|
Rolo posted:It took years for me to finally be an rear end in a top hat to a stranger over something I've dealt with every other loving day. I feel for you, Mr. Bumpole.
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2017 09:07
|
|
Hi I have a pickup for Rolo.
Hey bro did you say your name was [Person]?
|
|
| # ? May 19, 2024 06:36 |
|
|
Thin Privilege posted:This reminds me: people who have lots of money who tell you to do stuff, completely oblivious to the value of money for poor people. Similarly, people who have had a good job for a long time or got a good job easily (doctor, family business, etc) try to give you job advice. My mom worked her way up from a secretary to head of I.T. in the Las Vegas casino biz in a short amount of time in the 1980s. No degree or anything. She hasn't had to work a lovely retail job since the 1970s. Oh but she knows all about working lovely retail in the 2000s. She told me that during my job interviews I should tell the interviewer about my social disabilities. "It's illegal for them to not hire you because of them!" Yeah, if they admit it. But they can sure as hell can say, "We'll get back to you" and never call. That's not to say she didn't have good advice when it came to the actual job interview and what managers looked for, but she has no idea how lovely companies have become in treating their employees or even how customers act, if it's a retail job.
|
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2017 11:39
|
|
|
bean_shadow posted:My mom worked her way up from a secretary to head of I.T. in the Las Vegas casino biz in a short amount of time in the 1980s. No degree or anything. She hasn't had to work a lovely retail job since the 1970s. Oh but she knows all about working lovely retail in the 2000s. Yeah my dad was the same, he left school in 1978 with mediocre high school qualifications (at age 16, a point where nowadays we say kids are so unqualified they're not even allowed to leave school). In his tiny nothing home town he applied for 4 jobs, was interviewed for 4 jobs, got offers for 4 jobs. That first job at age 16 was the stepping stone which led him to work his way all the way up to being high-level in a major global bank. By contrast, I finished uni at age 21. I had two extra levels of qualifications, and all my grades were way better than anything he'd ever gotten. I applied for 100+ jobs in a major city and didn't even get a call back. My parents assumed I was sitting on my rear end not trying, but the only advice they could give was "go and hand out your CV in shops!" to which most of the shop staff reacted by telling me to apply online like a normal person. Eventually a friend did me a favour and I got a job working night shifts in a hotel, being paid wages that were basically unliveable. This did not lead to a bountiful career in the hotel industry - instead I bounced around a bunch of different, more or less unrelated jobs. Now that I'm in a professional career the old man has tons of good and useful advice, because "in a good job and looking to move" is a very different experience. The route in to work for young people has changed fundamentally though - both in terms of expectations of education level and what kind of work a degree gets you - and I think there's a lot of people in their 40s-60s who can't grasp that, especially if they're in the professions or IT because if they have moved in the last 20 years they've probably had recruiters hanging off their dicks doing half the work for them. It sucks for them sometimes too - when I was unemployed and going to the job centre to sign on for benefits, there were people there (around 2011-12 or so) who were in their 40s, had worked at the same place their whole lives, then been made redundant in the wake of the recession and had no idea how to find a new job because they'd done it once at age 17 and never again.
|
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2017 13:46
|
|
|
KozmoNaut posted:I feel for you, Mr. Bumpole. Never should have PM'd you my birth certificate. 
|
|
#
?
Jun 4, 2017 14:04
|
|
|
Rolo posted:It took years for me to finally be an rear end in a top hat to a stranger over something I've dealt with every other loving day. My name is Ursula (yes, like in The Little Mermaid  ), and I get it.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 13:07
|
|
|
YeahTubaMike posted:My name is Ursula (yes, like in The Little Mermaid My name is Jerry Cotton like in the magazines and movies.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 13:10
|
|
|
I have an uncommon first name made even more uncommon because my parents added an extra letter, because apparently my dad thought it made my name "aristocratic." So now I have to argue with people about how my name is spelled, and I'm almost certain my current employer is either illiterate, suffering from Alzheimer's, an rear end in a top hat, just plain stupid, or all of the above because COME THE gently caress ON I WROTE MY loving NAME DOWN FOR YOU AND NOT ONLY DID YOU MISS THE EXTRA LETTER YOU ALSO TURNED MY NAME INTO TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORDS JESUS loving CHRIST LADY STOP SNORTING CRUSHED PAIN PILLS AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE WORDS BEFORE YOUR BLOODSHOT EYES AAAAAAARGH
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 13:19
|
|
|
