SA's Greatest Sagas: careful that's a load-bearing slur

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > SA's Greatest Sagas: careful that's a load-bearing slur

«‹›798 »

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

Kelp Me! posted:

I was in Scotland last year and streamed a hockey game at a bar and the few locals warmed up pretty quick once they realized that it's basically soccer with a ton of momentum and body-slamming the other team. It's a shame, I feel like places like the UK should be pretty receptive to hockey since they love soccer so much and also have ridiculous bloodsports like hurling, but instead the highest-tier league out there has teams playing in like <3,000-capacity arenas and nobody gives a flying gently caress about it

Basically we a) spend so much emotional energy on stabbing each other over Rangers and Celtic we have no energy for anything else and b) American Football has made us inherently suspicious of any sport involving the players dressing up in body armour like big sissies

# ? Jun 28, 2017 20:39

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 20:39

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Basically we a) spend so much emotional energy on stabbing each other over Rangers and Celtic we have no energy for anything else and b) American Football has made us inherently suspicious of any sport involving the players dressing up in body armour like big sissies

Well yeah that's natural; American football is tailor-made to amuse non-Americans. You've got rugby which is basically football without all the pads, and even if you get past that there's the whole "30 seconds of stoppage/recovery time after every 10 seconds of actual play" thing.

I'm thoroughly convinced you guys would get into it if they just played clips from "hardest hits" compilations every now and then during soccer broadcast breaks:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcV5AUD41kI

It would also help to explain to people that in that video the reason play stops is almost never to tend to injuries or anything like that, but rather because this is happening right afterwards:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjJr9zjUMN0

TBQH I bet "bare-knuckled fistfights are an accepted and time-honored part of the game" would be more than enough to pique the average soccer fan's interest

e: I would 100% have gone to an Edinburgh Capitals game if one had been going on when I was there

# ? Jun 28, 2017 20:49

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Rugby and Australian rules football exist only to get knickers in a wet old twist.

American football sort of does this. You can see many a lady or gentleman excited about Tom loving Brady calves but it's to a lesser degree.

# ? Jun 28, 2017 20:53

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Joke point about Brady

It's the linebackers :byodame:

# ? Jun 28, 2017 20:54

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Basically we a) spend so much emotional energy on stabbing each other over Rangers and Celtic we have no energy for anything else and b) American Football has made us inherently suspicious of any sport involving the players dressing up in body armour like big sissies

Early hockey pads literally were suits of armor and the NHL had to make them put soft coverings on them because people would break jaws and poo poo by slamming people in the face with hard fiberglass elbowpad

http://stars.nhl.com/ext/pdf/NHL_UniformBooklet.pdf

"Post World War ll, felt and leather shoulder and elbow
pads began to be replaced by pads made of plastic and
fiberglass. The shoulder pads were similar to those
that had been developed for football. By the late 1940�s,
numerous players were being injured by this latest equipment
innovation. NHL President Clarence Campbell in
1950: �There is considerable support for the view that the
elbow pads and shoulder harnesses being supplied to
teams at the present time are taking on the appearance
and effect of heavy armor, which, while protecting the
wearer, is inflicting much more serious damage to opponents,
and obviously this cannot go on. It is completely
ridiculous for us to permit one player to protect himself
with a type of equipment which is constructed in a manner
which can injure another. In my opinion, the present
day elbow pad does not have anything like a sufficient
covering over the hard circular piece of fiber to afford any
appreciable resilience so as the minimize the risk of injury
to another player and the fact that we have had quite
a number of facial fractures from �elbowing� this current
year only serves to emphasize the necessity of eliminating
all dangerous equipment.�

# ? Jun 28, 2017 20:58

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Yeah hockey in the old days was like a loving war, helmets weren't mandatory until 1979 and goalies didn't even wear masks until like the late 50's

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:04

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Kelp Me! posted:

Well yeah that's natural; American football is tailor-made to amuse non-Americans. You've got rugby which is basically football without all the pads, and even if you get past that there's the whole "30 seconds of stoppage/recovery time after every 10 seconds of actual play" thing.

I'm thoroughly convinced you guys would get into it if they just played clips from "hardest hits" compilations every now and then during soccer broadcast breaks:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcV5AUD41kI

It would also help to explain to people that in that video the reason play stops is almost never to tend to injuries or anything like that, but rather because this is happening right afterwards:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjJr9zjUMN0

TBQH I bet "bare-knuckled fistfights are an accepted and time-honored part of the game" would be more than enough to pique the average soccer fan's interest

e: I would 100% have gone to an Edinburgh Capitals game if one had been going on when I was there

The best part of the top ten hits is the #2, one of the dudes manages to get his gloves off through what appears to be pure telekinesis

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:06

funmanguy: Apr 20, 2006; What time is it?

I also enjoy hockey

oh right, I forgot my avatar is hockey.

