quote:

My bf [26M] thinks that I'm prioritizing "work" and pushing him aside for not wanting to change my [23F] interview time to one that suits him better

Together for 3 years. long distance for the last 6 months.

I'm trying to get a job to be close to this idiot cause I love him and miss him. I'm missing work (with no pay) to attend his city and take this interview.

The interview is early in the morning and would take probably 30-40 mins. I asked him if he could take the day off (he has saved up tones of paid leave since he has been working for years) so that we can spend the rest of the day together before I leave since we havent seen each other in over 6 weeks.

Initially it was fine. Later on he asks that I call them up and change the time to later in the afternoon so that he can work from home that day and leave/finish up around the time of the interview.

His reasoning - he doesnt want to waste his "paid leave" when he can just work from home and still "spend time together"

I told him he doesnt need to take the day off. He can do as he was planning. Ill go the interview and return back myself. But I didnt wnt to change the interview details as it doesnt look professional.

He gets upset with me that I'm trying not to inconvenience "people I dont even know" while inconveniencing him.

He thinks I should be trying to accommodate him.

I think he is being ridiculous and frankly Im pissed off that he cares so much about a lousy day off when he has so much paid leave.

Im taking UNPAID days off for a stupid interview for him. Im trying not to look bad or make a bad impression here and he thinks I should be prioritizing him ? besides Ive made it clear he can still work if thats what he wants. Im not forcing him to take a day off.

Am I taking crazy pills or is he being incredibly selfish.

Should I be trying to change times after agreeing to a set time ?

tl;dr: Im not willing to change my interview times for my bf just so that he can work from home. But Im not pushing him to take a day off either. I just want to attend my interview at set time. He thinks Im prioritizing people that are not important over him (someone who should be the most important person in my life) I just dont see how he could come to this conclusion

Kelp Me! posted:

Pvt. Scott here already, your story is (probably) legit and if someone bans you for flat-out admitting you were sexually assaulted and telling your story I'll personally buy you a new account ok? Sorry if I jumped on a bandwagon but you have to admit the order of stories you told is a little weird.

I know it's slightly off-topic but that whole drama did originate in this thread and jfc, the idea that someone is literally afraid of getting banned for verifying that yes, in fact, he was explicitly referring to being sexually assaulted by a woman makes me feel pretty lovely for poking fun earlier

quote:

I'm the 18M.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a long time obviously, and over that time I've grown to trust her with a lot, and her I. We can usually depend on each other to be a home; someone with whom we don't have to worry about being rejected, that we can depend on for love and support and comfort, etc.. We have never had a heated fight or anything, some talks about rare disagreements yeh, but no reason for me to ever feel reserved, or her that I know of.

All this time we've gotten to know each other pretty well. We've shared most all of our secrets. I felt confident I could share with her anything I felt or thought without worrying about how she'd think of me afterward.

I have voices in my head. Two of them, and something else. I've had them for a long time, but I have never told anyone that I know in real life, because of how they might react. This experience has verified that. You can visit /r/tulpas for detailed information, but the tl;dr is I have imaginary friends that feel, to me, like they are autonomous (i.e. not puppets but individuals).

I told her this a few nights ago. We were in my car, and talking about something I forget, but I looked at her and told her I was going to share a secret. She was kind of excited about and said "shoot!" and smiled at me. I looked forward and started explaining it, and it may have taken a minute, I was a bit emotional, but when I looked back over at her, she had the coldest look on her face I'd ever seen her give me. She was afraid. Afraid of me. I started to cry and asked her if everything was ok and she kind of comforted me but she was really uncomfortable, and said good bye for the night. (I had just taken her home and we were talking before the went inside).

She's been reserved ever since, and gets uncomfortable and almost cries when I bring it up.

tl;dr: I confided in my girlfriend that I had imaginary friends. She has distanced herself and is now uncomfortable around me.

quote:

I am not ashamed of the fact that I hear voices. I just don't like people thinking I'm crazy, encouraging me to go get treatment, or pitying me. It's just something I'd rather go on without. Medication isn't something I'm avoiding because I'm ashamed of seeking help, it's that I feel like I don't have any reason to seek help. I have had these voices/imaginary friends for years, and they've never been a problem innately, only in how my girlfriend reacted to knowing about them.

