Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

Caufman: May 7, 2007

*BONG*

Due to foreseen events, the departure of Jesus is ahead of schedule and the arrival of Jesus has been delayed.

*BING BONG*

# ? Jul 2, 2017 20:42

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# ? May 11, 2024 21:41

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

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Ceciltron posted:

Caufman rapidly becoming one of my favourite posters itt.

Wholeheartedly agree.

# ? Jul 2, 2017 20:43

System Metternich: Feb 28, 2010; But what did he mean by that?

That would be a great magical realism/horror story ala S�skind's Perfume, I think

The story of a man who looks for God in the hearts of his neighbours. Literally.

# ? Jul 2, 2017 20:49

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

System Metternich posted:

That would be a great magical realism/horror story ala S�skind's Perfume, I think

The story of a man who looks for God in the hearts of his neighbours. Literally.

Holy poo poo yes, that sounds great.

love your av, too. I found a notebook in a little shop in London that had that picture on the cover and it's so nice I am nervous to write things in it. Love a bit of Dore.

# ? Jul 2, 2017 20:53

Ceciltron: Jan 11, 2007; Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!; Pillbug

Caufman posted:

*BONG*

Due to foreseen events, the departure of Jesus is ahead of schedule and the arrival of Jesus has been delayed.

*BING BONG*

I'm sitting in an airport and this could not be more accurate.

# ? Jul 2, 2017 20:53

Caufman: May 7, 2007

You're all very kind. I am the best of who I am because of the love I've been graced to receive, no less from the love you all send out in this thread.

# ? Jul 2, 2017 22:47

pidan: Nov 6, 2012

Caufman posted:

You're all very kind. I am the best of who I am because of the love I've been graced to receive, no less from the love you all send out in this thread.

I like how you post, it has a poetry to it

But honestly I love all posters ITT regardless of prose quality. You're cool

# ? Jul 2, 2017 23:04

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

Love you too friend :3:

# ? Jul 2, 2017 23:10

CountFosco: Jan 9, 2012; Welcome back to the Liturgigoon thread, friend.

System Metternich posted:

That would be a great magical realism/horror story ala S�skind's Perfume, I think

The story of a man who looks for God in the hearts of his neighbours. Literally.

Reminds me of the William Lane Craig debate recently posted to the Unbelievable podcast where the atheist debater who said that he genuinely looked for God was asked where he looked for God and he answered (iirc) in the theological/apologetic arguments or something to that effect.

That's a good place for finding an argument or a debate, but not a great place for finding God.

https://www.premierchristianradio.c...-vs-Daniel-Came

Trigger warning: slightly cringeworthy section where the Holocaust is brought up and WLC seems to imply that Israel's existence "justifies" the holocaust.

# ? Jul 3, 2017 03:43

CountFosco: Jan 9, 2012; Welcome back to the Liturgigoon thread, friend.

HopperUK posted:

Holy poo poo yes, that sounds great.

love your av, too. I found a notebook in a little shop in London that had that picture on the cover and it's so nice I am nervous to write things in it. Love a bit of Dore.

Engravings are the most underrated art form.

# ? Jul 3, 2017 03:46

Bel_Canto: Apr 23, 2007; "Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo."

CountFosco posted:

Trigger warning: slightly cringeworthy section where the Holocaust is brought up and WLC seems to imply that Israel's existence "justifies" the holocaust.

And this is why I steer far clear of the world of apologetics in general. Christian apologists, especially given their pretty heavy tilt toward right-wing politics and Christian Zionism, are for the most part blind, deaf, and dumb to the implications of a world-historical tragedy like the holocaust. They view it as nothing more than a problem of theodicy, and the implicit contention is always "if you just knew what I know, you'd understand that it's all okay." That response is neither theologically sound nor particularly Christian, and it arises out of theologies that instrumentalize Jews as nothing more than paving stones for the Messiah. Maybe this is too fideistic of me, but I don't particularly see the point in coming up with ever-more-complicated proofs for the existence of God in the first place. Nobody ever changed their life as the result of a logical demonstration.

# ? Jul 3, 2017 14:53

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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My priest actually preaches pretty frequently against Christian Zionism, explaining that the modern political state of Israel has no significance in Orthodox eschatology. He talked about this in his homily yesterday, in fact. With the 4th of July coming up, he talked specifically about nationalistic "us vs. them" or "God is on our side" or "God is on Israel's side" narratives. He used the genealogies in Genesis for Moab, Ishmael, and Esau, which are given between Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob's narratives, to show that even when one side is chosen, that doesn't mean God has necessarily rejected the other; he still makes nations out of the non-chosen descendants of the patriarchs, and they still have a place in his plan. He also related it to yesterday's reading, with Jesus and the Centurion, where Jesus praises the latter's faith above that of Israel itself.

# ? Jul 3, 2017 17:17

The MUMPSorceress: Jan 6, 2012; ^SHTPSTS; Gary’s Answer

I just learned from D&D that this movie exists: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3398066/

from the one review present, not only do they basically write every character as a backwoods mormon, but they also give the wrong verse numbers for the one line of scripture in the movie. who was this movie meant for?

