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If you just drench those apples in honey, I'd eat it.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 02:13 |
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# ? May 15, 2024 04:49 |
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sick of Applebees posted:Yeah why would you write about things that interest kids to get kids reading?! Are you white knighting a book about a farting video game character? jfc
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 02:45 |
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Railing Kill posted:I know kids books aren't necessarily Shakespeare, but why the gently caress is a book about a farting video game character in a school library? https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_nr_n_0?fst=as%3Aoff&rh=n%3A283155%2Cn%3A4%2Ck%3Afart&keywords=fart&ie=UTF8&qid=1496627612&rnid=1000
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 02:53 |
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yaffle posted:https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_nr_n_0?fst=as%3Aoff&rh=n%3A283155%2Cn%3A4%2Ck%3Afart&keywords=fart&ie=UTF8&qid=1496627612&rnid=1000 Yep, books about farts sure do exist. No argument here. But I still don't think it's a prudish opinion to say that most of these are a waste of space in a fuckin library.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 02:58 |
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Railing Kill posted:Yep, books about farts sure do exist. No argument here. But I still don't think it's a prudish opinion to say that most of these are a waste of space in a fuckin library. You know who else thought he should get to decide what books shouldn't be allowed in libraries?
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 03:01 |
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Guy Goodbody posted:You know who else thought he should get to decide what books shouldn't be allowed in libraries? Mods, please change my name to Fart Book Hitler. tia
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 03:03 |
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Railing Kill posted:Yep, books about farts sure do exist. No argument here. But I still don't think it's a prudish opinion to say that most of these are a waste of space in a fuckin library. What makes a book a good use of space in a library?
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 03:09 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 03:16 |
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Railing Kill posted:Yep, books about farts sure do exist. No argument here. But I still don't think it's a prudish opinion to say that most of these are a waste of space in a fuckin library. Any book that can get a second/third grade boy to read is a good book, all but a very small number of them are profoundly averse to anything that isn't watching idiots play minecraft on youtube.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 03:42 |
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Jamesman posted:
When I worked retail I knew a guy people called Stinky Steve - face like Will Ferrell, hair like Sammy Hagar, farts that smelled like a dead carcass stuffed with minced garlic
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 05:01 |
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yaffle posted:Any book that can get a second/third grade boy to read is a good book, all but a very small number of them are profoundly averse to anything that isn't watching idiots play minecraft on youtube. I was about to write something pithy, but then I realized a line of educational children's books where historical figures meet flatulent video game characters is probably a million dollar idea
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 05:22 |
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Like, Benjamin Franklin helps Sonic stop farting with the help of his farmers almanac, lightning rod and experience as a US diplomat
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 05:25 |
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Comptroll The Forums posted:Like, Benjamin Franklin helps Sonic stop farting with the help of his farmers almanac, lightning rod and experience as a US diplomat gently caress Sonic Benjamin Franklin and the Hemp Collective Battle Anti-dissectionism Female sidekick all with a bag on her head It's okay kids, he does
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 05:47 |
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Yeah but who's farting you didn't mention any farting ??
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 05:56 |
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Comptroll The Forums posted:Yeah but who's farting you didn't mention any farting ?? *ahem* it was called 'wind' back then how do you think they get the kite up?
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 06:02 |
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We don't need a modern YA author to write a fart book involving Benny Franklin. Franklin invented fart books. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fart_Proudly
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 06:59 |
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Thanks to the internet, my first thought upon seeing a kid thing mixed with farts is "it's probably a sexual thing"
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 07:09 |
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Comptroll The Forums posted:I was about to write something pithy, but then I realized a line of educational children's books where historical figures meet flatulent video game characters is probably a million dollar idea Comptroll The Forums posted:Like, Benjamin Franklin helps Sonic stop farting with the help of his farmers almanac, lightning rod and experience as a US diplomat Pos def. Will you make the thread? Or make a killing I guess?
