May Current Events: i was drunk and getting fisted by dr doom and had an IV of straig

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > May Current Events: i was drunk and getting fisted by dr doom and had an IV of straig

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UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

https://twitter.com/ArmsControlWonk/status/868948806498263040

# ? May 28, 2017 22:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 11, 2024 12:56

PookBear: Nov 1, 2008

that tweet was deleted what did it say

# ? May 28, 2017 22:59

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Said it landed in Japan sparking emergency cabinet meetings

# ? May 28, 2017 23:01

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

It's been corrected to say Japan's EEZ rather than just Japan, which caused a slight panic

# ? May 28, 2017 23:05

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Pesticide20 posted:

It's been corrected to say Japan's EEZ rather than just Japan, which caused a slight panic

Yeah I was queueing up The End

# ? May 28, 2017 23:27

Waroduce: Aug 5, 2008

Cologne is a cool and good city what the gently caress is there possibly not to like

# ? May 28, 2017 23:41

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Kölsch?

# ? May 28, 2017 23:44

Prop Wash: Jun 12, 2010

Is delicious in its own right and the perfect beer for the circumstances, beginning the cycle anew

Also my little German town just opened its own little bike stop bar thing, I'm so happy about this!

# ? May 28, 2017 23:46

milk milk lemonade: Jul 29, 2016

Waroduce posted:

Cologne is a cool and good city what the gently caress is there possibly not to like

I legitimately had the best two weeks of my life there and it left such an impact we've been exploring moving to Germany because my wife is technically a citizen.

# ? May 28, 2017 23:48

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Please let me probate these heathen fucks

# ? May 28, 2017 23:48

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Fifteen years ago, I would have made some joke involving Americans not being able to tell beer from pisswater, but now that America actually has a much wider selection of beers with good regional availability, I am at a complete loss for words that people would still call Koelsch a good beer.

There's like ONE Koelsch brewery that makes non-poo poo Koelsch.

You've got to have a fetish for light beers or something to like the way Koelsch tastes and goes down...and how loving expensive it is. Those "Koelsch Kranz" deals where you get a whole spindle of baby-glasses have some novelty-value, but you're getting poo poo-tier Koelsch for places to offer affordable prices on those. And Jesus Christ, the traditional size of a Koelsch is POINT TWO liters.

It's a shot of light beer :psyduck:

# ? May 28, 2017 23:54

citybeatnik: Mar 1, 2013; You Are All
WEIRDOS

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

CommieGIR and Dead Reckoning debates are going to end in a thumbs up or thumbs down ruling by me. Thumbs up, I adorn your av with.. something. Thumbs down? Probation.

Everyone clear on this?

We want Barabbas!

Alternatively...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bQnxlHZsjY

# ? May 29, 2017 00:01

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Fifteen years ago, I would have made some joke involving Americans not being able to tell beer from pisswater, but now that America actually has a much wider selection of beers with good regional availability, I am at a complete loss for words that people would still call Koelsch a good beer.

There's like ONE Koelsch brewery that makes non-poo poo Koelsch.

You've got to have a fetish for light beers or something to like the way Koelsch tastes and goes down...and how loving expensive it is. Those "Koelsch Kranz" deals where you get a whole spindle of baby-glasses have some novelty-value, but you're getting poo poo-tier Koelsch for places to offer affordable prices on those. And Jesus Christ, the traditional size of a Koelsch is POINT TWO liters.

It's a shot of light beer

Kölsch by most country's standards isn't bad exactly. But when you are in the country that has a reputation for making some of the world's best - and a very well earned reputation at that - not bad is just not enough. Every other place I've tried the local in Germany left it for dead.

# ? May 29, 2017 00:03

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Fifteen years ago, I would have made some joke involving Americans not being able to tell beer from pisswater, but now that America actually has a much wider selection of beers with good regional availability, I am at a complete loss for words that people would still call Koelsch a good beer.

There's like ONE Koelsch brewery that makes non-poo poo Koelsch.

You've got to have a fetish for light beers or something to like the way Koelsch tastes and goes down...and how loving expensive it is. Those "Koelsch Kranz" deals where you get a whole spindle of baby-glasses have some novelty-value, but you're getting poo poo-tier Koelsch for places to offer affordable prices on those. And Jesus Christ, the traditional size of a Koelsch is POINT TWO liters.

