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DivineCoffeeBinge posted:This. Office Space Peter: What would you do if you had a million dollars? I would relax... I would sit on my rear end all day... I would do nothing. Lawrence: Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin: he's broke, don't do poo poo.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 04:49 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 03:32 |
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Gotta say, child sex ring goon, you seem to be handling your whole situation better than just regular goons that have to deal with a 30 minute downtime of Diablo 3. edit: loq posted:Okay, well, I appreciate the praise, but I assure you that if you have actual serious problems, this thread is not the next best thing to therapy. I spend more time making fun of confessors than actually giving them advice, and this last page is mostly pirate jokes. Sky pirate jokes. Let's get this right. Solice Kirsk fucked around with this message at 05:56 on Jul 4, 2017 |
# ? Jul 4, 2017 05:53 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:Sky pirate jokes. Let's get this right. Don Carnage: cool or lame?
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 06:04 |
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Disney villain = cool There are very few exceptions to that. The Horned King, Maleficent, Gaston, Scar, Gronk form the first Emperor's New Groove. Yeah, they all rule.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 06:31 |
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I'm just feeling this out. For some reason, I worried that question could only be answered in a horrible way.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 06:49 |
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Gynovore posted:Obviously fake, but you didn't even pick a good example. "I'm Blue" is a cool song but it topped out at 6 on Billboard. And the music video was rated the 35th worst ever.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 06:49 |
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He's obviously just a plant from the Venga Boys to thwart the creative genius that is Eiffel 65. Nice try you shill!
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 07:07 |
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Found the namesake post for the thread title and I'm underwhelmed. Also surprised no one mentioned that therapists are jokingly said to learn about therapy to fix themselves. Further surprised no one interpreted it as a gloat confession, as if the immense taboo would be lost on anyone. Okay I take that back, it was a good confession.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 07:47 |
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Elsa posted:Found the namesake post for the thread title and I'm underwhelmed. Also surprised no one mentioned that therapists are jokingly said to learn about therapy to fix themselves. Further surprised no one interpreted it as a gloat confession, as if the immense taboo would be lost on anyone. Read the subsequent 'fessions.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 08:21 |
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Guni posted:Read the subsequent 'fessions. The therapy follow ups also seemed like more gloating. The rest of the confessions were okay.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 10:25 |
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Gynovore posted:Obviously fake, but you didn't even pick a good example. "I'm Blue" is a cool song but it topped out at 6 on Billboard. And the music video was rated the 35th worst ever. I suspect that one might have been a joke we may have been bamboozled here quote:I just ruined my life, my wife's life, and my 2 sons' lives. yikes If I were you I'd have quit "in protest" before taking the test, a little plausible deniability there, but what's past is past quote:I'm a reformed pedophile. Obviously, I don't tell people this, let alone on these forums. Sounds about right, but even if you keep yourself on the straight and narrow for the rest of your life that one girl is still hosed-up permanently Seek therapy. Even if you don't want to admit to what you did explicitly to the therapist, you seem pretty aware that everything was caused by your own issues and you should get them addressed.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 13:27 |
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it's another holiday doublepost, happy america day everyone quote:Church is pretty important to my girlfriend and, in order to get closer to her, I've started going with her and her family every Sunday. She's never said I need to go, but it's definitely helping our relationship and I'm sure it's helping my relationship with her parents. I wouldn't worry, as I understand it nobody else in the whole drat building is paying attention at all quote:First off, gently caress YOU DONALD TRUMP. If a Republican politician tells you he is going to help you, and you are not rich, he is lying. He in fact cannot help you, even if he wanted to, because it is impossible to do this as a Republican. Their system doesn't allow it. Too many Very Important People would disapprove. Conservative populism in the 21st century is bullshit lies and unicorn dreams, and what we're seeing right now is solid proof.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 13:32 |
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quote:First off, gently caress YOU DONALD TRUMP. Fuckin lol
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 13:39 |
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Pedogoon skip the therapy and just kill yourself.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 13:39 |
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Ah, the classic fable of the scorpion and the idiot.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 13:43 |
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Also I have no sympathy for you if you voted Republican. It's probably a fake confession though.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 13:45 |
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Druggoon, just say you got busted for the cocaine you took. Yeah you're gonna still end up in an argument but a much smaller one. Also stop drug driving you colossal oval office
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:04 |
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Pirate eyepatches aren't for missing eyes, you uncultured dickheads. It's so your one eye is accustomed to the dark for when you go below deck.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:10 |
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KomodoWagon posted:Pirate eyepatches aren't for missing eyes, you uncultured dickheads. It's so your one eye is accustomed to the dark for when you go below deck. sky pirates have electricity and gas lamps you terrestrial plebeian.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:14 |
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mfcrocker posted:Druggoon, just say you got busted for the cocaine you took. Yeah you're gonna still end up in an argument but a much smaller one. Driving your kids and spouse around while drugged up is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. Get help, this is a wake-up call.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:14 |
Nocheez posted:Driving your kids and spouse around while drugged up is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:16 |
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Druggoon, your story doesn't make sense. Who has their bachelor party and their wedding in the same weekend? Unless you live in the 'Bachelor' movie universe?
