/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

eh, if the part about the mom calling that girl's mom is true, that puts her squarely in "batshit crazy" territory

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:45

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# ? May 12, 2024 17:18

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

she probably is nuts and the loving kid drove her nuts. Most parents won't react super reasonably to their teenage children using any leeway they give them to drink themselves into the ER

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:56

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

nah, nobody can make anyone that nuts

# ? Jun 29, 2017 19:59

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

the kid is almost 18 and then he can move out if he doesn't like his mom so much

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:07

small ghost: Jan 30, 2013

hawowanlawow posted:

eh, if the part about the mom calling that girl's mom is true, that puts her squarely in "batshit crazy" territory

Yeah, if the part about the job and sitting with his friends is true also. Mind you, I think putting your 17yr old kid on essentially house arrest for being a party animal is dumb as hell regardless - I was a dumb party teen but I never drank myself into the ER, and was able to go to my parents the time I had a real emergency because I knew they'd deal with the problem first and talk to me seriously about not being an idiot later, not put me on house arrest for the rest of my youth.

I had friends who had parents like this mum and they were by far the dumbest and most reckless shitheads, plus their parents never knew where they were. Bet the kid goes on an insane bender when he moves out.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:19

Mak0rz: Aug 2, 2008; 😎🐗🚬

The only thing being a helicopter parent like that is going to accomplish is making her son resent her. It's probably not going to stop him from supposed destructive behaviors if he really wants to do them.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:22

small ghost: Jan 30, 2013

Please help me (M:25) stop thinking about my genitals, it is about to ruin my relationship of 5 years?

quote:

I'm ready to receive all kind of insults but please, remain constructive...

I have a big dilemma with my GF of 5 years: she does not want to have sex before marriage.

I have respected that for the past 5 years, never cheated or did anything. I'm still virgin because of that actually. However the temptation is at its highest level.

My problem is that I no longer feel sexually attracted to my GF. She's still the same, still pretty and beautiful, but perhaps the 5 years cockblock have ruined my desire for her. I have stopped watching porn, hoping it would help me.

I can no longer endure it, my genitals wants me to go elsewhere and explore. However, I am in a position in which I need to decide whether to marry her or not, like, right now (visa issues for her). I know how selfish it is to hesitate, especially since my GF is really the kindest girl ever, and she's really awesome and we've been together 5 years...That's a long time I know... I just feel so guilty about it and need to get this out of my chest...I'm just afraid to commit to marriage and end up making her unhappy, and myself included. The "what ifs" are killing me and the relationship is already about to end if I don't take a decision. I know I'm the only one who can decide, but I can't help but wonder if I can ever stop thinking about my genitals, if things are gonna get better eventually... Moreover, the thought that I'm wasting her time is putting even more guilt onto me.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:37

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Werong Bustope posted:

Please help me (M:25) stop thinking about my genitals, it is about to ruin my relationship of 5 years?

your genitals and let them roam free

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:38

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

Werong Bustope posted:

(visa issues for her)

get out get out get out

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:39

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

boner confessor posted:

the kid is almost 18 and then he can move out if he doesn't like his mom so much

It's at least implied that mom is going to pay for his college if he lives with her and attends the racially-pure community college of her choice, so she has that to hold over his head.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:39

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Straight White Shark posted:

your genitals and let them roam free

Mods please ban King Missile's rereg

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:40

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

get out get out get out

Ahahahhaaha. My poor dude, you are getting done the dirtiest.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:42

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Barudak posted:

Ahahahhaaha. My poor dude, you are getting done the dirtiest.

He's actually not, which is his main complaint

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:44

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

He stayed platonic with his crazy religious girlfriend for so long that he formed sibling attachment and now has no desire to gently caress her :lol:

# ? Jun 29, 2017 20:48

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

"For VISA reasons" has historically been such a huge red flag in r/relationships the bride-to-be smuggled it in from flying over the Kremlin before 1991.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 21:14

flick my Mr. Bean: Nov 18, 2014

Pvt.Scott posted:

Wasn't John Wick an entire movie about a man murdering hundreds of dudes because somebody killed his dog? By extension, the sequel is also about the original dog offense as the action stems from the events of the first movie. I guess I'm assuming a bit here, since I haven't gotten around to watching either yet. The point is, this seemed right and justifiable to audiences. People take their doggos seriously on the whole.

