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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:Dude car life changes wildly by make/model and geography. If she's got an american car in a city that salts the roads a lot, 10 years may be pretty close to junkyard time. I might be using standard goon hyperbole, but I say the same thing about guys buying cars they can't afford. Which in my experience is a lot more common because cars are such a huge status symbol for men in their 20s. Salt is a fair point. I live where we don't use salt, so cars last a long time. Maybe don't call me sexist because the person that I'm ridiculing the same as I ridicule everyone else in this thread is a woman. If I was her, unless I completely misread and that was gross rather than net after business expenses, that relationship would be over.
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Jun 6, 2017 21:03
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crazypeltast52 posted:I have friends that will spend forever looking for free parking if we go to meet somewhere that requires parking. I know some of them don't make a ton and therefore it makes sense that they aren't going to pay for parking. Friends that do make enough money though I think are cheap. some people don't put much value on their own time
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Jun 6, 2017 21:05
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I might be using standard goon hyperbole, but I say the same thing about guys buying cars they can't afford. Which in my experience is a lot more common because cars are such a huge status symbol for men in their 20s. I've lived in the Northeast and plenty of places that are salted for 4-5 months a year and the idea that someone would think that driving a 2008 model car is a punishment, even in the most inhospitable climate for cars, is still crazy.
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Jun 6, 2017 21:19
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Cars are deeply bad with money and anything a person can do to avoid the treadmill of replacing a car before it becomes more expensive to repair than replace is good with money. This includes lying, cheating and stealing.
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Jun 6, 2017 21:23
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Bottom line is that he allowed her to be misled about his finances and doesn't like to go out to eat or go on trips with her and considers it "a waste of money". They're incompatible and need to break up, and it probably would have happened a while back if he was upfront about being cheap and not broke.
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Jun 6, 2017 21:24
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monster on a stick posted:If they agreed to split rent/groceries/expenses 50/50 and he is paying 50%, which he is, then that sounds fair by definition. He didn't claim poverty so she'd pay more.
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Jun 6, 2017 21:41
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monster on a stick posted:I'm guessing he's one of those Mr Money Mustache types who is saving a ton of money so he can retire at 35 or something. Self-employed people can have big ups and downs. He might make $200k one year, $50k the next. He might be nervous about upgrading his lifestyle to $200k and then next year not being able to pay the mortgage. If they had actually talked honestly about finances he could have shared that with her and they might have come to some compromise where they upgraded their lifestyle slightly, or come to the understanding that he was practicing a frugal lifestyle in preparation for early retirement (and they could have split up, because that's clearly something she doesn't want.)
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Jun 6, 2017 21:56
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22 Eargesplitten posted:I might be using standard goon hyperbole, but I say the same thing about guys buying cars they can't afford. Which in my experience is a lot more common because cars are such a huge status symbol for men in their 20s. If you don't want to be called sexist don't do sexist things. Pretty simple, bruh. Inept posted:Bottom line is that he allowed her to be misled about his finances and doesn't like to go out to eat or go on trips with her and considers it "a waste of money". They're incompatible and need to break up, and it probably would have happened a while back if he was upfront about being cheap and not broke. He didn't "allow her to be misled," he lied to her. Compulsively reframing this so she's the bad guy and downplaying what he chose to do is motivated by sexism. The woman has to be in the wrong, no matter how many facts you have to change to get there. brugroffil posted:some people don't put much value on their own time What people like that don't get is by doing that they're also showing they don't value their friends' time either. Tiny Brontosaurus fucked around with this message at 22:15 on Jun 6, 2017 |
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Jun 6, 2017 22:12
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:Dude car life changes wildly by make/model and geography. If she's got an american car in a city that salts the roads a lot, 10 years may be pretty close to junkyard time. I drove an american car that was almost 20 years old when I got rid of it in the North East where my city salts the roads a lot. Even then it still drove fine, it just developed an electrical problem that was expensive enough that I decided it was worth buying a new car instead of repairing my almost 20 year old car. Hell my current car was 8 years old when I bought it last year and it had also been driven in the same conditions and it looks almost brand new.
