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KataraniSword
Apr 22, 2008

but at least I don't have
a MLP or MSPA avatar.
I am my own man.

Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

If I can't decide what's allowed in my own thread then I will face GodArceus and walk backwards into hellhell (which is real (Uranium has a pokemon that is literally from hell)).

It has two hells. Normal hell and also Ant hell.

This game is doublehell.

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Orange Fluffy Sheep
Jul 26, 2008

Bad EXP received

For this update, the song is either the ranger theme or the nuclear event theme. Pick one at random. You're usually right.


Anyway the rangers are saying that someone will attack the power plant soon. This is actually supposed to be surprising because it means someone is actually attacking the power plants, but this is a video game and there must be a person we can fight causing bad things.


One of the Tsukinami residents has an inexplicable accent and rabbles, and there's rabbling until Hinata and Naruto or whatever make 'em hush.


They are completely reasonable autority figures in that ninjutsu cannot fight radioactive fallout.


The ranger cites an anonymous tip as the source. Imagine if they got pranked.


I dunno maybe the gods decided that the world's not been contaminated enough recently? Also they're snake things and one of them is horribly weak to rocks.


Rangers and ninjas, teaming up to be... useless, and making Good Human Hokage Dick Solomon do all the work.


Of course we have to be present at events, but you can refuse to go buy things and arrange boxes. Power Plant Omicrom is a lot like Epsilon in that there's no PC and you have one chance to go there.


Tell this lady yes to make the game's plot suddenly hit again in force. For a while you're being shuttled to areas you can't leave with no ability to change your guys out or restock on items as you fight countless Nuclear Pokemon.


Kellyn, Theo, and the Jortsman are here too, because we need all the important NPCs for an event.


Instead of their usual style of wild rampages, these Nuclear pokemon seem to be following orders?! :tinfoil:


I hope Theo gets cancer and dies.


This guy will stand here and bemoan how he's about to be murdered by this Tanscure until you talk to it, the Tanscure.


This starts a double battle that has no Tanscure.


Fuzzybutt is finally ready to play! Fafninter has a ludicrous 590 BST and Fur Coat to shore up its lower defense because that's fair. Lacking a good Ice move is no big deal when Dragon Claw can handle most of its problems.


Ice Shard is another flavor of priority move, which works great with Fuzzybutt's high attack stat.


There's a new thing lurking around in the grass. Xenomite the second naturally nuclear Pokemon, and of the two we've seen it's the one more likely to face-gently caress you.


Hagoop, Haagross's unevolved form, is here as well, so why not?


Even these two are no match for two Tanscure. Everybody getting worfed to show how cool your character is here.


Did I say two Tanscure? My bad, one of them was a wrestler in disguise.

Yellboy Jr. is now a full Paraboom, ready to spam Hyper Voice in Duke Nukem's (yellboy sr.) stead. Nuclear resists itself, so I need a new thing to fling easy spread moves. Paraboom's Soundboost ability gives Hyper Voice yet another 50%. A Choice Scarf on top makes it ready to holler.


You can press A to chat with this Gyarados's butt as much as you want.


You actually talk to Theo to fight it.




Nuclear moves have really low BP all around. Kinda funny then that they also made a thing that uses Hyper Voice.


Lightning flashes show that the nurse says this despite it ostensibly being narration.


Nothing really to do in Omicrom besides getting a Xenomite, and even then they're available later, just at much more annoying encounter rates, so let's wrap this up.


Immediately, the nuclear Pokemon relent.


And then some sort of beam shoots through the roof and the windows inside start glowing!


And then the bottom half of NucEvent.png that looks like an explosion is applied!


Two figures emerge from the smoke...


Well... uh... we have a bad guy now!


Kellyn tries to do things but we're dealing with an antagonist who has waited until the end of the game to actually appear so they've gotta establish their street cred.


CURIE is the human in armor trying way too hard to look sinister despite having big neon-green ears. Urayne is the Pokemon from the title screen trying way too hard to look sinister despite having Jetsons rings for legs.




