UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

«‹›695 »

What is the best flav... you all know what this question is: This poll is closed.
Labour	907	49.92%
Theresa May Team (Conservative)	48	2.64%
Liberal Democrats	31	1.71%
UKIP	13	0.72%
Plaid Cymru	25	1.38%
Green	22	1.21%
Scottish Socialist Party	12	0.66%
Scottish Conservative Party	1	0.06%
Scottish National Party	59	3.25%
Some Kind of Irish Unionist	4	0.22%
Alliance / Irish Nonsectarian	3	0.17%
Some Kind of Irish Nationalist	36	1.98%
Misc. Far Left Trots	35	1.93%
Misc. Far Right Fash	8	0.44%
Monster Raving Loony	49	2.70%
Space Navies Party	39	2.15%
Independent / Single Issue	2	0.11%
Can't Vote	188	10.35%
Won't Vote	8	0.44%
Spoiled Ballot	15	0.83%
Pissflaps	312	17.17%
Total:	1817 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

I don't think that article is gospel or anything but bear in mind it's written by John Lanchester and watered down for an American audience. The point stands that compared to the rest of the English-speaking world Britain has quite an authoritarian political culture.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:31

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 21:07

jBrereton: May 30, 2013; Grimey Drawer

just imagine being the woman in that article lol

*calling 999* "they're DOING DRUGS on this council estate, DO SOMETHING"
"Yeah sure love, you free next week to talk to us about it?"
"YES."
"Alright see you next tuesday." *hangin up*

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:35

dispatch_async: Nov 28, 2014; Imagine having the time to have played through 20 generations of one family in The Sims 2. Imagine making the original two members of that family Neil Buchanan and Cat Deeley. Imagine complaining to Maxis there was no technological progression. You've successfully imagined my life

https://twitter.com/VictoriaLIVE/status/872014707640676352

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:39

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

I like the kneejerk nationalist response that the arrogant American must surely have been wrong and all her complaints must have been based on classist whingeing

edit: this is the journo, just to clarify, whose photo is in the "background" section of the Wikipedia article of the expenses scandal because it resulted from her freedom of information campaigning - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Kingdom_parliamentary_expenses_scandal

freebooter fucked around with this message at 12:45 on Jun 6, 2017

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:40

Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

dispatch_async posted:

https://twitter.com/VictoriaLIVE/status/872014707640676352

A running theme of UK politics is politicians not knowing anything about anything.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:41

dispatch_async: Nov 28, 2014; Imagine having the time to have played through 20 generations of one family in The Sims 2. Imagine making the original two members of that family Neil Buchanan and Cat Deeley. Imagine complaining to Maxis there was no technological progression. You've successfully imagined my life

nopantsjack posted:

A running theme of UK politics is politicians not knowing anything about anything.

Be fair. He knew how many houses he owns (3).

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:43

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

dispatch_async posted:

https://twitter.com/VictoriaLIVE/status/872014707640676352

That's a funny interview. Though I'll be honest & say I'm not sure that exact knowledge of figures is actually the most important part of an MPs job. It makes for a funny gotcha moment but the more important part isn't that Andrew Mitchell doesn't know how many houses the government built last year, the important part is that the government built so few houses last year.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:45

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

Oberleutnant posted:

Theresa May is promising to make the tough choices necessary so that I, a poor person, will either starve to death, die lying on a trolley in the corridor of an A&E, or be raped and murdered in my own home. I've got to respect her for telling it like it is tbh, and it's clear that we're not living within our means, and that consequently I must suffer The Hellfucking.
Labour can promise a fair wage, stronger worker protections, and affordable housing all they want, but it's just pandering and I can see right through it. Where is this money going to come from? A loving magic money tree?
Grow up and vote for the tough adult choices. Vote Tory.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyGND49CBYk

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:51

Bacon Terrorist: May 7, 2010; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Can't see how the Tories can lose with this kind of PR on their side:

https://youtu.be/4IsbT--C3Io

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:52

spectralent: Oct 1, 2014; Me and the boys poppin' down to the shops

forkboy84 posted:

That's a funny interview. Though I'll be honest & say I'm not sure that exact knowledge of figures is actually the most important part of an MPs job. It makes for a funny gotcha moment but the more important part isn't that Andrew Mitchell doesn't know how many houses the government built last year, the important part is that the government built so few houses last year.