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Jun 6, 2017 22:18
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Steampunk Hitler posted:I drove an american car that was almost 20 years old when I got rid of it in the North East where my city salts the roads a lot. Even then it still drove fine, it just developed an electrical problem that was expensive enough that I decided it was worth buying a new car instead of repairing my almost 20 year old car. Hell my current car was 8 years old when I bought it last year and it had also been driven in the same conditions and it looks almost brand new. Read the OP, you captain of industry you.
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Jun 6, 2017 22:20
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You drat women whine about wanting more autonomy but then complain when men are nice enough to allow you to be misled, who's the real bad guy here huh 
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Jun 6, 2017 22:27
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BarbarianElephant posted:Self-employed people can have big ups and downs. He might make $200k one year, $50k the next. He might be nervous about upgrading his lifestyle to $200k and then next year not being able to pay the mortgage. This is a good point. If the BF is, I dunno, a real estate agent in Vancouver or Auckland, I can see both wanting to squirrel away money for when the local real estate market collapses and his income drops, and not wanting to buy a house in an overheated market. Tiny Brontosaurus posted:But if two people in a relationship make unequal amounts of money, 50/50 isn't a fair split. It should go by percentages, so the lower-income person isn't giving up nearly all their earnings to keep up. Lying to her like this took money out of her pocket, money it might have been a hardship to spend. Doing it 50/50 can also cause resentment on the higher-earner's side, because they feel held back by always having to make things fit the lower-earner's budget. That "can cause resentment on the higher-earner's side" is not true at all. Any friction would be caused by their willingness to spend money (regardless of how much they made.) Two frugal people are going to get along fine if one is making $30K and the other is making $300K because they are both hitting Aldi's looking for marked-down meat and are driving cars until they finally fall apart from rust. Steampunk Hitler posted:I drove an american car that was almost 20 years old when I got rid of it in the North East where my city salts the roads a lot. Even then it still drove fine, it just developed an electrical problem that was expensive enough that I decided it was worth buying a new car instead of repairing my almost 20 year old car. Hell my current car was 8 years old when I bought it last year and it had also been driven in the same conditions and it looks almost brand new. All you need to do is wash your car once in a while, especially after the road has been salted, to wash it off. This isn't the '70s.
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Jun 6, 2017 22:46
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BarbarianElephant posted:Self-employed people can have big ups and downs. He might make $200k one year, $50k the next. He might be nervous about upgrading his lifestyle to $200k and then next year not being able to pay the mortgage. Of course we don't know what the tax return looked like, (or frankly what kind of online business the guy runs) but I'm curious if he's bringing in $227k a year or if his business is bringing in $227k a year (which, depending on the corporate form of his business may be reported on his personal income tax). Assuming that's business income, then he also had to pay for the costs of running the business (software, advertising, hosting, possibly employees/contractors, financing business debt if he took out a loan), both halves of his payroll tax, self employment tax (covering his social security and medicare), federal and state income taxes, etc. For all we know, he grossed $227k and netted $27k, or even less. Maybe the guy is a tightwad. Or maybe he's putting every dime back into his business and has very little money to spend on himself. Point is, these two sorely need to have an open and honest discussion about their finances and future goals together. Though I think it'll be hard to start that conversation with "so I was
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Jun 6, 2017 22:47
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monster on a stick posted:That "can cause resentment on the higher-earner's side" is not true at all. Any friction would be caused by their willingness to spend money (regardless of how much they made.) Two frugal people are going to get along fine if one is making $30K and the other is making $300K because they are both hitting Aldi's looking for marked-down meat and are driving cars until they finally fall apart from rust.  Never want anything different than your partner and then you'll never disagree. Bing bong so simple.GamingHyena posted:Though I think it'll be hard to start that conversation with "so I was Oh hey look, yet another revision that makes the woman the villain.
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Jun 6, 2017 22:48
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:
Finding someone with compatible spending habits is GWL (and GWM if you are both frugal.) You don't even need to agree 100% of the time, shockingly. Tiny Brontosaurus posted:Oh hey look, yet another revision that makes the woman the villain. People don't usually leave their tax returns out two months after they were due.