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:06

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Kelp Me! posted:

Yeah hockey in the old days was like a loving war, helmets weren't mandatory until 1979 and goalies didn't even wear masks until like the late 50's

So Slap Shot is a documentary

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:06

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

The best part of the top ten hits is the #2, one of the dudes manages to get his gloves off through what appears to be pure telekinesis

AFAIK hockey gloves are worn ultra-loose (I think you actually need to hold a slight grip just to keep them on) so you see that kind of Astro Boy jetpack-fists thing a lot, it's always pretty great

Also for non-hockey fans I should mention that a surprisingly large portion of those hits were legal, and if it wasn't for the fights breaking out play would continue unless the dude was unconscious or bleeding profusely

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

So Slap Shot is a documentary

It is much closer to reality than most people who weren't hockey fans in the 60's-70's would assume:

quote:

Syracuse Bulldogs rookie goon Ogie Ogilthorpe, who was mentioned throughout the film but never actually seen until the final playoff game, was based on longtime minor-league goon Bill "Goldie" Goldthorpe. Like Ogie Ogilthorpe, Goldie Goldthorpe is also infamous for his rookie season in professional hockey (1973) when as a member of the Syracuse Blazers he amassed 25 major fighting penalties before Christmas.[9]

The Blades in the film were based on the Broome Dusters. One scene in the film was specifically drawn from events that occurred in Binghamton. In the movie, the Hanson brothers wear black-rimmed, Coke-bottle eyeglasses, and in one game, get into a fight immediately after the opening faceoff. In reality what happened was that both Jeff and Steve Carlson wore those type of glasses, and did get into a long fight right after an opening faceoff. Coach Dick Roberge told the Johnstown Tribune-Democrat, "We got into Binghamton about two or three weeks before the playoffs. In the team warmup, we're out there and all the Binghamton players came out with the plastic glasses and big noses, every one of them, poking fun at the Carlson brothers. We went back in the dressing room and the boys said, 'Coach, as soon as that puck is dropped, we're pairing up.' We had one heckuva fight. They went about 30 minutes until everyone got tired. We met them again in the finals (1974�75) and beat them four straight."

A scene in the film shows the Hanson brothers jumping the Peterboro Patriots during pre-game warm-ups. This scene is based on events in a mid-1970s North American Hockey League playoff series between the Johnstown Jets and the Buffalo Norsemen.[10] The Jets had a black player on their roster, and during a playoff game held in North Tonawanda, New York (a northern suburb of Buffalo where the Norsemen played their home games), a Norsemen fan held up a derogatory sign stating that blacks should be playing basketball. The next game in the series was held in Johnstown, and the Jets retaliated by attacking the Norsemen players during the warm-ups, with a huge brawl erupting. The Norsemen players and coaches then returned to the dressing room and refused to come out to start the game. The game was awarded to the Jets by forfeit, as was the playoff series since the "win" gave the Jets the needed number of victories to capture the series.[10]

Another scene from the movie is also based on a real-life event. In the film, Jeff Hanson scores a goal and is hit in the face by a set of keys thrown by a fan. The Hansons then go into the stands after the fan and Jeff Hanson punches out the wrong fan. After the game, the Hansons are arrested for the incident. In real life, a similar incident occurred in Utica, New York in a game between the Johnstown Jets and the Mohawk Valley Comets.[10] Jeff Carlson was hit in the face by a cup of ice thrown by a Utica fan and he went into the stands after the fan with his brothers Jack and Steve. All three were arrested and Dave Hanson gathered the money for bail for the Carlson brothers.[10]

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:13

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

upstate new york fuckin rules, y'all

edit part of that movie was shot at the rink where i saw my first hockey game actually

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:19

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHN7kGT57GI

Highlight is at 0:25 when you can see Mike Milbury (#26 in the Bruins jersey) rip off a fan's shoe and beat him with it (Mike Milbury is now one of the most well-known NHL analysts in sports media :haw:

)

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

upstate new york fuckin rules, y'all

My wife is from that area, it's pretty nice and tranquil as long as you're not in a big city

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:20

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

hockey seems cool

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:20

Space Camp fuckup: Aug 2, 2003

Hockey is definitely my favorite saga of the SA forums

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:23

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Space Camp fuckup posted:

Hockey is definitely my favorite saga of the SA forums

Glad to hear it, friend!

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:23

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Hockey is not very good.

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:25

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Space Camp fuckup posted:

Hockey is definitely my favorite saga of the SA forums

it's fun and violent and I love it.

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:27

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; It's how her species communicates

Kelp Me! posted:

Yeah hockey in the old days was like a loving war, helmets weren't mandatory until 1979 and goalies didn't even wear masks until like the late 50's

I remember when I first started getting in to hockey in the 80s there was a player on the Blues that never wore a helmet because apparently if you were in the league before the mandatory helmet rule you could forgo the helmet. He was the only player that chose to do so. Balls of steel, man.

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:34

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Grem posted:

I remember when I first started getting in to hockey in the 80s there was a player on the Blues that never wore a helmet because apparently if you were in the league before the mandatory helmet rule you could forgo the helmet. He was the only player that chose to do so. Balls of steel, man.

Craig MacTavish! He coached the Oilers for a few years too after he retired.

