I still really like the Transformers movies

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Azubah: Jun 5, 2007

RedSpider posted:

So Marky Mark is gonna bone Quintessa's human form in the next one, correct?

I thought he quit?

# ? Jun 26, 2017 02:57

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# ? May 10, 2024 02:42

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

RedSpider posted:

So Marky Mark is gonna bone Quintessa's human form in the next one, correct?

I think Marky Mark and Bay have both said they're out.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 03:13

Bugblatter: Aug 4, 2003

Milky Moor posted:

I think Marky Mark and Bay have both said they're out.

Marky Mark said that but then a day later said maybe not. Bay has said every one of these since the second is his last.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 03:25

ungulateman: Apr 18, 2012; pretentious fuckwit who isn't half as literate or insightful or clever as he thinks he is

Big fan of one of the weapons the autobots use being actual literal slow mo

# ? Jun 26, 2017 04:51

Ramadu: Aug 25, 2004; 2015 NFL MVP

is there a summary of the story for this newest masterpiece because i keep hearing things that don't sound believable and couldn't possibly be in a movie and the previews I saw are incoherent and don't make sense

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:40

JediTalentAgent: Jun 5, 2005; Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

There was a part of me that was sincerely hoping that in AoE the human-built transformers would actually have mattered or something to the mythos after the death of Cybertron/our Home Is Earth stuff from Dark of the Moon.

"You know, it might actually be interesting if these human-built drones actually ended up doing something amazing like having self-generated sparks that unintentionally developed which resulted in them becoming sentient." If we'd gotten something like Hot Rod, the Dinobots, etc. as 'Non-Cybertronian Transformers" who would be sort of possibly viewed as either abominations or the last hope/next phase of the Cybertronian species, that had much different and more humanized attitudes and personalities from the rest of the Bots and Cons due to their almost entirely human interactions, age and lack of millions of years of a civil war, it could have maybe been an interesting addition to the franchise for the rest of the series as it goes on.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 06:19

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

Ramadu posted:

is there a summary of the story for this newest masterpiece because i keep hearing things that don't sound believable and couldn't possibly be in a movie and the previews I saw are incoherent and don't make sense

The film opens in the Dark Ages. King Arthur and his knights are under assault of a barbarian horde who look like something of Warhammer Fantasy. Arthur is sure that Merlin will bring great magics to help his knights but, really, it looks like the end is here.

Merlin is running about, drinking out of a glass bottle, until he finds a starship crashed in a mountainside. There, he finds the Knights of Cybertron. Merlin, who is played by Stanley Tucci, basically throws himself down before them, calling himself a cheater, a liar and all these terrible things but tells the Transformers that if Arthur and his people lose then it'll the end of everything, an age of darkness. The Knights of Cybertron grant him a staff and then turn into a huge dragon gestalt robot that lays waste to all of the barbarians. As a note, the whole thing feels maybe one or two steps removed from The Holy Grail, particulalry Tucci's take on Merlin feels about five seconds away from "Some call me... Tim."

Back in the present day, some kids sneak into a sectioned off area of Chicago. There they find Izabela, Squeeks and Canopy. The TRF -- an anti-Transformers military force -- show up and kill Canopy with Raptors and bipedal mechs. Then Cade Yaeger and Bumbleebee show up to recover a crashed Cybertronian. The dying Transformer tries to give Cade a mystical amulet but he refuses. Then the TRF shows up on foot, with Lennox from the first few films. They explode Bumblebee who promptly reconstructs himself. Lennox argues for Cade and Bee to be let go. Hound also shows up out of nowhere. The good guys get let go, but the TRF has put a tracker on Bee so they can keep tabs on them.

Barricade watches this whole thing go down. The government is also tracking him. Barricade goes back to meet Megatron who makes it clear that they are looking for "the staff" and Cade will lead them to it.

