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loquacius posted:Drive around with speakers on your car repeating "CHAOS REIGNS. RIOT IN THE STREETS. YOU ARE VERY AFRAID. THIS IS CHAOS TOWN NOW." over and over I'll differentiate myself from Antifa by throwing disemboweled foxes at people
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May 24, 2017 18:17
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Hnnnrgggg I just can't stop jerking off thinking about maybe getting to shoot some
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May 24, 2017 18:17
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Fake gay man, just say that you've always been more of a bisexual and nowadays youre into girls more. WIth all the genderfluid, pansexual poo poo going on today it wouldn't really be out of place  OR tell them the truth, but that's a huge issue since apparently you chose to sleep in the same bed as these girls and spoon with them and watch them undress and poo poo lol Fartbox fucked around with this message at 18:20 on May 24, 2017 |
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May 24, 2017 18:18
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For about three years we were living the dream of having costumed vigilantes in our city. I don't remember it having any noticeable impact on anything, except that it briefly made us home to weirder people than Portland.
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May 24, 2017 18:19
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Bachelorette parties are super obnoxious though, ask any bartender  I dunno, we wouldn't be telling him he had to go to a strip club if he were a fake lesbian being someone's best man; he shouldn't have to do a sex-adjacent thing he's not comfortable with  He could probably plan her a nice evening and peace out before the strip-club portion claiming some health issue or other, though. GOTTA STAY FAI posted:As for the fear of being drunk, covertly ask the bartender to serve you water on the rocks with a lemon slice and a straw in place of alcohol, and refuse any other drinks offered. I feel like a gay dude at a bachelorette party would be expected to be a little more flamboyant than that -- ask for pink lemonade in a martini glass. Foolproof.
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May 24, 2017 18:22
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Putty posted:i think I'm going to become a real life supervillain just to kick the rear end of anybody in tights Watch the sequel to kickass and become the Mother Fucker. He was a pretty good supervillain for a bit.
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May 24, 2017 18:24
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Spend the rest of your life pretending to be gay, never have non-anonymous sex. Other option is claiming your sexuality has slipped to the other side - that's a real thing that's happened to real people. Probably your best bet. Wait until after the wedding though and be maid of honor, you goddamn baby.
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May 24, 2017 18:24
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So you've seen all these attractive girls naked and spooned with them and never got a boner?
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May 24, 2017 18:28
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Maybe he actually is gay
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May 24, 2017 18:50
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They knew he was straight the whole time and have been gaslighting him
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May 24, 2017 19:05
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mkultra419 posted:Like a lot of mental health issues in the US, it depends a lot on the state as well. Licensure is a big deal in many of them, requiring a Masters degree and supervision under a fully licensed therapist. Often there are different tiers as well, so there is a lot of work you have to do before you can be a solo practitioner. I know of a therapist in a state requiring a masters and supervision etc. but he good ol boy'd his way through his masters in 1yr and all of the continuing ed / supervision he does the same. He also "councils" drunk drivers who are court ordered to get help and just basically signs off on the poo poo after they pay him and doesn't do anything to actually council him. He is a huge hypocrital garbage person.
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May 24, 2017 19:11
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Guessed both of those fake confessions in the first two sentences
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May 24, 2017 19:17
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RCarr posted:So you've seen all these attractive girls naked and spooned with them and never got a boner? haha I was thinking the same thing, no way you can spoon hot naked girls you like and not get a thousand boners also quote:She wants to visit a male strip club and go drinking. Two big problems - there's no way in hell I could be around nude men, let alone do it and still appear to be homosexual. And 2 - I don't routinely drink. I am terrified I will get drunk and my true heterosexual nature will come through. sounds like you're afraid that you're going to enjoy yourself a bit too much 
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May 24, 2017 19:20
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He'd just enjoy the naked male stripper ironically you guys
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May 24, 2017 20:38
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Police Automaton posted:He'd just enjoy the naked male stripper ironically you guys It's possible to be straight and go to a strip club and still have a good time. Penises aren't that scary, you know.
