/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

elise the great: May 1, 2012; You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Look, the 40M Japanese tutor has been hanging out with his new FIL for long enough to consider the guy a friend. So when FIL rages, there is a distinct possibility that he's looking back over their friendship and realizing that he wants better for the daughter he loves than the guy who brags after two or three beers about all the college-aged chicks he's nailed upstairs while their parents were home.

I mean, if the querent's first response wasn't to remind FIL that they've been friends for a while and FIL should know by now that nobody will ever treat his daughter better... then chances are good FIL knows he's a piece of poo poo. It sucks to feel like an rear end in a top hat has used you as a vector to get close to another person you love and exploit their vulnerabilities, especially if you know they're gonna hurt your loved one.

# ? May 27, 2017 01:21

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# ? May 28, 2024 13:29

Brainworm: Mar 23, 2007; ...one of these--
As he hath spices of them all, not all,
For I dare so far free him--made him fear'd...; Nap Ghost

Batterypowered7 posted:

He didn't elaborate much about the family friend thing, so I imagine it's more like "my cousin's friend" or something than "guy that spent so much time at my house that we're practically brothers", anyway.

Could be. Like, there's an entire Shakespearean tragedy about this and the upshot is "if your friend invites you to dinner where you meet and decide to pursue a relationship with his daughter, you can head off a conflict likely to escalate to fatal catastrophe by giving your friend a heads up instead of letting him discover your relationship in a way that makes him suspicious of your motives."

I mean, it's weird for something so central to western culture to have such a specific takeaway, doubly weird for someone to so directly act in contradiction of it, and triply weird to think that reddit advice can pull this situation out of the ditch.

Like, "r/relationships: I've been burning children as offerings to a golden bull. Now the sons of Levi are butchering my people. How can I fix this?"

# ? May 27, 2017 01:21

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Ah, I feel stupid for asking this one. But which Shakespeare is that again?

# ? May 27, 2017 01:44

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

maskenfreiheit posted:

My [36M] wife [39F] has been cheating on me with a college student [19M] for three months! She's a cop and she met him while on the job!

This guy needs to split up and move ASAP or else he's going to be getting pulled over on a daily basis.

# ? May 27, 2017 01:50

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

I think a guest using a dinner invite as an excuse to gently caress in the host's house is a little gauche in general, but I guess I'm just old fashioned that way.

# ? May 27, 2017 01:51

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

so much sex negativity itt

# ? May 27, 2017 01:52

13Pandora13: Nov 5, 2008; I've got tiiits that swingle dangle dingle

maskenfreiheit posted:

so much sex negativity itt

Look I'm just saying, if I were going to gently caress my dad's hot friend (Matrix era Keanu Reeves lookin' dude) I'd have the courtesy to not do it in my parent's house is all.

# ? May 27, 2017 01:57

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

13Pandora13 posted:

Look I'm just saying, if I were going to gently caress my dad's hot friend (Matrix era Keanu Reeves lookin' dude) I'd have the courtesy to not do it in my parent's house is all.

i got the impression she is living with her parents, so yeah if you don't want here taking it from your dinner guests buy her a condo i guess :shrug:

# ? May 27, 2017 01:59

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; Can't post for 14 days!

fruit on the bottom posted:

Sat down on my friend's MacBook and broke it, offered to pay her the money for it but now she wants more because "she was upgrading anyway" so it's this or she will sue me in small claims court.

Oh man it's like a Judge Judy

# ? May 27, 2017 02:07

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

A girl I like [16F] prank called me [17M] after I gave her my number

quote:

So I give this girl my number, everything seems fine, then later I get a weird call from her. She asks if I like her.. I ask her to clarify. She asks if I like her as a person in general, I say yes. I start hearing giggling in the background, she asks if I love her, I just happen to be walking and see her with her friends on her phone. Although I do like her, I don't wanna make a fool of myself, so I don't answer and instead say "thats a weird question". She asks if I wanna go out, I just give a casual "ok" and she says bye and hangs up.

Should I stop pursuing the relationship?

# ? May 27, 2017 02:11

Brainworm: Mar 23, 2007; ...one of these--
As he hath spices of them all, not all,
For I dare so far free him--made him fear'd...; Nap Ghost

fruit on the bottom posted:

Ah, I feel stupid for asking this one. But which Shakespeare is that again?

That's Othello. The Sparknotes are that Othello (an older muslim general) and Desdemona (a girl from Venice) get married and it ends in murder/suicide.

They meet because Brabantio (Desdemona's father) makes a habit of inviting Othello over for dinner, and Othello is a legit interesting guy. Desdemona falls for him, and things start going wrong when they decide to elope in the middle of the night.

Brabantio flips his poo poo when he finds out his daughter's missing, since he doesn't know whether this means she's married or kidnapped or dead. So when he finds out the marriage is legitimate, he's still super pissed at Othello because the embarrassing hassle of calling the cops and the mayor and a search party could have been avoided if Othello had treated him like a friend rather than an obstacle.

The rest of the story: Brabantio tells Othello that Desdemona can do better, planting a seed of doubt that one of Othello's discontended underlings eventually nurtures into a tragedy.

So I'm really looking forward to the update on this one.

# ? May 27, 2017 02:14

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

long, but gold

I [26/F] became extremely attached to my very bad influence of a coworker [46/F], until I spectacularly crossed the line while blacked out. How do I move the hell on?

quote:

I say "crossed the line" but I think the line was crossed way before this point, and this just sort of made it VERY clear to both of us that the entire relationship was a horrible horrible mistake.

Let's call her K. We have worked together for over two years now--she is very much my senior, but the head of a different department, so she is in no way my boss. But I work for an extremely small organization, so we all work closely together.