There's a big problem. Huge 'horns' are growing out of six places around the globe at a rate of three meters per day -- no one knows what they are. There are Cybertronians raining down all over the globe and continuing their grudge matches, leading almost every government on Earth to declare them illegal and kill them on on-sight. Also, Optimus Prime hasn't been seen since he vanished into space. This is because Optimus Prime seemed to run out of power or go into stasis around Jupiter. He drifts there, still broadcasting his "I'm going to kill you all" message to his Creators.

So, Cade ends up at a junkyard where he's hiding out with the other Autobots. A bunch of stuff happens. Cade misses his daughter, Grimlock eats a police car, the Autobots shove each other around and there are baby dinobots. Oh, Wheelie is there, too. Also, Izabela snuck back with Cade and the two debate how to save a Cybertronian life before doing surgery on Bumblebee to fix his voice. Only, they don't quite get it and Bumblebee gets a Siri voice. He rips out his voicebox in irritation.

Meanwhile, Megatron abducts two CIA agents so he can ransom them back to the US government for his people. There's a Suicide Squad introduction for these characters: Dreadbot, Mohawk, Nitro Zeus and Berserker. Well, Berserker is just too crazy to be let go. Megatron accepts this and asks for Onslaught instead, which is granted. Lennox oversees this.

Optimus Prime crashlands on Cybertron. He wanders to the core of Cybertron where he finds his Creator. He goes to strike her -- yes, her -- down but she quite easily and simply puts him down. Quintessa, as her name goes, is the Prime of Life and she angrily berates Prime for ruining Cybertron. Prime insists Megatron started the war but Quintessa is not amused. She binds Prime with chains and basically tells him her plan: she is taking Cybertron to Earth as Earth is Unicron and she can use what is left if Cybertron to suck Unicron of his power and, in the process, rebuild the planet. It will kill Earth but Prime accepts this, as Unicron his is ancient enemy. Quintessa rechristens Prime as Nemesis Prime and gives him red warpaint on his face. She needs him to recover her staff of power as it is the key to igniting the process of saving Cybertron.

Back on Earth, Megatron leads his crew to go smash up Cade's junkyard. An extremely brief fight plays out. Cade leads the Cons to a town he has wired with explosives. Onslaught, Dreadbot and Mohawk are promptly killed in about ten seconds. The TRF, chasing the Cons who are chasing Cade, get waylaid by Grimlock. They release a bunch of drones that look like TIE bombers but they are all smashed down by Cade and co.

Cogman shows up, telling Cade he is needed. He takes Cade and Bumblebee on a jet over to England. There, they meet Sir Anthony Hopkins, who is Cogman's master. Hopkins keeps a lot of old Transformers on his property, most of them in pretty bad states of repair or mental faculty. Around this time, Hot Rod abducts Viviane Wembly, who is a Professor at Oxford. Meanwhile, the TRF is chasing them from the US to the UK. A bunch of expostion takes place.

Merlin and everything is real. His staff is the most powerful thing ever devised.
Cybertron is coming. Earth is Unicron, the emerging horns mean he is waking up.
Merlin's staff is the key to stopping the apocalypse.
Wembly is the last surviving member of the Witwiccan Clan, a secret order of Witwickeys who have been part of everything throughout history, literally including just about anyone of note. There's seriously thousands of them being pivotal peope. Oh, Sam Witwicky is dead.
The Transformers have been here and active throughout all of recorded history. Hot Rod and Bumblebee helped kill Hitler. They didn't actually do this, a little watch Transformer did it.
In Cuba, Simmons is relaying some information to Hopkins about Unicron or something but I don't remember what specifically. He's chilling there with the Wreckers, though.

Cade and Wembly -- pursued by the TRF -- follow a long series of clues to get aboard HMS Alliance, which is also a Transformer. Meanwhile, Hopkins goes to meet with the Prime Minister and enlists his aide via threatening to kill him with The Watch That Killed Hitler. During this, Bumblebee shoots Barricade. Barricade basically takes a dive and stays out of the rest of the film.

At some point, people start realising Cybertron is coming and there's a few scenes of people realising that it's going to collide with Earth and kill everyone.

