SA's Greatest Sagas: careful that's a load-bearing slur

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > SA's Greatest Sagas: careful that's a load-bearing slur

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a kitten: Aug 5, 2006

sneakyfrog posted:

in E/N you simply cant.

I did now know that, but i'm glad to learn it.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:31

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# ? May 21, 2024 06:07

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

sneakyfrog posted:

in E/N you simply cant.

So beautiful

# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:32

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Well you can now. But you couldn't for a few years.

It got changed after the great doxxing saga earlier this year.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:40

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Zore posted:

Well you can now. But you couldn't for a few years.

It got changed after the great doxxing saga earlier this year.

awwww.

which doxxing saga?

# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:42

Nude: Nov 16, 2014; I have no idea what I'm doing.

sneakyfrog posted:

awwww.

which doxxing saga?

Pretty sure this one: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3806750

# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:48

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Nude posted:

Pretty sure this one: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3806750

oh that loving shitshow alright then

# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:52

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK: Sep 11, 2008; Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
-Cheap Trick; Nap Ghost

Does anyone have the link to Fire complaining in QCS that they couldnt edit their post in E/N about suing a woman's shelter

# ? Jul 4, 2017 14:55

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK: Sep 11, 2008; Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
-Cheap Trick; Nap Ghost

wait it was still in my bookmarks

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3755994&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

# ? Jul 4, 2017 15:00

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

Nude posted:

Pretty sure this one: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3806750

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite (or Request): Coldly Compiled Lists > the greatest sagas of SA forums: Voldemort's harassment of his mother finally became too much for him to bear

# ? Jul 4, 2017 15:10

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Screaming Idiot posted:

Please please please tell me this is real, I want to believe so much

It is 100% real.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 15:26

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; Ultra Carp

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite (or Request): Coldly Compiled Lists > the greatest sagas of SA forums: Voldemort's harassment of his mother finally became too much for him to bear

The Boy Who Doxxed

# ? Jul 4, 2017 15:42

Snow Cone Capone: Jul 31, 2003

exploded mummy posted:

wait it was still in my bookmarks

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3755994&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

mods pls change my name to "brand name energy drinks" tia

# ? Jul 4, 2017 15:47

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

blibbity blobbity my dicks gone slobbery

# ? Jul 4, 2017 17:14

Nuns with Guns: Jul 23, 2010; It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

Palpek posted:

Also the rapsheet:

someone post/link his six hour drug-fueled goddess sex story

# ? Jul 4, 2017 17:30

Nuns with Guns: Jul 23, 2010; It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

Wait I found it

gentle pete posted:

At the risk of sounding like a sex crazed pervert...

I have a sex toy called "Venus 2000", or now "Venus for Men". Im sure you're all familiar with the sybian, well this is the male equivalent.

Lube it up, turn it on and it starts sucking and stroking on your cock like an insatiable cock whore. The thing I like about it is that it can go for hours as long as you keep lubed up. Ive gone as long as three hours while edging before. The best thing about the venus by far is the fact that it can stroke your cock with or without an erection, it doesn't care one bit since it sucks you in, and strokes off your dick with air pressure.

Anyways, a while ago I got this hair brained idea to get a bunch of audio clips of women getting hosed from all sorts of sources. But only of women getting hosed by men, or sucking on a dick. Wrote up a quick bash script on the computer to randomly play them. Longer clips get played one after another at random with shorter clips overlapping. Now I was set.

My boyfriend prepared 35 mg of 4acodmt for plugging while I got the venus ready. This was going to be a long duration experience so I opted for the silicone lube that lasts forever.

I lubed up, got the stroking part on my dick, plugged the 4aco, and laid back. My boyfriend put my blindfold on me, shackled my wrists and ankles and put the headphones on me.

He was listening to the audio through the laptop and controlling the Venus's stroke speed and the stroke height to match the audio. You can have it stroke as slow as 3 times a minute, to faster than your hand can go at 300/minute. And by way of a second control box you can control how deep it sucks your dick inside. You can have it be deep throating during practically the whole stroke or riding right up on top of the head.

At first I was hard as a rock at the thought of the experiment, but I started getting nervous about ten minutes in when the heavy dose of psilocetin started to alert. I was worried that I sjould have done some better editing of the sound clips, they were cutting in and out pretty harsh and thought for a while that would detract from the experience. Soon enough it didn't matter.

As the veil started to lift in my minds eye the moans and grunts and whimpers and calls to gently caress "harder" and "faster" and shouts and screams of ecstacy turned into a rolling broiling cacaphony of auditory ecstacy.

