/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

PleasingFungus posted:

I'd agree if the bride/groom had apologized for the mistake, but it sounds like they weren't apologizing, just going "oh, you can bring your 'girlfriend' if you really must." I don't think the OP is crazy for feeling unwanted there!

the great thing about america is you're entitled to your opinion even if it's dumb.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 05:00

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# ? May 23, 2024 12:01

Nessa: Dec 15, 2008

blackmet posted:

This is a reply to the 2nd post from the same lady.

Can't you just be lesbian and happy?

This reads just like one of those insane incel posts.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 07:33

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

blackmet posted:

This is a reply to the 2nd post from the same lady.

Can't you just be lesbian and happy?

I remember this. It's from that blog with a rant about how if you're a lesbian who won't sleep with pre-op trans women, you're a bigot.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 07:38

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

La Brea Carpet posted:

I'm[24F] starting to think my boyfriend[28M] was lying about being a government spy

He's Bill Paxton (RIP in Peace) from True Lies

# ? Jun 25, 2017 07:52

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO: Feb 28, 1985

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

I remember this. It's from that blog with a rant about how if you're a lesbian who won't sleep with pre-op trans women, you're a bigot.

That argument captures the zeitgeist perfectly.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 09:04

HoAssHo: Mar 10, 2005

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

I remember this. It's from that blog with a rant about how if you're a lesbian who won't sleep with pre-op trans women, you're a bigot.

There are many more than one blog with such a rant.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 09:24

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Everything annoys me(F21). How can I stop being this way?

quote:

Hi Reddit. So for years now (I specifically remember this starting when I was 18) I have had this problem where things that should not annoy me do, to the point of disgust. I hate hearing yawning, humming, sighing, and snoring is the worst. I hate when people sing to themselves. I hate when people make audible noises that aren't necessary to speech. I hate hearing couples giggle ugh. I hate any repetitive noises. I hate when people pronounce words in stupid ways. I loving hate when people burp outloud. I hate when people clear their throat. I hate when people breathe too loud. These things annoy me a lot more when my family or friends do it, but it bothers me a lot when strangers do it too. I get so mad and disgusted that I have to leave the room immediately. I feel terrible because they haven't done anything wrong and they know I'm upset. I just loving hate these noises so much that I cannot help it. I constantly feel this way and it is hard for me to get distracted from it. I am on edge when around others all the time, and feel much less disgusted/annoyed when I'm alone.

What is this and how can I overcome this? It's ruining my relationships with people.

Edit: I should probably mention that the only person who doesn't annoy me by doing any of these things is my boyfriend (M23) of 4+ years, so it's not affecting my relationship with him

TL;DR pretty much all noises annoy me and my relationships are being ruined as a consequence. I hate feeling this way and need to change. Help.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 11:57

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

I'm a few pages late but that girl driving the speed limit in the passing lane was either an amazing troll or a person that I would drag out of their car and light on fire in the breakdown lane.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 11:58

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

Here's a feel good story to help you enjoy your Sunday funday

Is the way my (23F) boyfriend of two years (32M) treats me normal?

quote:

My boyfriend has communication issues. It's not that he doesn't communicate much, but he doesn't communicate at all.

Sometimes he'll come home angry or frustrated at something. I'll say hello and he'll just ignore me. I ask him if something is wrong. He ignores me. I'll ask him if I did something wrong? Usually more ignoring. But last night he just told me to go away.

He ignores me a lot. He denies it, but has a pretty funny definition of ignoring. To him ignoring is not hearing someone, so, since he heard me, it's not ignoring. It's just "he has nothing to say" or, my favorite, what I say "doesn't merit a response." This happens OFTEN. He expects me to listen about his work or hobbies, but he ignores or cuts me off when I talk about mine.

Yesterday I approached him a couple hours after one of these episodes, telling him the way he treats me isn't normal. I tell him that if he wants to be alone, say "I want to be alone" instead of ignoring me or saying "go away." He asks why. I tell him because it's not nice and it's disrespectful. He says he doesn't have to be respectful or nice.

Today he talked to me like normal. I told him I was still upset with him for saying he doesn't have to respect/be nice to me. He says that was my interpretation. It wasn't, it was verbatim. He concedes and says "I wanted to be alone."

