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fruit on the bottom posted:I tried this, but the villagers drove me from the town with pitchforks and torches cursing my "father's" name They were calling you "Everyone?"
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Jun 7, 2017 18:35
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quote:My gf and I have been together for a few months. Initially she lied to me about a guy who she had been messaging quite a lot.
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Jun 7, 2017 19:00
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8 Ball posted:It's like a lovely Norm Macdonald joke It's some dumb joke from some dumb show somewhere: 
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Jun 7, 2017 19:01
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8 Ball posted:lovely Norm Macdonald joke One of these words does not belong.
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Jun 7, 2017 19:03
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Solice Kirsk posted:They were calling you "Everyone?" Oui
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Jun 7, 2017 19:11
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yeah I eat rear end posted:One of these words does not belong. lovely MacDonald joke?
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Jun 7, 2017 19:12
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Solice Kirsk posted:lovely MacDonald joke? Joke doesn't belong.
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Jun 7, 2017 20:14
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purple death ray posted:Link? Links a guy.
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Jun 7, 2017 20:36
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Solice Kirsk posted:I was thinking some sort of free energy system. That would throw every country into a massive poo poo storm instantly. Eventually it would be a net good for humanity, but the immediate effects would be catastrophic. Especially if the country that discovers it doesn't share. That would be amazing, almost as if we could get energy from the sun!
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Jun 7, 2017 22:29
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Anton Chigurh posted:That would be amazing, almost as if we could get energy from the sun! We might as well hope for scientists to invent magic. Power from the sun....you can't get power from the sun. It's not even on earth. 
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Jun 7, 2017 23:39
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quote:I've been living under a fake name for the last 4 years to flee the crushing amount of debt I owed. I'm gonna be honest I can't really get behind somebody dodging child support Like, dodging student loan debt I'm fine with because our system is horrible. Dodging taxes could be pitched to me as noble I guess depending on how eloquent you are about it. Alimony is kind of a gray area depending on whether your ex actually needs it or can make her own living just fine. Credit card debt is mostly just you being stupid, but poo poo happens I guess so if you have to dodge, dodge away. But dodging child support is pretty much just you stealing from your own kid. Enjoy your little prison life in Mexico I guess. quote:My uncle convinced elementary school me that the movie "Phantasm" was real and that all that stuff happened but they just dramatized it for a movie. I was also way too young to watch that movie but Uncle Jim would watch it if I ever stayed the night. This is actually really impressive commitment to a prank Motherfucker even died for it
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Jun 7, 2017 23:57
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:This is the most important piece of advice to all the confessors who whine that they've never been laid/touched a girl/etc. This is 100% true, in fact I was going to say the same thing. But, one big caveat: don't overdo it. Some confidence is good; too much confidence turns you into an Axe-wearing douchebag who attracts mindless soroity girls, but repels anyone with a triple digit IQ. quote:If you've spent a year volunteering at an animal shelter or a soup kitchen or running a Dungeons and Dragons club or visiting the elderly in nursing homes, nobody can take that away from you. One of these things is not like the other.
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Jun 8, 2017 00:28
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Debt dodger posted:I live just south of the Mexican/US border now. Good news: you STUCK IT TO THE MAN!! Bad news: Mexico.
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Jun 8, 2017 00:30
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Gynovore posted:Good news: you STUCK IT TO THE MAN!! Maybe he can help build the wall?
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Jun 8, 2017 00:35
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Gynovore posted:Some confidence is good; too much confidence turns you into an Axe-wearing douchebag who attracts mindless soroity girls be overconfident- got it
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Jun 8, 2017 01:35
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Uncle Jim is the loving man, holy poo poo what a long con
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Jun 8, 2017 01:53
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Danaru posted:Uncle Jim is the loving man, holy poo poo what a long con
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Jun 8, 2017 01:55
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Pranks used to mean something in the old days. Nowadays we just have white kids freaking the poo poo out of black people on YouTube and calling it a "prank" Godspeed Uncle Jim
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Jun 8, 2017 02:39
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Discovery goon probably accidentally teleported photons or some poo poo, and the #s look like it should be possible to teleport physical objects.
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Jun 8, 2017 02:45
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quote:My wife and I have a super healthy and wonderful marriage - no issues there. I'm guessing she looks a lot like them? Maybe she'd take it as a compliment, he said, chuckling and shaking his head quote:When we got married, my wife and I gave up some of our wilder hobbies. No more drugs was the big one. We both enjoyed cocaine pretty routinely, even keeping around 1000 dollars worth in the nightstand to help fuel sexual fun. yeah uh you guys should probably get off cocaine again, sorry to be a buzzkill If your job sucks, you will be depressed regardless of whether you're going through withdrawal or not, so you should stay off coke long enough to actually make it all the way through withdrawal, then quit your job and find a new one. People have crises like these all the time and manage to deal with it without expensive drugs.