Also I think it's great that I started this conversation with talking about hockey in Scotland and now we're full circle with an obviously-Scottish-heritage player!

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:45

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Grem posted:

I remember when I first started getting in to hockey in the 80s there was a player on the Blues that never wore a helmet because apparently if you were in the league before the mandatory helmet rule you could forgo the helmet. He was the only player that chose to do so. Balls of steel, man.

hardcore

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:52

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

As a Southeast Michigan resident, I'm obligated to contribute with a Red Wings story.

This year, the historic Joe Louis Arena closed. One of the ways local radio paid tribute was to gleefully celebrate a time 20 years ago when a massive brawl broke out between Detroit and Colorado after their previous game had a Colorado player deliberately injure a Red Wing for weeks. So we had the local npr interviewing people and waxing nostalgic about the time the sports team beat the everloving poo poo out of another team. Good times.

# ? Jun 28, 2017 21:53

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

Choco1980 posted:

As a Southeast Michigan resident, I'm obligated to contribute with a Red Wings story.

This year, the historic Joe Louis Arena closed. One of the ways local radio paid tribute was to gleefully celebrate a time 20 years ago when a massive brawl broke out between Detroit and Colorado after their previous game had a Colorado player deliberately injure a Red Wing for weeks. So we had the local npr interviewing people and waxing nostalgic about the time the sports team beat the everloving poo poo out of another team. Good times.

truly a classic! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P4wg21mLf8

non-hockey fan note: the preview image shows the 2 goalies fighting which is extremely rare unless you're Ron Hextall

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:00

stab: Feb 12, 2003; To you from failing hands we throw the torch, be yours to hold it high

Kelp Me! posted:

Craig MacTavish! He coached the Oilers for a few years too after he retired.

Also I think it's great that I started this conversation with talking about hockey in Scotland and now we're full circle with an obviously-Scottish-heritage player!

he also killed somebody.

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:01

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

stab posted:

he also killed somebody.

Yeah, it's pretty lovely

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:02

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Kelp Me! posted:

truly a classic! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P4wg21mLf8

non-hockey fan note: the preview image shows the 2 goalies fighting which is extremely rare unless you're Ron Hextall

further cements my desire to root for the wings

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:15

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Grem posted:

I remember when I first started getting in to hockey in the 80s there was a player on the Blues that never wore a helmet because apparently if you were in the league before the mandatory helmet rule you could forgo the helmet. He was the only player that chose to do so. Balls of steel, man.

i was born in 1988

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:26

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Pyf year you were born

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:28

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

Pyf year you were born

420, I'm immortal.

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:29

Snak: Oct 10, 2005; I myself will carry you to the Gates of Valhalla...
You will ride eternal,
shiny and chrome.; Grimey Drawer

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

Pyf year you were born

My favorite year I was born is 1987, because Predator, RoboCop, and Hellraiser all came out that year.

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:30

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

I just found out Las Vegas got an NHL team this year so my gimmick is going to be posting about them like they were the Cubs in the 2016 World Series and I'm a hundred year old man who waited his whole life for that win

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:32

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

My year is boring but the actual day of the month is interesting because it's the same day that John Lennon and Dimebag Darrell were killed, and also the day the US declared war on Japan

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:32

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

I just found out Las Vegas got an NHL team this year so my gimmick is going to be posting about them like they were the Cubs in the 2016 World Series and I'm a hundred year old man who waited his whole life for that win

You'd probably be better of posting about them like they were the cubs on on their legendary suck streak because that team is shaping up to be brutally terrible

e: the current public face player is a washed-up goalie whose main claims to fame are a) only playing more than 1-2 playoff games this year due to his better, younger counterpart being injured for part of the team's run and b) being so emotionally fragile that scoring 1 goal against him was a pretty solid indicator that your team was gonna score at least 2-3 more that game

Snow Cone Capone has a new favorite as of 22:37 on Jun 28, 2017

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:34

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

Pyf year you were born

My favorite year i was born is 1979 because at least I'm not a filthy millennial. :smuggo:

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:35

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Kelp Me! posted:

You'd probably be better of posting about them like they were the cubs on on their legendary suck streak because that team is shaping up to be brutally terrible

It's not a good gimmick if it's realistic

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:35

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

BENGHAZI 2 posted:

It's not a good gimmick if it's realistic

I'm sure the games will sell out because it's Vegas and the locals are desperate for actual entertainment, and it's their only pro sports team period, but lol the team is literally composed of players from the rest of the teams that were deemed "not important/good enough to have protected status from the expansion draft"

I reiterate the hilarity of their most notable draft pick being Marc-Andre Fleury :laugh:

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:40

BENGHAZI 2: Oct 13, 2007; by Cyrano4747

Kelp Me! posted:

I'm sure the games will sell out because it's Vegas and the locals are desperate for actual entertainment, and it's their only pro sports team period, but lol the team is literally composed of players from the rest of the teams that were deemed "not important/good enough to have protected status from the expansion draft"

I reiterate the hilarity of their most notable draft pick being Marc-Andre Fleury

I don't know who that is but his name is funny

# ? Jun 28, 2017 22:41