Len posted:

Also slightly racist

Keith Atherton posted:

There's an old man who walks around my neighborhood who apparently was mean to the crows at some point because they yell at him and follow him when he walks around flying around his head.

Not a STDH but its funny.

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Australian magpies (unrelated to European or American magpies) recognise people they don't like and will also teach their offspring to attack mean people. In maggie season though they pretty much all attack anyone but their best friend people (this is why you leave food out for them).

quote:

(I’m on the Metro (subway) during rush hour. Arriving at a station, I see a little girl with a bandaged leg and a crutch getting in the car with her mother. Since there are no seats available, she stays up. A few seconds later, a young man dressed like a thug on a seat behind them calls to the mother.)

Young Man: “Ma’am, take my seat for your child.”

Mother: “Oh, thank you.”

(As soon as the young man gets up, however, a middle-aged lady in a business suit jumps into his seat without saying a word.)

Young Man: “Ma’am, I gave my seat to the little girl, not to you.”

Middle-aged Lady: “You should’ve said so.”

Young Man: “You were right in front of me and clearly heard me. Besides, it’s obvious this girl needs a seat more than you.”

Middle-aged Lady: *angrily* “What’s your point?!”

Young Man: “My point is that you’re rude and impolite.”

Middle-aged Lady: “Who the f*** do you think you are to talk to me like that?! Do you know WHO I am?!”

Young Man: “I think I am someone much more polite and well-educated than you. And to who you are, I frankly don’t care.”

Middle-aged Lady: “YOU LITTLE F***! My husband owns [some big company]! I’m infinitely much richer and more powerful than you!”

Young Man: *grinning* “So, powerful and rich you take the metro to go home?”

(Stunned, the middle-aged lady looks like she’s been struck by lightning. She sheepishly leaves the car at the next station. The young man then turns to the girl and her mother, who are literally speechless.)

Young Man: *to the mother* “Sorry for that. There’s your seat!”

(The whole car cheered and applauded him. Whoever you are, Metro gentleman, you have my thumbs up!)

quote:

(I’m at an anime convention, and go to a fast food place down the road from the hotel. There’s also a big biker’s event nearby, and the building is crowded with rather intimidating men. As I have my cosplay on still, I fear harassment. While waiting for a table, one of the bikers comes up to me.)

Biker: “Hey, I love your outfit. Did you make that yourself?”

Me: “Uh… Yeah… Thanks…”

Biker: “Do you mind if I take a picture?”

Me: “Oh, not at all. Go ahead!”

(He takes a quick picture, then goes back to his table. Later, I ask my waitress for my bill, and she shakes her head.)

Waitress: “Someone else paid for your meal. And he said to give you this.”

(She hands me a note.)

Note: “Thank you for letting me take a picture of your cosplay. My son is home with cancer, and loves [Anime]. I sent him the picture, and he’s smiled for the first time since he got sick. Thank you.”

(I almost started crying. I didn’t see the man after that.)

hyperhazard posted:

So NAR has a new site, "Not Always Hopeless" which is almost too easy.

A total badass posted:

I was involved in an attempted car-jack by several notorious local gangsters who were pulling cars over and demanding to be paid because of some reason, generally predators trying to pick out weaker parties to harass and brutalize. I was in the middle of training National SWAT 40 hours a week on a very heavy triple division schedule so I was in an intensely rigorous, violent and ballistic environment for months on end.

On the way home from a late night out with a friend, I passed a vehicle quite rapidly, while it was dark and raining, and probably sent a rooster tail of water drenching their vehicle, but since it was pouring anyway, I did not think the accidental spray would be considered antagonistic. As I approached the downhill side close to my house a car sped by and pulled an L turn stopping horizontal and perpendicular to my travel about 50 feet ahead. I slowed and saw that it was the same car and now three people emerged with two katanas and an aluminum bat. I slowly backed the car up and did a U-Turn and approached my drive way from the opposite direction by rounding the back of the hill that I resided on. As I drove into the driveway I was followed in to my property by the car and its passengers disembarked, blocked the entrance and armed as they were just 10 minutes earlier.

