/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Danaru posted:

Are my work conditions considered unsafe if another employee has an infection so bad that it literally smells up the entire store?

quote:
This is a really bizarre thing I never thought I'd have to deal with, but- I work with someone who claims to have cellulitis, yet speaks on how her wounds are leaking on her legs (which this awful rotting stench confirms). From what I understand, cellulitis is called as such because it is beneath the skin and therefore isn't contagious- however it IS caused by staph- and I truly feel like this may be a danger to me and others around her. There is a distinctive scent when she isn't around in the store. And I literally cannot stand within two feet of her due to it being so overwhelming. The closest thing I can compare the smell to is frankly, an animal corpse. My employers acknowledge that this is an issue, however they have taken no action to ask her to seek medical attention or take a leave of absence, and she has insisted that she will not do such a thing because she cannot afford to. Any advice for this situation is appreciated. I should mention it is a franchised company and privately owned.

I am around Atlanta GA

# ? Jun 2, 2017 10:46

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# ? May 15, 2024 10:06

Brainworm: Mar 23, 2007; ...one of these--
As he hath spices of them all, not all,
For I dare so far free him--made him fear'd...; Nap Ghost

Mak0rz posted:

I learned from the past page or so that it's a miracle Americans making less than six figures are even alive. Good Lord

Yeah. If there's a common lesson implicit in both the state of American health care and in /r/relationships, it's that Americans play chicken with reality.

Heroes are the ones who play the dumbest game of chicken for the highest stakes.

Brainworm fucked around with this message at 11:17 on Jun 2, 2017

# ? Jun 2, 2017 11:13

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Motherfucker posted:

I assume the guy in the story is a kid by his writing.

I thought this at first but I'm not so sure

quote:

I have not spoken to him this year.�

I have not voiced our heartache from his behaviour until now... Today I discovered him and his vile woman had gone away somewhere ,so i thought in the sunshine i could go sit on my Mum and Dads back doorstep�

It seems like he lives apart from the father

# ? Jun 2, 2017 12:35

Buzkashi: Feb 4, 2003; College Slice

Me[21] with my boyfriend[23] of 1 year. His former crush recently confessed her feelings for him. She's terminal.

quote:

TLDR: Boyfriend's former crush and vvv close friend recently confessed her feelings for him. She's terminal. Boyfriend is very broken over this because he also has feelings for her before meeting me, but never told her because he thought she didn't like him. I feel like he's settling for mw.

Let's call my boyfriend Rick, and this other woman Sally. Rick and Sally have been friends since before I met him. They've always been pretty close, but not in a way that I have ever felt threatened by her. They also don't meet that often since she lives about a 2-3 hour drive away. She's an aspiring architect, who sketches a lot, so she has sketched for my boyfriend (his picture, her take on a personal comic project he has on the side, etc).

Recently she was diagnosed with a terminal illness. My boyfriend went to see her at the hospital, and brought me up in a conversation. Sally broke down on hearing that Rick has a girlfriend, when he has completely ignored her very obvious hints to date him in the past. Rick is rather taken aback by this, because while he does feel he shares one of the closest bonds in her life with her, and the thought of dating her has crossed his mind, he never really took it seriously assuming Sally would never see him that way.

Now, Rick seems rather disturbed about this new revelation. We're very happy in our relationship. I completely empathize with Sally's sudden health-decline, and I am trying to be supportive of my boyfriend since he is going to be losing a very close friend, but here's the thing: The little conversation Rick and I have had about the whole thing, he regrets having "missed the chance to date Sally". He has this whole air of "I wish I picked on the hints that she liked me" about him that I'm not very comfortable with. This has left me with the big question: If say Sally wasn't terminal now, will Rick leave me and pursue her?

I couldn't find any nice way to ask this without seeming like a bitch, but I finally slipped it into a conversation last night, and my boyfriend refused to address it. I told him I understand this might not seem appropriate given the circumstances of Sally's illness, but I need to know because I feel like some 'third wheel' in my own relationship. Anyway, what I did end up getting out of him was that - he doesn't feel there's a fair way to answer my question. He's about to lose his closest friend, and there is a high possibility he wouldn't have even spoken to me, if he knew she liked him before, but since he's with me, and loves me, and Sally's terminal, he can't really answer the 'ifs' and 'what would've happened'.