I hope John Wick gets a new dog and some mafia goon punches its stupid head off. Make it a trilogy.

Normally I don't enjoy action movies because it's just a bunch of people running around and I don't care but I loved John Wick because them killing the dog gave me a reason to want him to win.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 21:15

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

I want to sleep with my girlfriends father.

quote:

Okay so, I'm a 21 yr old female and my girlfriend is 23 yrs old. We've been together for around 5 months, seeing eachother for a little while more than that also.

My girlfriend works often, and usually pretty late. I often go to hers after I finish work and just do normal day to day things while I wait for her to finish work and come home.

Her father [around mid 40's] is usually at home at the same times as me and although I would never consider myself to be straight or bisexual there's something about him that really makes me want to gently caress him.

Now I've never been a cheater, or anything like that. And I'm also aware of things my girlfriend has done behind my back. We're not the usual couple. We both go after what we desire. Whether that means we cheat or not. But we enjoy the thrill, the excitement of things like this. Now I know if I asked her for permission she wouldn't be like "hey! Yeah that's great go gently caress my dad!" But we have even joked about this before and she has said while she wouldn't want to catch us in bed together, if that's thrill I want I should go after it. That was before I had these feelings.

He has hinted in several ways that he wants me too.

I am more looking to discuss this rather than listen to people tell me not to do it. But any insight will be appreciated.

TL;DR : I'm in a lesbian relationship but I am seriously considering sleeping with my girlfriends father.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 21:41

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

I see your nun girlfriend and raise you a
My [24 M] GF [22 F] thinks she's spiritually superior to me

quote:

My gf and I would both consider ourselves "spiritual". However, we differ in our beliefs. Her concept of god is much like a christian god (i.e. a man in the sky who grants wishes and answers personal prayers). She is a very observant person, and if she is at a crossroads in her life, she will notice something and believe that it is a sign from god meant specifically for her. She believes we have a destiny but also believes in free will (i.e. we have a destined end-goal but our choices determine how we get there). She is very into the sort of spirituality having to do with chakras, astrology, etc. She thinks believing in those things makes her more spiritual than me, as if she operates on a higher spiritual plane or is spiritually superior to me.

Now I will explain my take on the matter. I think there is definitely a god/something transcendental. For there not to be one is much more absurd to me (i.e. why is there something instead of nothing?) Only something entirely transcendental can explain it. Science can never explain that and science is also unlikely to ever comprehensively explain consciousness, or intentionality. And the arguments purporting/trying to explain away those things aren't philosophically-grounded in my opinion. I don't believe in a magic man in the sky that grants wishes. That simplistic perception of religion is what gives faith and belief in god a bad name I think. Early Christianity was actually very different from that.

She sees my faith as an obstacle in that I don't believe things are "meant to be" or god grants prayers and sends signs. She thinks I'm less spiritual because of it.

We were at a concert where the music was largely comprised of melodic instrumentals. We were enjoying the concert and each other's company. We were holding each other and we kept touching our foreheads together. She was explaining to me on the ride home that that was because that's where our third eye chakra is and where we experience love or intuition (don't quote me on that but something along those lines). I was intrigued and we talked about it. It's not like I'm incapable of discussing things that I don't necessarily agree with myself. But I don't think about stuff like that. It's not intuitive for me, and that is part of what annoys her about my spirituality.

She thinks with her emotions for the most part. I have emotions as well and I express them. It's not like I don't communicate with her. But I balance my emotional thinking with rational thought. I'm a logical person who considers things from all angles. She says people need to stop thinking so rationally and logically and think more with their hearts and emotions, and we need a spiritual revolution, etc etc. I just can't agree with that. Emotions don't always lead you down a righteous path. Emotions can lead to bad decisions. You get my point.