# ? Jul 3, 2017 17:43

CountFosco: Jan 9, 2012; Welcome back to the Liturgigoon thread, friend.

Bel_Canto posted:

Nobody ever changed their life as the result of a logical demonstration.

I think you'll find that, logically, this doesn't hold up. :smug:

# ? Jul 3, 2017 22:19

Mr Enderby: Mar 28, 2015

HopperUK posted:

Is that what allows the evil skellington to rise? The departure of Jesus?

Ceciltron posted:

Jesus is what keeps the Evil Skeletons Within at bay.

Skeletons aren't all bad. Some of them live with Baroque monks, and some like to dance in German woodcuts. When judgement day comes, all the good skeletons will rise up and live in the Kingdom of Heaven.

# ? Jul 3, 2017 22:35

Tuxedo Catfish: Mar 17, 2007; You've got guts! Come to my village, I'll buy you lunch.

Bel_Canto posted:

And this is why I steer far clear of the world of apologetics in general. Christian apologists, especially given their pretty heavy tilt toward right-wing politics and Christian Zionism, are for the most part blind, deaf, and dumb to the implications of a world-historical tragedy like the holocaust. They view it as nothing more than a problem of theodicy, and the implicit contention is always "if you just knew what I know, you'd understand that it's all okay." That response is neither theologically sound nor particularly Christian, and it arises out of theologies that instrumentalize Jews as nothing more than paving stones for the Messiah. Maybe this is too fideistic of me, but I don't particularly see the point in coming up with ever-more-complicated proofs for the existence of God in the first place. Nobody ever changed their life as the result of a logical demonstration.

I mean, I agree, but only sort of. It's weird for me to hear someone say "it's nothing more than a problem of theodicy" because, like, that seems incredibly important once you accept the premises? There's no getting away from the implicit contention that you mention, even if you might be able to dress it up in a less personally hubristic way; you either accept the conclusions of theodicy or you don't.

# ? Jul 3, 2017 22:57

Bel_Canto: Apr 23, 2007; "Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo."

Fair; it's true that I view theodicy as an ultimately futile and bankrupt intellectual enterprise. But what I mean is that to them it's fundamentally an intellectual question, rather than one of the conditioning events of modernity whose consequences remain in the lives of countless people, especially Jews.

# ? Jul 3, 2017 23:43

Numerical Anxiety: Sep 2, 2011; Hello.

I think that the moral of the story is that whether one is a millenarian trying to explain the Shoah, a Marxist defending Budapest '56, or an accelerationist making the case for why Trump is actually a good thing, asserting a strong historical teleology is an assured path towards making one's self look like a complete rear end.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 05:10

A_Bluenoser: Jan 13, 2008; ...oh where could that fish be?...; Nap Ghost

Numerical Anxiety posted:

I think that the moral of the story is that whether one is a millenarian trying to explain the Shoah, a Marxist defending Budapest '56, or an accelerationist making the case for why Trump is actually a good thing, asserting a strong historical teleology is an assured path towards making one's self look like a complete rear end.

Amen!

# ? Jul 4, 2017 15:35

Valiantman: Jun 25, 2011; Ways to circumvent the Compact #6: Find a dreaming god and affect his dreams so that they become reality. Hey, it's not like it's you who's affecting the world. Blame the other guy for irresponsibly falling asleep.

Going to a Confirmation School Camp tomorrow. Don't know yet if there's anything there worth posting this time but I felt like telling that. Ten days teaching teens about the faith they're been babtized to. It's such an adventure and I'm so thankful that an institution like this is so popular. We had a meeting between the priest, myself and another camp worker as well as the bunch of slightly older teens that will work as group leaders today and I'm pretty hyped up. :angel:

# ? Jul 4, 2017 21:48

CountFosco: Jan 9, 2012; Welcome back to the Liturgigoon thread, friend.

Numerical Anxiety posted:

I think that the moral of the story is that whether one is a millenarian trying to explain the Shoah, a Marxist defending Budapest '56, or an accelerationist making the case for why Trump is actually a good thing, asserting a strong historical teleology is an assured path towards making one's self look like a complete rear end.

Does the singularity fall under this though?

# ? Jul 4, 2017 23:06

Numerical Anxiety: Sep 2, 2011; Hello.

I don't know the Singularity narrative all that well, but I suspect that their apocalypse isn't bound to a historical teleology. They think that the singularity is going to end history as we know it, but not that all of history is a process that aims towards the creation of a superintellegent artificial intelligence, right?

# ? Jul 5, 2017 00:47

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

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Probably depends on what you think about Roko's Basilisk.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 01:33

Numerical Anxiety: Sep 2, 2011; Hello.

That's right, forgot about that one. The Singularity stuff honestly reads like it was put together by some eager soul who really wanted to do a theology but who couldn't afford the licensing rights for the Bible; his eagerness not thusly quashed, he found a path forward basing it instead on rejected pitches for Doctor Who novels.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 03:01

JcDent: May 13, 2013; Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!

So it's like AM torturing you because you didn't make it sooner.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 05:18

Numerical Anxiety: Sep 2, 2011; Hello.

You mean a hangover?

