UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

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What is the best flav... you all know what this question is: This poll is closed.
Labour	907	49.92%
Theresa May Team (Conservative)	48	2.64%
Liberal Democrats	31	1.71%
UKIP	13	0.72%
Plaid Cymru	25	1.38%
Green	22	1.21%
Scottish Socialist Party	12	0.66%
Scottish Conservative Party	1	0.06%
Scottish National Party	59	3.25%
Some Kind of Irish Unionist	4	0.22%
Alliance / Irish Nonsectarian	3	0.17%
Some Kind of Irish Nationalist	36	1.98%
Misc. Far Left Trots	35	1.93%
Misc. Far Right Fash	8	0.44%
Monster Raving Loony	49	2.70%
Space Navies Party	39	2.15%
Independent / Single Issue	2	0.11%
Can't Vote	188	10.35%
Won't Vote	8	0.44%
Spoiled Ballot	15	0.83%
Pissflaps	312	17.17%
Total:	1817 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

dispatch_async: Nov 28, 2014; Imagine having the time to have played through 20 generations of one family in The Sims 2. Imagine making the original two members of that family Neil Buchanan and Cat Deeley. Imagine complaining to Maxis there was no technological progression. You've successfully imagined my life

Seaside Loafer posted:

Anyone got a link for that supposedly awesome new labour party political broadcast yet? I'm out of country with only an iPad and can't iPlayer it.

The NHS one from yesterday?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpSVVgZyUBs

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:17

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# ? May 16, 2024 19:03

Firos: Apr 30, 2007; Staying abreast of the latest developments in jam communism

An ad from a Conservative Future.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:19

Lord of the Llamas: Jul 9, 2002; EULER'VE TO SEE IT VENN SOMEONE CALLS IT THE WRONG THING AND PROVOKES MY WRATH

https://twitter.com/SamCoatesTimes/status/872125306152394752

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:19

mehall: Aug 27, 2010

jBrereton posted:

Sounds like a very nuanced kind of xenophobia.

Yeah, he hates the un-unionised.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:19

jBrereton: May 30, 2013; Grimey Drawer

mehall posted:

Yeah, he hates the un-unionised.

Yeah I'm sure it's John Mann's problem with foreigners too, right?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:21

Tesseraction: Apr 5, 2009

jBrereton posted:

Yeah I'm sure it's John Mann's problem with foreigners too, right?

"The only problem with immigrants is they are having their rights stamped on."

jBrereton, in extremely woke voice: "This is just like Jim Crow."

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:25

haakman: May 5, 2011

I feel really bad for the youngsters. Voting Labour with a genuine platform of hope, regardless of the efficacy of Labour''s policies only to see dreams crushed at election day. The generational gap in the UK is staggering.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:27

Zephro: Nov 23, 2000; I suppose I could part with one and still be feared...

The young will not vote

The Theresa May Party

Will win. Despair reigns

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:29

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

The DPRK posted:

Do we have a place for facebookfriends.txt? Got some loving horrendous passages to add including this gem:

Number three is what you want methinks.

haakman posted:

I feel really bad for the youngsters. Voting Labour with a genuine platform of hope, regardless of the efficacy of Labour''s policies only to see dreams crushed at election day. The generational gap in the UK is staggering.

Y'all Anglos have the worst olds; here in the Nordics they at least seem decently split between left/right.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:29

Raeg: Jul 7, 2008; The top 1% of ducks have control of 99.9% of the bread.

Zephro posted:

The young will not vote

The Theresa May Party

Will win. Despair reigns

Game Over. Return of May Party.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:33

haakman: May 5, 2011

My meltdown on Friday will be enough to engorge that smug prick on Question Time from York who only had two teeth.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:35

Soggy Chips: Sep 26, 2006; Fear is the mind killer

Gort posted:

Just on a whim, I worked out what numbers of seats the parties would be on if they got the same vote share as Yougov is suggesting they might, and we had proportional representation:

Con: 273
Lab: 247
LD: 58
UKIP: 26
SNP: 26
Green: 13

Can you loving imagine living in that world?

Being a dual national who has only recently come back to the UK I find it really odd that you guys don't have proportional votes.
In NZ you get two votes, one for the electoral seat and one for a party vote. So you can be tactical with your electoral vote and vote for the party you actually want in.

