putrid aidsman posted:

they started dating when he was 17

quote:

Girlfriend [23 F] called me [24 M] a "narcissist" for not liking her personal insults

I haven't been with this girl for a long time but she moved really quickly in the beginning and now I'm having second thoughts.

She has this pattern of saying stuff that I think is pretty mean, but she thinks is normal. Some examples: 1) "I hate your love handles. Lose weight." 2) "I hate your foreskin. Cut it off." 3) "I hate your white rear end. Get a tan."

It's always delivered exactly like that: "I hate X. Do Y." in a babyish child voice.

Each time, I've responded: "Hey, I don't really like being spoken to like that. It's unkind and I wouldn't say those things to you."

Each time she tells me I'm being too sensitive and it's just her sense of humor, and she doesn't actually believe those things about me. But they still feel very specific about me. Like, why say those things if you don't actually think them?

Anyway, after my last attempt to stand up for myself, she started psychoanalyzing me and told me I remind me of her mother, who is a narcissist, because I'm unable to take criticism. She asked if I think I might have narcissistic personality disorder.

I wanted to post here and ask if I'm actually being over sensitive. I am normally fine with criticism if it's delivered in a more thoughtful way. I've been nothing but nice to her, and I guess I just don't find her brand of humor very funny.

tl;dr: Girlfriend keeps insulting me physically, I asked her to stop doing that, she asked if I'm a narcissist because I can't take criticism.

putrid aidsman posted:

blarzgh posted:

Just wait till he sees her weiner.

quote:

Long story short, my best friend of basically all my life ("Josh") recently started showing increased interest and fascination for my elderly grandmother... To the point of making remarks that verge on sexual or even romantic interest towards her.

Mind you, Josh has known my grandma pretty much his entire life and over the years he had been nothing but courteous around her as expected. He isn't a rude guy and generally respects his elders. His behavior started to show itself as he progressed through uni (he is a history major) and used his history term papers as pretexts to hang out with my grandma, make her dinner or take her out to lunch and a movie. He wanted to interview her about certain historical times, and as a long-time friend there was nothing weird about it. My grandma even thought it was charming! But eventually Josh started accompanying me to grandma's house (we all live about an hour away from our hometown and I visit my relatives when there's nothing much going on or my fridge is empty).

A couple of months ago we were hanging out at my grandma's pool and when she came out of the changing room in her swimsuit, Josh slapped me on the back and said "Hot drat!". Thankfully, my grandmother is hard of hearing, so I don't think she heard this. It has only escalated from here. One time he was helping her with her computer and whenever she was oblivious he would take a whiff of her hair. This weekend when we watched TV in her living room he "jokingly" offers to rub her ointments on her arms and legs, which she usually has a professional do. I rolled my eyes and went to get a cup of water... When I came back he was loving OILING HER UP and staring at me suggestively. My grandma was watching him in bliss.

I do not know how to put the pin in this situation. I brought it up to my parents and siblings and they all think it's hilarious and "typical Josh", but I am the only one who has been there to witness these advances (?) and everyone takes my rants at face value. After all, he is a long-time family friend and his family is close to us and you can't cut certain people out of your life.

How would you deal with this and have you ever had to deal with something similar?

tl;dr: Josh, my best friend of life, has recently become sexually and romantically interested in my elderly grandmother and I don't know how to get him to back off without causing a rift between our families.

La Brea Carpet posted:

My [M/19] "best" friend [M/20] is obsessed with my grandmother [F/65] and I don't know how to get him to back off


Is GILF a thing?

La Brea Carpet posted:

My [M/19] "best" friend [M/20] is obsessed with my grandmother [F/65] and I don't know how to get him to back off


Is GILF a thing?

La Brea Carpet posted:

My [M/19] "best" friend [M/20] is obsessed with my grandmother [F/65] and I don't know how to get him to back off


Is GILF a thing?

putrid aidsman posted:

Pick posted:

weird baby voice is a really solid indicator to sever, this person is Not Well

Pick posted:

weird baby voice is a really solid indicator to sever, this person is Not Well

fruit on the bottom posted:

Just to other people? What if I talk to cats that way?

La Brea Carpet posted:

Legit, unironic baby voice from either sex is a huge red flag for Major Brain Problems. Every woman I've known who does that turns out to have some kind of issue.

Pick posted:

That's fine, cats have this effect. You are also allowed to make up pretend songs to your cat and sing them, because they have this effect also. For example,

Kitty buddy
Buddy who's a kitty
Kitty who's a buddy
He's a little buddy bear

Avenging_Mikon posted:

What about when talking to an actual baby? I'm talking sub-20 months in age, pre-verbal? 'Cause I don't know if I can give up the high-pitched voice going "and how are you? And how are you?" to babies.

purple death ray posted:

What if I sing cat themed parodies of cheesy 80s pop songs at my cat

I'll tell you what: he doesn't like it and bites me

Pick posted:

Baby talks to babies is appropriate, like speaking Spanish to a Spaniard.


It's a hard life

Anony Mouse posted:

I (26M) have never seen my wife (25F) naked. Is this something that I just need to get over?

Pick posted:

That's fine, cats have this effect. You are also allowed to make up pretend songs to your cat and sing them, because they have this effect also. For example,

Kitty buddy
Buddy who's a kitty
Kitty who's a buddy
He's a little buddy bear

Captain Yossarian posted:

Cats are really good and you should care for them like sweet babies, imo

quote:

I'm not angry with him so much as I am disappointed that we made this agreement and now he is trying to go back on it. I put a lot of stock into things like honesty and integrity, so I have a hard time viewing welching on a bet as honorable behavior. It doesn't make me love my husband less, but it does make him less attractive.