I think the exact figures are relatively meaningless but it's clear he doesn't know about 7000 homes have been built for about a million people because he doesn't care and saying they're conscious of housing needs is a nonsense soundbite that's in conflict with reality. You know rough details about stuff you care about.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:54

ultrabindu: Jan 28, 2009

https://twitter.com/britainelects/status/872054232286887937

http://britainelects.com/nowcast/

quote:

Our nowcast is not a picture of what will happen on polling day but rather a snapshot as to how the nation would vote if the election were held today.
Our model, combining historical data as well as national and regional polling, estimates the probability a party has at holding onto each seat. This forecast is theoretical and does not consider targeting. Regional variation and parliamentary by-election results are, however, accounted for.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:56

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

spectralent posted:

I think the exact figures are relatively meaningless but it's clear he doesn't know about 7000 homes have been built for about a million people because he doesn't care and saying they're conscious of housing needs is a nonsense soundbite that's in conflict with reality. You know rough details about stuff you care about.

Yeah, & if that's the angle that gets pushed then fair enough. But what I'm seeing amounts to "looks like it's not just Diane Abbott who doesn't know her figures" on social media & it's lame. The numbers can just end up a distraction from the actual policies sometimes with how our media goes.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:57

Junior G-man: Sep 15, 2004; Wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma

Am I the only one who's been fully enjoying John Crace's political sketches this election season?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/jun/05/theresa-may-london-brexit-jeremy-corbyn-donald-trump-sadiq-khan

quote:

Maybot malfunctions under pressure over disappearing police

The Supreme Leader had never been more clear about anything. The country was talking about one thing and one thing only. Brexit. So she had come to the same library in the Royal United Services Institute in Whitehall where she had launched her leadership campaign almost a year earlier, to talk about Brexit. That�s what the public was demanding and that�s what the public would get.

There were a few puzzled faces in the audience. They were under the impression that what most people had been talking about over the past couple of days was Saturday night�s terrorist attack in London and they had reasonably assumed that the Supreme Leader might have something to say about it. Apparently not. �More than ever, the country needs strong and stable leadership,� she said. And that was why she was calling on everyone to strengthen her hand so her leadership could be even stronger and more stable. The Maybot was back up and running.

Mistaking the groans of resignation and despair in the room for confirmation that her message of reassurance was getting through, the Supreme Leader went on to deliver much the same non-speech she had repeatedly given over the previous seven weeks. The same sentences that never quite made sense even on their own. Let alone when they were connected to all the others.

She alone had a Brexit plan. A plan she couldn�t fully disclose, other than to say no deal was better than a bad deal. Jeremy Corbyn didn�t have a plan because his plan was different to hers. �We will show leadership, because that is what leaders do,� the Maybot concluded, her algorithms no longer fully operational. �There is no time for learning on the job.� This was the closest she came to saying anything heartfelt. She�d been trying and failing to learn on the job for 12 months.

Only towards the end of her speech did the Supreme Leader make any proper mention of the London attacks. Enough was enough. She had done everything she possibly could to help the police in her six years as home secretary and it was just a pity they weren�t a bit more grateful.

Under her strong and stable leadership, Britain had never been more safe. Even if it didn�t feel that way. No one cared more about the country�s security than she did. She just had her own idiosyncratic way of showing it. Instead of focusing on the terror plots that had succeeded, why couldn�t everyone just concentrate a bit more on the ones that had been thwarted? �I have the vision,� the Maybot said. The blurred vision of an artificial intelligence without the intelligence.

Much to her surprise, none of the questions that followed her speech were about Brexit. They were all about terrorism and security. The Supreme Leader was patience personified as as she failed to answer any of them. Had she been wrong to cut police numbers?

Not at all. The relentless focus on numbers was missing the point. What really mattered was that she had given the police extra superpowers. Some were being trained to have x-ray vision. Some were learning to fly with magic capes. Some could literally bi-locate and be in two places at the same time. Some had been equipped with little suckers on their feet that allowed them to walk up the side of buildings. Some had been given special weapons that fired spiders� webs. Some had also been given invisibility cloaks, which was why it was easy to imagine there were 20,000 fewer of them.