Last year, she noticed I was extremely stressed and offered to be an ear if I needed to vent. I took her up on it, and a strange mentorship seemed to develop, where I had always looked up to her greatly for her strength, wit, and independence, and she could relate to a lot of the issues I was going through from her own past.

It very quickly became bizarre to me, and to everyone I told about the situation.

I wanted to keep talking, and so she invited me to her apartment one Saturday, where "talking and drinks" on her apartment complex's roof turned into getting wasted, smoking weed, and making friends with strangers until 2am--then waking up the next morning on her couch. She lives in a studio apartment, and I remember clearly the next morning being afraid this was going to be the most mortifying moment of my life; instead, she casually bustled around me, candidly saying she was definitely still drunk and her mouth felt like a cat had pissed in it. We went out to breakfast, she took a call about work from a coworker we both knew, and she made no mention of the night, or the fact that I was there with her.

This happened repeatedly.

I am much more comfortable with written word than speaking, and so I used to text her when stressed (to her encouragement--when I told her I thought I was bothering her, she would say to me, "I will tell you when you're bothering me, and you're not bothering me."). Sometimes long, sarcastic, cathartic rants.

Often, I'd get no reply--but still she always insisted she would tell me if it was problem, and she always told me it was fine. At one point, she honestly did suggest it was too much--and then when I backed off, a week later she asked me why I hadn't texted her in a while. Her actual words from that day: "It's ok to text me, you know..."

I'd occasionally ask if she was around to hang out or talk, but I never insisted on seeing her, or made her feel like she had to do something. When we met up, it was always because I was explicitly invited by her. Sometimes she would just randomly call me up to tell me a friend was coming over or to invite me to have a drink on her porch.

And when we met up, we almost always got extremely drunk--again, not because of any encouragement from me. Oftentimes, she would start the night saying, "I have to get to bed early tonight" and then at 9pm, she would suddenly catch a wave of energy and ask me if I wanted to go out to a bar with her.

I've ended up crashing at her place three times--I've met countless strangers with her, a handful of whom she would invite back to her place and we'd all hang out on her porch together like old friends until 2, 3, 4am. I've seen her make out with strangers, fall and hurt herself, get extremely angry and scream in my face, ditch me in a bar all alone, among other things my white-bread WASP life had not really experienced until I met her.

I never felt like her friend. I felt like I needed her, and I depended on her, looked up to her immensely, and she was a source of advice and emotional catharsis for me. She was someone to be hosed up with, and I associated her with getting drunk and not giving a poo poo and feeling cool. In truth, I knew she was lonely and scared and extremely insecure. I think part of me felt like I had to idealize her because it helped with my own fear of becoming her. If I saw becoming like her as a good thing instead of a bad thing, then maybe in 20 years I would be happy instead of terrified.

She was there for me during moments in my life I really, really struggled with. She was there for me when I hardly had any friends at all. I really felt like I needed her. And yet I knew she was volatile--I knew she had turned cold on a former coworker for no good reason after having a similar relationship to mine--close and mentor-like, only to be totally shut out and hated at the drop of a hat.

But I hosed up--I own that. I totally, officially, crossed the line.

I met her for drinks and I blacked out. I wish I knew the details that led me to being in a bar bathroom by myself unable to call myself an Uber, but after missing two cars that I tried to call, I somehow found myself INSIDE her apartment.

Her apartment, which, I guess, she had left unlocked. And her apartment that she was not inside. In fact, she'd had no idea that I went there until I texted her (according to my phone--again, no memory, and it only becomes a little clear in my brain at this point). I am on her floor crying because I don't know what to do or, I guess, how to get home.

I am assuming I went there because it was the safest place I knew how to get to in my very drunk state--but that is absolutely no excuse. I literally broke the law by going into her apartment without her knowledge or invitation.

She comes in and immediately screams at me to leave. I recall her grabbing me to throw me out--though she implied in a vague text later that she did no such thing. She was the one to successfully call me an Uber to get me home. That is all I remember. I don't remember what was said, or anything else about the night. I do remember sending her a series of extremely incoherent and creepishly obsessive texts about how I was pissed she had ditched me and was mad she'd been screaming at me and just wanted to be like her and I loved her (?!?!) and that I was sorry.

I texted her apologizing the next morning, and then texted again about a week later asking if we could actually talk. She responded saying yes--"We will talk about this." I replied with a more thorough, genuine apology, explaining that being drunk is no excuse for doing something so inappropriate and invasive and that I was genuinely sorry for my behavior.

I heard nothing for over a week--so I pinged her again, making it clear I'd still like to talk.

Still nothing, so a few weeks later I tried to extend an olive branch by explaining I'd been sober for a few weeks.

Stilllll nothing. So one last time I said that I still really wanted to face her and apologize--but continued to have no response.

Meanwhile, for this month of no replies to my texts, we were working together, sometimes very closely. It was completely civil.

It has been yet another month since that last attempt to contact her, and I've not made any attempt to talk about anything except work with her since. We traveled for work together in a group of just five people and put on an entire event. I kept my distance, made it only about work.

I loving hate myself. She's doing this on purpose. We are practically aggressively nice to each other in the office. I probably talk to her more candidly and confidently now than I ever did before.

And yet she can't give me the closure of a single phrase to either say "I am still mad and I can't forgive you" or "You're fine, just let it go, but we can't be friends" or even "I'll reach out when I'm ready, but not yet."

At this point, I can't keep waiting for any response from her, because I don't think it will ever come. I think she's a crazy person. I KNOW I'm a crazy person. And I hate myself for still hating myself over this. I know it's selfish to need her to forgive me...but I loving need her to forgive me.

