- little munchkin
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the sun glints off the blade of my sword as I swing it through the air. you can tell that I'm a person you don't really want to mess with, when I have my sword on me
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Jun 25, 2017 04:49
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- Adbot
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May 13, 2024 07:21
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- Macnult
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i twirl my sword outwards, then inwards, following it up with a move allowing it to rest underneath my armpit before i do the same motion again
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Jun 25, 2017 04:58
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- vanisher
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Heh, same. Although 'my sword' is what I call my junk, and I normally look intimidating swinging it around at those public trough urinals.
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Jun 25, 2017 05:12
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- Darkman Fanpage
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my japanese steel slices through the air effortlessly. i like to imagine there is a man standing in front of me. lets call him derek, who is not a stand in for my childhood bully who was not named derek. suffice to say that derek is dispatched by my graceful wielding of my magnificent blade. i often feel that i was born in the wrong time and continent. if i had been born in nippon (that is japanese for japan) in the 1600s i would have been a samurai.
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Jun 25, 2017 05:40
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- Macnult
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swords are not intimidating if you're a good enough ninja
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Jun 25, 2017 05:52
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- Ultra Spoot
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What I think i'm doing: my intense daily sword training workout which i use to keep my body perfectly toned to deal with enemies such as my rear end in a top hat dad or mean trolls online
What i'm actually doing: flailing my sword and nerd body around wildly while half humming the sephiroth theme and singing "SEPHIROTH!!!" real loudly every time it gets to that part of the song
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Jun 25, 2017 10:05
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- Starshark
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Can this thread be about nerds with false perceptions of how they must look?
Last year at a con I saw this big dumpy looking guy, greasy, smelled bad, fat as hell, and on top of all of those thing he was wearing a shirt that his stomach was hanging out of and I swear it said-
"MAN CAVE- NO WOMEN, NO PROBLEMS!"
I went to a Marilyn Manson concert when he was on his way out and there was a pale redhead kid wearing goth make-up which made him look like a corn stalk with eyeliner.
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Jun 25, 2017 12:13
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- little munchkin
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Can this thread be about nerds with false perceptions of how they must look?
Last year at a con I saw this big dumpy looking guy, greasy, smelled bad, fat as hell, and on top of all of those thing he was wearing a shirt that his stomach was hanging out of and I swear it said-
"MAN CAVE- NO WOMEN, NO PROBLEMS!"
no, your posts should be about your sword technique and how it's apparent that you could kill on a moments notice
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jun 25, 2017 13:00
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- Slush Garbo
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FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
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I'm the strong silent type, I don't care to attract much attention or show off. That's why I just leave my pair of 5' claymore broadswords strapped to my back at all times
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Jun 25, 2017 16:38
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- Pot Smoke Phoenix
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Smoke 'em if you gottem!
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I unsheath my sword, revelling in the sound it makes as the steel slides out of the custom made scabbard. I re-sheath my blade, again marvelling at the pure sound of steel on the oil soaked wool that lines the inside of the scabbard. I pull the blade free again, listening closely to the steel gliding over the wool which has been meticulously soaked in the rust-preventing, blade preserving oil. I consider the smith who forged my blade as I am now re-sheathing my marvelously forged steel blade, it's edge glistening in the early morning sun as it disappears back into the sheath.
He heats the blade, hammering it over and over again, folding the steel upon itself, his hammer hitting the anvil one time for every three times it strikes the red-hot steel, which is even now sliding either into or out of the sheath, depending on whether or not I was drawing or re-sheathing it as I consider the smith who forged my blade. This will be how my enemies find me, pulling out my blade and then re-sheathing it, the sound of the steel sliding over the wool which is soaked in the precious preserving oil. Will I be ready? Just one more re-sheathing and I will join the battle in earnest! I must re-sheath it, to make sure it is properly coated in oil. Just one more time...
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!