# ? Jul 5, 2017 06:02

JcDent: May 13, 2013; Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!

Numerical Anxiety posted:

You mean a hangover?

# ? Jul 5, 2017 06:50

cerror: Feb 11, 2008; I have a bad feeling about this...

I just discovered the BCP. Seriously, why doesn't everyone have something like this? It is so insanely rad.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 04:22

System Metternich: Feb 28, 2010; But what did he mean by that?

cerror posted:

I just discovered the BCP. Seriously, why doesn't everyone have something like this? It is so insanely rad.

You mean “The Book of Common Prayer and Administration of the Sacraments and other Rites and Ceremonies of the Church according to the use of the Church of England together with the Psalter or Psalms of David pointed as they are to be sung or said in churches; and the form and manner of making, ordaining, and consecrating of bishops, priests, and deacons“? :v:

I've never actually read it, but it must be nice to have everything together in one book - we Catholics have the Missal, the Breviary, the Pontificale, the Graduale, the Antiphonale, the Benedictionale and probably a bunch of others I forgot.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 07:15

System Metternich: Feb 28, 2010; But what did he mean by that?

Cross-posting from the political maps thread over in D&D:

Patter Song posted:

The Babylonian Talmud: Baba Mezia 59B posted:
Why [the oven of] 'Aknai? — Said Rab Judah in Samuel's name: [It means] that they encompassed it with arguments2 as a snake, and proved it unclean. It has been taught: On that day R. Eliezer brought forward every imaginable argument,3 but they did not accept them. Said he to them: 'If the halachah agrees with me, let this carob-tree prove it!' Thereupon the carob-tree was torn a hundred cubits out of its place — others affirm, four hundred cubits. 'No proof can be brought from a carob-tree,' they retorted. Again he said to them: 'If the halachah agrees with me, let the stream of water prove it!' Whereupon the stream of water flowed backwards — 'No proof can be brought from a stream of water,' they rejoined. Again he urged: 'If the halachah agrees with me, let the walls of the schoolhouse prove it,' whereupon the walls inclined to fall. But R. Joshua rebuked them, saying: 'When scholars are engaged in a halachic dispute, what have ye to interfere?' Hence they did not fall, in honour of R. Joshua, nor did they resume the upright, in honour of R. Eliezer; and they are still standing thus inclined. Again he said to them: 'If the halachah agrees with me, let it be proved from Heaven!' Whereupon a Heavenly Voice cried out: 'Why do ye dispute with R. Eliezer, seeing that in all matters the halachah agrees with him!' But R. Joshua arose and exclaimed: 'It is not in heaven.'4 What did he mean by this? — Said R. Jeremiah: That the Torah had already been given at Mount Sinai; we pay no attention to a Heavenly Voice, because Thou hast long since written in the Torah at Mount Sinai, After the majority must one incline.5

R. Nathan met Elijah6 and asked him: What did the Holy One, Blessed be He, do in that hour? — He laughed [with joy], he replied, saying, 'My sons have defeated Me, My sons have defeated Me.'

The story goes on to say that Rabbi Eliezer ends up excommunicated and gets a cool X-Men-style power where everything he looks at is destroyed and ends up slaying Rabbi Gamaliel by accident. (The Talmud can get really strange sometimes)

But yeah, that is a story from the Talmud, a book chronicling running arguments by Jewish scholars over the course of 400 years about what exactly Jewish laws mean, in which Rabbi Eliezer gets God Himself to say "Eliezer's right" and Rabbi Joshua basically responds "No, you had your chance at Sinai to give laws, your time is over, it's our turn now" and God's like "OK."

I think I gotta start reading the Talmud

# ? Jul 7, 2017 09:26

WerrWaaa: Nov 5, 2008; I can make all your dreams come true.

cerror posted:

I just discovered the BCP. Seriously, why doesn't everyone have something like this? It is so insanely rad.

It's the best!

# ? Jul 7, 2017 19:37

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Crossposting.

verymoldy posted:

https://twitter.com/charleslawley/status/883261529390501889

# ? Jul 7, 2017 21:51

Keromaru5: Dec 28, 2012; Pictured: The Wolf Of Gubbio (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

# ? Jul 8, 2017 02:11

Caufman: May 7, 2007

Oof, right in the bloody innards.

# ? Jul 8, 2017 02:40

Bel_Canto: Apr 23, 2007; "Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo."

WSJ is some quality content and is super nice in DMs too. A++ would continue to follow.

# ? Jul 8, 2017 05:48

Paramemetic: Sep 29, 2003; Area 51. You heard of it, right?; Fallen Rib

Bel_Canto posted:

WSJ is some quality content and is super nice in DMs too. A++ would continue to follow.

Having missed the name in the Twitter quote I will just say I thought for a moment you'd lost your mind

# ? Jul 8, 2017 12:17

WerrWaaa: Nov 5, 2008; I can make all your dreams come true.

The Los Angeles Diocese of the Episcopal Church will be Facebook live streaming the consecration of their new Bishop today at 1:30 PST (about 1.5 hours from this posting).

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1592796427405208&id=143927335625465

# ? Jul 8, 2017 19:54