I am having so much trouble letting this go.

tl;dr: Coworker was a mentor to me, but she's an alcoholic and I certainly also have a drinking problem. The mentorship was mostly us getting extremely drunk together and meeting strange people. I started to feel like I desperately needed her (and she almost never told me to back off, even when explicitly asked). It finally got out of hand, and I blacked out and tresspassed in her apartment, which made her (understandably) furious. Now I have had zero contact with her since--except that we work together every day. So despite ignoring my texts to talk about what happened and allow me to apologize, we are being hunky-dory coworkers, leaving me feeling extremely guilty, abandoned, confused, and totally unforgiven. I am having a lot of trouble moving on.

# ? May 27, 2017 02:15

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Woof

# ? May 27, 2017 02:20

Tokyo Sexwale: Jul 30, 2003

maskenfreiheit posted:

long, but gold

I [26/F] became extremely attached to my very bad influence of a coworker [46/F], until I spectacularly crossed the line while blacked out. How do I move the hell on?

holy poo poo, this was worth the read

lady you need to find a new job if you can't move past this and heal, jesus

# ? May 27, 2017 02:28

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

I thought they were loving but she is just a friend that she did a really stupid thing to?

Like she is just being dramatic here.

# ? May 27, 2017 02:32

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Of course it's Othello.

# ? May 27, 2017 02:47

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Brainworm posted:

That's Othello. The Sparknotes are that Othello (an older muslim general) and Desdemona (a girl from Venice) get married and it ends in murder/suicide.

They meet because Brabantio (Desdemona's father) makes a habit of inviting Othello over for dinner, and Othello is a legit interesting guy. Desdemona falls for him, and things start going wrong when they decide to elope in the middle of the night.

Brabantio flips his poo poo when he finds out his daughter's missing, since he doesn't know whether this means she's married or kidnapped or dead. So when he finds out the marriage is legitimate, he's still super pissed at Othello because the embarrassing hassle of calling the cops and the mayor and a search party could have been avoided if Othello had treated him like a friend rather than an obstacle.

The rest of the story: Brabantio tells Othello that Desdemona can do better, planting a seed of doubt that one of Othello's discontended underlings eventually nurtures into a tragedy.

So I'm really looking forward to the update on this one.

that... is an extremely unconventional reading of Othello

CharlestheHammer posted:

I thought they were loving but she is just a friend that she did a really stupid thing to?

Like she is just being dramatic here.

two neurotic cat-laden ships passing in the night

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 02:56 on May 27, 2017

# ? May 27, 2017 02:51

Brainworm: Mar 23, 2007; ...one of these--
As he hath spices of them all, not all,
For I dare so far free him--made him fear'd...; Nap Ghost

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

that... is an extremely unconventional reading of Othello

A lot of emphasis on the first act and of course I left out Iago.

High school and college teachers play up the race difference in Othello like it's the only one that matters. But the play really sings when Othello's insecurities are more particular.

# ? May 27, 2017 03:17

Lonely Virgil: Oct 9, 2012

maskenfreiheit posted:

long, but gold

I [26/F] became extremely attached to my very bad influence of a coworker [46/F], until I spectacularly crossed the line while blacked out. How do I move the hell on?

She definitely tried to put the moves on the old gal or maybe they were loving the entire time. Who knows.

# ? May 27, 2017 03:50

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

This one isn't really even tangentially related to relationship drama but I think it's still amazing.

Vet clinic is using tainted ketamine.

quote:

A friend obtained vials of ketamine from a clinic and I injected it. I've done Ketamine before, and the disassociation feeling was definitely not completely Ketamine. It also made me very nauseous and caused me to non-stop vomit and faint for a day after I took it. I somehow convinced myself that maybe I was having a bad reaction because I drank a beer before, so I tried again, and had the same effect but it was worse this time. My roommate saw me getting sick and took me to the hospital and I now have mad hospital bills.

This is probably a long shot, but can I sue the vetinarian clinic or the distributor for having tainted Ketamine?

# ? May 27, 2017 03:57

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Got involved with creepy craigslist man (pics for $) now FBI are investigating. Do parents have to find out? Also will I get in trouble for evidence of drug use they may find when searching my phone?

quote:

I live in Colorado.

Okay so it all started on the craigslist gigs section. I was in need of money and there was a post looking for an "open-minded female texting only relationship, $50/week" or something along those lines. I went for it and ended up with a pretty sweet arrangement and was making bank for doing very little, he was pretty creepy and kept pressuring me for more and more and offering ridiculous sums of money to meet up but thankfully I was not gullible enough to do so.

Anyways, I have two friends who are both 17 who heard that I was doing this and wanted in. This man had actually asked me for other girls and so I decided to recruit my friends (This was a serious mistake on all ends as all three of us knew the risks but figured most 17 year olds send nudes and it wasn't that big of a deal...WRONG) They both talked to him for a short period of time, both sending full nudes (yes I am now aware this is considered child pornography) then ended it and blocked him.

Anyways then I get a phone call from an FBI agent who wants to meet with me regarding this man. Turns out this guy is pretty dangerous, he'd gotten girls to move to other states, pimped them out, conned people out of money etc. So I told the agent what I knew but didn't mention my friends cause I didn't want to screw them over. Then I realized they had the guys phone tracked so I called the agent that night to tell him about my friends, after consulting with them. They were both concerned about parents finding out so I asked if he could not tell and he assured me he would try to keep parents out of it.

I don't hear anything for a while, then the agent calls me and tells me there's someone new on the case The new guy meets with me and they take my phone to search for deleted messages and so on. I wanted to make sure he understood that I didn't want to screw my friends over and wanted to try to keep their parents out of it. He didn't take me seriously and brushed it off saying "Oh all kids do stupid things." I asked multiple times to get the point across and each time he was indirect and avoided the question.