Ever since the dawn of man, gods have come to walk amongst us and laid their seed in our women. These goddesses had now had enough. They all descended from the various heavens and chosen me for their sole act of defiance. One by one they seduced me and begged for my seed. "Oh, oh baby I want you inside me." A gentle soft spoken and timid goddess whispered. I hosed her niiiice and slow. Another goddess interupted shouting for me to go "faster uh uh faster, yeah yeah yeah"

As my mind went ever more under the influence of the drug everything became chaotic and overlapped. I was being used by a dozen goddesses as their plaything being tossed back and forth between them like a ragdoll. For a while I begged for them to stop to no avail. Multiple times I felt myself getting soft but they kept sucking on my dick, and their vaginas turned into twisted slimy creatures unto themselves that slurped and pulled and grabbed at my limp dick incessantly until I was once again taken by the ecstacy and restored to full vigor.

The peak was so chaotic and confusing i cant even begin to express it. I was for sure being raped. I know I wanted them to stop. I begged them to. But at the same time I was in ecstacy.

I do remember the orgasm building up. Slowly, carefully. The goddesses had one shot and it had to be perfect. I had to hold it back. It had to a strong orgasm. Not just a big one but the strongest most powerful orgasm ever imagined by a human. For a moment they told me I would know what it feels like for Zeus himself to bust a nut. I came and she kept shouting at me "harder, harder HARDER!" My vision went nuts, i was seeing a field of white electric static and I felt it shooting throughout my body. I felt incredibly lucid mentally and remotely aware of my physical body. It was strainging against the restraints, grunting and growling like a caged beast. My p.c. muscles were contracting repeatedly over and over as they seamed to pump out all of my life force and sexual energy. The grunts and growls ftom my mindless body started to cede as more and more life force was being drained. The cacaphonous ecstacy of the goddesses slowly disappeared as my genitals still continued pumping into the alien orifice that kept massaging my cock for more.

The grunts from my body were rhythmic and uniform with the contractions. I was afraid. What had I done. They're going to take everything. Never the less i was still in pure unbridaled ecstacy the likes of which I could never express in words. Slowly over what seemed like an hour i felt the alien vagina sucking the last bits of sexual life force out of me while the contractions had stopped. I laid there in psychedelic blackness as that strange inhuman throbbing genital stayed attached slowly stroking my flacid cock in and out of itself. I was a play thing for the gods at a slumber party with too much wine. I was sucked dry and cast aside in the corner to be forgotten about for eternity with this autonomous disembodied genital forever attached to me.

"John." He spoke my name softly but it shattered my reality like sledgehammer. I gasped for breath and told him i was good and to untie me. I was still tripping slightly but i was well into the comedown by now.

I recorded a stream of consciousness accounting and laid together with my boyfriend in his arms

The next morning we compared notes and watched the recording. He kept a timeline during the experience which made watching the four hour recording much easier.

It was an amazing experience, but not something I'll ever repeat because for as amazing as it was, it was just as terrifying. It is by far though the best orgasm I've ever had.

this forum hosts the most brain-diseased people on it

# ? Jul 4, 2017 17:43

quidditch it and quit it: Oct 11, 2012

That is in the top ten of broken-brained poo poo I've read here. Oh the joy.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:11

Panfilo: Aug 27, 2011; EXISTENCE IS PAIN😬

Sounds like he had a good time.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:13

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Jose posted:

what the gently caress were they even looking at to get that into copy and paste

A quick google reveals that the text has been originally posted on 4chan's hentai/alternative board just an hour earlier than here.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:18

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

this explains so much about when i was threadmancing the original post and the amount of sex toy related references

# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:25

Nuns with Guns: Jul 23, 2010; It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

sneakyfrog posted:

this explains so much about when i was threadmancing the original post and the amount of sex toy related references

He also permanently has saggy breasts from abusing steroids. It's probably buried in another TCC thread somewhere.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:27

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Nuns with Guns posted:

He also permanently has saggy breasts from abusing steroids. It's probably buried in another TCC thread somewhere.

oh no. I was bright and shiny when i did that this morning, by that i mean i stared into Ţ̵̡͍̥͔̯̞͚͕̭͈H҉̵̳̻͓̻͎͓̘͡͡È̸͈̦͇͕̠͕̳̞̫̘̀͢ ͠͏̳͕̲̱͓̻͖̞̻̦̱̹͕͚̝̙̭V̵̸̪̣̱̼̪̫̯̘̯̺̳̲̱͇̙̻̟͖̺͘Ơ̶̢͓͎͔̹̦͔̫̠͕̱̱̝̰̖̤̣̹̝͝Ì̴̶̭̳̖̜͎̱̠͈̲ͅD̷͏̨͎͔̝͙͈̼͖̬͇͙͖̰̙̞̳̝̀͞ a wee too long for comfort this morning. by all means though. :ocelot:

# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:30

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

He also tore up his urethra and bled from his dick for days thanks to an obsession with inserting bigger and bigger things into his dick. Also when I read the thread when he talked about that, he simultaneously posted about his teeth turning rotten black from drinking too much cheap wine.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 19:55

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

God I wish that were me

# ? Jul 4, 2017 19:57

some plague rats: Jun 5, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Dr. Gitmo Moneyson posted:

I know but my life is kinda poo poo right now and I wanted to relive that moment on the 4th of July. I also want to watch the Daily Show and Colbert Report episodes from the day after.