I'm pretty sure the electorate I'm in is a no-contest so theres no point in me voting.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:35

deletebeepbeepbeep: Nov 12, 2008

Theresa May is cool and good said no-one.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:36

Seaside Loafer: Feb 7, 2012; Waiting for a train, I needed a shit. You won't bee-lieve what happened next

dispatch_async posted:

The NHS one from yesterday?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpSVVgZyUBs

Not sure, directed by ken loach apparently, was that it?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:37

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

mehall posted:

Yeah, he hates the un-unionised.

That's a double negative. He hates the ionised.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:39

Miftan: Mar 31, 2012; Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

Guavanaut posted:

That's a double negative. He hates the ionised.

I thought the greens were the ones who hated science?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:40

Julio Cruz: May 19, 2006

Guavanaut posted:

That's a double negative. He hates the ionised.

They're too reactionary for him.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:42

Zephro: Nov 23, 2000; I suppose I could part with one and still be feared...

This'll cheer you all up before the inevitable Tory victory:

http://www.economist.com/blogs/graphicdetail/2017/06/daily-chart?fsrc=scn/tw/te/bl/ed/

quote:

OF LIFE�s two certainties, death cannot be dodged even by the well-to-do. Taxes are another matter. Quantifying quite how much they manage to keep from the taxman, however, has always been tricky. One common approach governments take is to conduct randomised audits of tax returns. This methodology can give regulators a rough sense of overall tax revenues lost. But it is far from ideal. For instance, studies based on randomised tax audits are usually both too small and too crude to reflect accurately the financial shenanigans of the most egregious tax-dodgers: the super-rich.

A new study by Annette Alstads�ter, Niels Johannesen and Gabriel Zucman, three economists, tackles this problem by investigating two recent financial-data hoards: the �Swiss leaks�, a record of bank accounts held at HSBC in Switzerland; and the �Panama papers�, files that document the use of offshore accounts and shell companies by clients of Mossack Fonseca, a law firm in Panama. By matching the leaked information with wealth data from Denmark, Norway and Sweden, the authors are able to construct the most detailed estimate to date of the extent of tax evasion.

Their research leads to two conclusions. First, tax evasion is extremely concentrated. The average Scandinavian household paid around 3% too little in taxes in 2006; the richest 1% of households, with net assets of at least $2m, underpaid by around 10%. The truly rich, though, behave truly differently. The top 0.01% of households, with net assets of over $40m, short-changed the taxman by a whopping 30%.

Second, the numbers imply that previous estimates of wealth inequality, often based on tax data, have understated the problem. And the Scandinavian statistics may provide a conservative estimate of worldwide tax-dodging: only around 2% of Scandinavian household wealth is held in offshore accounts, compared with the global average of 4%.

Globalisation has disproportionately benefited the rich in part by rewarding capital more handsomely than labour. But globalisation has also made it easier for the well-heeled to hide their wealth. In that sense, maybe the data should cause even more surprise: despite the best efforts of a lucrative global tax-evasion industry, Scandinavia�s ultra-rich are paying 70% of their taxes.

edit: wow that's a big chart

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:42

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

So I made a complaint about the Corbyn - Bin Laden graphic on BBC that we were complaining about a few pages back and I got a reply! (It's exactly the kind of poo poo you'd expect)

quote:

Dear ThomasPaine

Thanks for contacting us regarding 'Daily Politics' broadcast on the 5 June.

In the aftermath of the recent attacks in Manchester and London, security and the government�s response to the threat of terrorism is clearly an issue which is of importance to our audience. This has also become a significant focus of the general election campaign.

This item was examining the track records of both Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn on dealing with terrorism. Both leaders have come under scrutiny on this issue and the graphic which accompanied the introduction to this piece reflected the criticisms they have received. We looked at cuts to police numbers and the removal of control orders, which occurred while Mrs May was Home Secretary, for example. We also looked at questions that have been raised over Mr Corbyn�s political past, including his voting record on issues related to terrorism.

In this context, we used an image of Osama Bin Laden to illustrate al-Qaeda, when talking about Mr Corbyn voting against putting the group on a government list of proscribed terrorist organisations in 2001. We used a number of images in the background for both Mrs May and Mr Corbyn. It was clear why the image of Bin Laden was used, and this was definitely not indicative of any bias against Mr Corbyn.