The thing is, both of my friends come from very christian homes and something like this would permanently damage their relationships. I feel terrible for getting them into this situation and I honestly just want to make it as painless as possible. There is no real reason their parents need to find out, but this agent doesn't seem to care how he affects them.

I want to know if, legally, he is obligated to tell their parents? Is there a way that he could contact them directly, or is that not allowed? What should I say to ensure he doesn't? If he does tell the parents what will he say? Like I'm assuming he's not going to read the explicit texts to the parents but is there any way to know how much will the parents will be told?

Also, my friends are not in legal trouble and are seen as victims by the FBI if that is relevant.

I realize we were stupid and made a mistake and we have to face the consequences, but if I can help it I want to do everything in my power to preserve their family relationships.

Also a side note-there is most likely evidence of drug use/drug deals in my deleted texts. If they find these will I be in trouble or will they leave it because it is irrelevant to the case?

TL;DR-Stupidly got my underage friends involved with a sugar daddy, legally does the FBI agent have to tell their parents? Also if they find evidence of drug use will I be charged even though it is separate?

edit: corrected a pronoun issue that made it seem like I called the guy to tell him he was under investigation...that never happened

# ? May 27, 2017 04:00

Barudak: May 7, 2007

fruit on the bottom posted:

This one isn't really even tangentially related to relationship drama but I think it's still amazing.

Vet clinic is using tainted ketamine.

Can you even imagine the look on the lawyers face as he starts asking if he has a case here? Like I assume the lawyer just starts calling in more people into the room because they have got to see that until the room is full to bursting.

# ? May 27, 2017 04:03

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

fruit on the bottom posted:

This one isn't really even tangentially related to relationship drama but I think it's still amazing.

Vet clinic is using tainted ketamine.

Didn't know where this was going, :hmbol:

at the end

# ? May 27, 2017 04:13

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Found this gem in /r/legaladvice:
[TEXAS] Alamo Drafthouse women-only screening of Wonder Woman? (self.legaladvice)

quote:

Alamo Drafthouse Austin has announced it will have women-only screenings of Wonder Woman. Is this considered discrimination? They specifically state "no guys allowed".

# ? May 27, 2017 04:16

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

fruit on the bottom posted:

This one isn't really even tangentially related to relationship drama but I think it's still amazing.

Vet clinic is using tainted ketamine.

I want to have that court case read by rick and morty.

# ? May 27, 2017 04:18

Turtlicious: Sep 17, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

r/legaladvice
[NSFW] Simulated child porn, incest and legality - In porn and in home

quote:

Okay - so in the USA, Child porn is illegal, simulated child porn (a person of age pretending to be a minor) is illegal, incest and simulated incest is illegal, even while depicted in porn.

I'm trying to clarify a few things.

As far I can tell - what is illegal about these things is the recording and intent to distribute this. So, if I starred in an adult film and pretended to be below the age of 18, with the intent to distribute it, it would be considered possession of simulated child pornography.

But what if I do extreme ageplay in the privacy of my own home with a consenting partner? Is it only illegal once it's been recorded?

I'm just trying to get some clarification

Thanks!

Not sure why I'm getting downvoted to gently caress for asking a real question?

# ? May 27, 2017 04:20

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Me [40F] with my uncle [42 M], who is an "unschooler" and whose kids can't read at age 10 - how concerned should I be?

quote:

He and his wife believe that the kids shouldn't be forced to study anything until till they express a desire to learn it. So far, their expressed desires include

playing Minecraft

All about fires: starting, preventing, putting out, evacuating in the event of - only because a neighbor lost her puppy in a fire

making friendship bracelets

When they have no expressed interests, which is 99% of the time, they learn by living. Whatever that means, it does not include learning to identify coins, nor any letters not in their own names, but the kids are happy and outgoing.

Other relatives had expressed some concern over taking this view to extremes, and demand that I "do something." I didn't really understand until I visited for Christmas this year.

The kids were unable to play any board games more advanced than Sorry, couldn't play the video game Animal Crossing without Mom reading the screen to them, or help the cousins "play Santa" by distributing gifts under tree to the proper recipient. They couldn't sound out Sam or identify packages for Grandma, even after it was pointed out that anything beginning with a G was for her. The boy was unable to identify a quarter till his twin said "Its the big one, stupid," at which point the entire world stopped revolving for a prolonged discussion of respecting others.

Uncle and wife call their approach Waldorf-Monte-Sudbury, whatever that means, after some supposedly wonderful educational approaches. They also: talk incessantly about making good choices, insist that kids being kids is natural and beautiful, claim that public schools are abusive (in front of kids who attend them), continue to breastfeed their 5 year old, and frequently mention their genius IQs (both parents, and likely accurate).

They live in a state with very broad homeschooling laws and there is no agency-type recourse here without a level of evidence I cannot provide. Those who have challenged these two in the past were immediately cut off completely from all contact with them or the kids. As I live far away, I'm the obvious next to try.

tl;dr: Uncle and wife determined that kids will choose their own educational adventure, or not; other relatives seem to think I can fix this.

EDIT: I asked them to explain it to me. They claimed that "research" shows that kids who learn late learn just as well, that math at almost any level can be caught up within a year, etc. I asked them, pretending fascination, to send me links, but I'm pretty sure they saw through me. I couldn't keep the skepticism hidden.

I'm back home now, but I am planning to confront them over the phone after the holidays are over. I don't see it going well.