Worst case scenario I move to the mountains and live off the land with my new hunting cult.

Cumslut1895 posted:

If only someone had mentioned that at the time

maskenfreiheit posted:

he can't post for 6 days due to his probation so stop derailing and post content

quote:

So I started working at a new job and this guy was assigned to help me. We got along great and discovered that we have a lot in common. I never led him on, in fact I say pretty early on that I was in a relationship (it came up naturally).
Few weeks after, he started acting weird. He was being sad/angry in general, everyone could see. Later, I got a long text message from him, saying how he fell for me and won't me mentoring me anymore. I thought that was strange, but he informed HR and everything.
I thought he handled it well all things considered. It was fine (but less chatty/friendly) between us after that.
Now a few months had past. I get a vibe from him like he really dislikes me now. Like, excludes me in conversations, ignores me in general (we still talk about work). I recognize this behavior, I had them with other guys in my life. I realise he feels frustrated, etc.
It makes me feel weird at work. I don't think I did anything wrong, but now I feel excluded... I want to form a friendship with this guy without leading him on, but it's almost like he's formed a wall of ignoring me to keep himself safe.
For the record, there are very few females here in the office. When I am being ignored like this, it makes the other guys behave differently too (he is the main "talker" in the group). I think that maybe time has to pass, but my trial period ends soon and I know his opinion will matter in the decision somewhat. I'm worried his feelings will affect my career.
Oh, and I do need to add that I live in a country where these kinds of things are laughed off for the most part. If I bother HR about this, it's likely they will just fire me for causing trouble. (he is a very valuable employee and unfortunately this is how things work in this country..)
What do I do, reddit? Ignore him? Try to talk to him more? I just want the situation to "normalise" and I feel like I don't have that much time.
tl;dr: Coworker confessed he liked me, removed himself from position of authority to me, but we still work together and now he resents me. I want to make the situation better, be friendly with him again.

dudeness posted:

[17F] worried SO[18M] of 5 years is going insane.



Hunting cult could mean so many things.

Improbable Lobster posted:

I mean, I know I couldn't but I'm also not part of a "hunting cult" nor do I post on reddit about my imaginary friends.

Panfilo posted:

The Martian Diet.

Kelp Me! posted:

Coworker [28ish male] is in love with me [24F], I don't know what to do


How much you wanna bet there's a corresponding thread on /r/incel with the guy's side of the story

quote:

Hi Reddit.

In less than a year I will graduate with an advanced degree in a STEM field. I'm really excited to finally after nine years at the same university to take an exciting job and potentially move across the country. I've always dreamed of turning this move into an extended road trip to see the country, ending up in a new place to take my new job after 2 months or so. I have had 2 different friends do this and both spoke highly of their experience.

I have been dating Boy for about 6 months, though I have known him for several years. Boy got a new job around the time we started dating and he's doing well in it and is moving up. He makes decent money (but half of what my degree will get). He came to this area to kind of get a fresh start and has been putting roots down.

Boy has planned out a future for us (together) that is very different from the future that I planned for myself (independently, before dating him). In his mind, we will move in together soon and live together in this area for 1-2 years before we move anywhere new, as a trial to see if it's worth it for him to give up his life here and move somewhere with me. He has told me he plans to marry me and that I'm the person he wants for the rest of his life. He's asked me to save up to take an expensive vacation abroad (to a destination I have little interest in) with him, which will require me to forfeit any travel for the next 8 months (normally I do some cheap travel/visiting family every 3 months or so) and likely to give up my road trip plans. He has said taking this trip specifically with me is very important to him. I offered to go to a more affordable place, which would allow me to road trip, but he was only interested in the big, expensive trip.