I stayed in the car until one hacked a divot into the window frame just above the driver’s side window and I felt it would be best to get out and meet them. As I stepped out of the car the first guy with the katana was preparing for another attack and was in the process of chambering his sword above his head so I stepped into range and delivered a left roundhouse kick to the bridge of his nose and he went down. Immediately I sensed someone taking a swing at me and rotated with his horizontal cut in a rear foot right side-step and this set me up for an hip sweep as I parallel placed my body to his and swept him into the asphalt. My driveway is a split level and my car was on the upper level where I kicked the first guy out, but the second guy was now on the driveway face down on the lower level which put me just where my head was at the waist level of the last guy with the aluminum bat. There was a lot of noise and my neighbors woke up but did not want to get involved. Later I asked why my friend didn’t come out to my assistance and he told me he was stopped by his wife who told him that if I couldn’t handle them, he would be no help as well…so this third guy took a swing at my head and at this point I was moving pretty fluidly and grabbed the bat out of his hand and turned it on him, hitting him about 7–8 times about the head and arms until he crumpled, but the first guy was back up and started to run, in the wrong direction, towards my open garage which literally gave him no where to go and he turned to face me. I moved directly into him hitting him as I did an outer leg hook and he went down flat on his back, with the back of his head bouncing off the cement and I pinned him with a knee on his chest and the other on his right arm. I hit him once with my left directly on his cheek bone and I saw his head distort and his head twisted to present the other side which was his left side and I hit him full force twice once in the jaw and another just under his temple and it was over in about 12 seconds from the time I got out of my car. When the police came, even though they knew me, and everything was on my property, they were suspect because I did not have a scratch but the attackers were a complete mess from head to toe.

There is a lot of backstory to this, about the rest of the gang showing up at my house with 25 people and armed up, and the manner I resolved this mess, I actually paid for the hospital bills. And there were police complications as well because I had just taken out these carjackers who had been on their spree for about 7 months and they had some small ties with someone in the local precinct, but the detective in charge said: I guess they picked the wrong guy this time”. Ok everyone survived at that time but here is what happened; the guy in the garage spent 3 months in the hospital for concussion and other complications and came out with his head looking like a watermelon had been hit by a cement truck because his cheek was skewed inward and his jaw was pretty misaligned so that his head was at an angle. I know this because I saw him by accident about 4–5 months afterwards. I learnt that he died several weeks later never fully recovering, but it was never attributed which is very fortunate because it is highly illegal for me to injure someone in an altercation because of my background and assignments. So, please, no assumptions.

Jerry Cotton posted:

"Would you like to sit down little crippled girl?" he asked, in fluent Thuggeese.

Joey Freshwater posted:

He identified with her because they're both crips you see

Applesnots posted:

In the crow story you know it is all stdh because the writer says the father helped the fail crow back into the nest after the first attempt at flight. How the hell would a bird do that? Typically when a bird fails at birding it just sits on the ground and is fed and watched over by the parents until it can fly.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

Is the 5 supposed to be the refund for not putting the extra topping on? Has this person even ordered pizza before in real life?

Verisimilidude posted:

Jerry Cotton posted:

"Would you like to sit down little crippled girl?" he asked, in fluent Thuggeese.

Rahonavis posted:

Look up Wing-Assisted Incline Running.

Zelder posted:

shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: My son is home with cancer, and loves [Anime].

grittyreboot posted:

Why are people so angry about pineapple pizza? People keep posting quotes from celebrity chefs as if that proves some point. Like Gordon Ramsey's opinion makes any difference to how I like my pizza.

Ein cooler Typ posted:

It finally happened! I was approached on the street by two Mormon missionaires! I have been waiting for this moment for five years, and it happened! I had the following conversation:

Him: Hello. We're from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Me: Oh, hi. I love The Book of Mormon!
Him, very flattered: Why, thank you.
Me: The musical!

They walked away.

The General posted:

All my experiences with missionaries suggests that unless the musical is covered in their book there is no way they can turn it into a talking point.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

My experience with them would suggest that they would feign interest in it and invite you to tgeir next prayer group to discuss it. Pretty much nothing besides "this is my bus sorry" or "im calling the police" will make the ones that come to germany leave me alone.

Non Serviam posted:

evangelical Christians that would show up in random corners and play their guitars and sign hymns

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

That's a little less obtrusive than singing them at least.