Thanks again for contacting us.

Kind Regards

BBC Complaints Team
https://www.bbc.co.uk/complaints

NB This is sent from an outgoing account only which is not monitored. You cannot reply to this email address but if necessary please contact us via our webform quoting any case number we provided.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:43

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

I think I'm going to make a jam this weekend based on whichever party does best in the election. So -

Labour - strawberry, obvs :ussr:

Tories - blueberry
Lib Dems - lemon curd I guess?
SNP - well, this one's obvious

Thank gently caress UKIP are cratering because I don't even know what you'd use to make purple jam. Grapes I guess. Grapes of wrath.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:44

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Miftan posted:

I thought the greens were the ones who hated science?

He doesn't hate the science, he just hates that they charge.

Julio Cruz posted:

They're too reactionary for him.

feedmegin posted:

SNP - well, this one's obvious

Thistles and whisky?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:46

Not Operator: Jan 1, 2009; Not A doctor, THE Doctor!

feedmegin posted:

I think I'm going to make a jam this weekend based on whichever party does best in the election. So -

Labour - strawberry, obvs
Tories - blueberry
Lib Dems - lemon curd I guess?
SNP - well, this one's obvious

Thank gently caress UKIP are cratering because I don't even know what you'd use to make purple jam. Grapes I guess. Grapes of wrath.

I appreciate you're probably looking for serious answers, but have you considered if the Tories win just making GBS threads in a jar?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:47

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Guavanaut posted:

Thistles and whisky?

Marmalade with a dash of Laphroaig might be interesting actually.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:48

Zephro: Nov 23, 2000; I suppose I could part with one and still be feared...

feedmegin posted:

Thank gently caress UKIP are cratering because I don't even know what you'd use to make purple jam. Grapes I guess. Grapes of wrath.

Blackcurrant?

the best jam

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:48

Miftan: Mar 31, 2012; Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

feedmegin posted:

I think I'm going to make a jam this weekend based on whichever party does best in the election. So -

Labour - strawberry, obvs
Tories - blueberry
Lib Dems - lemon curd I guess?
SNP - well, this one's obvious

Thank gently caress UKIP are cratering because I don't even know what you'd use to make purple jam. Grapes I guess. Grapes of wrath.

Is the SNP one just straight up whisky?
e:fb

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:49

Acaila: Jan 2, 2011

You should do apple and blackberry if Labour win, since that's Corbyn's signature jam. Also it sounds amazing!

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:52

Rincewinds: Jul 30, 2014; MEAT IS MEAT

Zephro posted:

The young will not vote

The Theresa May Party

Will win. Despair reigns

Made June The End Of Hope.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:53

Private Speech: Mar 30, 2011; I HAVE EVEN MORE WORTHLESS BEANIE BABIES IN MY COLLECTION THAN I HAVE WORTHLESS POSTS IN THE BEANIE BABY THREAD YET I STILL HAVE THE TEMERITY TO CRITICIZE OTHERS' COLLECTIONS

IF YOU SEE ME TALKING ABOUT BEANIE BABIES, PLEASE TELL ME TO

EAT. SHIT.

Deceitful Penguin posted:

Number three is what you want methinks.
Y'all Anglos have the worst olds; here in the Nordics they at least seem decently split between left/right.

NZ and Aussies(?) were just about the only parts of the empire that managed to escape the dreaded FPTP.

Seriously the Wikipedia map for FPTP is pretty much British Empire .jpg

e: you might think I'm joking, but:

Private Speech fucked around with this message at 18:08 on Jun 6, 2017

# ? Jun 6, 2017 17:59

spectralent: Oct 1, 2014; Me and the boys poppin' down to the shops

Gort posted:

All big businesses already tax evade as much as they can. The answer to that is not to throw your hands up and say, "Well, guess taxing rich people is too hard, cut all public services", the answer is to properly fund the agencies that crack down on tax evasion and legislate to close tax loopholes and prevent offshoring.

quote:

The principle of taxing the rich to pay for things is great in principle, it doesn't work though, the rich will compensate themselves and do so by taking more off of the poor, history teaches us that one.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 18:04

UrbicaMortis: Feb 16, 2012; Hmm, how shall I post today?