HMS Alliance "jumps" its moorings, Bumblebee hitching a ride on the outside, and vanishes into the ocean. It is pursued by a US submarine which is promptly disabled via some kind of confusing maneuver. That's okay, though, because Lennox and co. are chasing them down with mini-subs. Cade and his group find an ancient Cybertronian ship at the bottom of the ocean and enter it, pursued by Lennox's team. Wembley finds the staff but the Knights of Cybertron, decrepit and broken down, arise to protect it. Lennox and co. kill one of them, but more are coming.

Enter Optimus Prime who cuts his way through them and demands the staff, which is given to him. "Who will stand against me?" Prime snarks, leaving.

Cade convinces Bumblebee to do so. The pair fight and Prime gives Bee the old bat-breaker over the knee move Bane pulled in The Dark Knight Rises. Bumblebee, on the verge of being killed, tells Prime that he would die for him. Prime comes back to his senses and falls into despondency at what he has been doing.

Just in time for Megatron and Nitro Zeus to arrive, beat Prime down, and yank the staff away. "I knew you couldn't do it," Megatron gloats. As he flies away, the Knights of Cybertron descend on Prime and prepare to execute him for his crime of serving Quintessa, the great deceiver. As they swing the killing blow, Cade's mystical talisman becomes a shining sword and he stops it. He tells Prime that only he can make it right and that they need to stop Megatron.

Oh, I remember. Simmons told Hopkins that Stonehenge is the key. It's where Cybertron will arrive and where the process will begin. So, as Megatron arrives there with the staff, the British military rocks up and begins firing on them. Hopkins shoots Megatron in the face with a rifle but is shot and killed by the Decepticon leader.

By this time, Cybertron has arrived in the atmosphere, taking out the Moon on the way past. Izabela and the Autobots watch it from the junkyard. They comandeer Lockdown's ship and make their way towards Stonehenge.

At Stonehenge, everyone groups together as Cybertron begins to rip apart the Earth's landscape. All around the globe, millions are already dead. Lennox, Cade, Wembley, Izabela and the soldiers drop Ospreys from Lockdown's ship, with the Autobots aboard and the Knights in their dragon form. A battle takes place but the Autobots and their allies are pinned down right at their beach-head. They blast some of Cybertron's structural tentacles with missiles but it isn't enough to destroy Quintessa's 'ignition' chamber. Squeeks destroys the weapon battery keeping the Bots pinned down but it's too little, too late, particularly as Megatron orders Infernicus to combine and attack.

Prime arrives, atop the dragonbot. He stabs Infernicus then decapitates his five pieces in one swing of his sword. Inside Quintessa's ignition chamber, the Bots fight the Cons as Wembley tries to get the staff. Prime cuts off Megatron's arm and kicks him out into the sky. Nitro Zeus is killed by Bumblebee. Prime tries to kill Quintessa, who holds him back, but this allows Bee to sneak up on her and shoot her. Quintessa screams and vanishes into a blue ghostly form.

Wembley gets the staff. This stops the process but leaves Cybertron basically crashed into Earth. Prime says that humans and Autobots must work together to rebuild both their homes and, like the first film, asks for all Autobots to come home.

Mid-credits scene is Quintessa, who has a human disguise, stopping in at one of the Unicron horns. There, she tells the scientists that she can tell them how to kill "it".

I'm pretty sure that's basically everything of note.

Milkfred E. Moore fucked around with this message at 06:33 on Jun 26, 2017

# ? Jun 26, 2017 06:20

mashed: Jul 27, 2004

Milky Moor posted:

Prime arrives, atop the dragonbot. He stabs Infernicus then decapitates his five pieces in one swing of his sword.

There are clearly 6.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 07:11

Tenzarin: Jul 24, 2007; .; Taco Defender

They do need to address the huge spoiler outside the planet earth in the next movie. Or this movie is the greatest evidence against illegal aliens EVER MADE!! There needs to be some kind of resolution.