I don't know how to go from here, y'all. I just need someone to tell how to deal with these feelings where I suddenly feel like I have to compete with Sally. My extremely happy and fulfilling relationship might not have even happened if they had spoken to each other about their feelings. Who knows Rick might have just ditched me, had she not been terminal, given the way he's so broken over the "missed chance" of dating her? I need help navigating through these feelings.

Sounds like this problem's gonna solve itself sweetie

# ? Jun 2, 2017 12:53

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

She's not really sick and it's just an elaborate ploy to steal him away

# ? Jun 2, 2017 12:57

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

I always wanted to know what it felt like to be the fifth-billed cast member of a Lifetime tearjerker

# ? Jun 2, 2017 13:01

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

An ambulance could easily be $2000 at the low-end in the US without insurance.

My dudes have you considered having a National Health Service? It turns out that works pretty well, by and large.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 14:04

MLKQUOTEMACHINE: Oct 22, 2012; Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill

feedmegin posted:

My dudes have you considered having a National Health Service? It turns out that works pretty well, by and large.

But then blacks and Mexicans will have it too so no.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 14:14

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

gotta be something more going on here

My Sister [25F] forbade Me [22M] from seeing my parents and joining them on a weekend getaway.

quote:

Some background, I just moved into a new house a little over a month ago and I haven't really seen or talked to my parents since. There's a certain place my family goes to on vacation about once a year, but I haven't been able to go the last few years because of school.

Anyway, I was talking to my mom and she told me they were going to go to this family retreat and that I was, naturally, invited to come along if I so wished--it'd be a three hour drive and I'd be going alone, so I was a bit hesitant to make the trip for just a weekend.

While I'm mulling this over, I message my sister--whom I've had a hard time with over the years--because I've been trying to patch things up with her and I didn't want her to think I was passing up on the trip just to avoid her and to show I value her input.

This is where poo poo starts to go off the rails.

Immediately she's trying to talk me out of going and saying she just wants "quality time with mom and dad." I think that's a bit blunt, but I thank her for her honesty and tell her I'll take that into consideration.

Evidently that was the wrong answer.

She starts going off about how the trip was "invite only," I didn't get that she was talking about me, so I tried reassuring her that I wasn't bringing anyone else, but she was still unsatisfied. Eventually, I catch on and remind her that our parents are hosting the weekend, not her, and that I am invited by our parents (You would think that goes without saying, being a family retreat and me being part of the family).

I knew things weren't perfect between my sister and I, but when she said, exact quote, "I don't want you there", that was a shock.

She goes on that I don't have the "right" to just show up, that this weekend isn't about me and then starts accusing me of every slight she can think of. I've dealt with her enough times to know that arguing isn't gonna get me anywhere, so I just say this:

"I'm not going to be put on the defensive here. I have just as much right to see my parents and go to _____ as you do. I haven't even decided whether or not I'm going, but as for my 'rights' you can take that up with mom and dad.

I'll make that decision without your input."

To which she simply replied:

"Screw you _____. You are such a selfish person." Projection, much?

TL;DR: Mom invited me to a family getaway, sister forbade me and told me I had no right to see my parents.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 14:24

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Yea I feel like some backstory on the relationship with the sister is necessary

# ? Jun 2, 2017 14:32

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

gotta be something more going on here

My Sister [25F] forbade Me [22M] from seeing my parents and joining them on a weekend getaway.

This fucker talks like a manager at the weirdo factory and is pretty clearly concealing something.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 14:35

putrid aidsman: Apr 13, 2017; by Lowtax

He definitely tried to gently caress his sister.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 14:55

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Ugh, you may be right. I somehow missed that OP was a man and figured it was just bad childhood sister drama.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 14:59

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

putrid aidsman posted:

He definitely tried to gently caress his sister.

I didn't get that vibe although the way he phrases poo poo like a stern boss sending an email to a coworker definitely makes me think he's guilty of something creepy.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 15:03

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

Creepy guy is also reading that situation strangely. He seems to think his sis is specifically keeping him from seeing their parents, but it's clear it's that she is the one who doesn't want him along.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 15:06

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

almost makes me want to touch the poop and ask the guy what the gently caress is really going on till he reveals more answers.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 15:08

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

He removed the post but in the comments he ended up running to mommy

quote:

I did message my mom and say "I think you need to talk to your daughter" and about 15 minutes later I got a reply "What the hell is her problem?!"

So my mom started messaging my sister while talking to me at the same time, and my mom is 1,000% on my side in this. It was actually really upsetting hearing my mom just get more and more disappointed with my sister as the night went on.

I know my sister's gonna hold this against me, because I "tattled", but you're right, I had to say�something.�I didn't even give specifics or try to give my side of the story first, all I said to my mom was to talk to my sister.

Every time I try to talk to my sister and reach out an olive branch she just lashes out. Is it even worth trying anymore?

One person asked about the sister and her side and someone else said her side doesn't matter because r/relationships is not a court of law, heh

# ? Jun 2, 2017 15:09

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Hes just going to be evasive or act like he has zero clue as to why. He pretty carefully avoided ever mentioning it, so it is way closer to the "used her as a human shield in a situation I caused" than "I cut off her barbie's hair when we were little"

# ? Jun 2, 2017 15:11

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

yes. this seems like one hundred percent a believable narrative that makes total logical sense.

god dammit I'm so invested in the mystery right now.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 15:12

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Motherfucker posted:

yes. this seems like one hundred percent a believable narrative that makes total logical sense.

god dammit I'm so invested in the mystery right now.

Stalk the username on Reddit and Im sure in a few steps youll find something like posts in r/sistermiserytips

# ? Jun 2, 2017 15:14

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Well, whatever awful thing happened, it sounds like mom is 100% on his side and on board with enabling it :smith:

# ? Jun 2, 2017 15:16

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Clark Nova posted:

Well, whatever awful thing happened, it sounds like mom is 100% on his side and on board with enabling it

probably she doesn't know what happened and the sister won't say because its just that loving gross and bad

# ? Jun 2, 2017 15:17

WoodrowSkillson: Feb 24, 2005; *Gestures at 60 years of Lions history*

Or the sister is a piece of poo poo, i mean the dude is avoiding something but crazy people being crazy is well established here.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 15:18

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

I dunno, checking the reddit handle this guy is either a sadbranes or a throwaway account for a ton of different people?

# ? Jun 2, 2017 15:22

Dunning Krugerrand: Dec 23, 2015; purestrain pyrite

This one is long but the surprise twist ending on part 2 it made it worth it. You should read the whole thing but I added some bolding for the lazy.

My wife [27F] has asked me [29M] to stop talking to my best friend [28F], and is upset that I'm sad about it.

quote:

Callie and I have been friends for essentially our whole lives. We played together as children, we even had sleepovers as kids. She basically lived in my treehouse when her parents were going through a divorce, and when my cat died, she held me for hours while I cried. We were next door neighbors, and we were roommates in college. She's been part of every major life event of mine, and I've been part of hers. When I first met my wife, Callie was the one who I'd spend hours gushing about Laurie to, and she quickly and easily embraced Laurie. They've gotten along fantastically as far as I knew.

When Callie met her husband, it was all very much the same. We welcomed him into our friend group, and had a bunch of fun as a couple of couples. We went on vacations together, did little day trips in our area, went on hikes and did other activities together. We had dinner with each other regularly, it was almost idyllic.

Callie's husband, Chad, decided earlier this year to end his life. His death shook us all, but obviously, it shook Callie the most. It took my bubbly, optimistic, generally upbeat best friend and destroyed her. When she found out she was pregnant and then miscarried soon after, it destroyed her again. As her best friend, and essentially brother, she leaned on me a lot. She leaned on my wife too, and Laurie was happy to be there for her, but Callie leaned on me a bit harder.

She's doing a lot better now, but she's not the same and I don't think she'll ever be quite the same ever again, and that's understandable. I still love her immensely, and I'll always be here for her, which I've communicated to her. We still have lunch together almost every day, and we text frequently. I've never hidden any of our interactions from my wife, and have actually gone to her several times to discuss them, because she gives amazing advice and I want her input.

However, Laurie hit me with an ultimatum today. Either Callie goes, or she goes. She says that she can't handle knowing that I love another woman, the way I love Callie. I tried to explain that I love Callie the same way I love my brother. There's no romance to my love for her, and there's no attraction at all, on any level. I don't see her that way and I don't have the capacity to, because we grew up in such close proximity. We were over at each other's houses as kids all of the time and her mom even grounded me...on more than one occasion. That is how close our families are. She said that she doesn't care that this choice is hurting me, and it's a choice that I need to make. She says that I need to decide if a life with Callie as my friend is more important than a life with her, and to me, this feels exactly like someone saying "Pick me or your sister."

I'm sitting here at a crossroads. She has given me two days to grapple with this and make my choice, and I honestly don't know how to handle this. I don't want to lose either of them, because I love them both in such different ways. Callie is essentially my sister, and my wife is well...my wife. Laurie is the love of my life, and I'd be destroyed if I lost her. On the other hand, Callie is a lifelong friend, and losing her would wreck me too. I feel like I'm in an unfair situation.

I've never spent time with Callie that my wife wasn't aware of, and she's encouraged me to go spend time with her when I was more apt to just stay home with Laurie. She's told me over and over again that she's proud of me for being so good to Callie and that seeing this proves to her that I'm a good man, because I don't just treat my wife well, I treat everyone in my life well.

Laurie is currently upset that I'm even needing to think about this and has gone to the guest room. I've been instructed to leave her alone until I decide.

This feels like it's coming out of nowhere. It feels manipulative and hurtful and I'm frozen due to the shock and the pain of this situation.

tl;dr: Wife very suddenly and out of the blue issued an ultimatum: life long friend or wife. Not sure how to proceed.

How do I even begin to digest this situation? What would you do in my situation? Is my wife being unreasonable, or am I? Are we both? Is there a middle ground that an outsider can see that I can't? Is there more to it than this? Is there something wrong with me that I didn't immediately choose my wife and I actually have to deeply think this through?

Sounds like your garden variety boundary issues right? LOL NO

Update: My wife [27F] has asked me [29M] to stop talking to my best friend [28F], and is upset that I'm sad about it.

quote:

I'm back to update on the situation from yesterday.

In my anger and pain and needing to reach out to someone, I left out a lot of details that explained my position and feelings toward my wife's actions. I felt that she was being patently unreasonable because of all of the things that I had given and done for our relationship...none of which I informed you of because they weren't in the forefront of my mind at the time. I'd like to give a more whole picture before moving forward with my update.

My wife and I have been together for eight years now, and married for five. We got together very young and she was the second person I had ever dated. I was her third.

Over the course of our relationship, I've sacrificed a lot of little things, as anyone does and should in a relationship. It's all about compromise and meeting the other person halfway. I get that and I understand that. However, that has not been the case for my relationship with Laurie. She always gets her way. I'm not using hyperbole, she does. She always gets her way. When I was given the opportunity to move abroad, to my dream city for an amazing job that would have afforded us both a better lifestyle, she put her foot down and said that I could go, but she would be staying here and we'd be over. She wanted to stay close to her own family and social network. I said "fair enough" and we stayed. Before we married, she asked me to stop seeing most of my male friends because she thought they were bad influences. At the time she didn't give any reasons and I didn't question it because I trusted her judgement and ultimately wanted to put her comfort first. When we bought our bed, she got the one that she wanted because I put her comfort level first, even though I have the more demanding occupation and arguably need better rest. It's too soft for my comfort- I tend to need a firm bed, otherwise I'm a bit achy. She doesn't like Chinese takeout so we don't get it. She hates cheese on pizza so we never have cheese on any pizza. She bans Game of Thrones and Southpark from the house purely because she doesn't like either, and my complaints about the Kardashians fall on deaf ears. She wanted the blue china, I wanted the red. Guess which we bought? The list goes on and on.

I had pneumonia last year, and it got to the point where I had to be hospitalized. Laurie refused to visit me, or even bring me a blanket from home because it infringed on plans that she had with her friends and family. I would understand work obligations, but it was purely social.

People made the assumption that Laurie "only" spends time with her friends because I spend time with Callie, and that's rather laughable, but any evidence to the contrary becomes "He said/she said" finger pointing. I don't believe that this is the case. Laurie has always had a very active social life, and made it clear to me when we were engaged that it wasn't going to change for her when we got married, and I agreed to that. We had many long talks about how children aren't something that either of us want, so she got a tubal ligation and I got a vasectomy. During this talk about social life and priorities as a married couple, we agreed that instead of our lives being devoted to children, we would spend them doing thing that we enjoy both together and independently. We both agreed that realistically, friendships would become less important over the years as children came into play for our friends.

Now, people were very critical of the amount of time I spend with Laurie. She has never once told me that she felt that she needed more one on one time with me, in some cases it's been the opposite. She's told me she's felt like I'm around too much.

As it is, we spend at least four hours one on one, per day. We hire a cleaner, so the only chores we really have are cooking. We don't consider cooking to be a chore, and for us, preparing our meals does count as quality time. We also spend time cuddled up watching movies, reading books, and playing board games. What I'm trying to get at here is that our time together is recreational and relaxing, not spending the day near each other doing chores. That's not how our life functions.

I go over to Callie's on the weekends for an hour or two, and she comes over here during the week for an hour. That's normal for us. Sometimes I go over for an additional visit or she comes over here for an additional one. It works out to seeing each other three to four times a week, normally. But there are times when neither of our schedules mesh, and we only see each other at lunch. Laurie often comes over to Callie's with me and leaves at the halfway point of the visit so we can watch the latest Game of Thrones episode or play a game that my wife wouldn't enjoy.

Laurie has never communicated, and she has had plenty of opportunities to, that she wasn't okay with this. We have a similar setup with some of her close friends.

As for my going overboard for Callie...I'm still not really sure how giving her a ride once, and calling an Uber for her once when I cancelled on her is somehow unreasonable. Laurie is the one who suggested that I call her an Uber, by the way. Said it was the gentlemanly thing to do. Laurie is also a huge proponent of being kind to people that you care about. She's given, not loaned, literally thousands of dollars to her friends over the course of our relationship. She's bought plane tickets for her friends, driven them across the country in more than one case. She's brought some of them to live with us temporarily in more than one instance. All of this without asking me. I wouldn't have said no, but she still should have asked me. What I'm getting at here is that given the context of what she does for the people in her life, calling a cab and spending less than $5 in gas money shouldn't be considered unreasonable.

I think I've clarified a lot, but if anyone has further questions, I'm willing to answer them.

The Update!

Laurie came out of the guest room early this morning and woke me up because she wanted to talk. She apologized for shutting herself in and shutting down instead of engaging me in a conversation. She admitted that I deserve at least a conversation.

It was a blur and so many things were discussed so I'm not even going to try to give a play by play.

Laurie broke down and cried and I held her as we talked. I tried to be as supportive as I could, because she seemed to be in a lot of pain. I was glad to be there for her.

What it boiled down to is that Laurie had been seeing Chad behind my and Callie's back for four years. She had said that I was the safer bet for her, and she settled for me knowing I was a better husband. But she was in love with him. She has felt guilty for his death because it happened after a fight they had. He wanted to come clean with us. He wanted divorces, and Laurie didn't. She said that he told her he'd rather be dead than keep up the lie. She feels directly responsible for his suicide, and every time she sees Callie, she feels the guilt and pain over again, and she can't handle it. She wanted me to end my friendship with Callie so that she didn't have to deal with her emotions.

I don't know where things stand with us right now. This is another huge bombshell. I don't think that this is going to be good for us though. She's agreed to counselling with me, and is currently moving out of the house and in with her best friend, Susan, for the time being while we sort all of this out. We've made an appointment for a marriage counselor for early next week, and I am looking into a lawyer, just in case.

Thank you to everyone who posted their advice. I'm posting this because there was a surprising amount of people who wanted me to update, so here it is.

I don't really have any more questions other than: Is this even worth salvaging? But none of you can answer that.

tl;dr: Laurie cheated with Chad, which is why she wanted me to cut Callie out. We're seeing a counselor next week, I'm looking into my options. Laurie has temporarily moved out. I feel like my entire world just flipped inside out.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:00

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Fuckin Chad thundercock!!!!! :argh:

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:05

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Uh huh you were cucked by Chad you say? Sure

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:07

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Glad to know my scabarous heart was dead on correct at the start of the story.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:07

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

feedmegin posted:

My dudes have you considered having a National Health Service? It turns out that works pretty well, by and large.

how does it work in europe, healthcare wise?

i had a friend saying they were going to get an EU passport so when they retire they can just show up in the country their parents came over from for healthcare when they retire, but i suspect that won't fly?

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:08

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I had a nightmare about wanting to text Hugh :smith:

aaaaaa

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:09

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Go to him. You'll never be happy if you don't

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:11

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

Glad to know my scabarous heart was dead on correct at the start of the story.