Personally, I feel like he's taking the dreams that I've had since before I met him away from me. I don't feel like I've been in this relationship long enough, or that it's a sure enough bet to continue, to make commitments to take expensive vacations in a year. I told Boy this and he got very upset and called me really selfish for going after what I wanted (road trip to new job in a new place) without considering how it made what he wanted (expensive vacation abroad with me and then life/marriage with me) unattainable.

Am I being selfish here? This is only my second committed relationship, and my first in four years or so, so my calibration is wack and I don't know if I'm being a horrible person and if most people would compromise, or if he's asking me for way too much and I should just tell him so.

What do you think?

tl;dr: Boyfriend of 6 months has created a plan for us for the next 2+ years that is very different from the plan I created for myself. He got upset and called me selfish when I told him my plan/dreams were still more important to me than our relationship. I'm rusty on relationships, so sanity check: am I being selfish here?

Haifisch posted:

Am I [26F] really selfish for wanting to pursue my dreams instead of the "plan" my boyfriend [25M] has for us?

Jason Sextro posted:

yeah, why wouldn't you let some guy plan out your entire life without any argument after only six months

quote:

My wife and I just moved to a new country for my work a couple weeks ago. Money is really tight right now from moving and I told her that we should cancel our weekly “pizza party” Fridays to save some money and she completely freaked out at me. She’s mad because it has been a tradition since we started dating but I just don’t think we can afford it anymore. We have 2 month old twins so that isn’t helping the money situation either.

She was being really passive aggressive saying things like “well I don’t want to make dinner now because you cancelled our plans“ so I ended up just leaving and getting a hotel for the night and now she is completely furious and won’t stop calling me.

She is also mad at me because I started smoking again, but I just did it because all of the people I work with here smoke so it was kind of hard not to, and I don’t have any friends here so it would be good to hang out with these people.

Tensions have been really high since we moved so I’m hoping to get some perspective here. I don’t feel like its wrong of me to try to save some money but she’s acting like I’m an awful person for it.

tl;dr: Cancelled weekly pizza party plans to save money and wife is pissed at me because of it

Haifisch posted:

Am I [26F] really selfish for wanting to pursue my dreams instead of the "plan" my boyfriend [25M] has for us?

SirSamVimes posted:

That happened when SA had to peer pressure Reddit into removing their jailbait boards. Does anyone have that "Closed by order of Something Awful" image? Because that's good stuff.

the heat goes wrong posted:

Preteen girls!

quote:

I've known my mother for 27 years, 27 years and nine months if we're going to get technical. For the past few months or possibly the past few years she's been seeing a psychic. I struggle with mental health issues, namely alcoholism and pretty serious anxiety/depression and my mother has become convinced by him that I have a demon which may lead me to commit some violent crime. She showed me the Facebook conversation they had on the topic and he was saying that while I'm not dangerous the demon could lead me to do bad things.

She would like me to take part in an exorcism (I cannot believe I am even typing this). It would only cost 400$ (quite the bargain) and while I do really want to meet this person to get some kind of insight into this weird loving situation I'm not sure if getting involved with him in any capacity is a good idea. I'm also offended and worried that he's telling my mother that I might commit some terrible act one day and she's believing him. Just a weird loving situation and I don't know what to do or if I should even do anything other than tell her what I think.

tl;dr My mom is visiting a psychic whose telling her I might commit a violent crime one day. I'm not sure how to handle this situation and worried about the potential repercussions of being seen as a time bomb because my mom believes in ghosts and my life is lovely.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

*shines the Tony Danza Claus* signal

Haifisch posted:

Mom [54F] is seeing a psychic and he's telling her terrible things about me [27M]

the heat goes wrong posted:

Preteen girls!

fruit on the bottom posted:

Of course IIRC Aatrek was still around at the time, so at least one of the pedophiles was calling from inside the building.

maskenfreiheit posted:

i recently started posting after a long break and haven't kept up with the drama, care to catch me up to speed?

maskenfreiheit posted:

there was only one?

fruit on the bottom posted:

Former mod, turned out to be a child molester.