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May 24, 2017 20:57
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The Rabbi T. White posted:It's possible to be straight and go to a strip club and still have a good time. Penises aren't that scary, you know. Unless it's the spooky strip club, in which case all the penii are VERY scary
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May 24, 2017 20:59
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Watch the sequel to kickass and become the Mother Fucker. He was a pretty good supervillain for a bit. Alternatively, fake gay goon, watch the first Kick-rear end for an inspiring example of what can happen if you tell the truth, everything will go great Also, I don't care how fake it is, I need more Terrified Horny Umpire
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May 24, 2017 21:03
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ALFbrot posted:Alternatively, fake gay goon, watch the first Kick-rear end for an inspiring example of what can happen if you tell the truth, everything will go great Weirdly, Kick rear end is also presumed to be gay for most of the first book, making the not gay guy and the vigilante confessions blend into one. e: his i'm not gay confession in the book ends differently
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May 24, 2017 21:54
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Torquemada posted:Weirdly, Kick rear end is also presumed to be gay for most of the first book, making the not gay guy and the vigilante confessions blend into one. That's why I told the fake gay goon about it 
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May 24, 2017 22:04
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quote:Just found out my wife is cheating on me! In fact, she's been cheating on me since we were engaged 6 years ago. I am completely dumbfounded and don't know where to go from here. yikes yeah lawyer up and get out alternate take: your wife is in fact having an affair with a fabric store quote:My husband divorced me after I lost some of our nest egg in an investment scheme and accidentally hit our daughter with the car. It was a bad few weeks, not justifying what happened but it could have happened to anyone. My advice is don't do this I want to figure out how to put scare quotes around your scare quotes """breaking""" into his house yeah though he will probably not be happy to see that his drug-addict ex-wife with whom he has had no contact gained unlawful entry into his house and will call the cops on you; if you really must contact him I'd try sending him an email or something like a normal person
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May 24, 2017 22:06
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Your ex husband is going to freak out and call the cops, junkie goon
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May 24, 2017 22:08
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loquacius posted:My advice is don't do this
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May 24, 2017 22:10
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Yeah are there people who just crack open a cold one of heroin to unwind when they get home from work and that's all? I don't think that's a thing
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May 24, 2017 22:13
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Lol you cant stay a casual heroin user
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May 24, 2017 22:15
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loquacius posted:Yeah are there people who just crack open a cold one of heroin to unwind when they get home from work and that's all? I don't think that's a thing there are loads of those people right here on these very dead gay forums
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May 24, 2017 22:16
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quote:I have never had to use the gun on anyone. I've shot into the air twice, just to scare off some dangerous thugs who were definitely thinking of attacking me. Shooting your gun at anything except an imminent threat to your life is 100% illegal. Also, everyone should check out Super, which does a great job of portraying vigilante sprees as the cringefest they'd inevitably be: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IdM84YVmV0
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May 24, 2017 22:18
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Set up a dead man's switch to email in another confession if you get murdered, cheating wife goon.
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May 24, 2017 22:18
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quote:My husband divorced me after I lost some of our nest egg in an investment scheme and accidentally hit our daughter with the car. It was a bad few weeks, not justifying what happened but it could have happened to anyone. This basically how Lorna from OITNB ended up in prison 
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May 24, 2017 22:24
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Chuck Levine posted:I'm the gay male friend to a lot of girls The 'fact' that straight women are all ga-ga over gay men to be their platonic friends is loving Hollywood bullshit. Straight women do not need gay men to be someone who doesn't hit on them; they get that from their female friends. Straight women do not show gay men their boobs and say "do these look evenly matched?" Heck, they don't do that to their girl friends either. They do not "get naked and spoon" with gay men. (Most) women are not stupid; they would loving notice you staring at their boobs and see that you're sporting wood. After seeing I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, a gay friend of mine said he wanted to punch Adam Sandler in the dick.
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May 24, 2017 22:24
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Rent Boy posted:Now I'm a safe user - I only use it to relax after work. It's not an addiction any more. It's an addiction.
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May 24, 2017 22:29
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loquacius posted:yeah lawyer up and get out *prolonged intake of breath* LAWYER LAWYER LAWYER LAWYER LAWYER TALK TO A LAWYER BEFORE DOING ANYTHING LAWYER LAWYER LAWYER Do not:
Do:
Best of luck, friend. Don't obsess about it or what she's been doing. Just focus on you and moving on. Maybe look for somewhere else to live during the shitstorm that is about to happen so you don't end up pacing around the house you've lived in together for years, thinking about all the nasty poo poo she's done in it with other dudes. And maybe have some fun of your own, too. Don't be high-and-mighty about it--guys who've had their wives betray them like that tend to have lines around the goddamn block of people eager to warm their beds. GOTTA STAY FAI fucked around with this message at 22:49 on May 24, 2017 |
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May 24, 2017 22:44
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cuck goon get your wife addicted to heroin
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May 24, 2017 22:47
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quote:insane heroin addict ex-wife goon hi sunburnt_aphid
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May 24, 2017 22:54
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heroin addict fesh, you flew too close to the sun, like a fake bad icarus
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May 24, 2017 23:03
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alpaca diseases posted:cuck goon get your wife addicted to heroin now we're talking!
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May 24, 2017 23:17
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the last ones have all been fake and gay also, i'm gay
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May 24, 2017 23:19
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alpaca diseases posted:cuck goon get your wife addicted to heroin then watch her sleep 
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May 24, 2017 23:22
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loquacius posted:
She could give up the heroin, go to rehab / get on medication to treat heroin addiction, hire a lawyer to regain visitation, and reconcile that way or go through with the Underpants Gnome plan. Either way would work right?
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May 24, 2017 23:46
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Fake gay goon, man the gently caress up and organize that hen do. And go to the strip club and face the dong. Do not tell her the lie it is way too late for that. Also, I am guessing you are what you kids call an incel? Heroin addict goonette: casual heroin user? Hahaha I can't even say that with a straight face. You are an addict. Instead of accumulating B&E charges you should go to rehab. Otherwise you will end up dead sooner or later.
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May 25, 2017 00:30
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Yeah that's what people would call "high-functioning addict" Except you're not a high-functioning addict, you're just a plain addict. Get to rehab, and under no circumstances contact your husband without going through a lawyer first.
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May 25, 2017 00:42
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