Taiwan Number 1

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Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

just put an out of order sign on the water cooler and no one will touch it again, or make an attempt to get it fixed.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 09:09

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# ? May 29, 2024 21:44

LentThem: Aug 31, 2004; 90% Retractible

Alzabo posted:

farmer: My poo poo broke, you fix it now.
Haier: Busy right now, will fix it later.
farmer: You are not helping me, you are an rear end in a top hat.
Haier: I want to help you, but I have things to do when you contact me suddenly.

haier clearly has some kind of curse that causes the majority of chinese people to get angry at him within minutes of encountering him, both in real life and on the internet, going as far as to harass him on the street even when they don't have a huge numbers advantage. I found a description of the curse below:

# ? Jun 29, 2017 09:18

mrbotus: Apr 7, 2009; Patron of the Pants

So they thought you would just give up on getting paid?

# ? Jun 29, 2017 09:44

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

BCR posted:

The best way to describe working there was it was like people with goldfish memorys who were trolling their pet foreigner daily and they would get annoyed with pet foreigner who stopped being interesting as soon as he was getting them to do their actual jobs.

This is workingineastasia.txt for the most part. Except goldfish have better memories.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 10:19

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

Fauxtool posted:

just put an out of order sign on the water cooler and no one will touch it again, or make an attempt to get it fixed.

who make the "out of order" signs?

# ? Jun 29, 2017 10:23

Darkest Auer: Dec 30, 2006; They're silly; Ramrod XTreme

The trouble with the sign approach is that no one reads signs and/or understand what they mean. This is related to the annoying habit of asking a million questions in shops and restaurants.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 11:05

hakimashou: Jul 15, 2002; Upset Trowel

Darkest Auer posted:

The trouble with the sign approach is that no one reads signs and/or understand what they mean. This is related to the annoying habit of asking a million questions in shops and restaurants.

I would have given anything for subtitles during the million incomprehensible protracted arguments I witnessed between Chinese people trying to order food at restaurants and the servers.

What could they possibly be arguing about?

# ? Jun 29, 2017 11:22

Tupperwarez: Apr 4, 2004; "phphphphphphpht"? this is what you're going with?

you sure?

Grand Fromage posted:

This is workingineastasia.txt for the most part. Except goldfish have better memories.

Please also view the supplemental material as well: workingineastasia.flv

# ? Jun 29, 2017 11:35

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Ups_rail posted:

I can not parse this

Whats going on?

Alzabo posted:

farmer: My poo poo broke, you fix it now.
Haier: Busy right now, will fix it later.
farmer: You are not helping me, you are an rear end in a top hat.
Haier: I want to help you, but I have things to do when you contact me suddenly.

Yes, and then I was blocked.

BCR posted:

* I try and drink about 4 to 5 litres of water everyday. Whatever the conversation was before, it would turn to commentating that I am drinking water, and that this was an amazing thing.

Same for me. "Why you drink so much water? My God!" and when I ask them how much they like to drink per day it's always like "300ml every day, maybe less if I have a headache. Water makes me fat." LOL No, you're constantly dehydrated so you retain any water you drink because you're destroying your organs. They refuse to believe being chronically dehydrated has something to do with those chronic headaches they all get, or the chronic halitosis, or the chronic low energy, or a host of other problems and pains.

The whipped cream parties were all dudes, right? Please say yes.

LentThem posted:

haier clearly has some kind of curse that causes the majority of chinese people to get angry at him within minutes of encountering him, both in real life and on the internet, going as far as to harass him on the street even when they don't have a huge numbers advantage. I found a description of the curse below:

LMAO. I wish I could go berserk-o like Greendog. In other countries, my daydreams are simple things like running my own food stall/cart, going to the skatepark, meeting a nice girl, etc. In China my daydreams are all about hulking out and smashing cars and leveling the city with super powers.

I used to play that game a lot on the Sega Channel. It was also the only game they had at the Sears electronics department videogame testing station, so on hot days I'd go play it for 20 minutes until some other kid would whine I was hogging the machine.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 11:41

Porfiriato: Jan 4, 2016

Fojar38 posted:

https://www.shanghaiexpat.com/news/chinese-built-bridge-collapses-after-kenyan-president-inspects

I don't think this got posted here, but another good read on Chinese follies in Kenya from a few weeks ago.

Kenyans Fear Chinese-Backed Railway Is Another �Lunatic Express�

quote:

President Uhuru Kenyatta�s government spent $4 billion on a 300-mile railway connecting the capital to the Indian Ocean port of Mombasa, the most expensive infrastructure project since Kenya�s independence 54 years ago and one-fifth of its national budget.