Dem illegal aliens just showed up at earth and totally ruined the place, they even brought their war criminals! They filled up our jails too! They had to make special jails just for the illegal aliens!

Tenzarin fucked around with this message at 07:25 on Jun 26, 2017

# ? Jun 26, 2017 07:19

ungulateman: Apr 18, 2012; pretentious fuckwit who isn't half as literate or insightful or clever as he thinks he is

oh yeah that was another deliciously Bay-esian scene at the start, with the group of minority kids being chased down by the DHS on their way to hunt and kill illegal aliens

i also like that Canopy resembles Bumblebee a fair bit so that when he dies, he's effectively replaced with a thematically related character, like that guy at the end of Kong who gets tossed off screen and Kong jumps back in from the exact same angle, or Bryan Cranston becoming Godzilla in the 2014 version.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 08:33

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

I can admire Bay for trying to break conventions with such a non-standard plot (try and delineate the 'acts' of this movie) and pacing, but it really struggled to connect with me. Between the paradigm-shifting aspect ratio shifting (every thirty seconds there's a different letterbox) and the plot's wild insanity, it certainly was interesting conceptually, but it just wasn't as fun to watch as #3 or even #4.

It needed some narrative focus and a clear bad dude (or good dude that Optimus justifies murdering) at the end. Quintessa and Megatron just aren't in the movie enough.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 11:48

Ramadu: Aug 25, 2004; 2015 NFL MVP

Milky Moor posted:

The film opens in the Dark Ages. King Arthur and his knights are under assault of a barbarian horde who look like something of Warhammer Fantasy. Arthur is sure that Merlin will bring great magics to help his knights but, really, it looks like the end is here.

Merlin is running about, drinking out of a glass bottle, until he finds a starship crashed in a mountainside. There, he finds the Knights of Cybertron. Merlin, who is played by Stanley Tucci, basically throws himself down before them, calling himself a cheater, a liar and all these terrible things but tells the Transformers that if Arthur and his people lose then it'll the end of everything, an age of darkness. The Knights of Cybertron grant him a staff and then turn into a huge dragon gestalt robot that lays waste to all of the barbarians. As a note, the whole thing feels maybe one or two steps removed from The Holy Grail, particulalry Tucci's take on Merlin feels about five seconds away from "Some call me... Tim."

Back in the present day, some kids sneak into a sectioned off area of Chicago. There they find Izabela, Squeeks and Canopy. The TRF -- an anti-Transformers military force -- show up and kill Canopy with Raptors and bipedal mechs. Then Cade Yaeger and Bumbleebee show up to recover a crashed Cybertronian. The dying Transformer tries to give Cade a mystical amulet but he refuses. Then the TRF shows up on foot, with Lennox from the first few films. They explode Bumblebee who promptly reconstructs himself. Lennox argues for Cade and Bee to be let go. Hound also shows up out of nowhere. The good guys get let go, but the TRF has put a tracker on Bee so they can keep tabs on them.

Barricade watches this whole thing go down. The government is also tracking him. Barricade goes back to meet Megatron who makes it clear that they are looking for "the staff" and Cade will lead them to it.

There's a big problem. Huge 'horns' are growing out of six places around the globe at a rate of three meters per day -- no one knows what they are. There are Cybertronians raining down all over the globe and continuing their grudge matches, leading almost every government on Earth to declare them illegal and kill them on on-sight. Also, Optimus Prime hasn't been seen since he vanished into space. This is because Optimus Prime seemed to run out of power or go into stasis around Jupiter. He drifts there, still broadcasting his "I'm going to kill you all" message to his Creators.

So, Cade ends up at a junkyard where he's hiding out with the other Autobots. A bunch of stuff happens. Cade misses his daughter, Grimlock eats a police car, the Autobots shove each other around and there are baby dinobots. Oh, Wheelie is there, too. Also, Izabela snuck back with Cade and the two debate how to save a Cybertronian life before doing surgery on Bumblebee to fix his voice. Only, they don't quite get it and Bumblebee gets a Siri voice. He rips out his voicebox in irritation.

