Thumbtacks posted:

Here's a fun post on r/incels, the topic was dumb but the comment is real good, especially the website

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

Triple parentheses love

Bubblyblubber posted:

... (((love)))?

therobit posted:

Don't the triple parenths mean Jewish?

maskenfreiheit posted:

jewish women are the mostly likely of all faiths to list "pleasure" as the #1 reason to have sex

putrid aidsman posted:

putrid aidsman posted:

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

I mean whwn I was a younger man I had a Thing for punk rock girls

quote:

So I was watching a video right? It was a comic-kind of video, then i heard this one word and it was really catchy, that word was "Scrumpadoochous", and it was repeating over and over all over my head.I checked my messages to see if my crush had replied to my last text, she hadn't, so I texted her with "Scrumpadoochous" and she replied with "K". I don't get it, what am I doing wrong.

tl;dr My crush replied with "K"

quote:

I think our last episode (many years ago) included the highly seductive and inviting opening phrase, "Well, if you're gonna do this, do it now or else I'm going to sleep. < towel reluctantly moved to her side > "

Pick posted:

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

i love when nobody enjoys it and its a fuckin miserable experience, its my fetish

quote:

Then in those last waning years where we were still intimate, the routines and rules had to be followed. Not the week of, or week following her cycle (I'm a guy... it's hard for me to track that sometimes...and my 'window of opportunity' was now closed by half...). Kids had to be asleep for at least :30 minutes, :45 would be better. Both of us had to have a shower. And be completely dried off. ALL of the lights off. Not too late. No looking. Never in the morning. Never when both kids were gone - we could be doing housework, taxes, root canals, etc. Not too cold or hot. Socks on (her).

Pick posted:

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

all seems reasonable

quote:

I can't tell you how eye-opening and exasperatingly sad it was for me when I started crying during a Viagra commercial! A &%^&-ing commercial in the middle of a ball game! Here I am, a healthy, functioning male, and here's this lady willing to pack a pill in her carry-on for a weekend away... That's not the way the world works, is it? Women don't actually initiate sex, do they? Or even allow or account for it on a trip? They don't really like their husbands and having sex, do they?

Pick posted:

Pick posted:

Women don't actually initiate sex, do they? Or even allow or account for it on a trip?

Blue Train posted:

They also have fine rear end titties

maskenfreiheit posted:

you really like titties

quote:

Before my wife and I got together, she was dating this guy "Drew" a macho pot dealer and wanna-be music star. My wife "Claire" dated drew on/off in high school, broke-up but got back together during college. He had a tactic of always dumping her, she'd crawl back, and they'd be cool. Drew was a mess, someone who'd later take his own life. He was much older than Claire (he 10 years so). He was the cool guy who hung around campus, plied people with the best drugs, always knew where the party was and lived a very day to day existence. The story I had been told was that they broke up, we were introduced and that was that.

But, that's not the case. We were having a dinner to celebrate our recent pregnancy announcement when one of Claire's friends drank way too much, got too chatty and let it slip that our relationship wasn't serendipitous, but totally planned. Back when we were both 23, Claire and Drew (he was 33, remember) were planning a trip. He got the bright idea to sell some dope to fund the trip, and her friends & family sought to break them up. They finally succeeded in doing so during an "intervention" showing her how far he dragged her down. They split up and Drew being Drew, they knew he would come back around eventually. So they hatched a plan to get her to move on. It was decided that I would "be good for her" and it was planned (remember, this includes members of her family). I was friends with two of Claire's friends (and their respective boyfriends), so I was known. It began with them telling me that I needed to meet their friend Claire. They'd plan events, Claire and I would go and they wouldn't show up. This happened more than once (and me being dumb, I never put 2 +2 together). That summer, we went to a beach house as a group where interestingly, Claire and I were the only single people. Our sleeping arrangements didn't work, and low-and-behold, she and I need to share a room (I wound-up on the floor for a week).

Claire was in on this - they felt I'd be good for her and she thought so, too... so she helped them rig events so we'd always be alone. She thought I was quiet, nerdy but had all the qualities she wanted. I'll admit, we slept together at the beach house and from there, we began a relationship. So, it worked, we started dating at 23, were married at 26 and just announced we're having our first child. So, back in the present, I'm being told all of this for the first time. Claire's friend, getting blitzed at the most appropriate place - a celebratory early dinner - gives me the whole dirty list. I absolutely can't believe it. I ask Claire and she thinks it's no big deal - it worked. We're together, happy, with a soon-to-be family and she doesn't regret anything.

I can't help but feel I'm a consolation prize. I feel a little duped. I am very happy in my marriage and Claire has been nothing short of a great wife + friend... but, am I wrong to feel a little odd about this revelation?

tl;dr: My wife's friends created a plan so that she and I would date because I "would be good for her." It worked and we're married. I feel a little duped and am not sure how to process this. Definitely have a very happy/loving marriage, but I still can't help but feel odd about it. Appreciate everyone's perspective on this. Thanks.

quote:

My friend has a beautifully decorated home in the mountains. She invited me to spend a holiday weekend with her about 6 months ago. I live about 4 hours away. I went and we had a wonderful time catching up. I hadn't seen her in about a year, although I had been to her home several times over the many years that she has lived there and been my friend. Food, wine, card-playing, fresh air, it was lovely.