Despite the name it's extremely similar to Super Fang. Or maybe that generic female ranger got her lifespan reduced by half, which must suck.


CURIE is pretty generically Chaotic Evil, does what they want and makes people suffer for suffering's sake. CURIE speaks in green, so their dialogue usually doesn't have a name tag.


Unlike Ranger here, who is telling us the solution to the mystery of Nuclear Pokemon seemingly being coordinated.


Gordon and Jimm arrived at teh alien scene where a bad guy from the game said "I have take the isotope and it will cause meltdown!"
"NO, NOT ALL OF DALLAS!" Which swas target of where they were and it was nice place and my friend lives there.
"IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO MY DEMANS"
"TOO LATE" and the isotope hit quarterlife and teh room was slowly become vaporize


I kinda like how Dick Solomon is just chillin', not doing anything. I guess he knows Rocket Man could two-shot the thing.


Our villain is motivated by a desire to chomp on some radioactive metal.


CURIE is just so comically malicious that it's gonna be real funny when their tragic backstory is revealed.

Oh uh oops spoilers there's a tragic backstory involved later.




Oh snap, that's almost a real move! Look out Kellyn, Urayne is going to punch you into dust!


But about six hours from the last second, Cameron appears!?!?!?


You know, that guy who's Theo's dead dad, turns out he's not very dead at all!


It's normal, fire, water, grass...


The game refers to Urayne as a Legendary Pokemon, which it is in terms of its story importance and power level, but considering this is like the first time anyone's seen it, I'm not exactly sure it has legends about it yet.


CURIE does obvious evil villain thing #281.


Theo shields his dad. At no point does anyone but Cameron use a Pokemon.


No really CURIE is sort of cartoonishly evil for no good reason. The guy who wanted to use a genocide machine to kill billions of people was less evil than this.


Apparently Cameron got hit by something? Anyway more gloating about finding that tasty tasty uranium and


they zoop on out of here.


Dick Solomon finally reacts to something by facing right!


Cameron's dragon is just relaxing there so most of the peeps take that.


We get to be critical condition dad buddies! :buddy:


Oh great let's fly to exposition and-


no it's not really funny to point it out now




thank you

Anyway, besides being a high-power physical flying move with the same 1st-turn-hide as Dig and Dive, Fly is used to instantly travel from any outdoor space to any town, landing at the Pokemon center. With a place as sprawling as Tandor, loving finally.


Apparently in Tandor, all civic functions are handled by the rangers, including medical care.


This guy has the clearest and least stupid dialogue in the update.


In the ICU, Cameron looks dead but let's ignore that.


Cameron had a bunch of documents including a letter of exposition.


my name is cameron stormbringer and i can use all swords and i am immune to fire and acid


Apparently he's the guy who busted Larkspur.


Living very far away from the scene or from the people he was investigating, Cameron spent ten years as a plain old electrician.


my name is theo stormbringer and i get all spells and guns


Despite this being text on a black screen some of these have to scroll one new line in. It made a little sense for the dramatic reveal of his true surname (which is a completely stupid detail that adds nothing) but for the rest I'm citing technical incompetency.

At text on a black screen.


BURNED PAPER?!?!?


Oh apparently it wasn't a joke, he really did finally learn the truth from Dick Solomon handing him burned paper.


I want to think these are on individual flash cards, and the text having to scroll slightly is him writing on the back.


I think they came up with the name and spent seven weeks puzzling out the acronym later.


Even though CURIE was vocalizing commands like normal earlier, but let's ignore that part.


Urayne's atomic punch is atomic because it can punch individual atoms!!!

No really Urayne's signature move is Atomic Punch


Nucleon's hidden ability is also Geiger Sense, so I guess if I got one of those Duke Nukem would tell me where uranium is so it could munch it?

Also no it wasn't the fuel, it was totally Dick Solomon pressing a button for no reason.


I'd think the big green beam of light would be easier to spot.


So undercover that the game forgot to have a story for a dozen updates.


Anyway this is clearly our next destination but because this is Uranium we have to go through a lot of rigamarole to actually do it.






Ice cold, jortsman, ice cold.