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Jun 6, 2017 22:49
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monster on a stick posted:Finding someone with compatible spending habits is GWL (and GWM if you are both frugal.) You don't even need to agree 100% of the time, shockingly. Point of order, Mr. Relationship Expert, you just said wanting to make different spending choices "can't cause resentment." Pick an argument, don't just keep flipping to the opposite of whatever I said so The Woman Is Always Wrong.
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Jun 6, 2017 22:51
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monster on a stick posted:That "can cause resentment on the higher-earner's side" is not true at all. Any friction would be caused by their willingness to spend money (regardless of how much they made.) Two frugal people are going to get along fine if one is making $30K and the other is making $300K because they are both hitting Aldi's looking for marked-down meat and are driving cars until they finally fall apart from rust. I would describe someone who makes 30k and tries to find marked down meat at Aldi as frugal, while someone who does the same thing and makes $300k as having a problem. Also, why does everyone call it "Aldi's"? It's not like we call other stores "Wal-Mart's" or "Target's" or whatever.
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Jun 6, 2017 22:51
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monster on a stick posted:This is a good point. If the BF is, I dunno, a real estate agent in Vancouver or Auckland, I can see both wanting to squirrel away money for when the local real estate market collapses and his income drops, and not wanting to buy a house in an overheated market. Automakers are a lot better about painting/coating parts so they don't corrode like they used to. But there's still a good reason used cars generally travel north to be resold and not south. My cousin moved in with us from Vermont and her brake system had to be completely replaced on a 11 year old Altima with very little surface rust, but a whole lot of interior decay. Two places where it's BWM to buy an used car from: Louisiana and New England.
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Jun 6, 2017 22:53
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Droo posted:I would describe someone who makes 30k and tries to find marked down meat at Aldi as frugal, while someone who does the same thing and makes $300k as having a problem. People do that with any store that's a name - JC Penney's, Meijer's, etc. I think Aldi's not actually a name but an anagram of one, but it feels right to people. monster on a stick posted:People don't usually leave their tax returns out two months after they were due. If you're so right about her being conniving you wouldn't need to make poo poo up to prove it, would you? Stick to the actual facts in the post.
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Jun 6, 2017 22:53
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:
I don't even care about the "snooping" but how plausible is the scenario of: - I was cleaning your office - I moved an envelope from the IRS and accidentally opened it - I accidentally realized it was your tax return - I accidentally unfolded your tax return - I accidentally scanned it and looked for your schedule C to determine your pass-through income from your business Pretty much every Reddit post tries to preempt the "snooping" accusation by stumbling across it in a wildly improbable accidental scenario.
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Jun 6, 2017 22:55
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monster on a stick posted:People don't usually leave their tax returns out two months after they were due. It definitely happens. Also, if you filed an extension, they weren't due in April. Also also we don't know when his company's end of year is. Mine's in July, details are on my desk right now. E: oh, this might be the assessment and not the returns, but the assessment could have just come back for the same reasons
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Jun 6, 2017 22:56
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Leon Trotsky 2012 posted:I don't even care about the "snooping" but how plausible is the scenario of: Where the gently caress are you getting any of this? What envelope? Do you loving misogynistic pricks seriously not loving see what you're doing here? What in god's name is wrong with you? Just call her a oval office and be done with it, Trot. You don't need to write fanfiction about her.
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Jun 6, 2017 22:56
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I want to say it could be a situation like my dad's desk where it's just full of loving paperwork clutter 900% of the time, but he also keeps things in nice "organized" piles and every married couple I've ever seen does not gently caress with the other person's "filing system." In other words, I feel like snooping is more likely though dun goof is possible.