An engineer hastily tried to update the Maybot, but only succeeded in making things worse as her faculties became ever more unreliable. Her voice recognition software couldn�t recognise the words �Donald Trump� when she was twice asked if the US president had been wrong to criticise Sadiq Khan for doing a bad job. �The London mayor is doing a very good job,� she monotoned. But what about Donald Trump? �The London mayor is doing a good job.�

�What would Donald Trump have to say for you to disagree with him?� one journalist finally asked. The Supreme Leader looked confused. Who was this Donald Trump? �The London mayor is doing a very good job,� she said yet again. So would someone � the US president, say � who criticised Khan be wrong? �I suppose so,� she muttered through gritted teeth. The special relationship had never appeared so pathetically and abjectly one-sided. But it was what now passed for strong and stable leadership.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:59

Raeg: Jul 7, 2008; The top 1% of ducks have control of 99.9% of the bread.

ultrabindu posted:

https://twitter.com/britainelects/status/872054232286887937

http://britainelects.com/nowcast/

Lib Dem Fight Back!

# ? Jun 6, 2017 12:59

ElNarez: Nov 4, 2009

hey guess what

https://twitter.com/JonathanPlaid/status/871976807771381760

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:00

Gyro Zeppeli: Jul 19, 2012; sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

ElNarez posted:

hey guess what

https://twitter.com/JonathanPlaid/status/871976807771381760

Blairites are too dumb to loving live, Jesus Christ.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:02

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

When the inevitable nuclear war breaks with North Korea one of their first acts will presumably be firing a missile directly at Portsmouth Naval Base.
In the split microsecond between being blinded by the initial flash of light, and when the heat wave annihilates my body along with the rest of the city, I need to know that Prime Minister Theresa May will PUSH THE loving BUTTON.
I won't be able to die happily without that being the final conscious thought running through my mind just at the moment I'm vapourised. I need to know that everybody else is going down with me.

Vote Conservative.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:02

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

ElNarez posted:

hey guess what

https://twitter.com/JonathanPlaid/status/871976807771381760

I'm astonished they're not starting on Wednesday.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:04

GEORGE W BUSHI: Jul 1, 2012

ultrabindu posted:

https://twitter.com/britainelects/status/872054232286887937

http://britainelects.com/nowcast/

what regional polling are they looking at to get Tory gains in Wales?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:04

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

ElNarez posted:

hey guess what

https://twitter.com/JonathanPlaid/status/871976807771381760

Hahahahaha

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:04

Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

Junior G-man posted:

Am I the only one who's been fully enjoying John Crace's political sketches this election season?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2017/jun/05/theresa-may-london-brexit-jeremy-corbyn-donald-trump-sadiq-khan

I prefered Simon Hoggart's political sketches, those were actually looking at the crazy poo poo that goes on inside parliament and the funny stuff was real life absurdities, Crace just seems to make too many "jokes" to the extent that its no longer informative.

ultrabindu posted:

https://twitter.com/britainelects/status/872054232286887937

http://britainelects.com/nowcast/

Much as I want to be optimistic this is pretty much what I'm anticipating, another election where the whole of England as far as the eye can see votes to get hosed.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:05

Pissflaps: Oct 20, 2002; by VideoGames

ElNarez posted:

hey guess what

https://twitter.com/JonathanPlaid/status/871976807771381760

If he doesn't stand down after losing the election then this is what I'd expect to happen.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:06

Junior G-man: Sep 15, 2004; Wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma

ElNarez posted:

hey guess what

https://twitter.com/JonathanPlaid/status/871976807771381760

Dear gently caress.

Anyone want to put money on who's gonna be the figurehead this time? Will it finally Ol' Chuk's turn to fall on his sword?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:07

Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

Baron Corbyn posted:

what regional polling are they looking at to get Tory gains in Wales?

The welsh voted for Brexit, it wouldn't be crazy.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:08

Strom Cuzewon: Jul 1, 2010

Pissflaps posted:

If he doesn't stand down after losing the election then this is what I'd expect to happen.

