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Amazing, even 5.11 has skinny jeans now. What a time to be alive.
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May 17, 2017 10:40
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OK. So you've been bagged and stripped and you're in some death cave. Now you've pooped your key and get your hands free. What now?
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May 17, 2017 10:41
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Snap one of the guard's neck with your bare hands and take their uniform, obviously.
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May 17, 2017 10:43
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Pingiivi posted:OK. So you've been bagged and stripped and you're in some death cave. Now you've pooped your key and get your hands free. What now? Using your flabby obese goon form do your best Bayonetta impression.
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May 17, 2017 10:46
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 Thunderwear. Why not Thunderpants? I guess you can still laugh at the name when you shoot your cock off.
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May 17, 2017 10:49
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May 17, 2017 10:54
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Pingiivi posted:OK. So you've been bagged and stripped and you're in some death cave. Now you've pooped your key and get your hands free. What now? He sighed as he pooped out his katana.
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May 17, 2017 10:55
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Dissociative Donut posted:
In my fever delirium I read this as "Anatomy of a Violent Nerd" and I don't think I was wrong 
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May 17, 2017 11:01
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So do you walk around with this up your arse all day just in case you get snatched, or do you carry it around with you in your pocket and quickly shelve it when the poo poo goes down?
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May 17, 2017 11:22
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Later my fellow cyberpunks, I'm heading off to stick it to the megacorps running Night City. *Grunts and heaves 30 kilograms of bulky electronics onto outfit, face goes red and starts visibly sweating*
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May 17, 2017 11:26
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DancingShade posted:Later my fellow cyberpunks, I'm heading off to stick it to the megacorps running Night City. The difference between the cyberpunk picture and the urban survivalist ones is that the cyberpunk one is obviously a joke, whilst Reddit and/k/ think they're actually Jason Bourne awaiting an opportunity to show everyone they're not out of shape geeks with superiority complexes.
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May 17, 2017 11:57
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Gonna be real hard to get that butt stash out without either a flared base or lots of practice. Tldr all survivalists are heavy into butt play
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May 17, 2017 12:10
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I'm the shin-pager.
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May 17, 2017 12:21
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grumplestiltzkin posted:Gonna be real hard to get that butt stash out without either a flared base or lots of practice. BLUF: Practice sliding everything you own into your butthole
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May 17, 2017 12:25
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Solice Kirsk posted:BLUF: Practice sliding everything you own into your butthole Butt Lubed, Upwardly Force
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May 17, 2017 12:32
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Slugnoid posted:So do you walk around with this up your arse all day just in case you get snatched, Do you not?
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May 17, 2017 12:40
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My survival buttshank is always ready to go.
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May 17, 2017 12:43
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Takes No Damage posted:Local shad for me, a dude with a history of violence literally kicks down the door of a stranger's apartment, is in the process of literally bashing down their bedroom door when they shoot him through the door, and all this article cares about is his promising NBA career cut short I didn't read the article because I'm sure it was trying to glorify this guy. gently caress him. It's always telling when they disable the comments on an article.
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May 17, 2017 12:44
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Takes No Damage posted:Local shad for me, a dude with a history of violence literally kicks down the door of a stranger's apartment, is in the process of literally bashing down their bedroom door when they shoot him through the door, and all this article cares about is his promising NBA career cut short I'm not glad the guy is dead or anything, but he sounded like a gigantic rear end in a top hat. And the article seemed to find nothing wrong with his actions.
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May 17, 2017 13:00
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Stoatbringer posted:Sir, why do you have an adjustable spanner glued to your pubes? Do you not?
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May 17, 2017 13:19
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Leavemywife posted:I'm not glad the guy is dead or anything, but he sounded like a gigantic rear end in a top hat. And the article seemed to find nothing wrong with his actions. ..But his promising NBA career  If only that loving teacher cowering in his bedroom, behind a locked door, had set the gun aside and really thought about his actions.
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May 17, 2017 13:20
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Obligatory Myrtar post 
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May 17, 2017 13:25
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Ah, yes, the rent-a-thug look. So chic.