EDIT 2: You convinced me, so I did make a phone call to their state's CPS. I was surprised that they connected me so quickly on a holiday, but it was all downhill from there. Home school isn't illegal, maybe the kids are slow learners, and you wouldn't believe the people who try to report the parents in home school situations. I guess i was seen as a nosy busybody.

quote:

Thank you. Unfortunately one of the relatives was cut off just because he tried to encourage the then-9-year-old twins to read. The parents were enraged because of his attempt to "coerce" the kids into reading.

As far as peers, they interact mostly with a small group of kids raised by like-minded parents, but do encounter others. Another cousin told me a story of going out for ice cream. They couldn't identify the flavors, and a girl matter-of-factly asked if they were retarded and offered to read them the labels.

Television and movies make it pretty clear most kids their age can read.

I worry that they've become so self-conscious about not reading that at this point, they're afraid to try.

# ? May 27, 2017 04:26

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Gonna post seriously and say execute every unschooler

# ? May 27, 2017 04:42

Barudak: May 7, 2007

maskenfreiheit posted:

Found this gem in /r/legaladvice:
[TEXAS] Alamo Drafthouse women-only screening of Wonder Woman? (self.legaladvice)

People are super pissed about this. Wonder if this is the same dude who tweeted about having "only one screening" is equivalent to saying "were only relocating some jews" as though this is the first step in global gendercide.

# ? May 27, 2017 04:43

SuddenExpire: Jun 29, 2005; expired...

dudeness posted:

Me [40F] with my uncle [42 M], who is an "unschooler" and whose kids can't read at age 10 - how concerned should I be?

I wish my uncle was 2 years older than me <3

# ? May 27, 2017 04:57

Unload My Head: Oct 2, 2013

SuddenExpire posted:

I wish my uncle was 2 years older than me <3

I'm betting on some strong correlation between that fact and the whole "crazy rear end in a top hat ruins his kid's lives" thing.

The fact that they live in a state were CPS won't lift a finger also strongly supports my trailer-based theory.

# ? May 27, 2017 05:15

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

dudeness posted:

Me [40F] with my uncle [42 M], who is an "unschooler" and whose kids can't read at age 10 - how concerned should I be?

I remember this one. I think someone said they knew some unschooled kids that turned out alright?

# ? May 27, 2017 05:23

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Batterypowered7 posted:

I remember this one. I think someone said they knew some unschooled kids that turned out alright?

Those would definitely be exceptions to the rule

# ? May 27, 2017 05:28

Larry Parrish: Jul 9, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Pick posted:

gasp

This is viral marketing for the next season of good morning call

# ? May 27, 2017 05:39

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Oops totally missed that the unschooling post was done before.

Me [23F] with my SO [23M] of 3 years claims he is now possessed by a demon and is acting a bit weird

quote:

I know that the title sounds ridiculous, and I know that theoretically if this doesn�t let up I should probably leave him, but honestly I have no idea what the gently caress is going on and really need to know if anyone else has seen anything like this before.

Some background: my SO is wonderful. We fight occasionally - I�m pretty Type A and can get in my own head about issues, whereas he�s much more Type B and doesn�t take things as seriously as I think he sometimes should. However, we communicate well about these issues normally and function very well together. He�s thoughtful, kind, funny, sweet, handsome, and empathetic, and gives great compliments that never fail to boost my self esteem and make me feel lucky to be with him even after all this time.

Two important pieces of information are necessary here. The first is that he�s not averse to playing practical jokes. He�s been good about them not being mean in any way after we�ve discussed it, but sometimes he gets carried away. One example: during a week that was really stressful for me due to family issues, he stayed home sick through an afternoon class once, complaining of stomach pain. I spent a couple hours in my own class worrying about his appendix via text, but he waved it away as nothing serious.

When I got home I found him unmoving on the ground with what was (in my defense) extremely realistic blood all over his right side. I screamed and ran to him, at which point he sat up and gave a little speech about how he�d been murdered horrifically and I was the only person who could save him. He�d stayed home to create a murder mystery for me, with clues around the apartment and different characters that he played, complete with funny voices. It was exactly what I needed to distract me and we spent a great two hours role-playing as detective and reticent witness(es). Afterwards I told him gently how touched I was that he�d gone through all this effort to make me feel better, but that the stomach pain had been an unnecessary touch and made me worry about him. He immediately agreed and apologized, and since then he�s been careful to avoid any practical jokes like that in the future.

The second is that he�s always been somewhat interested in magic and occult stuff. He used to read and watch a bunch on the subject and has recently become very interested in �real� magic thanks to a friend of his he met recently. His friend is even more into this stuff and is a nice enough guy, but it�s a little strange how seriously he takes it.

Anyway, his friend takes him to some late night event in the woods somewhere with other people into the occult where they say they�re trying to raise a demon, or an �entity� as his friend called it. I think it�s weird but am used to my SO�s curiosity in this stuff, and find it mostly harmless and pretty interesting. I like creepy movies so I understand the appeal. I wished them well, joked that they need to make sure not to end the world, and said goodbye. It�s worth mentioning that it was pretty clear to me at this point my SO didn�t expect anything to happen, he just wanted to witness the ceremony or whatever first-hand.

When my SO comes back I ask him how it went and he says that it went great and that he�s possessed by a demon now. I laugh, think nothing of it, and we go to bed.

Over the next week or so I started noticing some subtle changes in his behavior. First of all, he seems to sleep less. He used to sleep in much later than me, but now he�s up before me every morning, including the time I had to get up to finish a paper at 5 am. Also, he acts slightly different in a subtle way. Part of it is how he looks at me. You know how when you get used to someone being around, you stop looking at them all the time when you�re reading on the couch or whatever? It was like he regressed to when we first started dating. Whenever we�re together, he�s always looking at me and paying attention to what I�m doing. We watch Netflix before bed a lot of nights and this is weird to say but he pays a lot more attention to me during it then he used to, stroking my shoulder and looking at me when I gasp during scary scenes and kissing my neck gently when things get slow. It�s nice, but a little weird how he doesn�t seem interested in the shows that much when I know that he loves watching tv.

