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CharlestheHammer posted:Nah he was a dick. Not a dick, just oblivious.
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May 17, 2017 06:28
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therobit posted:Not a dick, just oblivious. Fair.
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May 17, 2017 06:29
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It's one of those rare stories where everyone involved has a fair point: it's important to her because she's openly revealing her identity in a way that's really scary and vulnerable, and it's not a big deal to him because he won't love her less either way but it's still frustrating for her because he didn't recognize that it was a pretty big deal for her even if it wasn't for him but in the end it all worked out because everyone in the situation acted with the best intentions at every step. In short, it's a heartwarming poo poo that has no place in this thread where we take comfort in the social maladjustment of others. 
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May 17, 2017 07:23
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Me [21F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of 3 years, he doesnt see me in the long run of his life anymore if I dont get a bachelors degree by the time im 25. any advice?quote:u/mipololo I somewhat sympathise with the boyfriend. You don't really know if something is for you until you actually spend a year or two doing it. Choose something you have an aptitude in that has good employment prospects - it's not hard. Also he presumably wants a partner who earns as well. He's honest.
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May 17, 2017 07:40
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I've been battling depression on and off the past years(i dislike saying this, im not looking for pity in this area) so i think that might have influenced his change of view on me as well. I can be pretty useless at times. im just hurt. I do want to do something with my life, and i get we are young and sure he doesnt have to wait for me i shouldnt expect that since he has his plans but it still just hurts.
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Milotic posted:I somewhat sympathise with the boyfriend. You don't really know if something is for you until you actually spend a year or two doing it. Choose something you have an aptitude in that has good employment prospects - it's not hard. OP's only 21 so her situation's not the end of the world, at least. It'd be a lot more concerning if she was in her late 20s and still waffling about what she wants to be when she grows up.
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May 17, 2017 07:59
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CharlestheHammer posted:Nah he was a dick. he wasnt a dick he was a Cool Dad
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May 17, 2017 08:04
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Fartbox posted:he wasnt a dick I am so sorry
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May 17, 2017 08:04
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We should all strive for that reaction when someone says they're gay
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May 17, 2017 08:06
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If he understood after it was explained to him, and they lived happily ever after, that sounds idyllic. Dad always good in that case. He listened and didn't judge.
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May 17, 2017 08:18
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Milotic posted:Me [21F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of 3 years, he doesnt see me in the long run of his life anymore if I dont get a bachelors degree by the time im 25. any advice? Man I know someone like that, the person posting the story. Shits thorny, like as a third party observer its not my responsibility to run someones life and obviously comfort is important, if you're stuck doing poo poo you hate forever you're gonna wind up a bitter twisted rear end in a top hat. But if I were in a relationship with them than its me who suffers in the end trying to support an endless stream of expensive (in both time and money) series of essentially hobbies and fleeting interests interspersed by the occasional half-assed part time limp. It'd drive me insane. Splittings kind've an Occam's razor solution though... the simplest most effective one perhaps but jeeze, three full years for nothing.
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May 17, 2017 10:12
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Milotic posted:Me [21F] with my boyfriend [22 M] of 3 years, he doesnt see me in the long run of his life anymore if I dont get a bachelors degree by the time im 25. any advice? Not to say that you're doomed if you have a few stumbles along the way, but just spinning your wheels and not evening managing to stick to a single degree by then is not a good look unless he's just looking for a dependent.
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May 17, 2017 10:15
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Maybe it's the kick up the rear end she needs.
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May 17, 2017 10:19
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Haifisch posted:Today on "what did you think was going to happen?": Eh, GF is a dick but speaking from experience if they're not religious they'll get over it. It's not really about moral convictions, but face. As long as one of them gets lots of cash or a posh sounding job things will be fine, straight child with poor husband is worth less than richy rich gaybos in competing with community stakes. They need to have some swirl babies and things will be smoothed out.
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May 17, 2017 12:03
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Haifisch posted:We got in a big fight and I gave her an ultimatum TIL that lesbians can be abusers, too!
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May 17, 2017 12:16
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Rolled Cabbage posted:Eh, GF is a dick but speaking from experience if they're not religious they'll get over it. It's not really about moral convictions, but face. As long as one of them gets lots of cash or a posh sounding job things will be fine, straight child with poor husband is worth less than richy rich gaybos in competing with community stakes. They need to have some swirl babies and things will be smoothed out. I'm pretty sure there's some cultural elements you're overlooking. Also I like how the author glosses over how its literally all her fault and that she essentially ruined her partners family life.
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May 17, 2017 12:39
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ArbitraryC posted:I don't think you even really need to add the "somewhat" caveat, 25 is a p reasonable line to draw for "should have at least attempted to start a career", it's not like your prospects get better inherently as you get older, if anything they get worse and worse cause everyone expects you to already have x years of experience in the field by that point. Pretty much this. There's a whole class of otherwise decent people who make lousy partners because they jump from one thing to another without any kind of long-term plan. Degree aside, it takes like five or six years to get good at something. The longer you go without putting in that time, the more of a liability it is. It's not that people expect you to be better at something because you're older, exactly. It's that the things you want to do in your late 20's and early 30's -- kids, investment, social life, and so on -- depend on being able to capitalize on some well-developed skill.
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May 17, 2017 13:06
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tactlessbastard posted:TIL that lesbians can be abusers, too! lesbian relationships are notorious for abuse, they're more likely to be abusive than any other pattern. part of this is because being gay can isolate you from friend and family support networks as we see.