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 07:30 |
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Thanks to this epidemic in fart based media for children once they become adults they'll all become fart fetishists.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 07:31 |
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Reading this thread you would think that some of you had never been children.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 07:42 |
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Just Offscreen posted:Reading this thread you would think that some of you had never been children. Most goons were the kid nobody wanted around
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 08:44 |
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My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being hosed arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I hosed you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest loving I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, loving in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every gently caress I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger gently caress than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I hosed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to gently caress a farting woman when every gently caress drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also. You say when I go back you will suck me off and you want me to lick your oval office, you little depraved blackguard. I hope you will surprise me some time when I am asleep dressed, steal over to me with a whore’s glow in your slumberous eyes, gently undo button after button in the fly of my trousers and gently take out your lover’s fat mickey, lap it up in your moist mouth and suck away at it till it gets fatter and stiffer and comes off in your mouth. Sometimes too I shall surprise you asleep, lift up your skirts and open your drawers gently, then lie down gently by you and begin to lick lazily round your bush. You will begin to stir uneasily then I will lick the lips of my darling’s oval office. You will begin to groan and grunt and sigh and fart with lust in your sleep. Then I will lick up faster and faster like a ravenous dog until your oval office is a mass of slime and your body wriggling wildly. Goodnight, my little farting Nora, my dirty little fuckbird! There is one lovely word, darling, you have underlined to make me pull myself off better. Write me more about that and yourself, sweetly, dirtier, dirtier.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 08:51 |
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Kennel posted:My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being hosed arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I hosed you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest loving I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, loving in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every gently caress I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger gently caress than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I hosed them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to gently caress a farting woman when every gently caress drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 08:57 |
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That's some quality James Joyce, you pleb.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 09:00 |
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The MSJ posted:That's some quality James Joyce, you pleb. "quality"
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 09:00 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 09:01 |
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Someone should publish a book of porned up letters from history. "My dearest Cornelia, I miss you every day. Life is tough here on the front. I'm afraid General Jackson shall make another push on the city before our time is done here. Our first attack went horribly. My good friend Mathias was killed, and as I gazed upon his shattered skull, I was reminded of your naughty meat-hole. His brains lay astrewn the battefield, as your various folds and oily crevices lay astrewn your nether regions. The smells were similar too. Until I am reunited with you, my love, my thoughts remain with you and your massive melons. Yours always, Jedediah, your labial love lick-boy."
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 09:23 |
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Don't be silly, people in olden days didn't have sex.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 09:28 |
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Bloody Hedgehog posted:Someone should publish a book of porned up letters from history. Sigmund sawed-off loving Freud posted:Woe to you, my Princess, when I come... you shall see who is the stronger, a gentle girl who doesn't eat enough or a big wild man who has cocaine in his body. Jay Z Joyce posted:“My love for you allows me to pray to the spirit of eternal beauty and tenderness mirrored in your eyes or to fling you down under me on that soft belly of yours and gently caress you up behind, like a hog riding a sow, glorying in the open shame of your upturned dress and white girlish drawers and in the confusion of your flushed cheeks and tangled hair.” "Ben hit-this-poo poo-G Wash. Franklin posted:i. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 09:33 |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JouE7mOVdI4
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 09:35 |
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Memento has a new favorite as of 12:01 on Jun 5, 2017 |
# ? Jun 5, 2017 09:38 |
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If you want to hear the Joyce letters (and other delights) read out then the F Plus has you covered
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 09:41 |
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SOMEONE CALL LIN-MANUEL MIRANDA I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A FOLLOW-UP TO HAMILTON
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 09:46 |
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That's a very good point. Philanderin' Franklin has been a popular history fact for so long that I'm surprised nobody's done an adaptation focused on his personal life.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 10:41 |
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Jamesman posted:
What are you talking about, I have all the Stinky Steve novels, they're Les Rougon-Macquart of our time.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 10:44 |
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Railing Kill posted:I know kids books aren't necessarily Shakespeare, but why the gently caress is a book about a farting video game character in a school library? You really don't know anything about kids, do you?
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 10:52 |
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syscall girl posted:Woe to you, my Princess, when I come... you shall see who is the stronger, a gentle girl who doesn't eat enough or a big wild man who has cocaine in his body. Well hello, new opening line.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 11:53 |
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Hyperlynx posted:You really don't know anything about kids, do you? I have a three year old, and I understand that kids like goofy poo poo. I just don't think it's a controversial opinion to say that the adults in charge of a school library can probably pick better books than one about a farting video game character, even if they pick other goofy poo poo. It's not just that it has farts in it. It's that it's clearly just farts and it's lovely (pun totally intended) all around. That's why it was posted in the first place. It's stunning that there's people getting on my case about not appreciating *~fart jokes~*, but the joke in the first place was, "This book is hot garbage." "I didn't ask Lafayette to come here to save us, George. He's bringing French WHOORES with him." Yep. Checks out.
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 12:16 |
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Hyperlynx posted:You really don't know anything about kids, do you? I know back in my day we clamored for Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark where the fetid rot of corpses was implied and the art left us gleefully terrified. None of this farting pixel nonsense!
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 12:26 |
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# ? May 15, 2024 04:49 |
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How many school libraries have every Goosebumps book?
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# ? Jun 5, 2017 12:48 |