He's really good at making me feel like I'm over reacting or being crazy. I feel like that one crazy girlfriend that's always freaking out over dishes or something.

TL;DR: My boyfriend ignores me and tells me to go away. He's making me feel crazy for being upset about it.

quote:

I'd rather be alone at this point. Thought I admit it's very hard, since I don't have any friends. Leaving him would leave me completely alone.

quote:

Honestly? Because I'm lonely and people don't like me. I know that's not a good excuse, but I've been alone all my life. It's not fun.

quote:

Probably. I think he's on the spectrum AND an rear end in a top hat.
Honestly, there is nothing to do around here. I look all the time, but the only social groups seem to be mommy or religious groups.
I'm starting school soon, but I still have to work full time, so that probably won't help me socially. I grew up very isolated and really never had friends. I just don't think it's in me.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 12:05

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

OK one more. This one will make you appreciate "at-will" employment

Me 39F with my 44M Depressed Colleague who has accused me of bullying him

quote:

I manage a team of 12 people and last year had a 13th member added when other managers refused to deal with him any longer. He is diagnosed with depression and generalised anxiety disorder. He is morbidly obese and suffers from muscular skeletal problems related to the obesity and diabetes.

When they came to me it was because I have helped other mentally ill staff members and I was happy to take them on as I felt I could help them. We did make progress and steadily increased their level of work. It has never reached the level considered acceptable but I made accommodations to relieve pressure, hoping this would lead to a sustained long term improvement. I sought out equipment to help them be more physically comfortable given their obesity. I felt we were making progress.

Unfortunately they committed a serious breach of security (sent out personal information to someone not legally entitled to have it) and I had to place them on formal disciplinary action. Since then they have been on sick leave for over 3 months. They are now subject to attendance management procedures and have reached out to a local mental health group and advised them that I have bullied and harassed them. This bullying and harassment has (according to them) has made it impossible for them to return to work. I have documented evidence that this is not true, when they were told they needed to move away from me for health and safety reasons they became very distressed and demanded to stay with me for 'Mental Health' reasons. I have signed documentation where they state I am supportive and they don't want the 'reasonable accommodations' I have offered (shorter days, fewer days, longer breaks etc)

I have a meeting with them and their support workers from the mental health group and I have no idea how to handle this. So how do I handle it? I can prove they are lying and they have a pattern of lying to get themselves out of trouble. I have no concerns about my bosses because they are well aware that this is an utterly unfounded allegation. My worry is that they are completely unsuited to the job and because they point blank refuse to acknowledge they are in any way responsible for the mistakes they are making it is impossible to correct them.

TLDR Have been accused of bullying when I haven't

probably should have just bolded the entire poo poo show. what is the bullying and harassment this goon claims?

quote:

He believes that by pointing out his security breach and sub standard level of work I have bullied him. He doesn't allege that he isn't doing this just that by expecting more I am bullying and harassing him. I am making allowances, for example other members of staff are expected to deal with approximately 16 cases a day accurately. I am happy for him to do 2 if he does them right. Unfortunately he can do 2 cases but not correctly. Unfortunately by allowing him to work at a slower pace he believes that he should be allowed the same scope of error that someone who is working 16 cases and as such he is being bullied by expecting him to get his 2 cases 100% right when someone who is working 16 cases has an allowance for minor errors.

See this is why we need :capitalism:

Despite all its flaws, people like this end up where they deserve. Homeless.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 12:26

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

DOMDOM posted:

OK one more. This one will make you appreciate "at-will" employment

Me 39F with my 44M Depressed Colleague who has accused me of bullying him

probably should have just bolded the entire poo poo show. what is the bullying and harassment this goon claims?

See this is why we need

Despite all its flaws, people like this end up where they deserve. Homeless.

Right to work isn't going to do poo poo for this woman except take her down with him

quote:

Yeah HR's response is basically "Fire him but don't leave us open to a lawsuit" It is not helpful because I don't want to fire him. He is Yeah HR's response is basically "Fire him but don't leave us open to a lawsuit" It is not helpful because I don't want to fire him. He is not currently in a position to do his job to the standard required but I don't want to detrimentally impact his future. He won't resign for health reasons as he feels it will prevent him getting another job and HR want him gone without actually doing anything. I'm stuck in the middle because as manipulative as his metal health issues are they are real.not currently in a position to do his job to the standard required but I don't want to detrimentally impact his future. He won't resign for health reasons as he feels it will prevent him getting another job and HR want him gone without actually doing anything. I'm stuck in the middle because as manipulative as his metal health issues are they are real.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 12:54

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

DOMDOM posted:

OK one more. This one will make you appreciate "at-will" employment

Me 39F with my 44M Depressed Colleague who has accused me of bullying him

probably should have just bolded the entire poo poo show. what is the bullying and harassment this goon claims?