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Jun 25, 2017 17:07
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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i do moves as if I'm holding a sword., my enemies are confused. perhaps i have an invisible sword
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jun 25, 2017 17:40
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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"listen, buddy" i point to my hip, "this is where my sword would be, if i had my sword on me right now, which you're lucky i don't. but i could go get it at any time, because i have these" i show him my car keys and flip them gracefully from hand to hand
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jun 25, 2017 17:41
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- little munchkin
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"listen, buddy" i point to my hip, "this is where my sword would be, if i had my sword on me right now, which you're lucky i don't. but i could go get it at any time, because i have these" i show him my car keys and flip them gracefully from hand to hand
looking intimidating as I jingle my keys
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jun 25, 2017 18:12
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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i insert the key and turn it in over swift, smooth motion. it's back in my pocket before she even notices. to her untrained perception, it appears as if the door swings open on its own, revealing my my museum of blades. "welcome to The Swordaterium, my lady," I say with a bow
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Jun 25, 2017 19:40
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- FactsAreUseless
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I swing my sword around. I swing it right round, baby, right round. Like a record, baby. My enemies flee.
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Jun 25, 2017 19:47
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- HaveARottenDay
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I stand steadfast at the edge of a rocky cliff side with the endless ocean before me. My eyes are closed. Sword in both hands pointed skyward, I begin to slowly lower my arms until the tip of the blade is face level. The meditation breaks, eyes blink open with a fiery stare. Quickly, I turn to face the enemy as my long raven-black hair is flowing in the howling wind.
I lower my stance in a form that strikes a perfect balance between aggressiveness and deadly calm. The sword now arched above my lowered visage ready to deflect any incoming blow. I speak "Kevin stop leaving the toilet paper on the roll holder you idiot!"
Intimidated so hard by me, the bastard runs.
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Jun 25, 2017 23:55
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- Petr
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liberals want to pass sword control because they love guns
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jun 26, 2017 01:58
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- Putty
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HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
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Only the ones who are as mentally honed as their swords can perform the wobbly pencil trick with their blades to a perfection.
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Jun 26, 2017 02:24
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- Petr
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*swings a noodle around* my sword is a grower not a shower
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jun 26, 2017 02:42
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- little munchkin
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a lot of people think swords are lame and only for dudes who wear fedoras. those people are actually thinking of katanas, which are different from swords. swords are incredibly dangerous
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jun 26, 2017 02:46
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- Felonious Batman
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I put on my robe and wizard hat.
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Jun 26, 2017 03:21
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- Darkman Fanpage
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people say never bring a knife to a gun fight. well that's okay because i'm bringing a sword, which is not a knife.
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Jun 26, 2017 04:03
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- FutonForensic
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i press a button on a the audio system control. "Africa" by Toto starts blaring in surround sound. i'm methodically moving about the room with the blade, in a manner that's cool & fresh, yet distinctly Bushido in style. Bobby Kimball starts blaring on the refrain. in one swift motion, i cut down mom's Precious Memories figurines like so much chaff. i am a warrior
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Jun 26, 2017 06:19
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- Ultra Spoot
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Every time i have to write something down while other people are around, i do sword moves with the pen first. This lets people know i could kill tuem at any moment and that i'm basically john wick times a billion
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Jun 26, 2017 07:07
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- Petr
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Every time i have to write something down while other people are around, i do sword moves with the pen first. This lets people know i could kill tuem at any moment and that i'm basically john wick times a billion
Scrub-level. I do all my writing with my sword.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jun 26, 2017 07:11
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- Ultra Spoot
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Scrub-level. I do all my writing with my sword.
So do we have a writing duel or an actual sword duel now, not sure what the policy is here
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Jun 26, 2017 07:56
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- Petr
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So do we have a writing duel or an actual sword duel now, not sure what the policy is here
Swords first, then upgrade to pens if no winner.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jun 26, 2017 08:17
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- yeah actually they will
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me practicing my sword moves in the mirror: Jack's BACK... Jack's Back... JAck's Back... Jack's BAck... JACK'S back...
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Jun 26, 2017 17:23
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- Darkman Fanpage
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me practicing my sword moves in the mirror: Jack's BACK... Jack's Back... JAck's Back... Jack's BAck... JACK'S back...
let 'er rip
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Jun 26, 2017 19:20
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- alnilam
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*points sword at u in an overhand stance*
*puts other hand forward and does th e Neo "come at me" hand flick thing*
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Jun 26, 2017 20:33
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- Adbot
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May 13, 2024 07:21
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