Screaming Idiot posted:I have an uncommon first name made even more uncommon because my parents added an extra letter, because apparently my dad thought it made my name "aristocratic." So now I have to argue with people about how my name is spelled, and I'm almost certain my current employer is either illiterate, suffering from Alzheimer's, an rear end in a top hat, just plain stupid, or all of the above because COME THE gently caress ON I WROTE MY loving NAME DOWN FOR YOU AND NOT ONLY DID YOU MISS THE EXTRA LETTER YOU ALSO TURNED MY NAME INTO TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORDS JESUS loving CHRIST LADY STOP SNORTING CRUSHED PAIN PILLS AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE WORDS BEFORE YOUR BLOODSHOT EYES AAAAAAARGH Settle down, Beayvis.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 13:29
|
|
|
Jerry Cotton posted:Settle down, Beayvis. HOW DOES SOMEONE MISSPELL A WORD THAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM AND CONTINUE TO DO SO FOR FIVE loving YEARS, USUALLY IN A DIFFERENT WAY EACH TIME FRAAARGHBLAAAARGHFAAAANGH If she was just doing it to gently caress with me I'd understand, but she misspells everything. She spells "tardies" as "tardy's" for gently caress's sake. She use multiple exclamation marks on memos and notices. Reading anything this woman types makes me want to track down every teacher she had in school and hurl drain cleaner into their faces before chugging a glass or two myself.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 13:37
|
|
|
Some people just don't want to learn. Or have respect for people.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 13:39
|
|
|
Slime posted:Some people just don't want to learn. Or have respect for people. pretty much this.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 16:38
|
|
|
Screaming Idiot posted:HOW DOES SOMEONE MISSPELL A WORD THAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM Username checks out My name is Brandon which is pretty common but I somehow get Brendan/Branden/Brandan??? which are all less common all the time
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 16:48
|
|
|
Honestly a stranger spelling your name wrong is fine, they can't be expected to guess which way your name is spelt just by hearing it so they just default to the most common spelling or if it's a foreign name probably ask. But if it's someone you interact with regularly and have corrected multiple times then it just shows they don't actually give a flying gently caress about you. what i'm saying screaming idiot is try seeing if you can get a job with a boss who isn't so drat disrespectful to her employees
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 17:08
|
|
|
I don't use my given name so when I tell people (who don't need to know my birthname/deadname for filing purposes) what it is, they always insist "No, what's your name". I just told you it. That's the name I use. I don't wanna use my deadname. Quit making this awkward and annoying.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 17:24
|
|
|
wtf is a deadname
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 17:42
|
|
|
It's the name that was given at birth, but doesn't match with the gender of a trans person.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 17:43
|
|
|
Really not trying to be insensitive and I'm curious, but why deadname? I missed it the first time but you called it your birthname - why not just stick with that?
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 17:46
|
|
|
Joey Freshwater posted:Really not trying to be insensitive and I'm curious, but why deadname? I missed it the first time but you called it your birthname - why not just stick with that? It refers to a person who no longer exists. It's complicated.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 17:51
|
|
|
But the person isn't really dead, they simply transitioned. You don't kill them, you transform them.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 17:59
|
|
|
I think it's for emphasis - don't call me x, x no longer exists. It's not a matter of preference, x is dead. There is no x anymore. Going with "preferred" name or something less drastic may result in people not quite 'getting' it.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 18:09
|
|
|
Screaming Idiot posted:HOW DOES SOMEONE MISSPELL A WORD THAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM I have a Chinese surname that is only three letters long, yet 80% of people I interact with at various jobs flip the second and third letters, probably because it looks like it matches the pronunciation that way. That wouldn't be a big deal in itself, but this almost always happened over intra-company e-mails wherein my first initial and last name were prominently displayed as my e-mail address. I don't know if these people just assumed my e-mail was misspelled, or what.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 18:12
|
|
|
queserasera posted:It refers to a person who no longer exists. It's complicated. Typically, names are given to people before their personalities even exist.  e: I don't care if someone calls their former name a deadname but it's not very handy since most people will not know what the gently caress they mean 
3D Megadoodoo has a new favorite as of 18:14 on Jun 5, 2017 |
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 18:12
|
|
|
BioEnchanted posted:I think it's for emphasis - don't call me x, x no longer exists. It's not a matter of preference, x is dead. There is no x anymore. Going with "preferred" name or something less drastic may result in people not quite 'getting' it. Pretty much this. People view it more like a "oh they won't mind if I use this name, they just like the other name better" instead of "if I use this name I'm being a giant shithead and misgendering them".