See this is why we need

Despite all its flaws, people like this end up where they deserve. Homeless.

Nobody deserves to be homeless and dude probably has serious issues namaste

# ? Jun 25, 2017 13:11

DJ Fuckboy Supreme: Feb 10, 2011; And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Right to work isn't going to do poo poo for this woman except take her down with him

judging by that quote the dude's mental health issues are contagious

# ? Jun 25, 2017 13:41

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

DOMDOM posted:

Everything annoys me(F21). How can I stop being this way?

I feel like I've heard of a legit mental condition where these kinds of noises really bother someone.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 14:00

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

misophonia, another legit condition that no one will every take seriously again because whiny internet sadsacks with nothing going on in their lives appropriated it. mostly childfree idiots who think they have it because they don't like that kids can make loud noises

# ? Jun 25, 2017 14:55

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

La Brea Carpet posted:

I'm[24F] starting to think my boyfriend[28M] was lying about being a government spy

Two days ago, I saw him sitting in Barnes and Noble reading The Handmaids Tale wearing the same suit he left in. So obviously he never even left town and might even be hiding out in bookstores??

Or maybe he's unemployed, has been living off credit cards, and is going to murder you.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 15:12

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Right to work isn't going to do poo poo for this woman except take her down with him

Dude needs to file for disability. His workplace is making accommodations to work around his health and mental issues, even though he cannot perform the job as needed. Plus, he needs to apply yesterday to get grandfathered in before safety net cuts take place. As a bonus, the free/cheap health and mental care he would gain access to (along with the time to use it) might allow him to sort his poo poo out eventually.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 15:12

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Me [25 M] with my girlfriend [19 F] 1 week, Why she leaving her panties?

quote:

She asked if i wanted her panties, i politely refused it, but she insisted to leave it. At this point she left about 4.. Why?

tl;dr: Reasons you left your panties and why?

Posting this one because of the tl;dr on a one line post.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 15:20

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

this is bizzare

My [24M] recently deceased father [56M] told my mother [60F] that he wouldn't like me to go to his funeral, and I don't know why. Now the entire family hates me.

quote:

Sorry if I ramble a bit. My emotions are everywhere and I am really stressed and depressed.

So last week my dad unfortunately passed away from a heart attack. Since then, I've seen my mom twice. First time - at their house to comfort her, and second time at my house. Haven't directly contacted her since.

At my house, we were talking about Dad, and then I brought up having to plan the funeral. This is where she told me that my dad told her a few months ago that when he died, he wouldn't want me at his funeral.

I was really shocked and upset, and asked my mom why. She said that she didn't know because he didn't go into much detail, but he made it very clear that I wasn't to go.

My shock turned to anger because of the absurdity of what she was saying. My dad and I always had a fairly normal relationship. Admittedly, we had a few arguments but what father-son don't? Also they were always solved, and they were never serious enough to constitute me being banned from his funeral. Hell, the last time I saw him (2 weeks ago) we had a friendly conversation and ended hugging each other goodbye.

In my rage, I told Mom that she had to leave. This really upset her, but at the time I wasn't thinking straight.

I spent the rest of that day crying in bed with my phone on silent.

The next day, I finally answered the phone to a call from my sister [F26] who was furious that I hadn't picked up the day before, and also that I kicked my mourning Mom out of my house. She also was furious because she had been told that I had been 'banned' from the funeral, and assumed I must have done something terrible.

I explained that I had no idea why Dad would say that, but that just made her think that I had something to hide. She said that she spoke on behalf of the entire family when she said that I wasn't welcome at the funeral until I came clean about what I had done to make dad 'hate' me.

I argued with her on the phone for at least 15 minutes until she hung up on me.

Now, none of the family want to speak to me. They all think that I've done something terrible in order for my dad to specifically have said I wasn't invited to the funeral. The fact that I am unable to say what I did (because I have no idea) just makes them think that I've done something unspeakable.