Oberleutnant posted:

When the inevitable nuclear war breaks with North Korea one of their first acts will presumably be firing a missile directly at Portsmouth Naval Base.
In the split microsecond between being blinded by the initial flash of light, and when the heat wave annihilates my body along with the rest of the city, I need to know that Prime Minister Theresa May will PUSH THE loving BUTTON.
I won't be able to die happily without that being the final conscious thought running through my mind just at the moment I'm vapourised. I need to know that everybody else is going down with me.

Vote Conservative.

To be honest I would probably feel this way if I had to live in Portsmouth.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 18:04

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

UrbicaMortis posted:

To be honest I would probably feel this way if I had to live in Portsmouth.

Fight me

# ? Jun 6, 2017 18:06

MrL_JaKiri: Sep 23, 2003; A bracing glass of carrot juice!

The DPRK posted:

Since everyone seems to be enjoying these (I use the word loosely):

The early nineties: famous for having recent, or current, Labour rule.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 18:07

dispatch_async: Nov 28, 2014; Imagine having the time to have played through 20 generations of one family in The Sims 2. Imagine making the original two members of that family Neil Buchanan and Cat Deeley. Imagine complaining to Maxis there was no technological progression. You've successfully imagined my life

https://twitter.com/OpiniumResearch/status/872117998483537925

# ? Jun 6, 2017 18:10

Tevery Best: Oct 11, 2013; Hewlo Furriend

Gort posted:

Just on a whim, I worked out what numbers of seats the parties would be on if they got the same vote share as Yougov is suggesting they might, and we had proportional representation:

Con: 273
Lab: 247
LD: 58
UKIP: 26
SNP: 26
Green: 13

Can you loving imagine living in that world?

Did you just run simple division according to the percentages? Because - as I am sure you know - PR is a little more complex than that. In most systems, you'd expect at least the Greens to not get in because of a cutoff (to prevent having a billion of what we here call "sofa parties" in the parliament) and those seats getting redistributed to the big winners. Most methods would give the lion's share to the Conservatives, a little less to Labour and the smallest bunch to Lib Democrats.

learnincurve posted:

Dennis Skinner just told everyone that the problem with Eastern Europeans and displaced people coming over here these days is that they are not joining unions, so they can't be helped by them to get fair treatment and wages, and that it's people like (Sports directs) Mike Ashley's fault that there is antagonism.

He's the hero we need but do not deserve.

They do in Ireland, so that might not be a problem on their end.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 18:10

His Divine Shadow: Aug 7, 2000; I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.

Miftan posted:

But if you do that they'll just leave and you'll have nothing as opposed to the little you get now. Clearly this'll never work.

The free movement of capital needs to stop, forever. Capital Controls need to become the norm again.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 18:13

TheRat: Aug 30, 2006

https://twitter.com/fbunational/status/872047751177089024?s=09

# ? Jun 6, 2017 18:17

Miftan: Mar 31, 2012; Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

Private Speech posted:

NZ and Aussies(?) were just about the only parts of the empire that managed to escape the dreaded FPTP.

Seriously the Wikipedia map for FPTP is pretty much British Empire .jpg

e: you might think I'm joking, but:

Which one is that little dot above Egypt? Does Syria have FPTP?

# ? Jun 6, 2017 18:19

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Miftan posted:

Which one is that little dot above Egypt? Does Syria have FPTP?

It looks like Lebanon.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 18:19

mehall: Aug 27, 2010

Just found out Corbyn is visiting Glasgow again tomorrow.
He's got a speech lined up for Buchanan St at 8am. Unfortunately, I got asked yetserday to work 8am-1615 this week instead of the preplanned 845-1700, so I won't get a chance to hear even a bit of it.

However, Glasgows hardly lining up for Labour right now. Maybe this is the push it needs to put a couple Labour candidates into Westminster.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 18:24

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# ? May 16, 2024 19:03

UrbicaMortis: Feb 16, 2012; Hmm, how shall I post today?

Oberleutnant posted:

Fight me

To be fair, Portsmouth when I've visited has been alright but I have a friend who lives in Gosport next to an asylum internment centre, which kind of shades my opinion of the area.

# ? Jun 6, 2017 18:27

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT General Elextravaganza 2017: Lord Buckethead would have won

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