On the last day of my visit, I packed up my belongings and brought out my camera. I am old and don't own a cellphone. I just have a regular point and shoot digital camera. I took a picture of her dog as it sat on the living room rug, a picture of a flower arrangement she had on the table, and a picture of her fireplace.

When my friend saw the flash of the camera, she became outraged. "What are you doing?" she yelled. "Did you ask permission to do that?" Then she said it was extremely rude for me to come into someone's house and take pictures-there's no telling where they might end up! It was a violation of her privacy.

I think she believes that someone would somehow get the picture off my camera or off "the Internet" and break into her house to steal her belongings, although it's not like she has a Picasso hanging from the wall. Neither of us have a Facebook account either, so it's unlikely that she would have cause to assume that I would post the pictures in any way online, nor would I email the photos to anyone.

I apologized, but the rest of our conversation was extremely awkward. She was really angry and it was very uncomfortable. I was mortified to think that I had committed such a horrible faux pas, but when thinking about it now, it seems like she overreacted terribly.

We exchanged Christmas cards over the winter and we have never mentioned this incident. Now she wants to get together again for a long weekend at her house and I am a anxious about doing so. I wonder if I should go. I feel terrible for taking pictures inside my friend's house, but do you think she over-reacted? Should I try to remain friends with her?

tl;dr: I took a few pictures inside my friend's house and she became outraged.

maskenfreiheit posted:

you really like titties

quote:

Not sure in which reddit to go, sorry if not the proper place.

Warning - not sure if you wanna read what i am about to write

Met him on online dating website, met him once out - casual talks, he look adequate, open minded and smart. We didn't really chat after that, and i have been a bit cold if he tries to go for a naughty chat ( he wrote me 1-2 days after we met and nothing for 2-3 weeks till today)

Out of nowhere he wrote me to talk about experiences from childhood including other children and getting naked in front of each other. He started telling me about things he did with his sister ( at first sounded like innocent children play of dotors, etc ). He started saying he is turned on thinking about it- ok, not bothered about it, i've met another guy with such fantasies before, and he had a healthy attraction to women i'd say, was only some incest fetish.

But then when i said to [35M] little boys do these things probably, he started telling how cute *little boys body parts" are. That was the red flag. He mentioned it a few times more. Obviously he find little kids cute in the unhealthy way. I am not bothered by his fantasy about me at whatever age, i am bothered that he shares with me fantasies which i don't want to hear about and i told him to stop. To start with - why he would do it? How can he trust me, he does not know me or - he is a trained psychopath and it is trying to get something ( i think he uses manipulation tactics such as -" i knew you are a good person for 1h ", or - "eh, i am so embaressed, for the first time i share to someone and you push back", or he would try to share something, i will cut him and he will appologise. And more to get information for my childhood. He tries so hard and i give him almost 0 (i would reply with something not embarassing and rational), which makes him more ambitios.

So i am scared, all this happened for 30 minutes maybe, but i realize it all now. I don't know what is this guy thinking, I think he might be manipulative, i didn't want to hear anything about the children part and cut him everytime he tried.

I have him on social media, i don't know if it is rational to block him - he knows my name and number, can find me easily. I don't know if he would do that, but i am paranoid enough.

What will be best to do here? I would really need some piece of advise

Tl:dr - i think i met a person who is attracted to kids and not sure if i shall be scared

Doc Hawkins posted:

Kill...some women?

quote:

my ex bf (32M) who is/was the love of my life dumped me, but just came crawling back to me (27F) saying he hates his new life/wife. what should I do?Breakups
submitted 22 minutes ago by Vulpinox

First time poster, long time reader. I don't really care if nobody reads this, just typing it will help me get it off my chest and make me feel better. first a little backstory, I met my ex boyfriend (I'll call him J) online in 2011 while I was in the Navy and he was In Ohio. we talked for several years and met up a few times in person until 2013 when I left the Navy and found out he was being transferred from his job to San Antonio, my hometown.

we discussed it and decided to share an apartment in SA together as roommates. As things turned out we became lovers a few months after moving in together and soon began dating. he was the perfect guy for me, he was just as nerdy as me, had my dark sense of humor, was interested in all the things I was interested in, and while both of us were pretty big introverts we still preferred to spend all the time we could together. for 2 years, despite a few cultural differences (he's white, I'm Latina), things went amazing and each day was seemingly better than the last.

there was one issue between us however, he wanted children and marriage, while I did not like children and even though I wanted to be with him forever did not like the idea of marriage (I consider marriage to be an outdated tradition). this wasn't an issue until 2015, when he turned 30 and I noticed a change in him. I suppose he realized his biological clock was ticking, and despite always being a very gentle, loving and friendly man, he slowly he began to become less loving and more withdrawn and ignoring towards me. then in January of 2016, I come home to find him putting his things in a u-haul truck and telling me he was leaving, which shocked me. In desperation to get him to stay I offered to have his kids and marry him but he dropped a bombshell on me: he had become engaged to another woman behind my back and was expecting a child with her. he dumped me in a cruel way, and I was devastated, I had lost my best friend and one true love and for the first time I felt absolutely alone in the world.