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Jun 8, 2017 03:31
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alpaca diseases posted:be overconfident- got it Don't forget the Axe body spray. A whole can every time you go out. And the vodka Red Bull, that's another essential.
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Jun 8, 2017 03:42
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Gynovore posted:Don't forget the Axe body spray. A whole can every time you go out. If you buy vodka rebulls for bitches they will slob your knob most likely. of course I live in a trash pit on the land down under so maybe I'm a garbage boy.
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Jun 8, 2017 04:47
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loquacius posted:I'm guessing she looks a lot like them? Maybe she'd take it as a compliment, he said, chuckling and shaking his head Cocaine is REALLY loving BAD The tolerance for it builds up pretty steeply and your nose is gonna rot off, plus how can you still afford it? Oh btw, cocaine plus alcohol almost always leads to domestic violence.
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Jun 8, 2017 04:50
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got any sevens posted:Cocaine is REALLY loving BAD Ya know Whitney Houston? How come she don't put out any new records? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocaethylene
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Jun 8, 2017 05:00
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The twist is that she's been doing the exact same thing to you and you're both going to overdose soon
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Jun 8, 2017 05:00
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loquacius posted:yeah uh you guys should probably get off cocaine again, sorry to be a buzzkill This. Kick the coke, find a job that makes you happy, do the same for your wife if she needs it. When you guys are actually happy in your positions in life then you'll notice all these problems vanish. You can't just keep snorting away all your problems, may as well take care of them now while you're not balls deep in a life built around them.
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Jun 8, 2017 05:36
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Counterpoint: cocaine seems like it makes your life fun and exciting so I don't think you should stop. Mods please change my name to lovely agony aunt
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Jun 8, 2017 05:44
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You're gonna find one day your life is still boring and lovely on cocaine and you'll be spending shitloads of cash just to keep it that way. This is because your baseline existence is boring and lovely.
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Jun 8, 2017 05:55
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Police Automaton posted:In scientific fields it actually happens quite a bit that someone thinks they discovered some absolute game-changer just to figure out in the end it was some math- or measurement error. Quite funnily, in that regard the confession sounds almost believable. I know this is late, but don't listen to this guy! That's just what they want you to believe! Don't X-Fules this poo poo, tell us how you made the car run on water already!  Motherfucker posted:If you buy vodka rebulls for bitches they will slob your knob most likely. gently caress that, live that dream you lucky motherfucker.
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Jun 8, 2017 06:01
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Maybe cocaine goon could get a prescription to a cheaper, healthier alternative like Ritalin or something?
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Jun 8, 2017 14:11
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Just smoke weed idiots That's free advice for anyone in this thread
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Jun 8, 2017 14:17
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got any sevens posted:Cocaine is REALLY loving BAD its not that bad just really loving expensive. ofc don't secretly slip people it
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Jun 8, 2017 14:20
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purple death ray posted:Just smoke weed idiots I second this. Cocaine is a bitch.
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Jun 8, 2017 14:34
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purple death ray posted:Just smoke weed idiots Weed makes any activity feel fun, is super cheap, is basically legal depending how white you are, rapidly approaching actually legal depending where you live, is not physically addictive, and probably won't destroy your life unless you don't have a lot else going on. Also weed dealers are the most harmless and unintimidating career criminals in existence. In short I'd highly recommend it.
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Jun 8, 2017 14:45
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Stop drugging your wife and both of you go to rehab. You can't get fired if you go to rehab! May even get it as paid time off depending on how good your HR/benefits are.
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Jun 8, 2017 14:49
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to a poor rear end in a top hat like me announcing you're a coke addict seems like humblebragging tbh. Just destroy your life with alcohol a civilized person.
Motherfucker fucked around with this message at 15:06 on Jun 8, 2017 |
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Jun 8, 2017 15:01
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loquacius posted:Weed makes any activity feel fun, is super cheap, is basically legal depending how white you are, rapidly approaching actually legal depending where you live, is not physically addictive, and probably won't destroy your life unless you don't have a lot else going on. Also weed dealers are the most harmless and unintimidating career criminals in existence. In short I'd highly recommend it. Counterpoint: alcoholism is fun, and you're not tedious like high people are 
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Jun 8, 2017 15:14
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If you are hanging out with high people and you find them tedious, you're probably not high enough
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Jun 8, 2017 15:23
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cmon dude, don't quit the rock star lifestyle cold turkey, do weed and alcohol.
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Jun 8, 2017 15:27
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Gynovore posted:Don't forget the Axe body spray. A whole can every time you go out. jagerbombs actually And you gotta scream it so the whole bar knows what ur drinking e: Motherfucker posted:of course I live in a trash pit on the land down under so maybe I'm a garbage boy. or any sort of premixed smirnoff/jd's for my fellow down under shithole buddy 
alpaca diseases fucked around with this message at 15:54 on Jun 8, 2017 |
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Jun 8, 2017 15:47
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