Meanwhile, Megatron abducts two CIA agents so he can ransom them back to the US government for his people. There's a Suicide Squad introduction for these characters: Dreadbot, Mohawk, Nitro Zeus and Berserker. Well, Berserker is just too crazy to be let go. Megatron accepts this and asks for Onslaught instead, which is granted. Lennox oversees this.

Optimus Prime crashlands on Cybertron. He wanders to the core of Cybertron where he finds his Creator. He goes to strike her -- yes, her -- down but she quite easily and simply puts him down. Quintessa, as her name goes, is the Prime of Life and she angrily berates Prime for ruining Cybertron. Prime insists Megatron started the war but Quintessa is not amused. She binds Prime with chains and basically tells him her plan: she is taking Cybertron to Earth as Earth is Unicron and she can use what is left if Cybertron to suck Unicron of his power and, in the process, rebuild the planet. It will kill Earth but Prime accepts this, as Unicron his is ancient enemy. Quintessa rechristens Prime as Nemesis Prime and gives him red warpaint on his face. She needs him to recover her staff of power as it is the key to igniting the process of saving Cybertron.

Back on Earth, Megatron leads his crew to go smash up Cade's junkyard. An extremely brief fight plays out. Cade leads the Cons to a town he has wired with explosives. Onslaught, Dreadbot and Mohawk are promptly killed in about ten seconds. The TRF, chasing the Cons who are chasing Cade, get waylaid by Grimlock. They release a bunch of drones that look like TIE bombers but they are all smashed down by Cade and co.

Cogman shows up, telling Cade he is needed. He takes Cade and Bumblebee on a jet over to England. There, they meet Sir Anthony Hopkins, who is Cogman's master. Hopkins keeps a lot of old Transformers on his property, most of them in pretty bad states of repair or mental faculty. Around this time, Hot Rod abducts Viviane Wembly, who is a Professor at Oxford. Meanwhile, the TRF is chasing them from the US to the UK. A bunch of expostion takes place.

Merlin and everything is real. His staff is the most powerful thing ever devised.

Cybertron is coming. Earth is Unicron, the emerging horns mean he is waking up.

Merlin's staff is the key to stopping the apocalypse.

Wembly is the last surviving member of the Witwiccan Clan, a secret order of Witwickeys who have been part of everything throughout history, literally including just about anyone of note. There's seriously thousands of them being pivotal peope. Oh, Sam Witwicky is dead.

The Transformers have been here and active throughout all of recorded history. Hot Rod and Bumblebee helped kill Hitler. They didn't actually do this, a little watch Transformer did it.

In Cuba, Simmons is relaying some information to Hopkins about Unicron or something but I don't remember what specifically. He's chilling there with the Wreckers, though.

Cade and Wembly -- pursued by the TRF -- follow a long series of clues to get aboard HMS Alliance, which is also a Transformer. Meanwhile, Hopkins goes to meet with the Prime Minister and enlists his aide via threatening to kill him with The Watch That Killed Hitler. During this, Bumblebee shoots Barricade. Barricade basically takes a dive and stays out of the rest of the film.

At some point, people start realising Cybertron is coming and there's a few scenes of people realising that it's going to collide with Earth and kill everyone.

HMS Alliance "jumps" its moorings, Bumblebee hitching a ride on the outside, and vanishes into the ocean. It is pursued by a US submarine which is promptly disabled via some kind of confusing maneuver. That's okay, though, because Lennox and co. are chasing them down with mini-subs. Cade and his group find an ancient Cybertronian ship at the bottom of the ocean and enter it, pursued by Lennox's team. Wembley finds the staff but the Knights of Cybertron, decrepit and broken down, arise to protect it. Lennox and co. kill one of them, but more are coming.

Enter Optimus Prime who cuts his way through them and demands the staff, which is given to him. "Who will stand against me?" Prime snarks, leaving.