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 18:13
|
|
|
Sociopastry posted:Pretty much this. People view it more like a "oh they won't mind if I use this name, they just like the other name better" instead of "if I use this name I'm being a giant shithead and misgendering them". Correct me if I'm misunderstanding, but I think a part of the confusion comes from the idea of Transition - that you were one, now you're the other when if fact you were always the second one. It isn't a "transition" so much as a mismatch in brain chemistry and physiology - changing the brain is nearly impossible and the ways we do have are messy and dangerous so we don't touch the brain - we get the body to match instead. Is that kind of the idea? I'm a cis-male who is trying to get his head around it so if I'm going off a false assumption let me know.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 18:21
|
|
|
I have zero credibility for input on this but 'deadname' just seems to add more to it that's not needed. If you tell someone "Hey (name) was my birthname but I prefer to be called (new name)" and the person continues calling you your birthname, that's on them for being a dick. Calling it a completely new phrase (maybe it's not, it's just new to me) just leads to confusion and conversations like this. Why would that conversation even happen, though? Did you/wouldn't you legally change your name to what you wanted? I would think that's what would go on any internal work paperwork and even if someone did figure out the 'original' name, they're even more of a dick for using it. That said, whatever helps you with your situation you should go with without worrying what other people think about it.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 18:22
|
|
|
I don't speak for all trans people, obv, just my experience. It's mostly about gently convincing cis-people to take you more seriously. That sounds harsh, but that's the long and short of it. A lot of cis people, even if they're not transphobic assholes, don't get a lot of what trans people do to feel more comfortable in a world where most people want us dead or to "suck it up". So in order to get across the seriousness of the transition and the need to be recognized as the person you are, you use terms like "deadname" and the like. Yes, there's always going to be some dick who will misgender you/misname you, but for those that are more understanding and supportive but maybe "don't get it", it takes a little impressing about the seriousness of the situation. It's not that these are my preferred pronouns or my preferred name, These *are* my pronouns, this *is* my name. And to some trans people, that person they were is "dead". Personally, I'm working through how I relate to myself both through the lens of trauma that's happened to me and through the lens of transition and coming to terms with my gender and presentation. I wouldn't say that the old me is "dead", but she's not here and is gone at this point. On top of that I identify as nonbinary which has its own can of worms, so there's that, too. As for legally changing names, in a lot of places it's very difficult for trans people to get their documentation to be changed. There's a lot of lovely gatekeeping and practices. Some people can't get there, or it's taking a while. Some people just don't feel the need to get their documents changed/name changed. It depends on the person. Personally, I haven't settled completely on a new name yet, so changing my name at this point would be iffy on if I'd keep it. Better to wait until I'm sure.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 18:33
|
|
|
My mom wanted to name me after her friend who was killed in a car accident, but my dad thought it was too weird (Jasmine) so I ended up with literally the most popular baby name of the year instead (Jennifer). That's how he picked it. Best part is he pretty much abandoned my sister and I as kids and I fully cut off contact when I was 16 so I was named in a really stupid way by someone I don't even know.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 20:09
|
|
|
BioEnchanted posted:I'm a cis-male My condolences
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 20:54
|
|
|
I hate people who text while you are talking to them because you know they aren't paying attention to a goddamned thing you are saying.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 21:02
|
|
|
Wizgot posted:I hate people who text while you are talking to them because you know they aren't paying attention to a goddamned thing you are saying. Stop talking and text them instead.
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 21:21
|
|
|
I have a fairly common first name, and go by the very common nickname that is a part of it, and people ALWAYS spell it wrong. It'd be like meeting someone named Benjamin, who goes by Ben, and then you spell it Byn. It's in the name! Just chop off the extra letters!
|
|
#
?
Jun 5, 2017 22:06
|
|
|
Unrelated, but I thought your avatar was a happy robo chef for a second instead of a ghost chef.
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2017 00:08
|
|
|
if you say deadname, i think deadspin and then i disregard you as a human because you work for gawker hth
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2017 00:34
|
|
|
I named by brother after a friend of mine's older brother, because he had this really badass Pusshead Metallica shirt. He was supposed to be named Craig, but I hated it because it reminded me of the Brady Bunch (there was no one named Craig on the Brady Bunch) so I talked my parents into naming him Jeremy. He told me recently that he wishes he was named Craig.
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2017 01:40
|
|
|
veni veni veni posted:I named by brother after a friend of mine's older brother, because he had this really badass Pusshead Metallica shirt. He was supposed to be named Craig, but I hated it because it reminded me of the Brady Bunch (there was no one named Craig on the Brady Bunch) so I talked my parents into naming him Jeremy. He told me recently that he wishes he was named Craig. Dunno about you, but every Craig I've known has been a prick and a criminal.
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2017 02:06
|
|
|
Sic Semper Goon posted:Dunno about you, but every Craig I've known has been a prick and a criminal. My uncle was named Craig. He was a giant prick. So, yes, you are correct.
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2017 11:43
|
|
|
Every craig I've known has been a terrible super white dude-bro
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2017 11:47
|
|
|
I don't know any Craigs welp that's my input on this Craig thing god bless.
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2017 11:49
|
|
|
Americans can't pronounce Craig properly anyway so you saved him from that.
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2017 12:04
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 19, 2024 06:36 |
|
|
Craigory Hines
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2017 12:53
|
|