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Quidam Viator posted:*Puts 0-6 month old baby into a series of containers and slings* bonsai baby
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# ? May 30, 2017 00:27 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 11:41 |
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Rutibex posted:bonsai baby veal?
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# ? May 30, 2017 00:39 |
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TheMostFrench posted:A lesbian couple I know named their child Xeven. Later they announced on facebook that they changed it to Zeven for clarity. Jesus, they took a Seinfeld sketch and somehow made it worse.
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# ? May 30, 2017 00:57 |
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Quidam Viator posted:*Puts 0-6 month old baby into a series of containers and slings*
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# ? May 30, 2017 01:00 |
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54 40 or gently caress posted:I bought this Ergo baby carrier for 275, bringing my babywearing collection up to 8 slings and three carriers at a net worth of $6000 More like "buys one $80 wrap, too lazy to watch DVD, tries a couple wrap styles without baby, chucks whole thing in closet and just carries the kid"
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# ? May 30, 2017 02:08 |
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Quidam Viator posted:*Puts 0-6 month old baby into a series of containers and slings* This family at the center was on their third kid and did that. Not one of them got tummy time it was laying on the back/sitting in swings and chairs. Their youngest was an infant and if we put him on his stomach he would lay there and scream until he fell asleep in the middle of the floor. He skipped over crawling in favor of scooting on his rear end like a dog with worms. But he had a Coach diaper bag and his three year old sister had name brand Uggs.
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# ? May 30, 2017 02:39 |
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Panfilo posted:Do you perform spinal adjustments for babies?! gently caress NO. I'm a licensed massage therapist who works mostly on adults, but took a serious course in helping these loving bonsai babies that people are raising. If you were like... an actual parent of a baby, and paid attention to the poor fucker, you'd do stuff like "tummy time", where you encourage this like 0-4 month old baby to learn how to roll on its side, and then on its stomach, so it can like... loving LIVE and poo poo. Everyone's been talking about people carrying babies around in slings, putting them in those loving bouncy things, gently caress, strapping the fucker in to a car carrier inside the house, so you can dick around with your friends on instagram, right? We call those "container babies" and their parents are so loving clueless, that if I don't come in and help the fuckers GET ON THE FLOOR, put down the phone, and loving work with their kid to learn basic locomotion, the kid will be massively developmentally delayed. It's loving embarrassing. A baby has to learn how to move their arms and legs in order to roll themselves over, to sit up, to get on their side or back onto their back, which is comfort zone, and because these dipshits are strapping their kids to loving plastic, the kid never learns it. Then a doctor or child protective services refers them to me because I have this licensed specialty. Yeah, so some of us are middle-aged computer janitors, others of us are middle-aged people janitors. I mostly teach the parents what it's like to learn how to move from scratch, then guide them in getting their baby to do it. It's like 20% of my practice, and I'm trying not to let it take over too much more because as rewarding as it is to literally make it possible for a baby to live without intervention, it's too loving emotionally draining to deal with parents who don't give a gently caress about their kids. EDIT: Len posted:This family at the center was on their third kid and did that. Not one of them got tummy time it was laying on the back/sitting in swings and chairs. Their youngest was an infant and if we put him on his stomach he would lay there and scream until he fell asleep in the middle of the floor. He skipped over crawling in favor of scooting on his rear end like a dog with worms. But he had a Coach diaper bag and his three year old sister had name brand Uggs. EXACTLY. This guy gets it. I'm the loving people-janitor that comes in and teaches that kid to crawl because that dog-rear end drag is loving EMBARRASSING. Quidam Viator fucked around with this message at 02:46 on May 30, 2017 |
# ? May 30, 2017 02:42 |
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Quidam Viator posted:gently caress NO. Did not know this kind of thing was a thing. God drat.
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# ? May 30, 2017 03:09 |
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Makes me wonder if there's a whole generation of crippled people inbound due to all this attachment parenting.
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# ? May 30, 2017 03:13 |
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Panfilo posted:Makes me wonder if there's a whole generation of crippled people inbound due to all this attachment parenting. This isn't the tumblr thread
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# ? May 30, 2017 03:24 |
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Quidam Viator posted:gently caress NO. You're a god drat loving hero. Someone get this dude a mimosa.
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# ? May 30, 2017 03:29 |
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*CV includes sucking on moms breast and an AA in Monty Python quotes*
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# ? May 30, 2017 03:31 |
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Quidam Viator posted:gently caress NO. holy poo poo
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# ? May 30, 2017 12:19 |
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I'm glad you're there to save these retarded millenial babies man. With people like you in this world, maybe they stand a small chance
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# ? May 30, 2017 12:22 |
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What happens to these retard babies if they don't get any professional help? Do they just drag themselves around on their rear end until they graduate college?
