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Waroduce
Aug 5, 2008

Blind Rasputin posted:

Automated Underwater Tensile Impulse Speed Mitigator.

5

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Duzzy Funlop
Jan 13, 2010

Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Blind Rasputin posted:

Automated Underwater Tensile Impulse Speed Mitigator.

Welcome to my board of directors.

Also, I have openings for any of y'all fools that ever stared at a quart of sea water, or lectured someone that it's not pronounced "FORECASTLE".

Nobles get a signing bonus, but also probationary period, for no reason whatsoever. Failed nobles like me and anyone with a medical separation get a hot personal assistant and stock options.

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



Blind Rasputin posted:

Automated Underwater Tensile Impulse Speed Mitigator.

Submersible Proximity Emergency Reversal Generator

orange juche
Mar 14, 2012



Duzzy Funlop posted:

I'm gonna make mad money designing a one-time use emergency brake for warships. It'll be a high-tensile-strength parachute-type of deal with buoys on the upper edge of the canopy, weights on the bottom for rapid submersion. Attach it to a load bearing point on the stern of the ship and have it be launched by an ASROC-esque system or ASW mortar type of launcher. I'll do marketing for it in some congressional district with heavy reliance on ship-building jobs to build some lobbying power, and then float the product the next time some captain runs his ship aground or into some other poo poo.

All the design will be done internally by then, but I'll repeatedly claim ongoing setbacks and development issues after I've secured the Pentagon contract, artificially inflating my costs forever and a day. I'll put another provision in the contract for longer-than-usual sea trials that require copious amounts of my own employees for maintenance and evaluation because of some proprietary bullshit I'll put in it. I'll also allocate way too little training slots for navy personnel to be authorized to operate the system. After 3 years or so, I'll announce some unforeseen incompatibility of my system with USN ships due to some structural bullshit, but blame it on them for failed disclosure or something.

And in 10 years, when I've already been snorting coke off of hookers asses in the Bahamas for 7 years, the entirety of the most powerful blue water navy on the planet will be proudly sporting my butt-parachutes.

Oh, call the system R.E.T.A.R.D. (N)
I'll make up some bullshit for what it stands for in my first year on the Bahamas while blasted out of my mind.

Checkmate, poors. :smug:

THis is quite literally how contracts work in the DoD i'm pretty sure.

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned
I have a name for the proprietary software you'll need for this

Aquatic Speed Suspension Rapid Arrest Programming Engine

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Blind Rasputin posted:

Automated Underwater Tensile Impulse Speed Mitigator.

Speed-Mediating Deployable Freedom Tickling Balloons

Hot Karl Marx
Mar 16, 2009

Politburo regulations about social distancing require to downgrade your Karlmarxing to cold, and sorry about the dnc primaries, please enjoy!
https://twitter.com/Billbrowder/status/875963384671465473


quote:

The Kremlin rejects the U.S. version of events. Moscow insists that the lawyer died of "heart failure" and that he was the real tax cheat. A Russian court even put him on trial posthumously and found him guilty in 2013. It marked the first time in Russian history that a corpse was successfully prosecuted.

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit
Fart Art Rt T

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004

Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration
Nap Ghost
Rapid Emergency Tether Arrest Reconfigurable Decelerator

Later upgrade models?

Rapid Emergency Tether Arrest Reconfigurable Decelerator (Enhanced Digital Arresting Software Functionality Upgraded Component Kit)

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
What Trump really needs to do is regulate Netflix and Amazon prime.

Make Blockbuster Great Again.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016
Think about it. How many jobs did Netflix and Amazon Prime and Redbox eliminate??

How many??????

mlmp08
Jul 11, 2004

Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration
Nap Ghost

TBeats posted:

Think about it. How many jobs did Netflix and Amazon Prime and Redbox eliminate??

How many??????

And when I open up Netflix and make my selection, it doesn't even tell me how it was really good, but the international version is better.

Nick Soapdish
Apr 27, 2008



I think we have pictures of the trial here.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

The Corpse Synod is one of my favorite historical oddities

Johnny Five-Jaces
Jan 21, 2009


Duzzy Funlop posted:

Also, I have openings for any of y'all fools that ever stared at a quart of sea water, or lectured someone that it's not pronounced "FORECASTLE".

I'll curate the wiki

BUG JUG
Feb 17, 2005



As a failed noble I will gladly take some sweet sweet government cash to tell SMEs they are wrong and their experience is irrelevant.

psydude
Apr 1, 2008

Towering Inferno total now up to 58 presumed dead, making it deadlier than the 2005 London tube bombings.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

TBeats posted:

What Trump really needs to do is regulate Netflix and Amazon prime.

Make Blockbuster Great Again.

Yeah, the GOP is trying to do this via net neutrality.

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 28, 2008

psydude posted:

Towering Inferno total now up to 58 presumed dead, making it deadlier than the 2005 London tube bombings.

Have the authorities released a count of how many people actually made it out or have otherwise been accounted for? Seems to me that the toll could go up to the hundreds based on how devastating the fire was.

psydude
Apr 1, 2008

suboptimal posted:

Have the authorities released a count of how many people actually made it out or have otherwise been accounted for? Seems to me that the toll could go up to the hundreds based on how devastating the fire was.

There's still quite a few people missing.

Which means they're dead.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur
I'm waiting for the false flag claim and pictures of the victims being used in context of other, future false flag events.

Smiling Jack
Dec 2, 2001

I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

If public housing in London is anything like NYC there were a ton of unregistered tenants living there with friends / relatives.