2016 was a struggle, I battled depression, became somewhat of a recluse (as an introvert I had very few people I would consider friends, and the only time I left home was to go to work). despite that, I slowly began to heal and in 2017 have begun to go out more, socialize, and even found a few people who could replace J. fast forward to yesterday, when J shows up out of the blue on my doorstep begging my forgiveness. as it turns out his new wife is messy, vulgar, uncaring, materialistic, and he feels as if she doesn't love him. he had twins since we'd split, and the constant pressure of having to raise two children without getting any time for himself really got to him. ironically he admitted that he'd grown to despise the two things he had wanted most, children and marriage. he wanted desperately for me to forgive him, take him back, come home and continue the fun life we had. he rambled on for about 5 minutes, and when he was done I simply shut the door, having never said a word back to him. it felt good seeing him suffering, but last night I began to think about what he had said.

while part of me hates him and wants him to be miserable, another part of me would be thrilled to have my best friend/love of my life back. this has left me in conflict all day today, contemplating taking him back but realizing I can never trust him again. I really don't know how to feel about this and I'd like your opinions on this, reddit.

tl;dr my ex dumped me but a year later he hates his new wife/life and wants me to take him back, and i'm not sure what to do.

quote:

Found out my [32F] sister [28F] had sex with my then-ex husband [35M] while we were divorced. Husband and I have since remarried but I'm not sure how to process this new information.Relationships
submitted an hour ago by divorcedandremarried

This is complicated so apologies for that. I've simplified it as much as I can for clarity.

So my husband and I got married when I was 20 years old. I was probably too immature for a marriage, but I loved him and really believed it could work. Well we were divorced before we even hit the three year mark.

We barely spoke to each other for two years after that. But then (when I was 25) he called me out of nowhere to see how I was doing. We ended up dating again and got remarried two years after that.

So now we have been married five years total and things have honestly been amazing. We also now have a two year old daughter together who means the world to both of us.

However, I recently found out some disturbing information.

Turns out, not too long after my husband and I were officially divorced, he had a fling with my sister. I'm calling a fling because I don't know what else to call it and it was way more than a one night stand.

Turns out they were having sex for three months (sporadically) before they called it quits.

My sister has never told me this.

The only reason my husband told me was that I jokingly asked him when we were both kind of drunk if he thought my sister was hot. My mother had my daughter for the night and we were trying to just have a fun night in.

But for whatever reason, my husband thought I was serious or trying to trick him or I don't even know what. Maybe he was overcome with guilt. But that's when he decided to tell me about their little affair. At the time, my sister would have been around 19.

I was speechless. He started apologizing and he cried and said it was so long ago and he never would have wanted to hurt me. And by that point I was crying too.

We slept separately that night (and still are). In the morning I called my sister and said I wanted to come over her house to speak with her.

So I went over and told her what my husband said.

Well, rather than apologizing, she went ballistic. She asked why my husband would tell me this after all this time, and started saying he can't use her as an excuse to leave me if that's what he's planning. She also said it was malicious to tell me and that she's a married woman herself now and just on and on.

I let her finish lamenting, and then I cursed her out and left.

Since then, I haven't been answering her calls or texts and heaven help that girl if she shows up at my house.

My mother knows now (I guess my sister told her. Or maybe my sister told my brother and he told her. Doesn't really matter).

Anyway, according to mom, she knew my sister was going through a "slutty phase" back then (her words) but she had no idea this had happened. So mom is horrified.

As far as my husband is concerned, my mom thinks I should "just try to make it work for the baby" (my two year old).

As for my sister, I'm not sure I can even look at her again.

My older brother [34M] is the only one currently sympathizing with my sister as far as I know. He thinks I should forgive her but he would probably stick up for her if she killed someone, so that isn't surprising.

My sister's husband is also sending me texts saying she's distraught and I should answer her. Yup.

So.....that's pretty much all the feedback I have right now, and I'm hoping to hear from people that can be a little more objective.

What would you all do if you were me?

Tldr; husband and I got divorced and then re-married. We now have a toddler together. However, I found out that while we were divorced, my sister was having sex with my then ex-husband for about 3 months on and off. My sister kept it a secret and my husband only just revealed it. I've confronted my sister and now the whole family is basically in chaos.

Pick posted:

then in January of 2016, I come home to find him putting his things in a u-haul truck and telling me he was leaving, which shocked me. In desperation to get him to stay I offered to have his kids and marry him but he dropped a bombshell on me: he had become engaged to another woman behind my back and was expecting a child with her. 

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I stared for a long time and read and reread the comments (her friends telling her how "fierce" she was

Pick posted:

giiiiiiiiiirl

Pick posted:

Well, rather than apologizing, she went ballistic. She asked why my husband would tell me this after all this time, and started saying he can't use her as an excuse to leave me if that's what he's planning. She also said it was malicious to tell me and that she's a married woman herself now and just on and on.