I guess when talking for hours and standing around, it's really easy to plant a tracking device.


So now we have two leads on where CURIE is hiding!


But can Ranger Good Human Hokage Dick Solomon defeat this nefarious foe!?

I mean clearly he can because he has a backhoe dragon, but will he actually do something this time!?

XavierGenisi
Nov 7, 2009

:dukedog:

Welcome to the endgame, folks. It's all downhill from here.

Funky Valentine
Feb 26, 2014

Dojyaa~an

lol the box legendary is called Urine.

Begemot
Oct 14, 2012

The One True Oden

You can't quote this unparalleled classic of modern literature and not link it!

Kheldarn
Feb 17, 2011



Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

But can Ranger Good Human Hokage Dick Solomon defeat this nefarious foe!?

I mean clearly he can because he has a backhoe dragon, but will he actually do something this time!?

Eh. Doing nothing has worked out for him so far. Why change?

Rabbi Raccoon
Mar 31, 2009

I stabbed you dude!
I heard Cameron Stormbringer punched a tornado so hard it stopped

Prism
Dec 22, 2007

yospos

Rabbi Raccoon posted:

I heard Cameron Stormbringer punched a tornado so hard it stopped

That's ridiculous. You can't punch a tornado.

No, what he actually did was blow on it to cancel out the wind.

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Cameron Stormbringer killed Wolfman Jack with a trident

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009


Prism posted:

That's ridiculous. You can't punch a tornado.

Not with that attitude

Rabbi Raccoon
Mar 31, 2009

I stabbed you dude!
Sounds like someone tried and got upstaged by Cameron Stormbringer. Jealous, much?

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

Prism posted:

That's ridiculous. You can't punch a tornado.

No, what he actually did was blow on it to cancel out the wind.

Technically, you need to cancel the rotation with two opposing air currents.

Fortunately this game sucks and blows at the same time.

BlazeEmblem
Jun 8, 2013

Uh oh. Do I use Ariadne thread or Goho-M?

I was expecting this legendary on the title screen to be some big monster, based on the head and shoulderpads that it had. Then I saw that the head and shoulderpads were the only thing interesting about it. They only showed a bit of the Pokemon on the title screen because the rest of it was a let down :argh:!

Attestant
Oct 23, 2012

Don't judge me.

XavierGenisi posted:

Welcome to the endgame, folks. It's all downhill from here.

Were we ever not spiraling downwards steadily?

Jen X
Sep 29, 2014

To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.
Cameron Stormbringer

Orange Fluffy Sheep
Jul 26, 2008

Bad EXP received

Attestant posted:

Were we ever not spiraling downwards steadily?

When the game had surfing ninjas in it, it was briefly rising.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
Cameron Stormbringer doesn't sleep, he waits.

Underneath Cameron Stormbringer's beard isn't a chin, there is only another Master Ball.

Zore
Sep 21, 2010
willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d’etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things
I love that he hosed up so bad he got an early retirement and spent a decade under an assumed name, working as a janitor and starting a family he never told his real name to, so he could keep investigating.

Theo's 10 right? Dude got busy right after he got kicked out of Interpol.

Sorites
Sep 10, 2012

I'll say one thing for the part where you can't leave: Nuclear Pokemon have roughly the same type match-ups with everything, so there's little chance of getting screwed on the typing table the way you might if a normal Pokemon game locked you into a segment of the plot.

Some Numbers
Sep 28, 2006

"LET'S GET DOWN TO WORK!!"
NINE. YEARS. OF. DEVELOPMENT.

Gollom
Mar 5, 2007
I pawned the precious

XavierGenisi posted:

Welcome to the endgame, folks. It's all downhill from here.

We're kind of scraping bedrock here, how much more downhill can we go?

I'm not being glib, I actually really want to find out!

Zore
Sep 21, 2010
willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d’etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Gollom posted:

We're kind of scraping bedrock here, how much more downhill can we go?

I'm not being glib, I actually really want to find out!

Are you familiar with the term 'mantle'?