Eager to portray it as a major achievement ahead of national elections in August, Mr. Kenyatta opened the so-called Standard Gauge Railway last Wednesday. But the fanfare was overshadowed by a concern that has been snowballing for months, filling many Kenyans with mild terror: How can the country repay its monstrous debt to China?

As a result of the railway�s gargantuan cost, and the equally enormous task of repaying China, some Kenyans already have a nickname for it: the Lunatic Express 2.

The name Lunatic Express was coined more than a century ago to describe a colonial British railway so costly it was considered a �gigantic folly,� even by the standards of the Empire. The 660-mile line linked Lake Victoria with Mombasa. Thousands of laborers, most of them Indians, died from harsh working conditions, disease, hostile tribes and even man-eating lions.

In recent years, riding the train had become an act of lunacy itself. Passengers boarded a rusting, creaking millipede overtaken by trucks, buses and grazing animals that had claimed parts of the railway as resting spots.

The SGR, its Chinese successor, travels much faster, averaging 74 miles an hour, and is designed to carry 22 million tons of cargo a year. Its construction involved little foreign labor or murderous animals. The lunacy, many Kenyans say, is the idea of generations being chained to China, long after Mr. Kenyatta and his coterie leave office.

�It�s madness,� said Samuel Nyandemo, a senior lecturer in economics at Nairobi University, who was visibly outraged. Why, he almost shouted, is the railway twice as expensive as a similar project in neighboring Ethiopia or Morocco? And why was the tendering process done behind closed doors, if not to allow Kenya�s political elite to pocket vast sums of kickbacks?

�This is another type of lunacy,� he said.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 12:16

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

My Malaysia-born-and-raised Chinese friend gets it:

# ? Jun 29, 2017 13:22

Ibblebibble: Nov 12, 2013

I'm glad that lack of drinking water is not a cultural thing that filtered through to the Malaysian Chinese community.

Mostly because if you tried that you'd probably die of heatstroke in five minutes outside.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 15:53

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Yeah I dated a Malaysian chinese girl for a while and her family drank water just fine. There were cultural differences but nothing as enraging as mentioned in this thread. The big one that led to the end of things was that her brother was mentally ill or just knew how to milk his family. He would be "possessed by a god" which means they had to wait on him hand and foot so the god would not be offended and leave him. He would often get possessed when it was time to leave their comfortable house and go see grandma in the village, or an exam was coming up, or anything he didn't like was about to happen. They knew he was possessed because he would "act strange" and have seizures and then become very grumpy and demanding.

The slightest hint of suggesting that maybe he was just doing it to get out of poo poo, or had some sort of illness that needed to be looked at, would lead to enraged defensiveness and "It's chinese culture!!!!!"

Is this a common thing? I've never heard of this sort of scam before.

Baronjutter fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Jun 29, 2017

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:19

Slim Jim Pickens: Jan 16, 2012

I had a roommate who dated a Phillipines Chinese girl at one point. She seemed pretty normal to me, but apparently was hardcore into some fetish that to this day my roommate refuses to tell me what it was. All I know is that it isn't piss or cucking

Baronjutter posted:

Yeah I dated a Malaysian chinese girl for a while and her family drank water just fine. There were cultural differences but nothing as enraging as mentioned in this thread. The big one that led to the end of things was that her brother was mentally ill or just knew how to milk his family. He would be "possessed by a god" which means they had to wait on him hand and foot so the god would not be offended and leave him. He would often get possessed when it was time to leave their comfortable house and go see grandma in the village, or an exam was coming up, or anything he didn't like was about to happen. They knew he was possessed because he would "act strange" and have seizures and then become very grumpy and demanding.

The slightest hint of suggesting that maybe he was just doing it to get out of poo poo, or had some sort of illness that needed to be looked at, would lead to enraged defensiveness and "It's chinese culture!!!!!"

Is this a common thing? I've never heard of this sort of scam before.

It's called "Asian masculinity"

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:27

Darkest Auer: Dec 30, 2006; They're silly; Ramrod XTreme

Slim Jim Pickens posted:

It's called "Asian masculinity"

lol

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:57

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Slim Jim Pickens posted:

It's called "Asian masculinity"

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:19

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

Slim Jim Pickens posted:

It's called "Asian masculinity"

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:22

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Slim Jim Pickens posted:

It's called "Asian masculinity"

Savage!