Cade convinces Bumblebee to do so. The pair fight and Prime gives Bee the old bat-breaker over the knee move Bane pulled in The Dark Knight Rises. Bumblebee, on the verge of being killed, tells Prime that he would die for him. Prime comes back to his senses and falls into despondency at what he has been doing.

Just in time for Megatron and Nitro Zeus to arrive, beat Prime down, and yank the staff away. "I knew you couldn't do it," Megatron gloats. As he flies away, the Knights of Cybertron descend on Prime and prepare to execute him for his crime of serving Quintessa, the great deceiver. As they swing the killing blow, Cade's mystical talisman becomes a shining sword and he stops it. He tells Prime that only he can make it right and that they need to stop Megatron.

Oh, I remember. Simmons told Hopkins that Stonehenge is the key. It's where Cybertron will arrive and where the process will begin. So, as Megatron arrives there with the staff, the British military rocks up and begins firing on them. Hopkins shoots Megatron in the face with a rifle but is shot and killed by the Decepticon leader.

By this time, Cybertron has arrived in the atmosphere, taking out the Moon on the way past. Izabela and the Autobots watch it from the junkyard. They comandeer Lockdown's ship and make their way towards Stonehenge.

At Stonehenge, everyone groups together as Cybertron begins to rip apart the Earth's landscape. All around the globe, millions are already dead. Lennox, Cade, Wembley, Izabela and the soldiers drop Ospreys from Lockdown's ship, with the Autobots aboard and the Knights in their dragon form. A battle takes place but the Autobots and their allies are pinned down right at their beach-head. They blast some of Cybertron's structural tentacles with missiles but it isn't enough to destroy Quintessa's 'ignition' chamber. Squeeks destroys the weapon battery keeping the Bots pinned down but it's too little, too late, particularly as Megatron orders Infernicus to combine and attack.

Prime arrives, atop the dragonbot. He stabs Infernicus then decapitates his five pieces in one swing of his sword. Inside Quintessa's ignition chamber, the Bots fight the Cons as Wembley tries to get the staff. Prime cuts off Megatron's arm and kicks him out into the sky. Nitro Zeus is killed by Bumblebee. Prime tries to kill Quintessa, who holds him back, but this allows Bee to sneak up on her and shoot her. Quintessa screams and vanishes into a blue ghostly form.

Wembley gets the staff. This stops the process but leaves Cybertron basically crashed into Earth. Prime says that humans and Autobots must work together to rebuild both their homes and, like the first film, asks for all Autobots to come home.

Mid-credits scene is Quintessa, who has a human disguise, stopping in at one of the Unicron horns. There, she tells the scientists that she can tell them how to kill "it".

I'm pretty sure that's basically everything of note.

hahahaha no this can't be true is there someone with a real summary cause this is actually not believable

# ? Jun 26, 2017 12:20

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

Ramadu posted:

hahahaha no this can't be true is there someone with a real summary cause this is actually not believable

*in an exceedingly accurate han solo voice* it's real. all of it.

Well, except as noted, the number of people Prime decapitates. I got that wrong. :negative:

The one thing I forgot to mention is that the mystical amulet that Cade refuses chases him to his junkyard.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 13:20

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

I don't think that summary mentions Buster Bluth doing NASA things but yeah that's 99% of the movie. A couple of things not mentioned where the final fight taking place in the collapsing ignition chamber which gave us some a wonderful wonky gravity sequence.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 13:27

Lampsacus: Oct 21, 2008

When they got to the underwater spaceship I walked out. Followed by a couple. This movie was really hard to hatewatch because of its length. I'll bring a friend for t6

# ? Jun 26, 2017 13:36

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

that rundown neglects to mention that the amulet is probably excalibur or at least a remnant of arthurian 'magic'

marky mark has it

# ? Jun 26, 2017 13:41

Ramadu: Aug 25, 2004; 2015 NFL MVP

Milky Moor posted:

*in an exceedingly accurate han solo voice* it's real. all of it.

Well, except as noted, the number of people Prime decapitates. I got that wrong.