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Jun 6, 2017 22:58
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:Point of order, Mr. Relationship Expert, you just said wanting to make different spending choices "can't cause resentment." Pick an argument, don't just keep flipping to the opposite of whatever I said so The Woman Is Always Wrong. You are the one who said, and I quote, "Doing it [splitting expenses] 50/50 can also cause resentment on the higher-earner's side, because they feel held back by always having to make things fit the lower-earner's budget" even though we don't even know who is making more money, and assuming it's her, she's not resentful about fitting things into his budget, but is resentful that one line on his tax return is $200K+, and assuming it's him, he's not resentful at all about about having to lower his spending because he's doing it because he's frugal/cheap, and assuming they both make the same amount, they're both looking at each other thinking the other is crazy because "she spends too much!"/"he spends so little!" even though for all we know she is looking to buy a tiny house or something and he's clearing a lot less after taxes and expenses. Krispy Kareem posted:Two places where it's BWM to buy an used car from: Louisiana and New England. Just get used cars checked out by a trusted mechanic. I know a few used car dealers in the Seattle area who import their cars from New England.
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Jun 6, 2017 23:05
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:If you don't want to be called sexist don't do sexist things. Pretty simple, bruh. What did I say that was sexist? Legitimately asking, I know I have caught myself saying/thinking sexist things before. She's BWM, he's extremely BWL. Assuming that she read the tax return right (I would have no idea how to read the taxes for a business, and a business can have tiny margins), he is absolutely the villain in this situation. Or maybe she's not BWM. Maybe she makes a ton of money, I guess she never specified that. I assumed their incomes were relatively similar. Judging by your posts, so did you. If he was lying and saying that he couldn't afford to go on a trip when she could have paid her way and he actually could have paid his, that's also extremely lovely. I wouldn't feel comfortable buying a house without joint finances, though. I have a hard time thinking about separate finances, my wife and I shared finances since I got my first real job. Well before we even lived together. Personally I feel like having a "Your Money" and a "My Money" aside from individual discretionary budgets causes strife in a cohabitation situation, but I know others make it work. I don't think snooping was necessary. I know my eyes would be drawn to a gigantic number on a tax form, which could easily be left on a desk. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 23:13 on Jun 6, 2017 |
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Jun 6, 2017 23:05
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Stop giving her the satisfaction and maybe she will gently caress off back to DnD or TGRS and stop making GBS threads up our BFC threads. TB your on topic effortposts in TGRS and before that in DnD have been good and informative, but when you come into BFC and start chasing shadows and accusing everyone of whatever ism you decide you are gonna troll us with that day it is unfunny and hella annoying. It is a bad gimmick that only makes people take your genuine concerns less seriously.
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Jun 6, 2017 23:12
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therobit posted:Stop giving her the satisfaction and maybe she will gently caress off back to DnD or TGRS and stop making GBS threads up our BFC threads. this. 
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Jun 6, 2017 23:16
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22 Eargesplitten posted:What did I say that was sexist? Legitimately asking, I know I have caught myself saying/thinking sexist things before. monster on a stick posted:You are the one who said, and I quote, "Doing it [splitting expenses] 50/50 can also cause resentment on the higher-earner's side, because they feel held back by always having to make things fit the lower-earner's budget" Yes, because it can, goonlord. It's a pretty common, frequently-discussed thing. I'm not going to get dragged down into explaining fundamental hu-mon interaction with you so you can duck out of the sexist bullshit you're pulling. Fix your poo poo instead of trying to pretend humanity is too hard for robots to understand. If you don't know enough about humans to know how resentment happens you don't know enough about humans to be branding a woman as a succubus bitch goddess just for disliking being lied to. therobit posted:Stop giving her the satisfaction and maybe she will gently caress off back to DnD or TGRS and stop making GBS threads up our BFC threads. I don't give a gently caress what you think. If there wasn't any sexism in here there wouldn't have to be any sexism callouts in here.
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Jun 6, 2017 23:16
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Hahaha I had my W-2 on my desk for five months. She's cleaning, involves decluttering
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Jun 6, 2017 23:18
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Droo posted:I would describe someone who makes 30k and tries to find marked down meat at Aldi as frugal, while someone who does the same thing and makes $300k as having a problem. I don't know if I'd agree with that, but we may never know for sure, since anyone who makes vast more than their partner but accepts splitting costs evenly will be dead by my hand before a full psychiatric evaluation can be made. E: iirc there were stories in the last thread about people consistently scamming their friends out of group checks and the like. Those people are bad, and this guy is at least as bad. Doc Hawkins fucked around with this message at 23:28 on Jun 6, 2017 |
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Jun 6, 2017 23:21
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:He didn't "allow her to be misled," he lied to her. Compulsively reframing this so she's the bad guy and downplaying what he chose to do is motivated by sexism. The woman has to be in the wrong, no matter how many facts you have to change to get there. You're right, he lied. I don't think she was in the wrong at all though, and never said she was.