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:40

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

I think I've figure out the whole "water is bad thing". What resource is gonna be scarce very soon in china? Water.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:54

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

Boiled Water posted:

I think I've figure out the whole "water is bad thing".

mate it's not that complicated the clue is even in your username

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:57

mojo1701a: Oct 9, 2008; Oh, yeah. Loud and clear. Emphasis on LOUD!
~ David Lee Roth

Boiled Water posted:

I think I've figure out the whole "water is bad thing". What resource is gonna be scarce very soon in china? Water.

So you're saying the CPC has pre-emptively Immortan Joe'd the people?

# ? Jun 29, 2017 21:19

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

HK posters are real stylish

# ? Jun 29, 2017 21:32

hakimashou: Jul 15, 2002; Upset Trowel

Jeoh posted:

HK posters are real stylish

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:09

Ups_rail: Dec 8, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

BCR posted:

Positives was got paid well and on time the correct amount by sitting there and patiently annoying the money man till it happened. Which was normally after the third or fourth person would come looking for me because they needed something and me saying sorry can't help right now I'm working out something with the money man which would lead to one of the bigger bosses coming down and telling the money man to just pay the foreigner we need him for something. This would happen every pay day.

I gotta ask, did the other workers know/realize that the money man was trying to stiff you, and have no issue? Did he do this to them?

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:11

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Slim Jim Pickens posted:

I had a roommate who dated a Phillipines Chinese girl at one point. She seemed pretty normal to me, but apparently was hardcore into some fetish that to this day my roommate refuses to tell me what it was. All I know is that it isn't piss or cucking

Weren't the two girls from swap.avi Filipinas?

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:49

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

webmeister posted:

Weren't the two girls from swap.avi Filipinas?

Brazillians

# ? Jun 29, 2017 23:04

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

Slim Jim Pickens posted:

It's called "Asian masculinity"

ay yi yi

# ? Jun 30, 2017 01:51

hailthefish: Oct 24, 2010

Slim Jim Pickens posted:

It's called "Asian masculinity"

# ? Jun 30, 2017 02:22

Gromit: Aug 15, 2000; I am an oppressed White Male, Asian women wont serve me! Save me Campbell Newman!!!!!!!

Haier posted:

Same for me. "Why you drink so much water? My God!" and when I ask them how much they like to drink per day it's always like "300ml every day, maybe less if I have a headache. Water makes me fat." LOL No, you're constantly dehydrated so you retain any water you drink because you're destroying your organs. They refuse to believe being chronically dehydrated has something to do with those chronic headaches they all get, or the chronic halitosis, or the chronic low energy, or a host of other problems and pains.

But 4 to 5 litres sounds like some sort of medical condition you should have checked out, unless you're sweating that amount out all day by breaking rocks in a desert.

# ? Jun 30, 2017 02:48

Splode: Jun 18, 2013; put some clothes on you little freak

Let's nip water chat in the bud now. Drink if you're thirsty and only discuss it with your doctor.

I just watched the woman at the university print centre laying in to some poor Chinese kid. "Have you printed on campus before? Have you used a printer at home? You're at university, printing shouldn't be a new concept to you"

"I AM A NEW STUDENT!"

To be fair to the poor kid, it's an 8 step procedure and the only poster explaining it is in English

# ? Jun 30, 2017 02:56

BCR: Jan 23, 2011

nickmeister posted:

So they thought you would just give up on getting paid?

Yep. From their perspective there was nothing to lose. Hold it back and see what you can get. Its like when you go to a corner store and go well all your crap was really expensive give us something for free and they give you a box of cigarettes or chewing gum. If they tell you to get hosed, you haven't lost anything, but sometimes they will give you something.

Haier posted:

Same for me. "Why you drink so much water? My God!" and when I ask them how much they like to drink per day it's always like "300ml every day, maybe less if I have a headache. Water makes me fat." LOL No, you're constantly dehydrated so you retain any water you drink because you're destroying your organs. They refuse to believe being chronically dehydrated has something to do with those chronic headaches they all get, or the chronic halitosis, or the chronic low energy, or a host of other problems and pains.

The whipped cream parties were all dudes, right? Please say yes.

I was getting the "I feel tired, and not thirsty, I just have one cup of water and one cup of coffee." Thankfully a couple starting drinking a few thermos's of water a day and started feeling better.

Yep, whipped cream party was all university grads and 40 year old IT guys. For me it was so unimaginative. Once a month, ok, you can probably have a lot of fun because theres a gap from the last party. Twice a week? Not so much. "You raise me up..." Whipped cream beijing bikini action.

Ups_rail posted:

I gotta ask, did the other workers know/realize that the money man was trying to stiff you, and have no issue? Did he do this to them?