He�s also stopped playing video games and smoking weed at night, which he never used to do excessively but was definitely a way he would blow off steam in the past. He seems to be studying a lot more too. He�s smart enough that he always could manage about a 3.4 GPA with what I would call moderate studying (at least compared to me who spends tons of time on my homework, usually anyway). He�s also stopped swearing casually, which is weird because we both have mouths like a couple of sailors honestly.

After about two weeks of me gradually noticing the behavior change I confronted him about the issue. He sat me down and explained that he knew this was weird but that he was genuinely possessed by a demon. He claimed that he knows because he can feel a slight pressure on the right side of his head/mind that he never did before. He says it�s inspired him to become a better student and want to succeed more in life and that�s accounted for the lifestyle changes.

I told him that I�m glad that he�s taking school and personal responsibility very seriously, but this is a weird way to go about it and I don�t think it�s a very funny joke. He said that he doesn�t expect me to believe him, but it�s true. I get pretty pissed and start firing what-ifs, like what if while possessed he tries to attack me? He assured me that he�s the exact same person, it�s like he�s just carrying something around with him that has no input on his life besides helping him understand the importance of it.

By this point I�m assuming that he�s manifesting schizophrenic symptoms or something, and ask him to get an appointment with a therapist. He agrees to this, although says that the possession is way too subtle for them to notice and it won�t do any good, but that if it makes me feel better he�s happy to go.

I looked up schizophrenia and delusions of demonic possession, but all I found was a bunch of dumb stuff about how What If Schizophrenics Are Actually Just Possessed by Demons? Nothing seemed concrete or matched his symptoms at all.

By this point I�m honestly just at a loss. Yes, he�s being really strange, probably intentionally, but I think he probably just took mushrooms or something and convinced himself that the whole demon poo poo was real in an attempt to embark on this self-improvement odyssey he�s on now. On the one hand, it kind of bothers me that he�s still keeping the fiction going, but on the other hand, it seems really loving dumb to break up with someone because they�re making a sincere effort to be a better person, regardless of the cause.

Sorry, this was really long, but I�m nonplussed as to what to do next. His therapy appointment is coming up fast and that will definitely help in discovering if it's due to mental illness, but beyond that I have no idea what to do. Does anyone have any kind of experience like this? All advice would be appreciated, I feel like I can�t talk to my family about this because I love this guy and wanted (and still want) to marry him someday and don�t want them thinking he�s a total weirdo if this is just some brief self-improvement phase or something.

TL;DR: My occult-loving boyfriend went off to some �magic� ceremony in the woods and came back claiming he�s possessed. Have definitely noticed behavior changes in him but nothing threatening and nothing that matches up with any mental illness I can find online. I don�t want to throw away a previously perfect relationship just because he�s on a brief odd streak, but I also have no idea where to go from here to help things get back to normal. What the hell do I do?

# ? May 27, 2017 05:54

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Satan says study hard, get good grades, and call your mother on the weekends

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 06:11 on May 27, 2017

# ? May 27, 2017 06:06

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

My [22F] younger brother [19M] has been acting strangely possessive of me and is accusing me of being jealous of his girlfriend when I confront him about it

quote:

My brother and I have always been very close. Growing up, we were each other�s best friends. We�ve been through a lot of stuff � our parents� divorce, death of a few family members, even a devastating house fire when we were little. Even though we�re both adults now, we still really rely on and trust each other.

After graduating high school, I went to college in a different state. I felt really bad for leaving my brother behind, but other than our parents being divorced, our home life had always been great. He was still rather upset with the fact that I was leaving and didn�t want to stay home to be with him. I felt (and still feel) like it was a little unreasonable for him to react that way. I promised that I would call and visit as frequently as possible.

When my brother graduated from high school, he asked if he could come live with me. It wasn�t too strange for him to ask. We lived in a small town, and the place I moved was a bigger and more interesting city. Since he had decided not to go straight to college, it seemed like moving to the city with me was his only chance to get out of our hometown. I told him that we could look for a new place for when my lease was up (I lived in a studio apartment and wasn�t about to share that tiny space with and 18 y/o boy). Ultimately, we found a reasonable two bedroom and moved into it right before my classes started.

Things were a little weird right off the bat. He got very upset when he found out that I had been casually dating. It seemed like he was upset that I hadn�t told him. He was mad that we were �drifting apart� so far that I wouldn�t tell him that I was dating, even if I wasn�t in a committed relationship or anything. Then he asked me if I could refrain from bringing guys over to our home. When I asked him why, he said it made him uncomfortable. I told him I could respect that while I was just casually dating guys, but if I got into a relationship, I would certainly be bringing my boyfriend over. �We�ll cross that bridge when we come to it,� he told me.

Well, we got to that bridge. I had a new boyfriend and decided to confront my brother about having him over. I hadn�t told my boyfriend why I insisted that we always hang out at his apartment, and he didn�t ask. We got into a huge screaming fight where my brother basically told me that college guys only want sex and that I should be focusing on school. I couldn�t believe this was happening. When I told him that I was an adult and would do what I wanted, he reminded me that he paid rent and had input into what went on in his home. We compromised that my boyfriend could come over but wouldn�t stay overnight. I told him that solution would work for the time being but we would need to reassess. Again�he told me we would cross that bridge when we came to it.

