Kessel at all.
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May 16, 2017 13:19
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Call Your Grandma posted:Just your yearly reminder that Phil's perceived "doesn't play the game the right way/locker room cancer" character issues originated from Jack Johnson, who is probably not the best judge of character. Uh I'm pretty sure it originated in his testicles.
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May 16, 2017 13:24
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Jamwad Hilder posted:I didn't think I'd want the Penguins to win this series, but I really don't want to watch Ottawa play anymore. So, in a series between ANYONE v Pens we have independent SAS posters wanting that "anyone but the Pens" team to lose. If this isn't an indictment of how dreadful Bouchers coaching is from an entertainment angle, then I don't know what to tell you. Hell, last nights 1-0 game was more exciting than the 2-1 overtime specifically because the Sens couldn't get to their game.
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May 16, 2017 14:03
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You look at Phil Kessel, and it just boggles the mind that this man who looks like the Ur Goon stumbling around skates, half-tripping until until he reaches speeds that just seem to defy the laws of physics relative to his body type -- chasing pucks, red-faced and trying to meekly forecheck, wheeling around like a kid on figure skates, lurking in the slot while desperately trying not to topple over forward while he fumble fucks around with the puck on his stick. It's fascinating watching how fast he somehow gets into his shooting motion, and unleashes that wrist shot. I just can't get enough of him.
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May 16, 2017 14:21
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Phil Kessel has a special exemption from the NHL's drug policies because his hot dog consumption is so high that his growth hormone levels are above normal.
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May 16, 2017 14:23
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Kessel is proof that if you eat enough hot dogs your dreams can come true.
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May 16, 2017 14:28
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MY NIGGA D-LINK posted:You look at Phil Kessel, and it just boggles the mind that this man who looks like the Ur Goon stumbling around skates, half-tripping until until he reaches speeds that just seem to defy the laws of physics relative to his body type -- chasing pucks, red-faced and trying to meekly forecheck, wheeling around like a kid on figure skates, lurking in the slot while desperately trying not to topple over forward while he fumble fucks around with the puck on his stick. It's fascinating watching how fast he somehow gets into his shooting motion, and unleashes that wrist shot. Some article on I think deadspin wrote that every Phil Kessel goal is a fat guy touchdown, and I think that nailed it pretty well.
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May 16, 2017 14:42
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Hand Knit posted:Some article on I think deadspin wrote that every Phil Kessel goal is a fat guy touchdown, and I think that nailed it pretty well. Yeah they took a picture of phil just in a regular t-shirt and sent it aroudn to people asking what they thought he did for a career. They got amazing responses
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May 16, 2017 14:52
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MY NIGGA D-LINK posted:You look at Phil Kessel, and it just boggles the mind that this man who looks like the Ur Goon stumbling around skates, half-tripping until until he reaches speeds that just seem to defy the laws of physics relative to his body type -- chasing pucks, red-faced and trying to meekly forecheck, wheeling around like a kid on figure skates, lurking in the slot while desperately trying not to topple over forward while he fumble fucks around with the puck on his stick. It's fascinating watching how fast he somehow gets into his shooting motion, and unleashes that wrist shot. related: byfuglien, dustin
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May 16, 2017 14:53
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That's apt E; the fat guy TD analogy, that is
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May 16, 2017 14:55
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We're getting awfully close to the "Phil Kessel is a big* game player" narrative and I love it. *lol hotdogs
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May 16, 2017 15:07
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May 16, 2017 15:21
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He had 22 (10g/12a) points in 24 games last year. Right now he's sitting on 14 points in 14 games. And that doesn't even mention all the intangibles he brings to the table. Like relish and mustard.
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May 16, 2017 15:22
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ThinkTank posted:We're getting awfully close to the "Phil Kessel is a big* game player" narrative and I love it. Apart from Steve Simmons did anyone ever doubt that? He's been a force every time he's been in the playoffs across three different teams.
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May 16, 2017 15:24
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In news probably everyone in SAS will enjoy, Steiggy is being replaced by Steve Mears as Penguins PBP man: https://twitter.com/penguins/status/864488354565455872/photo/1 e: Apparently Steiggy is heading to the front office in some capacity. Hopefully as a hot dog vendor Ginette Reno fucked around with this message at 15:41 on May 16, 2017 |
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May 16, 2017 15:36
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I don't really like Steve Mears but it's certainly an upgrade.
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May 16, 2017 15:39
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Ginette Reno posted:Apart from Steve Simmons did anyone ever doubt that? He's been a force every time he's been in the playoffs across three different teams. I don't think it's much of a stretch to say that Kessel was dogged by a reputation for laziness and disinterested play up to and including his first few months in Pittsburgh. Seriously, google "Phil Kessel lazy" and marvel at all the incredibly original articles about how the Penguins should be buyer beware with him and/or the immediate dogpile on his play during the Pens' early season slump last year.
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May 16, 2017 15:39
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Mind_Taker posted:I don't really like Steve Mears but it's certainly an upgrade. a vuvuzela constantly being blown is an upgrade on steigerwald
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May 16, 2017 15:41
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I think it was just a Toronto thing too. I don't remember him being anything but popular in Boston, but I also didn't really consume a lot of mainstream garbage media or have twitter in 2008 or whatever.
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May 16, 2017 15:43
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Mind_Taker posted:I don't really like Steve Mears but it's certainly an upgrade. He's not exactly brimming with personality but he won't be an obnoxious homer at least and he seems knowledgeable. ThinkTank posted:I don't think it's much of a stretch to say that Kessel was dogged by a reputation for laziness and disinterested play up to and including his first few months in Pittsburgh. Seriously, google "Phil Kessel lazy" and marvel at all the incredibly original articles about how the Penguins should be buyer beware with him and/or the immediate dogpile on his play during the Pens' early season slump last year. Which is funny because iirc Kessel was one of the few guys playing well last year during that early season slump. It was like him and Malkin scoring and everyone else being a gigantic turd.
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May 16, 2017 15:44
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Can never unsee Steve Mears = the guy from Lasagna Cat
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May 16, 2017 15:50
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May 16, 2017 15:51
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Ginette Reno posted:In news probably everyone in SAS will enjoy, Steiggy is being replaced by Steve Mears as Penguins PBP man: Well that's interesting, I thought Steiggy would be around forever. I wouldn't mind the change of pace.
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May 16, 2017 15:55
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Ginette Reno posted:In news probably everyone in SAS will enjoy, Steiggy is being replaced by Steve Mears as Penguins PBP man: https://twitter.com/penguins/status/864488354565455872/photo/1 I am so happy about this news that I don't even care if the Senators win now.
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May 16, 2017 16:00
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Mears is boring but a light post is an upgrade over Steigerwald so cool. In real news, let's talk about how Evgeni Malkin is literally worthless and terrible Signed, every yinzer I encounter, without fail
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May 16, 2017 16:10
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