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May 17, 2017 13:43
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Leavemywife posted:I'm not glad the guy is dead or anything, but he sounded like a gigantic rear end in a top hat. And the article seemed to find nothing wrong with his actions. I didn't expect the whole thing to be this stupid. The dude was, at best, thinking he was breaking into his own apartment in the dumbest way imaginable. I've locked myself out of my apartment once or twice, and smashing the exterior door down wasn't the first thing I thought to do. This dude apparently: 1) Got to the wrong apartment because he forgot how elevators work 2) Smashed in the exterior door to get in, instead of, you know, calling the super 3) Didn't notice that the whole apartment was furnished differently than his own 4) Tried to smash in "his" bedroom door when he found it locked But, no, what a horrible loss of such a promising young man. 
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May 17, 2017 13:45
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A fuckton of incredibly important things everyone needs to carry all the time can be found at http://everydaycarry.com/ My favorite is the guy who carries zip ties, gloves and duct tape for reasons.
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May 17, 2017 13:48
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Railing Kill posted:I didn't expect the whole thing to be this stupid. The dude was, at best, thinking he was breaking into his own apartment in the dumbest way imaginable. I've locked myself out of my apartment once or twice, and smashing the exterior door down wasn't the first thing I thought to do. This dude apparently: Not surprised at the reaction though, when athlete rapists get six months ever after being caught in the act by two witnesses.
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May 17, 2017 13:51
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Foxhound posted:Obligatory Myrtar post tactical pants
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May 17, 2017 13:52
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gschmidl posted:A fuckton of incredibly important things everyone needs to carry all the time can be found at http://everydaycarry.com/ I never realized there were so many different pens specifically designed for stabbing people
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May 17, 2017 13:56
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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang posted:..But his promising NBA career But he was successful and might have been rich one day!
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May 17, 2017 13:56
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gschmidl posted:My favorite is the guy who carries zip ties, gloves and duct tape for reasons. Dennis?
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May 17, 2017 14:01
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Railing Kill posted:I didn't expect the whole thing to be this stupid. The dude was, at best, thinking he was breaking into his own apartment in the dumbest way imaginable
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May 17, 2017 14:10
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Slugnoid posted:tactical pants 5.11Tactical also sell tactical utilikilts http://www.511tactical.com/mens/mens-pants.html
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May 17, 2017 14:14
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Hey, wait. I know a 200 pound over 6 foot 6 raging drunk is smashing into your apartment in a fury, but just stop and think...about how good he is at basketball.
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May 17, 2017 14:14
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im glad that loving jock got what was coming to him
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May 17, 2017 14:16
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Those mighty thews that are reducing your bedroom door to splinters and already cracked the frame? Made for slam dunks. Don't take this bounty from the rest of us.
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May 17, 2017 14:16
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Or we could end this stupid derail. Also: 
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May 17, 2017 14:18
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No future in the NBA with that haircut.
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May 17, 2017 14:20
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To avoid any future schadenfreude, please remember to put the nail inside your butt survival tube before insertion.
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May 17, 2017 14:21
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grumplestiltzkin posted:Gonna be real hard to get that butt stash out without either a flared base or lots of practice. After the nukes drop and the surface of the planet becomes a mutant-strewn wasteland the survival of the human species will fall to one man: Kirk Johnson and his Tactical Colon
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May 17, 2017 15:00
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marshmallow creep posted:Those mighty thews that are reducing your bedroom door to splinters and already cracked the frame? Made for slam dunks. Don't take this bounty from the rest of us. So, I'm not glad the guy is dead, and the article doesn't go so far as to say that he was in the right for smashing in a door or anything, but I think it's worth noting just how much effort he put in to knocking down what he thought was the door to the apartment with his girlfriend and child in it at 3 in the morning: quote:According to witness reports, he proceeded to kick and punch the metal front door, repeatedly and with such force that he broke through a pair of deadbolts.
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May 17, 2017 15:07
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