After having this same argument two or three times, I told my brother that if he wasn�t willing to stop being weird about this, I wasn�t going to be living with him once the lease was up. He apologized profusely but continued to insist that he was right in this situation. Finally he told me that he would let me make my own mistakes.

Unfortunately, things didn�t go well with that boyfriend. We broke up (for reasons unrelated to my brother). Of course, my brother took advantage of this to tell me that he was right and that I should�ve listened to him. Around that time, I called my mom and told her about how weird he was being. She insisted that he was trying to take the place of our father, since he hadn�t really been involved in our lives since they were divorced. Even if that�s true, I still didn�t feel like it justified his behavior.

Over the summer, a friend of mine was getting married so I was out of town for the wedding. When I came home, a bunch of my stuff was missing. Stuff like my perfume, some clothes and lotion. I asked my brother about it but he denied taking any of it. He told me that he�d had some friends over so they must�ve taken my stuff. He told me that he would deal with it and get my stuff back. He did eventually bring my stuff to me, but I�m not totally convinced that his friends took it. After all, he didn�t seem at all upset about them having stolen things from me.

About a month ago, he told me that he had a girlfriend and that he wanted to bring her over to meet me. I briefly considered making a big stink about it like he had with my ex, but I decided to be an adult and told him that would be great. He scheduled a big dinner and cooked and asked me to dress up and everything. I was kind of relieved that he had someone he was so interested in because maybe he would be less weird than he had been. When this girl showed up, though�

He was in the kitchen when she arrived, so I answered the door. And it was like looking in a mirror. I could tell that she was just as alarmed as I was at how much we looked alike. We both have platinum blonde hair, fair skin, green eyes and similarly shaped bodies. We�re also approximately the same height. During dinner, we discovered that we also have lots of other things in common. She goes to a different college nearby but has the same major that I do. We also like a lot of the same music and share a lot of mannerisms.

After she left, I asked my brother if he had noticed how much she and I look alike. He rolled his eyes and told me that I was just being weird. I don�t know if I am. He brings her over all the time, and they make out in the living room on the couch. When I asked him if they could take it into his room, he accused me of being jealous that he wasn�t making out with me, which was confusing to both his girlfriend and myself. At that moment, it kind of started to seem like he was trying to make me jealous with her.

I wouldn�t think too much of it if he hadn�t been acting so strange since we moved in together. I can�t tell if I�m just imagining things or not. I don�t want to feel like my little brother has a crush on me, especially since we live together. I also don�t know how to talk about it with him without him just saying that I�m being crazy or jealous or whatever. Please help me.

TL;DR � my baby brother has been weirdly possessive since moving in with me and now has a girlfriend who looks just like me.

# ? May 27, 2017 06:09

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

dudeness posted:

Oops totally missed that the unschooling post was done before.

Me [23F] with my SO [23M] of 3 years claims he is now possessed by a demon and is acting a bit weird

Dude should write a book, maybe start doing seminars.

# ? May 27, 2017 06:19

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

fruit on the bottom posted:

My [22F] younger brother [19M] has been acting strangely possessive of me and is accusing me of being jealous of his girlfriend when I confront him about it

What are the odds it's an incest thing, and baby bro has jerked off into his sisters undies?

# ? May 27, 2017 06:26

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 28, 2024 13:29

PleasingFungus: Oct 10, 2012; idiot asshole bitch who should fuck off

fruit on the bottom posted:

My [22F] younger brother [19M] has been acting strangely possessive of me and is accusing me of being jealous of his girlfriend when I confront him about it

[UPDATE] My [22F] younger brother [19M] has been acting strangely possessive of me and is accusing me of being jealous of his girlfriend when I confront him about it

quote:

Thank you all for your comments and messages! I appreciate all your concerns and the confirmation that I am not crazy.

So I met up with my future roommate to tell her that I had officially decided not to live with my brother anymore. I gave her a full rundown of everything that had happened between the two of us. We�ve made appointments to tour some houses and apartments this week. She also said that I�m welcome to move into her place if I don�t feel like I can ride out the lease.

On Friday night, my brother had his girlfriend over and they were watching movies in the living room. It had been recommended to me that I approach him about it while she was around because he would be less likely to fly off the handle. Just in case, I packed a bag full of valuable things and stuff I would need if I had to book it immediately.

They finished one of the movies they had been watching. He went into the kitchen to get them some more snacks and his girlfriend was still in the living room, so I figured that this would be a good time. This way we weren�t airing all of our dirty laundry in front of her but she would be there if he started yelling or anything. I asked him if he could talk for a second. He seemed a little irritated (probably because I was interrupting his date) but said it was fine.

I told him that I felt like we didn�t make very compatible roommates and that I wouldn�t be renewing the lease with him for next month. When he asked why, I told him that I felt like he didn�t respect me as a roommate. I wanted to live somewhere with a person who would let me make the calls on who was or wasn�t allowed to be in my house. I wanted to live with someone who gave a poo poo if their friends were stealing from me. He told me that he respected me more than anyone else I could live with. He said that it�s because he respects me so much that he gave me a hard time about the boyfriend thing. I said that if he really respected me, he would give me the room to decide if a boyfriend was good for me or not.

Around that time, he started getting louder and angrier, so his girlfriend came in to check and see if things were cool. He told her that things were fine and that she should probably go. I panicked and tried to play it off a little. I said stuff like, �Oh no, don�t let me ruin your evening. Please stay. I�m about to leave.� He kept telling her to go before finally I was begging her to please stay.

He could tell that I was kind of scared and started laughing at me. He asked if I was afraid of him and told me that I was being ridiculous. He asked his girlfriend if she thought there was any good reason for me to be afraid of him. She seemed really worried or confused and told him he was being weird. He explained that I had just told him that I was bailing on him as a roommate and that I was being a �horrible oval office� about things that weren�t a big deal. He asked his girlfriend to leave again and she did.