With them, a lot would get their pay late by a couple of months. So January pay in April kind of thing. Some he would pull some multi level marketing poo poo, some love your company poo poo we have cash flow problems and will remember favourably next pay rise or promotion, some I need a loan can you help me, look I can't pay you now heres a free weekend in a shack by a resevoir for you and your family. Every different angle he would try.

# ? Jun 30, 2017 02:57

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

I saw Kong: Skull Island last night. When I saw the names Wanda and Tencent show up, I knew it was going to be a compromised movie.

She can't even speak English.

# ? Jun 30, 2017 08:09

Slim Jim Pickens: Jan 16, 2012

China's twice-over "Most Disappointing Actress" Jing Tian looks a bit weird imo

webmeister posted:

Weren't the two girls from swap.avi Filipinas?

I really don't think it was poop, just because of how pedestrian of a digusting fetish that would be. He would have just laughed it off if it was poop but instead he just goes completely silent if I bring up the subject.

Slim Jim Pickens fucked around with this message at 08:46 on Jun 30, 2017

# ? Jun 30, 2017 08:42

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

OMG
This girl and her whining and her eyebrows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxJ9TBMoAL4

No surprise she (can't) longboard. Longboarders are weirdos.

EDIT: LOL, it's "empowering" to teach Chinese kids. HAHAHA

# ? Jun 30, 2017 08:43

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Haier posted:

OMG
This girl and her whining and her eyebrows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxJ9TBMoAL4

No surprise she (can't) longboard. Longboarders are weirdos.

EDIT: LOL, it's "empowering" to teach Chinese kids. HAHAHA

This popped up in my suggestions 2 days ago. A minute of my life that I'll never get back. What a load of uninteresting bland poo poo.

# ? Jun 30, 2017 08:53

curufinor: Apr 4, 2016; by Smythe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L65_R9frIGM

30 secs in

# ? Jun 30, 2017 08:57

simplefish: Mar 28, 2011; So long, and thanks for all the ~~fish~~ gallbladdΣrs!

quote:

Canada hit 2 critical warning signs for a financial crisis
Yet another international organization is warning about Canada�s major debt problems, mostly tied to a housing addiction. The Bank for International Settlements (BIS), an international banking organization that serves as a bank for central banks, is flashing warning indicators for Canada. The warning signs mean that debt has reached critical levels, and will likely result in a financial crisis. The credit-to-GDP gap has reached a critical level in Canada. The BIS defines this as the �difference of the credit-to-GDP ratio from its trend.� That�s bankster for �it compares credit consumption to the output of the economy.� If the level is too high, the amount of private credit is �unjustified.� The lower the number, the more credit can be �safely� consumed. BIS considers anything above 2 to be a strong gap, and anything above 10 to be a critical warning. Breaching 10 results in a banking crisis in two-thirds of economies, within three years. Currently Canada is sitting at 14.1, the only G7 country to breach this level. China and Hong Kong are the only other countries that are higher. China is currently at 24.6, and Hong Kong is at 30.3. To contrast Australia is at -0.5, Germany is at -4.3, and the US is at -7.7. So we�re pretty far off the mark. Also worth noting that the BIS has also flagged Canada for a property price gap above critical level. This could complicate the credit-to-GDP gap even further.

Table with more data at the source: http://www.businessinsider.com/canada-financial-crisis-warning-signs-2017-6

# ? Jun 30, 2017 08:58

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Slim Jim Pickens posted:

China's twice-over "Most Disappointing Actress" Jing Tian looks a bit weird imo

I really don't think it was poop, just because of how pedestrian of a digusting fetish that would be. He would have just laughed it off if it was poop but instead he just goes completely silent if I bring up the subject.

Wildeyed crazy gf totally pegged the dude, he bit the pillow and cried afterwards. Lol.

# ? Jun 30, 2017 08:58

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Haier posted:

I saw Kong: Skull Island last night. When I saw the names Wanda and Tencent show up, I knew it was going to be a compromised movie.

She can't even speak English.

She's got that Asian plastic surgery grey alien face.

# ? Jun 30, 2017 09:04

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# ? May 29, 2024 21:44

Schurik: Sep 13, 2008

Haier posted:

OMG
This girl and her whining and her eyebrows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxJ9TBMoAL4

No surprise she (can't) longboard. Longboarders are weirdos.

EDIT: LOL, it's "empowering" to teach Chinese kids. HAHAHA

The vocal fry is killing me.

# ? Jun 30, 2017 09:11

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