KataraniSword
Apr 22, 2008

but at least I don't have
a MLP or MSPA avatar.
I am my own man.

Some Numbers posted:

NINE. YEARS. OF. DEVELOPMENT.

Owlboy also took nine years to develop and is actually a good game!

So, you know. As it goes.

Blarghalt
May 19, 2010

Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

When the game had surfing ninjas in it, it was briefly rising.



Broken clock, ect ect.

PizzaProwler
Nov 4, 2009

Or you can see me at The Riviera. Tuesday nights.
Pillowfights with Dominican mothers.
Is no one going to comment on the fact that Urayne's special teleportation ability is called Quantum Leap? Is this game's main villain Scott Bakula?

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
This game is making me appreciate Lysandre and Archer as villains.

Geizt
Dec 10, 2014



It feels like a slap in the face that this loving game has the audacity to joke about you not getting fly until after the 8th gym.

Crosspeice
Aug 9, 2013

nice meltdown

Last Celebration
Mar 30, 2010

Geizt posted:

It feels like a slap in the face that this loving game has the audacity to joke about you not getting fly until after the 8th gym.

Yeah I'm pretty drat sure it's never ever been later than right after the sixth badge, usually five. poo poo, S/M just goes "15% of the game done, okay champ, quicktravel, no HM either but we'll give you the TM later if you want!"

Waffleman_
Jan 20, 2011


I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

Geizt posted:

It feels like a slap in the face that this loving game has the audacity to joke about you not getting fly until after the 8th gym.

Fly comes so late that in TieTuesday's playthrough, he legitimately thought at times that Fly just wasn't in the game and eventually cheated the HM in.

RyuHimora
Feb 22, 2009

Some Numbers posted:

NINE. YEARS. OF. DEVELOPMENT.

Do we know that it was actively being worked on for all that time?

Jen X
Sep 29, 2014

To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.

FELD1 posted:

Is no one going to comment on the fact that Urayne's special teleportation ability is called Quantum Leap? Is this game's main villain Scott Bakula?

We're all trying to avoid mentioning how supremely awful this game's understanding of any physics past the 8th grade level is.

XavierGenisi
Nov 7, 2009

:dukedog:

Gollom posted:

We're kind of scraping bedrock here, how much more downhill can we go?

I'm not being glib, I actually really want to find out!

We're digging through the mantle and all the way to the core of this poo poo!

Doseku
Nov 9, 2009
I'm really hoping that Curie will turn out to be the player characters mother. It would be up this game's alley in edgelordness.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Doseku posted:

I'm really hoping that Curie will turn out to be the player characters mother. It would be up this game's alley in edgelordness.
gently caress, you're right, that's gotta be it. :cripes:

SyntheticPolygon
Dec 20, 2013

Doseku posted:

I'm really hoping that Curie will turn out to be the player characters mother. It would be up this game's alley in edgelordness.

If true then I can't believe Sun and Moon stole Evil Villain Mom from this game. Proof that Uranium is truly the superior product.

serefin99
Apr 15, 2016

Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!

Doseku posted:

I'm really hoping that Curie will turn out to be the player characters mother. It would be up this game's alley in edgelordness.

oh god please no

Ayndin
Mar 13, 2010

PMush Perfect posted:

gently caress, you're right, that's gotta be it. :cripes:

It's the most cliche thing possible so it's obviously going to happen.

The real question is, how hammy and stupid will the writing for the reveal be?

FPzero
Oct 20, 2008

Game Over
Return of Mido

Oh god, that's gonna be the answer isn't it?

Did our mother have a name? Is it anywhere close to Curie?

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Brother Entropy
Dec 27, 2009

Doseku posted:

I'm really hoping that Curie will turn out to be the player characters mother. It would be up this game's alley in edgelordness.

unless it's in some of the dialog ofs skips i don't think curie's gender is noted one way or another which is definitely the kind of thing cliche stories do when mentioning the gender in incidental dialog would make everyone immediately go 'oh it's the long lost family member isn't it'

of course naming the character after marie curie kinda undermines that idea but whatever, this is pokemon uranium bitch

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