The one thing I forgot to mention is that the mystical amulet that Cade refuses chases him to his junkyard.

i was making a joke but yeah hahahahhahaahahis this for real what on earth

# ? Jun 26, 2017 13:43

Nuebot: Feb 18, 2013; The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

Ramadu posted:

i was making a joke but yeah hahahahhahaahahis this for real what on earth

It grows legs for one scene then you just see it slithering over his body like a slug for the rest of the movie.

This movie is like a fever dream.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 14:26

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

well why not posted:

that rundown neglects to mention that the amulet is probably excalibur or at least a remnant of arthurian 'magic'

marky mark has it

It also only shows up once and not a single person comments on it. Marky Mark uses it to stop a sword wielded by a Knight of Cybertron dead in its tracks.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 14:34

QuasiQuack: Jun 13, 2010; Ducks hockey baybee

It also jerked him off once, unless i completely misread that scene. My memory of the movie is kind of hazy from sensory overload.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 14:37

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

QuasiQuack posted:

It also jerked him off once, unless i completely misread that scene. My memory of the movie is kind of hazy from sensory overload.

You're not entirely wrong. British check wanted to check to make sure :huh:

# ? Jun 26, 2017 14:46

Coco Rodreguiz: Jan 12, 2007; Peckerhead isn't used enough as an insult if you ask me.

Did I miss a line where they confirmed that Sam Wiiwicky is dead? I don't remember that at all.

You also forgot the shot of the photo of Harriet Tubman, implying she's connected to the Transformers somehow.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 15:07

sean10mm: Jun 29, 2005; It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

"Turn off your brain" isn't the right way to put it, but to enjoy the Transformers movies you really need to not care about conventional notions of plot or logic or dialogue or continuity (in any sense of the word) or much of anything.

I mean I watched part of 4 on TV last night and there was a pot bellied robot voiced by John Goodman smoking a cigar that's actually a shell casing that he turns around in his mouth and shoots a robot in the face with so I kind of don't even. Then Optimus Prime rides a robot T-Rex because sure why not.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 15:10

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

Milky Moor posted:

It also only shows up once and not a single person comments on it. Marky Mark uses it to stop a sword wielded by a Knight of Cybertron dead in its tracks.

It gets a lot of lovingly crafted glamour shots and then is gone from the movie 45 seconds later.

It's a perfect example of how the movie is so unfocussed. Marky Mark is the lead, but he kinda just drops in quite late and then doesn't really get any closure on the fact that he's apparently King Arthur reborn? It's just not mentioned. It gets equal screentime to the opening tween's pining plot (also ditched instantly).

Also, did Megatron rebuild Starscream offscreen? He had an F-22 with him towards the end. Actually, what even happened with Megatron in this movie? He kinda just fell away.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 15:13

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

Coco Rodreguiz posted:

Did I miss a line where they confirmed that Sam Wiiwicky is dead? I don't remember that at all.

You also forgot the shot of the photo of Harriet Tubman, implying she's connected to the Transformers somehow.

His photo was in the Witwicky conspiracy room, but they didn't say he was dead. He could still be out there, making out with women far better looking than he is.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 15:14

mashed: Jul 27, 2004

well why not posted:

Also, did Megatron rebuild Starscream offscreen? He had an F-22 with him towards the end. Actually, what even happened with Megatron in this movie? He kinda just fell away.

No that is nitro Zeus. Megaton just alas poor horricks starscream in the junkyard.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 15:31

Tardigrade: Jul 13, 2012; Half arthropod, half marshmallow, all cute.

The real question is how many faces did OP rip off?

# ? Jun 26, 2017 15:41

Necrothatcher: Mar 26, 2005

Tardigrade posted:

The real question is how many faces did OP rip off?

Zero as far as I can recall.

He's only in the film for 10-15 minutes anyway.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 15:47

Tardigrade: Jul 13, 2012; Half arthropod, half marshmallow, all cute.

Mr. Flunchy posted:

Zero as far as I can recall.