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Jun 6, 2017 23:24
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Inept posted:You're right, he lied. I don't think she was in the wrong at all though, and never said she was. Thank you. Seriously think about why you framed it that way at first - saying "he misled her" would be bad enough since it's downplaying what he did, but instead he only "allowed her to be misled." As if he's not the one doing his own actions? What's up with that? This to me is the crux of the issue right here: "The OP's Post History, Which You Guys Should Consider Reading posted:Friends and family asked us to come on dinner dates, vacations, etc. and we routinely said no because he claimed he couldn't afford it. Tiny Brontosaurus fucked around with this message at 23:52 on Jun 6, 2017 |
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Jun 6, 2017 23:27
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Submarine Sandpaper posted:Hahaha I had my W-2 on my desk for five months. She's cleaning, involves decluttering Even if you're supposed to be somewhere, if you see information that was supposed to be private, pretend you didn't see it you damned goons. Unless someone is in danger (e: public interest would also be a potential exception), the ethical thing to do is to forget you accidentally (being generous and assuming no one was actually snooping) saw someone else's private papers. AreWeDrunkYet fucked around with this message at 23:32 on Jun 6, 2017 |
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Jun 6, 2017 23:29
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TB you need classes on argument and rhetoric yo, you consistently piss all over your own arguments with the need to insult people whose minds you are trying to change. I know it's not on topic but this last page was a loving disaster
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Jun 6, 2017 23:29
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:What people like that don't get is by doing that they're also showing they don't value their friends' time either. This is what I was saying. Reddit poster's BF was cheap and wasted a bunch of time/utility by being cheap. It was one thing for them to not make money as a couple was one thing, but to know that he was cheap is another. Like he can be as cheap as he wants, but she should know that he is cheap by choice instead of thinking that he is just not making much money. One is a circumstance, the other is a character trait.
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Jun 6, 2017 23:31
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There's too little info to make any solid guesses but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that homeboy isn't planning a life with this gf and if that is the case, she should leave him and find someone who wants to actually build a life with her. Sounds like they both kinda suck to be honest
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Jun 6, 2017 23:33
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KingSlime posted:TB you need classes on argument and rhetoric yo, you consistently piss all over your own arguments with the need to insult people whose minds you are trying to change. What a hot and completely fresh take. May I invite you to take a minute out of your undoubtedly packed schedule and look at the 9300000000 times I said a swear-free "hey, women are people" and got completely fuckbarreled for it? No? Then go gently caress yourself. KingSlime posted:There's too little info to make any solid guesses but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and suggest that homeboy isn't planning a life with this gf and if that is the case, she should leave him and find someone who wants to actually build a life with her. Seriously what sucks about her besides "was female and disagreed with a man"
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Jun 6, 2017 23:33
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:She said she makes "a good living" and paid for things he didn't want to do by herself. We are discussing things through a text-based medium, the words are written down for you to refer back to. Since you don't have to make poo poo up, the fact that you keep choosing to is extremely telling. Honestly I just skim those things, I didn't read the entire post because I'm supposed to be working. I mostly just read what's bolded. Yeah, if she's making good money for the area, she's not BWM, I take it back. If he netted $227k he goes from BWL to manipulative and probably abusive. I assumed that couples make similar amounts of money, which is really dumb.
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Jun 6, 2017 23:34
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guys can you please stop fuckbarreling tiny brontosaurus so that she can move on to another thread?
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Jun 6, 2017 23:34
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Honestly I just skim those things, I didn't read the entire post because I'm supposed to be working. I mostly just read what's bolded. Then why the gently caress did you act like you knew what you were talking about? Do you see? Does anybody here loving see? Why did you assume that the wrongful person in a story you didn't read was the woman? Based on what?
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Jun 6, 2017 23:38
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