The funeral is this Wednesday. Since I wasn't officially banned from the funeral, I am legally able to go, but my family won't welcome me and I'll probably just make things worse. However, at the same time, I really want to pay my respects to my dad.

What can/should I do? This is so difficult, especially in this terrible time.

TL;DR: My late father, who I thought I had a nice relationship with, allegedly said he didn't want me at his funeral, and now the family hates me.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 15:29

The Ferret King: Nov 23, 2003; cluck cluck

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

this is bizzare

My [24M] recently deceased father [56M] told my mother [60F] that he wouldn't like me to go to his funeral, and I don't know why. Now the entire family hates me.

Son's gay. So what.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 15:53

ymgve: Jan 2, 2004; Offensive Clock

Spy dude is probably into something shady, because he tried to avoid talking about what he did for work. I assume any pretend spy would use "I'm totally a spy, fully James Bond poo poo and all that" as their pickup line and never stop talking about their pretend awesomeness.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 15:53

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

this is bizzare

My [24M] recently deceased father [56M] told my mother [60F] that he wouldn't like me to go to his funeral, and I don't know why. Now the entire family hates me.

If a heart attack at 56 is so imminent that you have plans for your funeral already (including banning your son from going) then there is some other serious medical condition at work. If so, what? He doesn't say that the death was unexpected, which you'd think he'd at least mention.

It's either A) we aren't getting the full story, B) Dad was having some other complicating mental issues, or C) grieving mom's brain was playing tricks on her and things spiraled out of control.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 15:58

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

Reddit suspects a dire plot to build a case that he should be excluded from inheritance but idk if that's even possible

# ? Jun 25, 2017 16:02

Automatonic Water: Jul 8, 2012; dig thru the ditches
and burn thru the witches
and slam in the back of my.........
.........DRAGULA; Yams Fan

Mom definitely hates him and saw this as the prime opportunity to push him out of the family without making herself at fault for anything

# ? Jun 25, 2017 16:03

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

A death in the family brings out the best in everyone.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 16:04

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

The girl (F19) who I'm into grabbed my (M23) rear end... (self.dating_advice)

quote:

So I've met this girl just before Christmas when she was in a relationship and I really like her but I'd back off because she was happily with someone. We chat a lot and she smiles when she sees me. She's recently back from university and also recently single. Very recently.

I expect she needs a cooling off period and I want to give her that but also I want her to know I'm interested. She's also been a bit more touchy feely than she was before Xmas e.g. Put her hands on my hips to move me out the way and today she grabbed my arse.

Common sense tells me that she like my but I'm not sure how to go about seeing if she's ready or looking for something again.

I'm tempered to ask her on a date... right or wrong?

Thanks in advance guys

/r/dating_advice is like the diet coke of /r/relationships

# ? Jun 25, 2017 16:05

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

maskenfreiheit posted:

The girl (F19) who I'm into grabbed my (M23) rear end... (self.dating_advice)

/r/dating_advice is like the diet coke of /r/relationships

More like zero-calorie caffine-free.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 16:11

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Automatonic Water posted:

Mom definitely hates him and saw this as the prime opportunity to push him out of the family without making herself at fault for anything

Given what we have to work with, yeah, I'm going with the mother made it up.

If you don't want someone at your funeral, you don't make it a secret, only telling one person, you make drat sure to tell everyone, "And make sure my useless son doesn't attend!"

# ? Jun 25, 2017 16:12

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

Guy's dad was the ultimate prankster and is just waiting up in heaven for his wife and son to die so he can tell them how much he owned them.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 16:15

Literally A Person: Jan 1, 1970; Smugworth Wuz Here

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

Guy's dad was the ultimate prankster and is just waiting up in heaven for his wife and son to die so he can tell them how much he owned them.

Youtube has ruined the Earth.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 16:18

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Maybe it was more along the lines of, "honey, I can't stand the thought of our son at my funeral...urk!" He had his heart attack before he could finish, "because he's so important to me and I don't want him to see his father laying there, dead and cold. He's such a good boy." :qq:

# ? Jun 25, 2017 16:42

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My[21M] girlfriend[21F] was lying about being addicted to kettle corn

quote:

Hi again. I hope it's okay that I'm not posting this as an update post, because now I face an entirely new problem. I previously posted because I was seriously worried about my girlfriend of 3 years: she was only eating boom chicka pop kettle corn, I found her hoarding it, stealing it from my roommate, and it progressed to the point that she was bringing baggies of it out to dinner.