Last night, she was explaining some sign she claims was sent to her (she saw a cockroach in her friend's closet and it represented something about her sexuality and attraction to girls - I can't remember completely. But she said her friend channeled and sent that cockroach through god or something and that it was absolutely no coincidence that she crossed paths with it) and I was listening. There was no indication that I was trying to invalidate her beliefs, no matter how ridiculous that sounds in my own mind. She does know that I don't think like that so she cut herself off and started saying she didn't feel she could tell me this stuff because I don't believe it like she does. I told her I was fully listening and asked what the problem was. And she says, "Ok then tell me, do you believe me when I say that this sign was sent to me by god?" I told her that whether I do or don't was irrelevant to her story.

She gets frustrated that I don't mirror her beliefs. She believes in more of this new age hippy sort of spirituality and as a result it comes off as though she believes she is more spiritual than I am when really I'm no more doubtful of the existence of a god than her. I believe but my beliefs are more agnostic (i.e. you can't know the intentions of god or ascribe divinity to everyday things and say it's a sign meant specifically for you).

It annoys me that while yes the difference may be problematic, she sees herself as having the spiritual high ground. I think that bugs me more than anything. While I don't agree, I certainly don't judge like she does.

We love each other a lot and have been dating for about 3 years (a couple breaks here and there (we were in college so I think it was healthy we didn't eat up the other's college experience by being in a relationship) and everything else is fine but recently since she connected with her friend who is super into chakra/astrology/yoga/meditation and all that who she thinks is the perfect human being, this issue has been more pressing.

And if this difference is insurmountable and inevitably ends in a breakup, she'll see it as "he just wasn't spiritual enough for me." I know that shouldn't bother me and I should be able to be the bigger person and be on my way, but that pisses me off.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 21:41

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I see your nun girlfriend and raise you a
My [24 M] GF [22 F] thinks she's spiritually superior to me

both of them just to be safe

# ? Jun 29, 2017 21:48

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

rofl okay one that's actually funny

I {27F} was hired at a company because they thought I was Asian. I'm not and now I don't know what to do.

quote:

Soooooooooo I'm totally white bread but I have some features that I guess make people think I have Asian heritage, like almond eyes and being pretty petite and stuff, and honestly this isn't the first time I've had to tell someone that I am actually just a white girl. It doesn't happen THAT often, but it's happened maybe 10 or so times throughout my life, so it's enough of a thing but not enough that it's constantly on my mind.

About 2 months ago I was hired at an environmental construction firm and I'm very excited about this job because it's in my field, the pay is fantastic, it halves my commute and everyone has been just wonderful to me and I really love the work I'm doing.

Well in a meeting one of our other engineers who actually IS Chinese made a joke about how the company seems super legit because we have two Asian engineers and so I just kind of giggled but then when the meeting let out it occurred to me that they must think I'm the other Asian engineer because the two others are most definitely not.

I kind of let it slide because the moment had passed BUT THEN I was talking with one of my co-workers in the break room and granted she is the company "gossip" so who knows if this is true, but she mentioned the company passing over a (it sounds like) much more experienced dude because our CEO (who is Chinese) "likes to hire Chinese people when he can".

And now that this poo poo has kind of hit me I'm noticing ALL THESE OTHER MOMENTS when I think people were assuming I was Chinese when I thought they were just like...being friendly? Like asking me where my families from, and telling me about the most authentic Chinese place near our office....and now I have no idea what to do.

Like I feel because I didn't realize what was going on it's gonna be super weird correcting everyone, but I can't just pretend to be Chinese so I gotta figure out something. I'm also worried that my boss is going to think of me differently if he finds out I'm just a white girl. I also don't really know how to go about correcting everyone at this point in the least weird and awkward way. Help please?

tl;dr - I'm white but co-workers think I'm Asian and boss possibly hired me because he though I was Chinese

TFW the company dinner with chopsticks is more stressful than your performance review

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:01

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

rofl okay one that's actually funny

I {27F} was hired at a company because they thought I was Asian. I'm not and now I don't know what to do.

TFW the company dinner with chopsticks is more stressful than your performance review

hahahahahahahahaha

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:02

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

rofl okay one that's actually funny

I {27F} was hired at a company because they thought I was Asian. I'm not and now I don't know what to do.

TFW the company dinner with chopsticks is more stressful than your performance review

lmaooooo girl should write a Black Like Me sequel when she gets out

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:07

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

Oh sweet Jesus time to order Rosetta Stone Mandarin and hit it hard. LOLLin.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:07

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

i know a guy who looks asian but he's white as hell. it's all about the eye shape

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:08

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

rofl okay one that's actually funny

I {27F} was hired at a company because they thought I was Asian. I'm not and now I don't know what to do.

