maswastaken posted:

I too find the Nathan Drake part a bit of a stretch.

Verisimilidude posted:

Edit: I've legit seen someone bleed out in the street from a bicycle accident (they hit a pothole and slammed face first into the street), but I just went to a bar and got silently poo poo faced while ruminating the meaninglessness and fragility of my own mortality, like a normal human being.

Verisimilidude posted:

Edit: I've legit seen someone bleed out in the street from a bicycle accident (they hit a pothole and slammed face first into the street), but I just went to a bar and got silently poo poo faced while ruminating the meaninglessness and fragility of my own mortality, like a normal human being.

Bibliotechno Music posted:

Did she do that thing girls do sometimes at the Y where they pretend to put their hair in a ponytail but then don't?

Verisimilidude posted:

Edit: I've legit seen someone bleed out in the street from a bicycle accident (they hit a pothole and slammed face first into the street), but I just went to a bar and got silently poo poo faced while ruminating the meaninglessness and fragility of my own mortality, like a normal human being.

TheMostFrench posted:

I love how she takes a horrible tragedy and makes it about her feelings 'Look how sad this made me! I had to watch a guy die! That's enough adulting for today.'

Zipperelli. posted:

Do they not have EMS where either of you two live?

Also, more importantly, do you realize how hard it is to "bleed out" from your face, short of massive trauma?

EmmyOk posted:

Are you talking about the image or the forum post? Hard to tell...

NtotheTC posted:

NtotheTC posted:

Verisimilidude posted:

Verisimilidude posted:

Verisimilidude posted:

Verisimilidude posted:

A classic.

quote:

When Your Gender Draws Fire
Awesome Workers, Emergency Services, Government, USA | Hopeless | June 16, 2017

(I always wanted to be a firefighter, though I am a female. I apply, but they just laugh at me. Later after that, I attend a meeting in a government building where the fire chief will be there to give a speech. To my surprise, she’s a female! After the speech, I sidle up to her.)

Fire Chief: “And how are you, young lady?”

Me: “I’m fine. I must say, it was an honest surprise that you would be speaking today.”

Fire Chief: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, I’ve always wanted to become a firefighter but when I applied, they just laughed. I think it was because I’m a woman.”

Fire Chief: “Well, that’s not very nice! Keep at your dreams. Look at me; I’m a female and I made it!” *walks away*

(The cynical side of me wanted to think that maybe she had connections or something like that. But her words gave me a bit of hope. Maybe someday…)

quote:

Repairing Your Faith In Humanity
Auto Repair, Awesome, Croatia, Transportation | Hopeless | July 1, 2017

(A couple comes into the car repair shop where I work, with their rather run down car. It needs quite a few fixes, but they can’t afford most bigger ones like some body work and a new clutch. They keep stressing about it during the entire time as they are obviously tight with money but they need the car to get to work. We manage to get the costs down as much as possible and set them up with a payment plan, but it’s still quite a bill to handle. They can’t afford to rent a car as a replacement from my shop so they leave on their feet, looking rather down. Soon after, a guy comes in with a very nice car for an oil change. While we’re going trough the details and payment he notices the young couple’s car on the shop floor.)

Customer: “Hey, mind if I take a look at that car for a moment?”

Me: “Oh, it’s not for sale; it’s a customer’s car that—”

Customer: “Oh, I know. I know. I just want to check something.”

(He walks over to the car and checks the license plate, some of the damage to the body, the tires, and finally looks inside through the window.)

Customer: “HA! Can you tell me what’s being done to it?”

(I list of the repairs we have agreed upon.)

Customer: “What? Wait, what about the front end?”

Me: “Actually, the people who own it can’t afford anything more, so we’re just doing what needs to be done to keep it running a bit longer.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah, they need it fast so we don’t have the time for any longer repairs, in addition to them not being able to afford it.”

Customer: “Hmm… Can I cover the costs of the repair? I mean, is that fine with the shop?”

Me: “Yes, you can! That’s awesome! Can I just add them to your bill?”

Customer: “Sure, but before you do, a couple of things. You’re going to fix that front end. It’s pushing the fluid container against the exhaust pipes, so it’ll melt if left alone. Actually, it’s probably damaged already so replace the container, too. Then you’re going to fix the horn and windshield cleaner spray-thingy; that’s been shot for years! And when we’re on with the things that haven’t been done for years — all new filters for oil and air. The doors also need new stoppers. Exhaust needs to be tightened down; it starts vibrating at about 2500 revs. New belts. New tires…”

(I’m amazed as customer has listed a lot of things we noticed wrong with the car by just looking at it.)