It's a shot of light beer

I've never had actual Kolsch in Germany so I can't speak to the weird sizing or pricing but...
There is a reason that Americans drink lighter beers than you. Well, a lot of reasons but one is that my summer here in the American midwest averages 7�C higher than yours in Germany. Light, crisp lager is a good thing in a hot summer.

# ? May 29, 2017 00:06

maffew buildings: Apr 29, 2009; too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned

We lost another SEAL today, this time to critical Fleet Week operations where their chute failed over the Hudson

# ? May 29, 2017 00:09

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

maffew buildings posted:

We lost another SEAL today, this time to critical Fleet Week operations where their chute failed over the Hudson

That is lovely

# ? May 29, 2017 00:12

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Fifteen years ago, I would have made some joke involving Americans not being able to tell beer from pisswater, but now that America actually has a much wider selection of beers with good regional availability, I am at a complete loss for words that people would still call Koelsch a good beer.

There's like ONE Koelsch brewery that makes non-poo poo Koelsch.

You've got to have a fetish for light beers or something to like the way Koelsch tastes and goes down...and how loving expensive it is. Those "Koelsch Kranz" deals where you get a whole spindle of baby-glasses have some novelty-value, but you're getting poo poo-tier Koelsch for places to offer affordable prices on those. And Jesus Christ, the traditional size of a Koelsch is POINT TWO liters.

It's a shot of light beer

There's also stuff called "session" ale/IPA which is like 3-4% because the idea is to allow you to maintain a happy buzz all afternoon without lapsing into drunken immobility.

I'm liking what diff breweries are doing with citrusy hop blends, lactobacillus, and sours, but you won't find me turning down a middle of the road Trappist ordering straight out of a monestary.

# ? May 29, 2017 00:12

maffew buildings: Apr 29, 2009; too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned

Pesticide20 posted:

That is lovely

Agreed. I know the public loves that poo poo and it's great for PR but the cost when something goes wrong is too catastrophic for me to think "hey we should have them do this"

# ? May 29, 2017 00:20

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Stultus Maximus posted:

I've never had actual Kolsch in Germany so I can't speak to the weird sizing or pricing but...
There is a reason that Americans drink lighter beers than you. Well, a lot of reasons but one is that my summer here in the American midwest averages 7�C higher than yours in Germany. Light, crisp lager is a good thing in a hot summer.

Koelsch isn't a lager though.

Listen, I'm not saying that there aren't occasions were lighter beers have their uses (heck, I'm planning on going redneck-tubing with a 30-pack of Keystone light in Oak Creek canyon tomorrow, because it's just lovely enough for the occasion), but we're talking about Koelsch in Cologne here. It's a 0.2l glass of beer in a country where you could get a regular sized, equally mild (not "light" as in watered down) Pilsener for less money-per-volume.

# ? May 29, 2017 00:24

milk milk lemonade: Jul 29, 2016

Yah well Germans also drink bottled water non stop despite their tap water being perfectly fine. I think one regions obsession with cute little beer shots can be given a pass

# ? May 29, 2017 00:28

milk milk lemonade: Jul 29, 2016

And drinking carbonated water is for loving animals

# ? May 29, 2017 00:29

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Koelsch isn't a lager though.

Listen, I'm not saying that there aren't occasions were lighter beers have their uses (heck, I'm planning on going redneck-tubing with a 30-pack of Keystone light in Oak Creek canyon tomorrow, because it's just lovely enough for the occasion), but we're talking about Koelsch in Cologne here. It's a 0.2l glass of beer in a country where you could get a regular sized, equally mild (not "light" as in watered down) Pilsener for less money-per-volume.

Might I suggest literally anything else? PBR, Busch, really literally anything else (except Natural Light). Keystone exists for college students who aren't there on their parents' dime and that's it.

# ? May 29, 2017 00:30

Waroduce: Aug 5, 2008

Never drink lighthouse I'd rather drink an alcoholics piss

# ? May 29, 2017 00:37

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

milk milk lemonade posted:

And drinking carbonated water is for loving animals

It's what I drink when I go out since I gave up booze

Stultus Maximus posted:

Might I suggest literally anything else? PBR, Busch, really literally anything else (except Natural Light). Keystone exists for college students who aren't there on their parents' dime and that's it.