TFW the company dinner with chopsticks is more stressful than your performance review

Seems like the answer is to just tell the office gossip and let her take care of the rest.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:09

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Batterypowered7 posted:

Seems like the answer is to just tell the office gossip and let her take care of the rest.

My solution would be to tell no one while not confirming anything. At some point you might reach a make or break "lie or don't lie" choice but probably not for awhile. Gotta be as entrenched as possible before letting anything slip.

I might even consider learning mandarin, though a less common dialect like shanghainese will reduce the chance that anyone tries to speak with you.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:13

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

The solution is pretend you have no idea as long as possible.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:14

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

My solution would be to tell no one while not confirming anything. At some point you might reach a make or break "lie or don't lie" choice but probably not for awhile. Gotta be as entrenched as possible before letting anything slip.

I might even consider learning mandarin, though a less common dialect like shanghainese will reduce the chance that anyone tries to speak with you.

This, though I probably wouldn't go so far as to learn a different language, even if it's just a few words, because then you're actively feeding into the deception. I feel you want to avoid feeding it actively because then you have plausible deniability that you never said or pretended to be something you're not.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:16

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Pick posted:

The solution is pretend you have no idea as long as possible.

Sometimes the safest approach is also the most hilarious

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:17

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

My solution would be to tell no one while not confirming anything. At some point you might reach a make or break "lie or don't lie" choice but probably not for awhile. Gotta be as entrenched as possible before letting anything slip.

I might even consider learning mandarin, though a less common dialect like shanghainese will reduce the chance that anyone tries to speak with you.

Comedy option: Uighur. Watch them panic cause they hired onna dem muslim chinamen

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:22

CodfishCartographer: Feb 23, 2010; Gadus Maprocephalus; Pillbug

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I want to sleep with my girlfriends father.

Hmm yes this sounds like a natural and healthy relationship.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:23

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

MF_James posted:

This, though I probably wouldn't go so far as to learn a different language, even if it's just a few words, because then you're actively feeding into the deception. I feel you want to avoid feeding it actively because then you have plausible deniability that you never said or pretended to be something you're not.

Yeah learning a language definitely puts you in the "lie" camp.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:29

Tender Bender: Sep 17, 2004

Batterypowered7 posted:

Seems like the answer is to just tell the office gossip and let her take care of the rest.

This seems like it would run the risk of people thinking you were intentionally lying/misleading. If you do tell someone gotta be very public and transparent.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:34

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Tender Bender posted:

This seems like it would run the risk of people thinking you were intentionally lying/misleading. If you do tell someone gotta be very public and transparent.

But then we don't get a comedy update where the situation's gone to poo poo.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:44

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Easiest solution if it ever comes up: say you're Chinese, but that you were adopted by white people.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:57

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Batterypowered7 posted:

But then we don't get a comedy update where the situation's gone to poo poo.

Yes, I demand everyone else's lives be situation comedies to contrast with the tragedy that is mine.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:58

ranbo das: Oct 16, 2013

I'm waiting for the twist where she finds out she's adopted.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 22:58

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Im waiting for the update where she asks if the FBI prosecutes people for sending classified data to random Chinese nationals like her boss keeps making her do.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 23:12

spite house: Apr 28, 2009

boner confessor posted:

i know a guy who looks asian but he's white as hell. it's all about the eye shape

I used to date a guy who looked Asian -- epicanthic eye fold, olive skin, jet-black hair -- but insisted he was white as hell, German and Irish. He did the 23andme thing and it turned out he has a substantial amount of Native American ancestry on both sides, making him the only white person in America who doesn't claim NA but actually is, instead of the reverse. Gene expression and human migration patterns are weird.

Too bad he was a raging narcissist, dude was rrrrreal fine.

# ? Jun 29, 2017 23:20

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# ? May 12, 2024 17:18

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

flosofl posted:

Yes, I demand everyone else's lives be situation comedies to contrast with the tragedy that is mine.

You've come to the right forums!

# ? Jun 29, 2017 23:52

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