This is the most disappointing thing I've heard about TLK so far.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 15:51

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

He does that sick multi-behead move from the trailer, and also bangs someone's face into the ground a bunch. No actual face destruction, however.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 15:56

GoldenGun: Oct 21, 2005; In heaven everything is fine

I approve of the casually introduced but extremely rad slo-mo weapon. Love the imagery it produced (like the two dogs facing each other).

# ? Jun 26, 2017 15:58

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

GoldenGun posted:

I approve of the casually introduced but extremely rad slo-mo weapon. Love the imagery it produced (like the two dogs facing each other).

Megatron getting hit by it, Hound unloading his gun, then Megatron getting hit by all the bullets was pretty loving awesome.

The Last Knight doesn't improve on face ripping techniques but it does have the adequate minimum face ripping for a Transformer movie.

Happy Noodle Boy fucked around with this message at 16:09 on Jun 26, 2017

# ? Jun 26, 2017 16:04

mashed: Jul 27, 2004

well why not posted:

He does that sick multi-behead move from the trailer, and also bangs someone's face into the ground a bunch. No actual face destruction, however.

During the multi beheaded move he shatters the jaws and mouths of three of the dudes.

He also stabs devil voltron through the face before it splits into 6.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 16:05

new kind of cat: May 8, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

well why not posted:

that rundown neglects to mention that the amulet is probably excalibur or at least a remnant of arthurian 'magic'

marky mark has it

It also gave him a hand beezy

# ? Jun 26, 2017 17:38

SuperMechagodzilla: Jun 9, 2007; NEWT REBORN

well why not posted:

It needed some narrative focus and a clear bad dude (or good dude that Optimus justifies murdering) at the end. Quintessa and Megatron just aren't in the movie enough.

Optimus Prime is unambiguously the villain of this film. He's simply the most charismatic and dangerous villain because he has the power friendship.

The joke is that Optimus, failing at everything he's ever set out to do, has blundered his way into finally winning his war against the deceptions. Cybertron, at the end, is explicitly declared home of the autobots - and Prime has also implicitly gained dominion over the Earth.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 17:44

Gatts: Jan 2, 2001; Goodnight Moon; Nap Ghost

Hot Rod is a French accented race car TF who has the power and touch to stop time into slow motion while hitting on pretty human ladies and leaping about kicking rear end. The whole series is a silly 300 million dollar cartoon with depth of subversion of American ideals and film making that is expressed in cynical underlying menace and hate yet is glorious to behold.

And Bumblebee was in WWII and Hopkins remembers him from when he was a kid.

I'm pretty sure Michael Bay is a top 5 director on earth today. He gets so much so right and while the first Transformers was a straightforward conventional film I am happier it went to the directions it did.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 17:55

Excelsiortothemax: Sep 9, 2006

I just want to know when Grimlock and Slag had time to dig those holes and ambush the TRF convoy, and then why Maddox and Santos were suddenly in another convoy over looking the carnage? Also, where were the other three dinobots?

How in the hell did Hound survive a fight against the entire Deception force and escape when he is the slowest vehicle mode and they have two jets on their team?

Sucks that Drift and Crosshairs did nothing but apparently die off screen?

So many unanswered questions!

# ? Jun 26, 2017 18:09

Gatts: Jan 2, 2001; Goodnight Moon; Nap Ghost

Just like the cartoons it doesn't matter they can show up any time and continuity is malleable.

Seriously. Bay made a perfect 80s cartoon down to the errors. Only out 30 to 40 year old nostalgic brains are expecting something on an adult level failing to recall original quality show as a kid

Bay is genius.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 18:15

Excelsiortothemax: Sep 9, 2006

That is one thing I enjoy about the film. It did feel like the 80s cartoon errors complete with colour changes, disappearing characters and Megatron blasting off again.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 18:19

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# ? May 10, 2024 02:42

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

They're all kinda like that. it's a direct adaptation of the cartoon, even down to the GAME CHANGING powerups that last half of one episode.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 19:05

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > I still really like the Transformers movies

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