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:23 |
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KomodoWagon posted:Pirate eyepatches aren't for missing eyes, you uncultured dickheads. It's so your one eye is accustomed to the dark for when you go below deck. "He said, wearily unsheathing his 16th Century Janissary sword".
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:32 |
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shut up blegum posted:Druggoon, your story doesn't make sense. Who has their bachelor party and their wedding in the same weekend? Unless you live in the 'Bachelor' movie universe? I'll take "people who left their hometowns" for 200, Alex. People fly in for weddings so everything gets compressed.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:38 |
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You may be able to demand a retest if it comes back super hosed up. Just deny everything and say thee's no way it could have come back like that because you were just at a wedding with your kids. Go on a huge cleanse right now and hope they let you piss again. If you come back clean with in a couple days then they may chalk it up to some sort of weird contamination. From my experience, when companies usually do this it's to fire a very select person, but they have to check everyone to make it fair. They may not even give a poo poo about your results.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:42 |
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Yeah, I was going to say the same thing; sometimes those screwy out-of-nowhere mass piss tests are just window dressing to easily get rid of a bunch of people the company already wants gone, and if you're on the 'keep list', your results go in the shitter. The coke thing is bad, though, Adderall probably would have been better in terms of job security.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 16:12 |
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Solice Kirsk posted:You may be able to demand a retest if it comes back super hosed up. Just deny everything and say thee's no way it could have come back like that because you were just at a wedding with your kids. Go on a huge cleanse right now and hope they let you piss again. If you come back clean with in a couple days then they may chalk it up to some sort of weird contamination. From my experience, when companies usually do this it's to fire a very select person, but they have to check everyone to make it fair. They may not even give a poo poo about your results. Demand a retest, get some fake piss overnighted. I know several people in fields that get tested who swear by the stuff.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 16:59 |
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lol at being drug tested at work
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 17:02 |
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Jose posted:lol at being drug tested at work haha this but seriously there's a million ways to beat a piss test if you're a drug champ pro. this guy is a scrub tier user. why would you take the test you know you'll fail? just duck out and grab some fake piss, clean piss, doctored piss, secret piss, etc.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 17:28 |
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pissovernight.com Is probably a real site? Not gonna try it
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 17:40 |
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KomodoWagon posted:Pirate eyepatches aren't for missing eyes, you uncultured dickheads. It's so your one eye is accustomed to the dark for when you go below deck. shut the gently caress up shitstain
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 17:44 |
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loquacius posted:I wouldn't worry, as I understand it nobody else in the whole drat building is paying attention at all I did the exact opposite of this and, in hindsight, it was the wrong thing to do. Church sermons are always bullshit.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:01 |
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shut up blegum posted:Druggoon, your story doesn't make sense. Who has their bachelor party and their wedding in the same weekend? Unless you live in the 'Bachelor' movie universe? I almost had to do this because my best man lived in Colorado at the time and couldn't afford to buy two plane tickets for two trips We ended up just having a destination bachelor party in Colorado, cause there's no way I'd have the energy to do both things in one weekend shut up blegum posted:pissovernight.com My favorite lowkey moment from The Wire is when a character asks a random 60-year-old white lady on the sidewalk "where the pee-pot at" and she immediately points him toward the guy who sells clean piss without a moment's confusion
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:20 |
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loquacius posted:I almost had to do this because my best man lived in Colorado at the time and couldn't afford to buy two plane tickets for two trips I missed this moment somehow.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:24 |
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It's in season 3, when Cutty is being convinced to go do drugs at a house party even though he has a probation drug test the next day
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:27 |
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loquacius posted:I almost had to do this because my best man lived in Colorado at the time and couldn't afford to buy two plane tickets for two trips You mean the scene where they buy the piss from the guy who gets it from the daycare center?
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:28 |
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quote:So yeah, I do drugs at times. Wife and I enjoy weed every few weekends to chill out, I go a bit harder but I'm safe about it. Weed takes two weeks to clear out of your system, you would have peed positive before then. Granted OP said there were no drug tests before, but still why risk your job when there are plenty of drugs that go through your system faster?
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:37 |
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Harry Potter on Ice posted:You mean the scene where they buy the piss from the guy who gets it from the daycare center? That's the one
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:39 |
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loquacius posted:It's in season 3, when Cutty is being convinced to go do drugs at a house party even though he has a probation drug test the next day oh yeah then i remember that scene lmao
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:40 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 03:32 |
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quote:First off, gently caress YOU DONALD TRUMP. fuckin lmao Makin America great again, one layoff at a time.
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# ? Jul 4, 2017 19:18 |