They should probably wait until he's lost though, rather than doing it the instant the polls close.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:09

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

ultrabindu posted:

https://twitter.com/britainelects/status/872054232286887937

http://britainelects.com/nowcast/

I keep seeing predictions of Moray going Tory. It's believable but at the same time seems to ignore the personal popularity of Angus Robertson, who has been MP since 2001.

ElNarez posted:

hey guess what

https://twitter.com/JonathanPlaid/status/871976807771381760

So this is 100% believable, but pardon me if I think that reports of chaos at Labour helps the Plaid Cymru MP keep his job so do we have a link to this in the FT? Because I can't find it on their website.

Junior G-man posted:

Dear gently caress.

Anyone want to put money on who's gonna be the figurehead this time? Will it finally Ol' Chuk's turn to fall on his sword?

Chat a couple months back was Yvette Cooper still fancies it.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:09

sassassin: Apr 3, 2010; by Azathoth

Baron Corbyn posted:

what regional polling are they looking at to get Tory gains in Wales?

They're driving around past all the farms plastered in conservatives signs (and the one with its ukip flags waving).

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:10

Pissflaps: Oct 20, 2002; by VideoGames

Strom Cuzewon posted:

They should probably wait until he's lost though, rather than doing it the instant the polls close.

I suspect there won't be a press conference at 10:01 pm.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:11

GEORGE W BUSHI: Jul 1, 2012

nopantsjack posted:

The welsh voted for Brexit, it wouldn't be crazy.

yeah, but all the recent polling has Labour up 10 points in Wales. I wonder if they're using polling breakdowns that bundle us up with the Midlands.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:11

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

ElNarez posted:

hey guess what

https://twitter.com/JonathanPlaid/status/871976807771381760

veritable boy scouts they are. prepared for any eventuality

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:11

Gyro Zeppeli: Jul 19, 2012; sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Junior G-man posted:

Dear gently caress.

Anyone want to put money on who's gonna be the figurehead this time? Will it finally Ol' Chuk's turn to fall on his sword?

Yvette Cooper runs a campaign that makes Hillary Clinton look like Charles Foster Kane then is locked in a giant wicker Blair.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:13

GEORGE W BUSHI: Jul 1, 2012

Strom Cuzewon posted:

They should probably wait until he's lost though, rather than doing it the instant the polls close.

I don't think the 10:01pm thing is literal rather than shorthand for saying that there'll be a challenge after the election is dealt with.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:13

Junior G-man: Sep 15, 2004; Wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma

Baron Corbyn posted:

I don't think the 10:01pm thing is literal rather than shorthand for saying that there'll be a challenge after the election is dealt with.

With that lot, I'd honestly not be surprised at 10:05.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:15

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

Junior G-man posted:

With that lot, I'd honestly not be surprised at 10:05.

10:05am on polling day would be in character.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:18

jBrereton: May 30, 2013; Grimey Drawer

ElNarez posted:

hey guess what

https://twitter.com/JonathanPlaid/status/871976807771381760

What's the price of a coalition of chaos tweet nowadays?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:20

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

I dunno but my coalition of chaos t shirt is being printed so I've got something to look forward to one way or the other.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:22

Jippa: Feb 13, 2009

https://twitter.com/Cassetteboy/status/872057140927758339

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:25

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

https://twitter.com/PickardJE/status/872066153551720448

What do ya know, the Plaid MP wasn't being totally honest about Labour!

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:25

dispatch_async: Nov 28, 2014; Imagine having the time to have played through 20 generations of one family in The Sims 2. Imagine making the original two members of that family Neil Buchanan and Cat Deeley. Imagine complaining to Maxis there was no technological progression. You've successfully imagined my life

forkboy84 posted:

So this is 100% believable, but pardon me if I think that reports of chaos at Labour helps the Plaid Cymru MP keep his job so do we have a link to this in the FT? Because I can't find it on their website.

Sounds like the Plaid guy was exaggerating:

https://twitter.com/PickardJE/status/872066153551720448

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:25

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 21:07

Gort: Aug 18, 2003; Good day what ho cup of tea

Isn't that statement basically meaningless? Like, no poo poo if a leader's party loses a lot of seats they might see a leadership challenge.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 13:29

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

«‹›695 »