Many of you suggested she would benefit from therapy and many of the comments validated my concerns that something was very wrong and she needed help immediately. But then some comments started coming in saying how physically and mentally she would already be deteriorating from only eating popcorn. And yeah, she's lost weight which is why I was a little concerned. But her energy and appearance has otherwise been normal.

Maybe even better than usual. So I started to wonder if maybe she was eating other food when not around me.
I then started to wonder if my roommate knew. He was taking her on all these Costco trips, they were eating popcorn alone in his room all the time, I'd caught her sneaking into his room all the time. So I asked him if he thought my girlfriend could be eating food other than popcorn when she wasn't with me. I mentioned again, how serious this could be for her health and that I needed him to be honest with him. He shrugged me off.

So my girlfriend comes over and when she went to bed I read her text messages. The last one my roommate had sent her was "he's getting weird, I think he knows"

So long story short, my girlfriend was loving my roommate and did walk in on them once, but my girlfriend claimed to be looking for popcorn. That's where the whole "costco kettle corn obsession" thing started. There were messages about how stupid I was buy the lies and messages with all our friends talking about how hilarious the kettle corn addiction was and how they couldn't believe I was falling for it.

She's still asleep in my bed. I don't even know what to do. I'm floored that she could actually do something like this. She's never been anything but kind and generous and has absolutely no history of pulling poo poo like this.

She volunteers at nursing homes and animal shelters if that tells you anything about the kind of person I thought she was.

I don't know what to do about my roommate or the rest of my friends. Apparently I don't have any since they were all laughing behind my back that my girlfriend was cheating on me and telling me she had a kettle corn
addiction.

tl;dr: girlfriend pretended to be addicted to kettle corn but was really just loving my roommate

# ? Jun 25, 2017 16:43

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

La Brea Carpet posted:

My[21M] girlfriend[21F] was lying about being addicted to kettle corn

[snip]
So long story short, my girlfriend was loving my roommate and did walk in on them once, but my girlfriend claimed to be looking for popcorn. That's where the whole "costco kettle corn obsession" thing started. There were messages about how stupid I was buy the lies and messages with all our friends talking about how hilarious the kettle corn addiction was and how they couldn't believe I was falling for it.

They're not wrong.

maskenfreiheit fucked around with this message at 17:11 on Jun 25, 2017

# ? Jun 25, 2017 17:00

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Pvt.Scott posted:

Maybe it was more along the lines of, "honey, I can't stand the thought of our son at my funeral...urk!" He had his heart attack before he could finish, "because he's so important to me and I don't want him to see his father laying there, dead and cold. He's such a good boy."

This or the mom making it up/misremembering/repeating something he said while angry after an argument a while ago are the most likely things to me. Especially if they were buds two weeks ago.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 17:00

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

He Doesn't Love His Living Gay Son

# ? Jun 25, 2017 17:05

The Lobotomy Kid: Aug 27, 2011; and act like a nut.

La Brea Carpet posted:

My[21M] girlfriend[21F] was lying about being addicted to kettle corn

OP should stay with her and force her to eat popcorn with every meal.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 17:09

Barudak: May 7, 2007

La Brea Carpet posted:

My[21M] girlfriend[21F] was lying about being addicted to kettle corn

This whole thing is incredible and I cant believe he is stupid enough to fall for it, and then post to tell everyone the update of how hes that stupid.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 17:15

Hello Ketene: Dec 30, 2011

La Brea Carpet posted:

My[21M] girlfriend[21F] was lying about being addicted to kettle corn

lmao the only sensible answer is :murder:

by kettle corn overdose

e: also yeah hahaha loving hell how can you be so oblivious?

# ? Jun 25, 2017 17:27

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Esoteric Scientist posted:

lmao the only sensible answer is by kettle corn overdose

e: also yeah hahaha loving hell how can you be so oblivious?

The Corn of Amontakettle.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 17:35

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# ? May 23, 2024 12:01

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

I wonder if there's a way to turn this back on them by being aggressively stupid about the kettle corn thing. Like more than already

# ? Jun 25, 2017 17:53

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