I still expect the actual body count to hit triple digits.

psydude
Apr 1, 2008

Surprise, surprise. Donnie's been profiting off of his properties he's been visiting the most while in office.

quote:

Properties that Trump frequently visited as president saw the largest boost in income. Trump claimed more than $37 million in income from Mar-a-Lago, the Palm Beach County resort in Florida he described as his “Winter White House,” as well as $20 million in income from the nearby golf club he owns in Jupiter, Florida. His claimed Mar-a-Lago income rose rapidly since his last two financial disclosures with the FEC: Trump reported more than $15 million in income from the resort in the 2015 report, followed by $29 million in the 2016 version.

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/06/donald-trump-reports-hes-getting-rich-off-the-presidency/530718/

Sexual Lorax
Mar 17, 2004

HERE'S TO FUCKING


Fun Shoe
be nice if congress decided not to pay trump holdings whatever ltd for the services performed because trumps presidency wasnt up to the standards they expect then hold him up in court until he walks from that money out of frustration

FastestGunAlive
Apr 7, 2010

Dancing palm tree.

LITERALLY SHAKING posted:

I'm waiting for the false flag claim and pictures of the victims being used in context of other, future false flag events.

Haven't seen false flag yet but I've seen comparisons of this not collapsing against the twin towers collapsing on fb....

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?

mlmp08 posted:

Rapid Emergency Tether Arrest Reconfigurable Decelerator

Later upgrade models?

Rapid Emergency Tether Arrest Reconfigurable Decelerator (Enhanced Digital Arresting Software Functionality Upgraded Component Kit)

Automated Safety Precaution: Emergency RetroGrade Expedited Reduction System

We can also market an airbag that can go in front of the ship designed to be placed on any class of vessel.

Forward Universal Collision Kludge for Unavoidable Prangs

Blind Rasputin
Nov 25, 2002

Farewell, good Hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world.

This is a funny and creative detail but I always wondered about if a destroyer or something was going 30 knots and dropped all their anchors and they hit pay dirt if they just would slam to a stop and it's be badass. In the Fitzgerald case I think they should've fired on the incoming vessel to soften it up and decrease the damage they were about to take.

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?

Blind Rasputin posted:

This is a funny and creative detail but I always wondered about if a destroyer or something was going 30 knots and dropped all their anchors and they hit pay dirt if they just would slam to a stop and it's be badass. In the Fitzgerald case I think they should've fired on the incoming vessel to soften it up and decrease the damage they were about to take.

You're putting a lot of faith in the strength of those anchor chains.

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Blind Rasputin posted:

This is a funny and creative detail but I always wondered about if a destroyer or something was going 30 knots and dropped all their anchors and they hit pay dirt if they just would slam to a stop and it's be badass. In the Fitzgerald case I think they should've fired on the incoming vessel to soften it up and decrease the damage they were about to take.

I believe the Captain Sparrow of the HMS Swallow pulled a maneuver like that off once.

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

psydude posted:

Surprise, surprise. Donnie's been profiting off of his properties he's been visiting the most while in office.


https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/06/donald-trump-reports-hes-getting-rich-off-the-presidency/530718/

Trump Adult Diaper Co stock went up like 1000%

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Blind Rasputin posted:

In the Fitzgerald case I think they should've fired on the incoming vessel to soften it up and decrease the damage they were about to take.

"We felt threatened"

edit: I'll see myself out

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 28, 2008

Hey, here's some good news- Sheriff Shithead David Clarke is withdrawing from that DHS position that was offered to him.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...m=.5dec2ee0f53e

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp

Zeris posted:

"We felt threatened"

edit: I'll see myself out

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

"They're coming right for us!"

Proud Christian Mom
Dec 20, 2006
READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD
It was dark, they were driving erratically

SwampDonkey
Oct 13, 2006

by Smythe

(and can't post for 4 years!)

suboptimal posted:

Hey, here's some good news- Sheriff Shithead David Clarke is withdrawing from that DHS position that was offered to him.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2017/06/17/milwaukee-sheriff-david-clarke-rescinds-acceptance-of-homeland-security-post/

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Blind Rasputin posted:

This is a funny and creative detail but I always wondered about if a destroyer or something was going 30 knots and dropped all their anchors and they hit pay dirt if they just would slam to a stop and it's be badass. In the Fitzgerald case I think they should've fired on the incoming vessel to soften it up and decrease the damage they were about to take.

Destroyers are nimble as gently caress and do not need that to stop quickly. That would just gently caress the ship up severely more than anything else.

They were probably running on a single shaft which makes it a bit easier to maneuver.

Piell
Sep 3, 2006

Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer


Young Orc

Blind Rasputin posted:

This is a funny and creative detail but I always wondered about if a destroyer or something was going 30 knots and dropped all their anchors and they hit pay dirt if they just would slam to a stop and it's be badass.

Of course that wouldn't happen. They'd drift.

Comrade Blyatlov
Aug 4, 2007


should have picked four fingers





Blind Rasputin posted:

This is a funny and creative detail but I always wondered about if a destroyer or something was going 30 knots and dropped all their anchors and they hit pay dirt if they just would slam to a stop and it's be badass. In the Fitzgerald case I think they should've fired on the incoming vessel to soften it up and decrease the damage they were about to take.

Chain is designed to detach rather than take the winches overboard

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



I won't go into the specifics because they're classified iirc, but ddgs can take all way off the ship with a loving quickness. It's incredible what you can do with all the engines online.


This was 2:30 am transit, though. They certainly weren't running full bore and the OOD wasn't paying enough attention to bring offline engines up anyways. I reaaaaaally wanna see that sitrep.

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Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

c-spam cannot afford



Two Finger posted:

Chain is designed to detach rather than take the winches overboard

Also this. There's a huge loving bolt holding the chain on, but if the chain gets running it's loving gone.

Here's the Tarawa dropping their anchor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7pRfix_sNg

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