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May 17, 2017 13:08
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My [25M] girlfriend [25F] is travelling Europe solo, wants a Free Passquote:My girlfriend and I are in a happy relationship, it's been probably over a year; there's talk of marriage, kids etc. in our future together. A recent opportunity for her to travel arose, but due to study commitments, I am unable to travel with her. Regardless, I encouraged her to travel without me, to go make memories etc. etc. And further, in the comments by OP; quote:She said it's only because we are so young, and if we are spending the rest of our lives together then she wants to enjoy what freedom she still could have. She's never had a one night stand, that kinda fling' thing, so i'm guessing she wants to experience what that's all about.
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May 17, 2017 13:14
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Parsley posted:My [25M] girlfriend [25F] is travelling Europe solo, wants a Free Pass Subverting gender roles, nice.
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May 17, 2017 13:37
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Parsley posted:My [25M] girlfriend [25F] is travelling Europe solo, wants a Free Pass american girls that go to hostels are easy so even if she'd promised fidelity she end up sleeping with people lmao
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May 17, 2017 13:57
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I [28M] found out my sister [21F] was in an abusive relationship and did something stupidquote:submitted 17 minutes ago by sistersexthrow "what's a good throwaway username for this situation, I know, sister sex throw"
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May 17, 2017 14:08
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Haifisch posted:The "if you do what you love you'll never work a day in your life" attitude is behind most problems like this. Yeah it's nice if you get a job you love, but realistically most people will end up in something that's just kind of okay and do what they love in their free time. Save extreme examples on either end of the spectrum (something like child protective services, where you either can't deal with the horrors of human depravity, or you feel rewarded for making a difference where you can) whether or not you enjoy your job is 45% your attitude and 45% the people you work with/work for, and 10% what you're actually doing.
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May 17, 2017 14:19
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It's a well known rule that if you're abroad you can't cheat on your loved one The cheating can't stretch tthat far, so it doesnt count
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May 17, 2017 14:19
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blarzgh posted:Save extreme examples on either end of the spectrum (something like child protective services, where you either can't deal with the horrors of human depravity, or you feel rewarded for making a difference where you can) whether or not you enjoy your job is 45% your attitude and 45% the people you work with/work for, and 10% what you're actually doing. someone's never worked in a call center
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May 17, 2017 14:24
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Peanut Butler posted:someone's never worked in a call center I'd file that under "extreme example."
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May 17, 2017 14:26
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Whorelord posted:american girls that go to hostels are easy so even if she'd promised fidelity she end up sleeping with people lmao Yeah, dude didnt really need to wait for the "oh yeah, Im a gently caress every accented man with a vague understanding of english or at least a cute smile" because thats what traveling by hostel means for most american women.
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May 17, 2017 14:31
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As a not-american, i am takin notes i m gonna go visit so many hostels and find your fat ugly american women that i can seduce
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May 17, 2017 14:43
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therobit posted:Many white liberals in cities live in a bubble and do not understand that anything outside of thier experience exists. It lost them the last two mid term election cycles and caused HRC to lose to the one candidate we all thought could not possibly pull out a win. Maybe people want to live their lives as they see fit and her girlfriend's parents are horrible idiots? She didn't out her girlfriend, she gave her a choice. Her parents are the ones being completely unreasonable. Gumbel2Gumbel fucked around with this message at 14:55 on May 17, 2017 |
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May 17, 2017 14:52
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:Maybe people want to live their lives as they see fit and her girlfriend's parents are horrible idiots? It sounds like she gave ger an ultimatum, blindly assuming that there would be no fallout, because she is a moron.
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May 17, 2017 15:08
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:My first ever experience of an American family was there. Old guy, next a stone and his wife with a camera. Shameful. Surely, they meant to say menhir.
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May 17, 2017 15:10
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therobit posted:It sounds like she gave ger an ultimatum, blindly assuming that there would be no fallout, because she is a moron. Maybe her parents are homophobic idiots, because they are morons.
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May 17, 2017 15:12
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therobit posted:It sounds like she gave ger an ultimatum, blindly assuming that there would be no fallout, because she is a moron. yep forcing people to come out is extremely lovely
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May 17, 2017 15:14
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:Maybe her parents are homophobic idiots, because they are morons. Of course homophobia is bad, but that doesn't mean it is right to force someone out of the closet.
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May 17, 2017 15:16
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:Maybe her parents are homophobic idiots, because they are morons. I'm pretty sure the girl knows her parents are homophobic idiots that doesn't make the situation any easier for her...
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May 17, 2017 15:16
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therobit posted:Of course homophobia is bad, but that doesn't mean it is right to force someone out of the closet. I don't think it's an ideal situation either, and it's a lovely thing to do, but if I'm assigning blame here it's going to go more on the bigots in this situation.
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May 17, 2017 15:21
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:Maybe people want to live their lives as they see fit and her girlfriend's parents are horrible idiots? Never loving out a person against their express wishes or emotionally blackmail them into outing themselves - this is not difficult to understand.
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May 17, 2017 15:22
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Gumbel2Gumbel posted:I don't think it's an ideal situation either, and it's a lovely thing to do, but if I'm assigning blame here it's going to go more on the bigots in this situation. you can blame both of them, it's okay
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May 17, 2017 15:23
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Fartbox posted:As a not-american, i am takin notes really your main barrier is just the general american stupidity/annoying voices
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May 17, 2017 15:25
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Gorilla Salad posted:Never loving out a person against their express wishes or emotionally blackmail them into outing themselves - this is not difficult to understand. Yeah, I get it a little more now.
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May 17, 2017 15:26
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Fartbox posted:We should all strive for that reaction when someone says they're gay You see, spamming GBS catchphrases is a strategy to enact positive social change
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May 17, 2017 15:28
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