Psycho Society posted:

they haven't made you a mod yet

Thumbtacks posted:

i'm really curious what "I have a lot of outside-the-mainstream interests that fall under the general heading of kink" means because they don't address them and i'm so curious

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Also she's so loving miserable and I can't stand her. Because of her and the constant stream of Ace community poo poo she would reblog on Tumblr im making the sweeping generalization that asexual people are weird as hell, desperate to be oppressed and I want to be proven wrong but haven't been yet

quote:

Boyfriend: Brent, 1 ½ years. Moving in together in ~4 months.

My boyfriend was having a hard time at work often working 5 or 6 hours of overtime a day for the last 3 weeks. It was his birthday so we concocted a plan to surprise him at his apartment after a long day. A quiet dinner & drinks at his place before we do something more formal this weekend. We set up the birthday surprise at his apartment and laid in wait. While setting up, someone smashed a set of small porcelain figurines of dancers that he keeps on his desk. I cleaned it up and put it in a bag and put it by the garbage. I knew they were important to him for reasons I’ll explain, but didn’t think they were that important.

The figurines were small, pink & white ballerinas doing pirouettes. There were four of them. They belonged to his late twin sister, and it’s among a few things of hers he keeps – those, some photos and t-shirt. The only thing displayed were the porcelain figurines – I never particularly liked them but knew they had sentimental value, so I never said anything. 2 of them were smashed and one of them lost an arm. Anyone skilled with glue could probably fix it, but the arm is missing.

My SO arrived and the party started – it was just a small gathering. He put his stuff on his desk and almost immediately noticed the figurines missing. I told him they were broken. He kept a smile on his face and went about the party as normal. A few people filtered out so he set about to make repairs on his ballerinas and got some glue. His best friend “Charlie” [27/M] has known my SO since they were kids – they went to business school together, they hang out all the time. He volunteered to assist repair the ballerinas. They sat around on the living room floor doing ‘surgery.’ They were joking during the repairs, so for some reason those of us remaining (me and Charlie’s SO) asked a lot of questions about his sister – it’s something I know nothing about, if feels like a big secret that I’m not welcome to know. Charlie’s SO has known him for longer than I have and didn’t even know her name. Charlie kept making faces, but for some reason, we didn’t heed is warnings.

I knew his sister died, but it wasn’t until 4 months ago that I knew they were twins and I only found out last night how she actually died. He answered most of the questions with his normal good humor, but in retrospect we were pushing it too hard. Charlie went to the bathroom + refill drinks. My SO began to get a bit quiet so I stupidly asked more questions – I asked what she looked like. He hemmed and hawed and then said he can’t remember. I’ve never seen him so upset. He gasped, jumped up and left the room. Charlie came back and saw me and his SO ([25/F]/3 years) just looking at each other. Realizing what happened, he went and talked to Brent. He came back and was furious with us – he even said “what the gently caress were you two thinking?” – I’ve never heard Charlie once say a bad word or get upset. He then booted us from Brent’s apartment, told his SO he’d see her at home and then just slammed the door. I heard from Charlie’s SO that he stayed 10 minutes and then return home – the two of them (Charlie & his SO) had a monstrous fight. I called Brent/texted and emailed a long apology; but I’ve heard nothing. I called his office and they told me he took a personal day. I went to his apartment but he wasn’t home.

I called his mom who had no idea anything happened. She laid it out and gave me context and said that she’d talk to him and get him to call me. She reminded me that it was his sister's birthday, too. I had completely missed that fact. I know I really messed that up, but I have no idea what to say beyond “I’m sorry.” I don’t know how to repair this and feel really bad.

tl;dr: Broke a porcelain figurine that belonged to his sister so we asked too many questions about his diseased sister. We pushed and his become really upset. Didn't connect that twins share a birthday and were asking him to rehash terrible memories on her birthday. Don't know how to fix this. Help!

maskenfreiheit posted: