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it's like the scene from harry potter with the letters flying into the house through the chimney, except with more poop
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May 16, 2017 18:10
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Cindy Shitbird posted:it's like the scene from harry potter with the letters flying into the house through the chimney, except with more poop
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May 16, 2017 18:44
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flosofl posted:Was she inspired by this: She's watched Korra and the Airbender movie a few times, I'm pretty sure she'd enjoy a cartoon about Turdbending. But after further investigation, it turns out it's me. I'm the pooper.
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May 16, 2017 19:45
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PXJ800 posted:My five-year-old asked if i wanted a picture of hers to hang up at work, and of course I said OK. She started dealing out a handful of cute pictures, typical stuff she likes to draw — cats on playgrounds, penguins, etc.., but topped off the stack with this: The blue hat and orange mouth made me think it's Donald Duck pooping all over everything.
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May 16, 2017 20:55
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PXJ800 posted:My five-year-old asked if i wanted a picture of hers to hang up at work, and of course I said OK. She started dealing out a handful of cute pictures, typical stuff she likes to draw — cats on playgrounds, penguins, etc.., but topped off the stack with this: Last summer I was looking through a stack of drawings my 9 year old niece had left at my parents house. It was mostly typical little girl stuff... mermaids, dogs, ponies, etc. But there was also this... 
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May 16, 2017 22:06
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Is that a self-portrait? And if so, is that a bow on her neck or did she give herself boobs? 
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May 16, 2017 22:52
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Kevyn posted:Last summer I was looking through a stack of drawings my 9 year old niece had left at my parents house. It was mostly typical little girl stuff... mermaids, dogs, ponies, etc. But there was also this... PXJ800 posted:My five-year-old asked if i wanted a picture of hers to hang up at work, and of course I said OK. She started dealing out a handful of cute pictures, typical stuff she likes to draw — cats on playgrounds, penguins, etc.., but topped off the stack with this: These are magnificent.
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May 17, 2017 01:02
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My daughter drew this.
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May 18, 2017 07:42
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Dekenai posted:My daughter drew this. And even better for people who were drunk the day before! I'm kidding; hair of the dog has never worked for me. TOM: "I am Soup-Man." ME: "Uh, okay. Soup-Man? Are you sure?" TOM: "Yeah. Soup-Man. I am Soup-Man! I have red underclothes!" He meant "Superman." RIHANNA: "What did you have for breakfast?" ME: "Honestly, I drank some of your Soylent." RIHANNA: "Oh, that's why you're crazy today."  ME: "Do you guys know the phrase, 'TGIF'? It means, 'Thank God It's Friday.'" TOM: "God's not real."  TOM: "Friday is sex day. Everybody's gonna make love." <--- out of nowhere, when I was in the middle of talking. RIHANNA: "Why do these condoms have particles?" I have no actual idea what she meant by this, but I think she meant the studded or ribbed kind? Again, this was out of nowhere.
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May 19, 2017 05:38
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I was grocery shopping the other day and a kid was skipping along next to her mom singing, "Garbage ba-AH-ags, garbage BAGS!" I guess I know what they were going to buy.
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May 19, 2017 13:09
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My son was singing the "If you're happy and you know it.." song to me. He just re-learned it at preschool. I was doing all the prompts with him. So I clapped my hands/stomped my feet/shouted "hoo-ray". We go through it a few times and he gets The Look. I'm sure you're all familiar with this look - it means your kid thinks he's about to put one over on you. So for the next verse he sings, "If you're happy and you know it...BUY ME TOYS!" and then cackles for like 30 seconds straight.
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May 20, 2017 00:25
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Just picture an eleven year old boy calmly, peacefully telling you the plot of Moana for five minutes while you are trying to help other kids with schoolwork.
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May 23, 2017 20:55
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My 6 year old nephew came up to me with a can of coke, "can you help me? I can't open it" Sure, I help and open it: it explodes all over the place a he laughs his rear end off. Li'l scoundrel shook it 
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May 25, 2017 12:57
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sweeperbravo posted:Just picture an eleven year old boy calmly, peacefully telling you the plot of Moana for five minutes while you are trying to help other kids with schoolwork. Was it one continuous sentence or a billion unconnected half-sentences?
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May 25, 2017 13:28
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Powaqoatse posted:My 6 year old nephew came up to me with a can of coke, "can you help me? I can't open it" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0yq37CwFDM This?
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May 25, 2017 16:23
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May 25, 2017 19:47
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cakesmith handyman posted:Was it one continuous sentence or a billion unconnected half-sentences? One slow, quiet, unrelenting sentence
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May 25, 2017 20:56
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Today at work a four-year old told my coworker and I that he was going to 'destroy' us.
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May 25, 2017 21:09
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What are you trying to say? I got pranked irl and you're posting youtubes
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May 25, 2017 21:46
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Powaqoatse posted:What are you trying to say? I got pranked irl and you're posting youtubes I think they were saying "your real life experience reminds me of this amusing scene from a television show".
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May 26, 2017 02:33
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Oh, right. Thought they were trying to call me out for pretending a TV thing happened to me.
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May 26, 2017 07:15
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I'm an rear end in a top hat but not that much of an rear end in a top hat.