Your life is poo poo, so you want to relive the time the entire US military spent a decade and a trillion dollars to kill one guy living in a cave

Sort your poo poo out mate

# ? Jul 4, 2017 20:53

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

Nuns with Guns posted:

Wait I found it

this forum hosts the most brain-diseased people on it

Work Friend Keven posted:

Basically this guy used a complex system of machines, computers, drugs, a boyfriend, etc. to give himself cum related PTSD. Not sure what the issue is or whatever.

manyak posted:

small brain - not getting your Dick sucked
bigger brain - getting your wife to suck you off
huge brain - getting your gay boyfriend to suck you off
Giant glowing brain - your boyfriend programs a computer to suck your dick until you become mentally ill

ArfJason posted:

Cabern of COBOL > custom winamp plugin bugged and opened rush playlist. Trapped in erotic drum solo hell please advi

# ? Jul 4, 2017 21:14

Altared State: Jan 14, 2006; I think I was born to burn

Nuns with Guns posted:

Wait I found it

this forum hosts the most brain-diseased people on it

I got hard reading that

# ? Jul 4, 2017 21:32

Megabound: Oct 20, 2012

steinrokkan posted:

He also tore up his urethra and bled from his dick for days thanks to an obsession with inserting bigger and bigger things into his dick. Also when I read the thread when he talked about that, he simultaneously posted about his teeth turning rotten black from drinking too much cheap wine.

Either different poster or we have 2 posters here who are missing their teeth from drinking too much cask wine who have suffered sounding accidents.

Toys For rear end Bum drew blood while sounding, posted pics then shoved maruka honey up his dick hole cause it's antibiotic and posted those pictures, and more. All in the GBS Aus thread.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 22:02

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Crane Fist posted:

Your life is poo poo, so you want to relive the time the entire US military spent a decade and a trillion dollars to kill one guy living in a cave

Sort your poo poo out mate

lmao

# ? Jul 4, 2017 22:27

Scudworth: Jan 1, 2005; When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons, and make super lemons.; Dinosaur Gum

We Know Catheters posted:

I got hard reading that

With that username? Duh.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 22:29

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Megabound posted:

Either different poster or we have 2 posters here who are missing their teeth from drinking too much cask wine who have suffered sounding accidents.

Toys For rear end Bum drew blood while sounding, posted pics then shoved maruka honey up his dick hole cause it's antibiotic and posted those pictures, and more. All in the GBS Aus thread.

Oh, I may have conflated two disgusting posters.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 22:30

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

Crane Fist posted:

Your life is poo poo, so you want to relive the time the entire US military spent a decade and a trillion dollars to kill one guy living in a cave

Sort your poo poo out mate

Osama is not going to sleep with you.

he's sleeping with the fishes

# ? Jul 4, 2017 22:34

some plague rats: Jun 5, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Ghostlight posted:

Osama is not going to sleep with you.

If I wanted to gently caress a guy whose only legacy is creating a hideous atrocity I'd call your dad

some plague rats has a new favorite as of 23:48 on Jul 4, 2017

# ? Jul 4, 2017 23:06

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

We Know Catheters posted:

I got hard reading that

Crane Fist posted:

If I wanted to gently caress a guy who's only legacy is creating a hideous atrocity I'd call your dad

# ? Jul 4, 2017 23:10

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

Crane Fist posted:

If I wanted to gently caress a guy who's only legacy is creating a hideous atrocity I'd call your dad

*whose

# ? Jul 4, 2017 23:31

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Ghostlight posted:

*whose

# ? Jul 4, 2017 23:43

some plague rats: Jun 5, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Ghostlight posted:

*whose

I don't know what your talking about

# ? Jul 4, 2017 23:49

projecthalaxy: Dec 27, 2008; Yes hello it is I Kurt's Secret Son

Is this the future that Star Trek wanted for us?

# ? Jul 5, 2017 01:36

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Crane Fist posted:

I don't know what your talking about

He'll never live up to his dad's standards, that's why he's only a grammar Nazi

# ? Jul 5, 2017 03:43

I. M. Gei: Jun 26, 2005; CHIEFS

BITCH

Megabound posted:

Toys For rear end Bum drew blood while sounding, posted pics then shoved maruka honey up his dick hole cause it's antibiotic and posted those pictures, and more. All in the GBS Aus thread.

And you're not posting links to this right now WHY???

# ? Jul 5, 2017 04:28

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# ? May 21, 2024 06:07

Altared State: Jan 14, 2006; I think I was born to burn

Scudworth posted:

With that username? Duh.

What?

# ? Jul 5, 2017 04:57

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > SA's Greatest Sagas: careful that's a load-bearing slur

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