Me: “That’s going to raise the bill quite a bit, sir. It’s now actually up to—”

Customer: “Couldn’t give a f***! And a new gear selector! They still have that 0.50€ cloth top cover on it so I assume it hasn’t been replaced.”

Me: “Okay, sir. Sorry for asking, do you know the couple that owns it?”

Customer: “Never met them. Oh, and a new clutch, yes! I’m pretty sure I’ve shot that while drifting around corners with the bloody thing. And before you ask — yes, only 60 HP under the hood, but you can get him to slide if you know what you’re doing! Don’t recommend trying it, though.”

Me: “The price for the clutch is a rather high one, sir, as it’s an old model, so—”

Customer: “C’mon, mate.”

Me: “May I ask why, sir?”

Customer: “Oh, see, that piece of s*** was my first car; I loved it! Much fun was had in it! All the damage on to it has been done personally by me, I’m afraid… When I finished college and got a decent job I could actually afford something a bit better than a matchbox on wheels so I didn’t even bother fixing it up. I just drove it over to the first mechanic I found and gave the thing to him for free to use for parts. My guess is the f***er decided to get the better of some kid and sold him that!”

Me: “Maybe it was cheap?”

Customer: “Oh, come on. You’ve seen the monstrosity! A kick in the balls and some spit in the face would be too much to give for it in that state! The thing is, it’s actually quite a decent little thing once you fix a couple of issues that are plaguing it. Small, easy to drive, spends almost no fuel… The engine should still have less than 100k km on it, and I never had an actual issue with it. Transmission works like a charm, too. Oh, is the suspension fine on it?”

Me: “Yes, the suspension is actually in great shape.”

Customer: “Wow, really? I wouldn’t have thought, but I’ll trust the expert. I guess the problem was me going into turns too fast. Anything else that needs to be done to it?”

Me: “The stuff you listed is everything, sir. I guess you know it pretty well!”

Customer: “I drove the thing everywhere! Anyway, could you also get them a rental? It’s going to be quite a while and you told me they needed a car. Full insurance on it. And deliver it to them! It’s hot outside. I don’t want them coming here on foot.”

Me: “Of course, sir! Would you like me to let them know your name or a contact if they wish to thank you?”

Customer: “Not a chance. My car should be done already so please just wait until I’m gone before you give them a call. Actually, II would like to leave a note, if possible.”

Me: “Sure, I can type it in here and they’ll get it with their bill. Feel free to give it to me.”

Customer: “Please just write something along the lines of: ‘I hope you enjoy the car. I know I did when it was mine! I’m better off than when I owned it so I can finally repair it now. All the stuff should be fixed up. Sorry about that. Make sure you don’t upshift on a hill; it will stall. And if you get the chance, someday, pay it forward!””

Me: “All done! Your bill is now [significantly higher that just an oil change] and your car is ready to go.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’ll be seeing you for my next oil change! And make sure to give me a call if you find something else that needs fixing on the car.”

(After the customer drove away, I called up the young couple to let them know the good news. They were ecstatic! When they came in to pick up their car, which was now in more than decent shape, they let me know that they’ve been struggling financially for a bit and they had to purchase the cheapest car they found. The boyfriend worked two jobs and he absolutely needed the car to get from one to the other so getting a rental while their car was fixed saved them and the free complete fix on their car helped them make a couple of payments on their loans. I couldn’t have given them the information for the customer, but I have attached a note to his account on their request in which they thanked him and promised to pay it forward ASAP. During the repairs, we found out that the brakes were rusted, and the customer covered replacement of those, too. The final total bill for the repair was in the thousands of Euros.)

Tunicate posted:

Firechief

subpar anachronism posted:

Bogan King posted:

Even if this one is stdh any dad who sees it is now plotting to pull this stunt.

subpar anachronism posted:

EmmyOk posted:

They are both p clearly mocking typical STDH tropes, please tell me I have a tiny brain and I am missing your meta jokes because it's impossible you don't realise they are jokes.

Bogan King posted:

Even if this one is stdh any dad who sees it is now plotting to pull this stunt.

BobbyK posted:

I don't know, I could really see this happening!

quote:

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to let me in?

EmmyOk posted:

Yeah sure pal, how does an orange knock on a door?

Bogan King posted:

Even if this one is stdh any dad who sees it is now plotting to pull this stunt.