Coors light was what I drank when I was in the states for the real white trash feel

# ? May 29, 2017 00:40

milk milk lemonade: Jul 29, 2016

Why would you take that most delicious life sustaining thing on the planet and carbonate it. So confusing.

# ? May 29, 2017 00:43

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

I think Coors Light has the highest ABV of the mass produced light beers

# ? May 29, 2017 00:43

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

maffew buildings posted:

We lost another SEAL today, this time to critical Fleet Week operations where their chute failed over the Hudson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mu1QJbKpBjw

# ? May 29, 2017 00:43

UP THE BUM NO BABY: Sep 1, 2011; by Hand Knit

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mu1QJbKpBjw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkuM1wSH5hI

# ? May 29, 2017 00:45

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

milk milk lemonade posted:

Why would you take that most delicious life sustaining thing on the planet and carbonate it. So confusing.

Because it's the closest thing I've found to the crispness of an actual beer and zero percent stuff seems like the start of a slippery slope to me :shrug:

# ? May 29, 2017 00:48

PookBear: Nov 1, 2008

I don't give a gently caress about the alcohol its the god drat calorie count that is making me stop.

# ? May 29, 2017 00:49

LongDarkNight: Oct 25, 2010; It's like watching the collapse of Western civilization in fast forward.; Oven Wrangler

Stultus Maximus posted:

Keystone exists for college students who aren't there on their parents' dime and that's it.

Doesn't that describe Duzzy?

# ? May 29, 2017 01:15

Stultus Maximus: Dec 21, 2009; USPOL May

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Koelsch isn't a lager though.

Listen, I'm not saying that there aren't occasions were lighter beers have their uses (heck, I'm planning on going redneck-tubing with a 30-pack of Keystone light in Oak Creek canyon tomorrow, because it's just lovely enough for the occasion), but we're talking about Koelsch in Cologne here. It's a 0.2l glass of beer in a country where you could get a regular sized, equally mild (not "light" as in watered down) Pilsener for less money-per-volume.

I'm just going to continue this over here...

# ? May 29, 2017 01:18

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

I drank Bo Ice once

It was terrible

# ? May 29, 2017 01:55

The Iron Rose: May 12, 2012; Cat Army

See this is why I don't drink beer. So many different options that everyone cares entirely too much about, and the calories are brutal for the alcohol you get.

Gimme cocktails all day instead.

# ? May 29, 2017 01:58

Knives Amilli: Sep 26, 2014

facialimpediment posted:

I didn't believe this quote when it was posted on twitter, now there's video and a transcript. Goddamn.

Video: https://twitter.com/FaceTheNation/status/868841865830912002

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/transcript-defense-secretary-james-mattis-on-face-the-nation-may-28-2017/

I like Mattis but im kinda sick of the "Mad Dog ISIS Boogeyman KILL." schtick. All it does is create FB bait for Conservatives who prop Mattis up as the single redeeming act Trump has accomplished.

SecDEFs are only as efficient as the POTUS they are serving. Mattis talks a good game and looks the part but ive no faith in a Trump Cabinet when push comes to shove.

# ? May 29, 2017 01:58

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

http://www.fresnobee.com/news/nation-world/national/article153150474.html

quote:

For students across the country, the traditional eighth-grade trip to Washington is a chance to join the throngs on the Mall and perhaps spot some of the world's most powerful people on the grounds of the U.S. Capitol.

But a group from South Orange Middle School in New Jersey will probably remember their trip to the nation's capital last week for another reason: It was the occasion for a pointed snub of House Speaker Paul D. Ryan, R-Wis.

About half of the roughly 150 students on the trip refused to have their photo taken with Ryan when he briefly joined them outside the capitol Thursday. Instead, they stood across the street while Ryan posed with their peers.

# ? May 29, 2017 02:07

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

The Iron Rose posted:

Gimme cocktails all day instead.

poo poo yeah, half liter of gin, half liter of campari, and about a half liter of sweet vermouth, then fill the rest with ice. Whammo, jug of negroni for your kayaking.

# ? May 29, 2017 02:08