Once she was gone, he told me that I was just pissed that he wasn�t going to let me be a �huge slut� like I wanted to be. He told me that some day I would meet the perfect guy for me but he wouldn�t want to date me because I would have had sex with so many guys and �nobody worthwhile wants to marry a skank.� He said that he was trying to help me so that I wouldn�t wind up in that situation.

I told him that I was going to leave and that we could talk again whenever he was ready to talk without saying horrible things to me but that I was going to be giving our landlord notice by Monday. I went into my room and got my bag. I locked my door behind me and headed to the door. When I was almost to the front door, he appeared almost right behind me and said my name. I turned around very quickly and as I did, he punched me right in the face. He didn�t knock me out or anything, but I collapsed on the floor. Without saying anything else, he stepped over me and went out the door, leaving me there.

I iced my eye for a while (which is now pretty swollen and purple) before I grabbed my bag and left. I called my mom and talked on the phone with her while I walked to my car so that if he approached me, she would hear what happened. She insisted that I was exaggerating about what he had done so I sent her a picture of my face. She started crying and apologized for being dismissive. I told her that it was okay but I didn�t want to be forced to spend time with him in any family situations ever again.

I haven�t seen him since then. I�ve been staying with my new roommate. I�ve gotten a few texts from him but haven�t responded yet. Here�s what they say:

TEXT 1: Where did you go? I came home and now you�re gone? We have to finish talking about this.

TEXT 2: Are you loving kidding me? Tell me where you are or that you�re alive. I�m scared that I haven�t heard from you. You know how worried I am when you fall off the face of the earth like this.

TEXT 3: You�re being such a child right now.

TEXT 4: I don�t know what you said to mom but you�ve really upset her. I hope you�re happy.

TEXT 5: I�ll be home all day Monday if you want to come over and meet with the landlord to give notice. That�s fine.

TEXT 6: Where am I going to live?

His girlfriend even texted me once to tell me how worried he is about me.

I�m a little nervous about tomorrow. As I said, I haven�t texted him back about joining him tomorrow. I told my new roommate that I need her to come with me. She suggested that I not wear any makeup so he can see the reality of what he did to my face. I don�t know. What do you all think?

TL;DR: I confronted my brother about not wanting to live with him anymore and he punched me in the face.

EDIT: I'm going to the police station with my roommate to file a report. I'm also trying to get in touch with his girlfriend to let her know what's going on. I haven't decided whether or not I should tell her that I'm going to the police with this. I emailed the landlord to make sure that he knows I'm putting in notice but don't want to meet to sign the paperwork if I have to meet with my brother. I haven't contacted my brother at all yet. I'm also thinking about calling my dad. He isn't super active in my life, but since my mom's turned out to be less than helpful in this situation, I'd like to have a family member on my side if I can.

quote:

I'm unable to post this as a separate update because this one is still receiving comments so I'll make this addition here:

Another Update

Last night my roommate and I went to the police station and filed a police report. I recounted to them all of the weird things that had happened with my brother in the past year that we�ve lived together. I told them that his girlfriend was a witness to the argument and showed them the text conversation with my mother. They also took pictures of my face in its current state, since my face is obviously more evidently bruised than in the picture I sent my mom. I couldn�t think of a whole lot of questions to ask at the time (I was very nervous and a little overwhelmed) and they didn�t provide me with a whole lot of information. They gave me a copy of the report and told me that a detective was being assigned to my case and would call me some time today. I don�t know if they�re going to be making an arrest or not. I think that they automatically have to in my state when this kind of report is filed, but I�m not sure. I feel really stupid for not thinking to ask such a basic question, but I also feel like it�s kind of weird that they didn�t offer that information. They did tell me that they would be happy to escort me to the apartment to collect my belongings if I felt that was necessary.

His girlfriend called me a few times while I was at the police station, but I was obviously busy and couldn�t take her calls. I texted her when I was done and asked if it was too late for me to call. She was still up, so I called and told her about what had happened once she left. She immediately started apologizing. I assured her that what happened wasn�t her fault. I asked if he had ever done anything like that to her. She said no. I hope she was being honest. I didn�t mention to her that I had gone to the police. I just said that I wanted to let her know for her own safety. She thanked me and apologized some more. She didn�t say what her next steps were going to be, but I told her that I would be checking in to make sure she was doing okay which she said she would appreciate.

This morning I called our dad. I haven�t talked to my dad since Father�s Day. He�s remarried and has a few younger children with his new wife. He�s definitely one of those remarried dads who ignores his old family in favor of his new one. I wasn�t anticipating much sympathy from him, but he really surprised me. He told me that based on some of my brother�s behavior from his childhood (violent tendencies towards other kids at school around the time of the divorce which I had never heard about from anyone until that moment) the whole thing didn�t especially shock him. Dad�s fairly well off financially and offered to get me a lawyer if I thought I needed one. He highly advised I at least meet with a lawyer to get a professional legal opinion on where to go from here. I took his offer and am meeting with a lawyer in my city tomorrow when I get off of work. My brother cannot afford a lawyer on his own, and my mother cannot afford to help him financially. Having a lawyer is definitely an advantage to me.

Thank you all for giving me the kick in the rear end I needed to go to the police. I still haven�t contacted my brother and think I�ll refrain from doing so until after the meeting with the lawyer tomorrow. My mom has sent me a few text messages asking why I haven�t been in touch with my brother. I haven�t responded to those either.

quote:

This has definitely changed how I feel about my mom's ability to parent.

# ? May 27, 2017 06:29

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