You're a marketing man, don't be credulous. Look at the giveaways. The first one didn't get the 100% agreement they wanted (about the noble perfect nice guy) so the second one goes overboard, but it's a person whose only real knowledge comes from a grouchy rear end in a top hat's memeified version of relationships. Game of Thrones, South Park, and Kardashians as the shows of choice?

"Oh it wasn't relevant but she's literally a cartoon villain who has done everything wrong and I am perfect"

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:12

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

This one is long but the surprise twist ending on part 2 it made it worth it. You should read the whole thing but I added some bolding for the lazy.

My wife [27F] has asked me [29M] to stop talking to my best friend [28F], and is upset that I'm sad about it.

Sounds like your garden variety boundary issues right? LOL NO

Update: My wife [27F] has asked me [29M] to stop talking to my best friend [28F], and is upset that I'm sad about it.

On the bright side he already has her replacement lined up and no doubt Laurie wants to sink her fangs into Chad's dead flesh and reanimate him as a loving thrall to keep forever in her gloomy mansion because she seems to be some kind of child of the loving night.

Motherfucker fucked around with this message at 16:17 on Jun 2, 2017

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:15

Benagain: Oct 10, 2007; Can you see that I am serious?; Fun Shoe

quote:

I don't know where things stand with us right now. This is another huge bombshell. I don't think that this is going to be good for us though. She's agreed to counselling with me, and is currently moving out of the house and in with her best friend, Susan, for the time being while we sort all of this out. We've made an appointment for a marriage counselor for early next week, and I am looking into a lawyer, just in case.

What the hell is wrong with this guy.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:15

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

maskenfreiheit posted:

how does it work in europe, healthcare wise?

i had a friend saying they were going to get an EU passport so when they retire they can just show up in the country their parents came over from for healthcare when they retire, but i suspect that won't fly?

All depends on the country. He can't get 'an EU passport', he has to get e.g. a French or German one. In the UK, to get the free routine healthcare you have to be a UK resident (regardless of citizenship, including British). I'm pretty drat sure the NHS isn't going to charge you for the ambulance if you keel over in the street regardless of that, though.

(Though some Googling does show that they charge you, or rather your insurer, if it's a road traffic accident and you're the one at fault - more like 50 quid than a grand, though!)

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:18

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Benagain posted:

What the hell is wrong with this guy.

His ability to sense evil has been blunted by spending the majority of his marriage in the keeping of a witch. No doubt the soul pact he signed at the commencement of their marriage in his blood somehow keeps him from seeing things clearly.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:18

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

feedmegin posted:

All depends on the country. He can't get 'an EU passport', he has to get e.g. a French or German one. In the UK, to get the free routine healthcare you have to be a UK resident (regardless of citizenship, including British). I'm pretty drat sure the NHS isn't going to charge you for the ambulance if you keel over in the street regardless of that, though.

(Though some Googling does show that they charge you, or rather your insurer, if it's a road traffic accident and you're the one at fault - more like 50 quid than a grand, though!)

I'm purposefully being a little vague, but yeah he'd be retiring in an EU country. I'm not clear if he can pick anywhere in the EU or just the country of his passport. He'd be living off interest from investments, and register as a resident wherever he was.

I'm just not clear if say, you show up with a polish passport in Berlin, purchase a condo, and register your address you can get health care - having never lived there or paid taxes there before.

I don't think he'd plan to go to England (soon to be Wangland when N. Ireland and Scotland jettison

)

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:23

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Pick posted:

I (24M) am too tired to have sex with my fiancee (24F) as much as she would like.

Just going back to this one to remind everyone that dude is almost certainly a software engineer and he doesn't have to be destroying his relationship, or all enjoyment outside of work period, for minimal gain in his career. Software engineers are the most in-demand human resource in America after nurses these days. If he's anywhere decently competent, he could easily walk away to somewhere that will pay him a handsome wage for a regular humane 8-5 40 hour week with ordinary work-life balance. But he'll never do that because he's too brainwashed into thinking he needs to "advance" at his insanely overworked slavery tech shop to keep up with his further enslaved bros. Tech giants are a sad, sad loop of delusional dreams that usually end in failure.

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:24

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Blue Train posted:

Go to him. You'll never be happy if you don't

I can't. Garbage can't crawl out of a dumpster.

sorry, Dumpster^TM

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:28

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# ? May 15, 2024 10:06

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

But then he wouldn't be working for one of the big four tech companies! he may as well just kill himself at that point

# ? Jun 2, 2017 16:29

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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