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# ? May 30, 2017 12:27 |
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Doesnt believe in vaccins, kid dies of some medievil disease
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# ? May 30, 2017 12:31 |
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MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:More like "buys one $80 wrap, too lazy to watch DVD, tries a couple wrap styles without baby, chucks whole thing in closet and just carries the kid" This but ironically
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# ? May 30, 2017 13:00 |
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My kid died from lack of medical coverage but I got all this avocado toast so
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# ? May 30, 2017 13:00 |
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I have nothing to contribute but Quidam Viator is a loving saint
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# ? May 30, 2017 13:08 |
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YeahTubaMike posted:I have nothing to contribute but Quidam Viator is a loving saint
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# ? May 30, 2017 13:41 |
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Quidam Viator posted:Everyone's been talking about people carrying babies around in slings, putting them in those loving bouncy things, gently caress, strapping the fucker in to a car carrier inside the house, so you can dick around with your friends on instagram, right? We call those "container babies" and their parents are so loving clueless, that if I don't come in and help the fuckers GET ON THE FLOOR, put down the phone, and loving work with their kid to learn basic locomotion, the kid will be massively developmentally delayed. "My parents were always working. We had a nice house and plenty of toys, but it was emotionally arid, you know? It was always about their careers and never about their kids." * straps fussing infant into motorized bassinet so she can instagram last night's baby pictures. *
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# ? May 30, 2017 14:01 |
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Molentik posted:Doesnt believe in vaccins, kid dies of some medievil disease *Dr. Stares at mysterious rash with puzzled look on face* "I've seen pictures of this like back in med school but... This disease was eradicated in the US... Measles?"
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# ? May 30, 2017 15:04 |
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T.S. Smelliot posted:*Dr. Stares at mysterious rash with puzzled look on face* "I've seen pictures of this like back in med school but... This disease was eradicated in the US... Measles?" Has the USA/Australia has a major polio outbreak yet? I'm going to feel so bad for the kids but educated parents with their heads up their asses deserve to lose a kid if they won't vaccinate. Who will they blame, the same health authorities who were yelling at them do get the vaccine in the first place?
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# ? May 30, 2017 15:27 |
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There is currently a measles outbreak and Minneapolis because anti vaxxers used scare tactics about vaccines on immigrants, namely the Somali immigrant community.
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# ? May 30, 2017 15:41 |
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Outrail posted:Has the USA/Australia has a major polio outbreak yet? I wonder if that would change their mind on vaccines. If all their unvaccined children ended up with Polio think they would vaccinate their future ones?
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# ? May 30, 2017 16:03 |
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Len posted:I wonder if that would change their mind on vaccines. If all their unvaccined children ended up with Polio think they would vaccinate their future ones? Nope, theyll blame other people for getting it and spreading it to their child.
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# ? May 30, 2017 16:42 |
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Is the whole bonsai baby practice really all that new? There are plenty of cultures that lug kids around in slings and those kids don't necessarily end up as paraplegics.
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# ? May 30, 2017 16:59 |
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Panfilo posted:Is the whole bonsai baby practice really all that new? There are plenty of cultures that lug kids around in slings and those kids don't necessarily end up as paraplegics. Probably because those people know when to stop treating their child as if it's a live ragdoll and let the child learn to move on its own
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# ? May 30, 2017 16:59 |
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you're a hero
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# ? May 30, 2017 17:06 |
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also they presumably let the baby down and interact with it when they're at home
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# ? May 30, 2017 17:06 |
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Panfilo posted:Is the whole bonsai baby practice really all that new? There are plenty of cultures that lug kids around in slings and those kids don't necessarily end up as paraplegics. those people have to actually work for a living. they put the baby down to go work in the fields
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# ? May 30, 2017 17:08 |
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I can't figure out the goddamn ring sling try as I might. Sorry to those following my mom blog but this is the end *overdoses on essential oils*
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# ? May 30, 2017 17:53 |
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*Bereaved relatives spend several weeks hauling out the scented candle hoard from the attic*
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# ? May 30, 2017 18:02 |
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So listen, I know with the election and everything, you know....I mean, I just want to let you know that daddy loves you and... umm, well, I just don't know, I don't know any more... *begins weeping uncontrollably in front of 8 month old son
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# ? May 30, 2017 18:59 |
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It's ok to cry Kaiden. It's ok. See? Daddy cries too. *8 month old becomes frightened, begins emancipation process.
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# ? May 30, 2017 19:01 |
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Took Fenix to the craft brewery for this awesome folk set. Had some great local craft brews with choice eats. Smoked sriracha maple bacon with local micro greens on a toasted peasant bread bun. Off to my shantala infant massage class all, namaste
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# ? May 30, 2017 19:39 |
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Wei, ni bu nung sho hu ta, ta bu jidao zhongwen, ta shi fraguo.
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# ? May 30, 2017 19:42 |
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54 40 or gently caress posted:Took Fenix to the craft brewery for this awesome folk set. Had some great local craft brews with choice eats. Smoked sriracha maple bacon with local micro greens on a toasted peasant bread bun. Off to my shantala infant massage class all, namaste *breaks in to your home and kills you before debating whether to smother the seed or give it to a pack of wolves, perchance to be raised feral*
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# ? May 30, 2017 20:04 |
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Panfilo posted:You're better off signing up for Diapr, the convenient app that sends a diaper changing expert to your house to take care of that. Thanks you're a lifesaver
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# ? May 30, 2017 20:14 |
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# ? May 13, 2024 11:41 |
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phasmid posted:*breaks in to your home and kills you before debating whether to smother the seed or give it to a pack of wolves, perchance to be raised feral* You can't kill what's already been dead inside.
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# ? May 30, 2017 20:31 |