I'm mainly looking for guidance as to whether I should try to hold him to this since he did give his word or if I should just give up and figure out another way to decide our baby's name.
So let me talk about what happened.

My husband and I are graduates of rival schools. I graduated from UK (Go BBN!) and he from Louisville (boo!). That will be more relevant after I give you a few more details.

My husband and I are also expecting our first baby in early March. We're both very excited about becoming parents, and thankfully my pregnancy has gone well so far. The one problem we've had was choosing a name for our son. I don't know why it has been so difficult, but it has been for whatever reason. After a LOT of discussion, we narrowed our list down to 4 names. Any of these names would be acceptable to us, but we each had a favorite. Mine was Jackson and his was Noah. The other two names we each thought were acceptable but neither of us was crazy over. Mostly they were backups or alternatives. Anyway, neither of us had a huge problem with the other's favorite name, but we did have enough a disagreement to bring us to a stalemate. We had thought about using one as a first and one as a middle, but we decided that they didn't flow well. I do want to make it clear that we both agreed that any of the 4 names would be acceptable. This wasn't a situation where he hated my name or I hated his. We just each had a slight preference for one.

A friend of ours who knows that we've not been able to agree on what to name our son jokingly suggested that whoever won the rivalry game between our colleges should determine the name. However, the more we thought about it the more sense it made. As I said, neither of us strongly objects to the other's favorite name. We just have a slight preference for the other, so having a more impartial selection process made a lot of sense. I think it was almost a relief for us because it took the decision out of our hands. We ended up agreeing that whoever's school won would determine which name we picked. I also want to make it clear that we each agreed to this after discussing it. It wasn't a situation where I pushed him into it or forced this on him. If anything, he was more enthusiastic about the bet than I was.

The game comes and goes, and UK wins (as per usual). I was doubly happy because not only did we win but my name also won, and my husband was doubly upset. I think he mostly was mad because they lost. Anyway, since that point he has told me that we can't use my name. He has claimed everything from it not being a serious bet (not true) to it was too close of a game to decide the name, so he says it's not fair that we use my name. He wants to go back to the drawing board and go through all the names again (OMG, no). The last argument is just plain crazy, too. The game was only close at the end, but still a loss is a loss.

I gave it some time to see if he would change his mind, but he hasn't. He still says that the bet was just a joke and he was never serious. I know he is being a sore loser, but I wonder if I should even try to hold him to the bet. I do like my name more, but I don't know if it's worth it to really pursue this. What do you guys think? Would you just try to pick another name, or would you hold your spouse to a bet like this?

tl;dr: Husband and I made a bet to determine which of our chosen names would be used for our son. Husband lost the bet and is now trying to back out. Should I hold him to it or try to find another name, even though he previously said he was okay with my name.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

While I can totally understand dude's shy girlfriend/wife having body issues like that as they gradually became comfortable enough with each other, they were also intimate together for 2 goddamn years while dating and girl never got comfortable enough to show her boobs at any point. Except OP was somehow okay enough with this to marry her and she has never gotten over it a year later! Why is he enabling her behavior and not addressing it? I am so confused. How are real people just fine with this crap? They must have the lowest combined self-esteem together.

La Brea Carpet posted:

Speaking of cats

My [29F] husband [29M] of 3 years and I couldn't agree on baby names, so we made a bet to determine what the name would be. I won and now my husband is refusing to honor the bet.

Adam Vegas posted:

Pick do you have cats and if so can you please post pictures of them

e: I will trade one (1) picture of my own cats for each one you post of yours

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

we've seen what the prospects for redditors are like, he figured she's not calling up his coworkers to accuse them of cheating with him or plotting to snare him into her sexual Johnny Got His Gun fantasies so what's a little benign mental illness


is there a way to contact the police and get both of them legally barred from naming babies

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

we've seen what the prospects for redditors are like, he figured she's not calling up his coworkers to accuse them of cheating with him or plotting to snare him into her sexual Johnny Got His Gun fantasies so what's a little benign mental illness

La Brea Carpet posted:

My [M/19] "best" friend [M/20] is obsessed with my grandmother [F/65] and I don't know how to get him to back off
When I came back he was loving OILING HER UP and staring at me suggestively.

Captain Yossarian posted:

I hope this works

Edit:

fruit on the bottom posted:

Just to other people? What if I talk to cats that way?

La Brea Carpet posted:

Speaking of cats

My [29F] husband [29M] of 3 years and I couldn't agree on baby names, so we made a bet to determine what the name would be. I won and now my husband is refusing to honor the bet.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

is there a way to contact the police and get both of them legally barred from naming babies

blarzgh posted:

This is loving hilarious.

quote:

Give your grandma more credit....she is undoubtedly aware what's going on and probably enjoys it. If I were you OP, I'd just really start ragging on him about his taste in older women. Offer to stop by the retirement home on your way out with him on weekends. Ask if he's met any new women at the Old Country Cookin' Buffet. If y'all are out, remind him that he needs to call his GF before she heads to bed at 5pm.

Khorne posted:

Jackson is okay and Noah is straight garbage. As the arbiter of good names I have spoken.

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Jackson could be okay, but in this case I'm pretty sure it's Stonewall not Pollock

blarzgh posted:

In fairness, naming children is hard. It really makes you take stock of all the people you hate.

Khorne posted:

Jackson is okay and Noah is straight garbage. As the arbiter of good names I have spoken.

Khorne posted:

Jackson is okay and Noah is straight garbage. As the arbiter of good names I have spoken.