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May 28, 2017 07:20
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https://twitter.com/KidsWriteJokes/status/868807916891099136
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May 28, 2017 13:54
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Tensokuu posted:I'm an rear end in a top hat but not that much of an rear end in a top hat. No worries  We were walking through a forest the following day, and he was talking to his younger brother: "we could cut down all these trees with a chainsaw" His brother: "We could cut heads off humans and then cut the heads into quarts" Me:  E: Also they found a Swedish Cluelike card game at the cabin, and named one of the characters Krankenstyle
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May 28, 2017 23:04
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An eight-year-old I work with took me aside and asked what the "place the boobies come together" is, because he saw it - on a girl! - and didn't know what its name was. Turns out, he saw one of my co-workers on a break outside, eating lunch, earlier. Since it's 85 degrees today, she took off her overshirt and ate in a tank top, which showed enough cleavage for an 8 year old boy to notice. I told him that he'll find out when he gets older, but told him that it's not nice to look there, and you should always look at a girl's face. His response was a grumpy "that's not as fun as the place the boobies come together".
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Jun 2, 2017 00:43
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Baby nephew is crazy about Finding Dory. I picked him up a Dory plushie. He got super excited when he recognized it. "Dory!" And then he gave it a big kiss. Writer Cath has a new favorite as of 00:56 on Jun 2, 2017 |
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Jun 2, 2017 00:54
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MisterBibs posted:I told him that he'll find out when he gets older, but told him that it's not nice to look there, and you should always look at a girl's face. His response was a grumpy "that's not as fun as the place the boobies come together". You wasted a golden opportunity to invent a term and track its spread. ("That's called the clomshire, but don't tell the other kids. They might not understand.") Giving sage advice was the right thing to do, sure, but jeez. burial has a new favorite as of 06:05 on Jun 2, 2017 |
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Jun 2, 2017 06:03
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I'm on the kid's side on this one tbh.
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Jun 2, 2017 09:13
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Writer Cath posted:Baby nephew is crazy about Finding Dory. I picked him up a Dory plushie. Have you ever tried watching real undersea nature docs with him? I was at a store that had the TVs playing Oceans or something like that and kids were reacting to clownfish footage like the Beatles were in town.
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Jun 2, 2017 16:07
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titties posted:I'm on the kid's side on this one tbh. Well sure, someone with a clomshire in their av has to be a fan.
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Jun 2, 2017 16:46
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"the place the boobies come together" would make a great PYF subtitle
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Jun 2, 2017 17:12
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Choco1980 posted:Well sure, someone with a clomshire in their av has to be a fan. Together, we can force this to catch on.
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Jun 2, 2017 17:28
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:
Not yet, but that could work. When his brother was this age, I use to watch the Sea World live feed with him.
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Jun 3, 2017 04:13
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MisterBibs posted:An eight-year-old I work with took me aside and asked what the "place the boobies come together" is, because he saw it - on a girl! - and didn't know what its name was. hell, same
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Jun 3, 2017 12:02
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lemon-lyme disease posted:You wasted a golden opportunity to invent a term and track its spread. ("That's called the clomshire, but don't tell the other kids. They might not understand.") drat you, a friend of a friend posted her wedding pictures online tonight and all I could think was 'man look at the clomshire on that' 
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Jun 3, 2017 23:33
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LooseLeafTea posted:drat you, a friend of a friend posted her wedding pictures online tonight and all I could think was 'man look at the clomshire on that' It begins. Also, shame on you. Didn't you know? It's not nice to look at the clomshire, even if it IS more fun. Oh man. This really brightened my day.
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Jun 4, 2017 02:48
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lemon-lyme disease posted:You wasted a golden opportunity to invent a term and track its spread. ("That's called the clomshire, but don't tell the other kids. They might not understand.") I considered doing this as a joke, but two things stopped me: - Kids never keep things quiet. Especially when you tell them to, doubly so if it's a New Word - The lady whose cleavage was spotted is really conscious about her body, is saving for a breast reduction in part because she busts out of anything but the most conservative clothing, and told me once she likes working with kids because they tend to be young enough to not care about her figure. - If the kid (or anyone, really) started talking about her clomshire, I think it'd legit break her heart a little. Thus, the don't-be-a-creep-and-stare-at-a-ladys-rack lesson. MisterBibs has a new favorite as of 04:48 on Jun 4, 2017 |
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Jun 4, 2017 04:39
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I DID say it was the right thing to do. I like to think I'd have made the same choice. I just really, really can't guarantee it.
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Jun 4, 2017 05:18
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I was at the Sea Life Centre yesterday, a little kid was looking at the sharks with his Dad and babbling away about how all the other fish had to be careful to not get eaten. After he finished talking, he paused and then just said to himself "sharks" in a very satisfied tone of voice.
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Jun 4, 2017 23:39
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they're makin' me teach the ol' middle school classes again. RANDOM CHILD: "Hey, Fleta, guess what my favorite book is." ME: "Harry Potter?" RANDOM CHILD: "NO! Out of Africa, of course!" That's me told. e: I might not have any more Rihanna updates.  The last few weeks of school are ahead of us, my classes with them finish this week, and the entire class decided they just couldn't be bothered to complete their final assignment so everyone is failing and mad at me for daring to not laugh delightedly at their adorable antics. I was really looking forward to that condom presentation, I have to say. Ah, well. The curse of the foreign teacher in Asia. How they love you, until you become inconvenient. Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 07:49 on Jun 6, 2017 |
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Jun 6, 2017 07:46
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