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Nit Wit Dog Shit
Sep 28, 2000

Toilet Rascal
Dean Spanos & Family

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aperion
May 15, 2007

i want to believe
Grimey Drawer
Dean Spanos and family. Outside of the Chargers, they're worth a trailer park home, half of a dodge on blocks, and a mostly-used bottle of ketchup. Alex Spanos built a real estate fiefdom in the greater San Diego area, of which Dean and his kids have pissed away over the years, and now their only claim to anything is the Chargers and little else. They've managed their football team about as effectively as the real estate business, and now have set fire to even that. I have a desire to see the Chargers crash and burn hard in Los Angeles because of these shitheads. I don't wish the same for the players, coaches or anyone not named Spanos in the front office, so yeah, conflicted.

Anyways, Alex is a douchebag too, I'm not defending him. He just happened to be competent at something, enough to buy an NFL franchise. His kids and grandkids, not so much.

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013


If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

Nit Wit Dog poo poo posted:

Dean Spanos & Family

Sataere
Jul 20, 2005


Step 1: Start fight
Step 2: Attack straw man
Step 3: REPEAT

Do not engage with me



Spanos and it isn't even close.

Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

aperion posted:


Anyways, Alex is a douchebag too, I'm not defending him. He just happened to be competent at something, enough to buy an NFL franchise. His kids and grandkids, not so much.

No one get's rich enough to buy a football team without being an evil mother fucker.

Also one more for the Spanos dogpile.

Ninurta
Sep 19, 2007
What the HELL? That's my cutting board.

gently caress the Spanos family.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

i don't like dean spanos because of what he did to my friend on here. i'm pissed off about it. i vote for The spanos family until such that any notable exceptions are made apparent to me by 'a neat cape'

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

Spanos Family Wins, 28-0.

And that concludes the first round of head to head contests, folks! We have eliminated 16 contenders. Here's how the candidates get seeded into Round of 16:



Once again top seeds face bottom seeds, etc.

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

Bill Belichick vs. Pacman Jones

Bill Belichick

Leperflesh posted:

William Stephen Belichick (born April 16, 1952) is an American football coach who is the head coach of the New England Patriots of the National Football League. Belichick has extensive authority over the Patriots' football operations, effectively making him the general manager of the team as well. He was previously the head coach of the Cleveland Browns.


Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Belichick and Bob Kraft: being generally evil and also Trump.

Belichick supported and presumably still supports Donald Trump. Also, he is... generally evil?

quote:

“Congratulations on a tremendous campaign,” Trump read. “You have dealt with an unbelievable slanted and negative media and have come out beautifully. You’ve proved to be the ultimate competitor and fighter. Your leadership is amazing. I have always had tremendous respect for you, but the toughness and perseverance you have displayed over the past year is remarkable. Hopefully tomorrow’s election results will give the opportunity to Make America Great Again. Best wishes for great results tomorrow, Bill Belichick.”

Here is Belichick whining about being "five weeks behind" other teams for 2017, on the occasion of receiving the MVP trophy for his superbowl-winning coaching:

quote:

"The NFL season, the calendar is what it is," Belichick added. "As of today, and as great as today feels and as great as today is, in all honesty we're five weeks behind on the 2017 season compared to the rest of the teams in the league."


Leperflesh posted:

Pacman Jones
Adam Bernard "Pacman" Jones (born September 30, 1983) is an American football cornerback and return specialist for the Cincinnati Bengals of the National Football League. He is a huge douchebag.




Zurreco posted:

Toss in Pacman Jones (who was recently arrested again for assault and spitting on a nurse while in custody) and you have the two biggest dicks in the NFL ON THE SAME TEAM. Their douchebaggery cost their team a guaranteed playoff win last year. They also downplayed some of the worst hits in the game in the name of winning (which, again, they didn't).

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/football/ct-adam-pacman-jones-arrest-bengals-20170103-story.html

quote:

Cincinnati Bengals cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones was jailed Tuesday on charges he head-butted police and spit on a nurse after being arrested for disorderly conduct in his latest brush with the law. Authorities said he was so combative that he had to be placed in a restraint chair.
...
Sheriff Jim Neil said Jones was "disorderly and combative" throughout his booking just after midnight Tuesday and had to be put in restraints.
...
Court records show Jones, who has a history of trouble with the law during his NFL career, is accused of pushing and poking a man in the eye, then struggling with Cincinnati police officers by head-butting, kicking and refusing to get into the police car. He then spit on a nurse's hand while being booked into the jail, police said.
The spitting, following his arrest on misdemeanor charges of assault, disorderly conduct and obstructing official business, resulted in a felony count of harassment with a bodily substance, authorities said.

A prosecutor said the altercation began when Jones started pounding on doors at the Millennium Hotel, near the Bengals' stadium in downtown Cincinnati. He then pushed and poked a security guard, authorities said.

Three weeks after that story ran, we were gifted with video of Jones being a huge dick to an officer, who he promised would soon lose his job:

http://www.tmz.com/2017/01/23/pacman-jones-arrest-suck-my-d-die-hotel/

Jones subsequently apologized:
http://www.denverpost.com/2017/01/24/adam-pacman-jones-apology-police-video/

Notably, Jones apologized after the video went public, which was three weeks after the incident. Not, you know, before, when he knew what he'd done but hadn't suffered bad publicity about it yet.

In May, Jones pled guilty to one charge of obstructing official business and was sentenced to time served - the two days he spent in jail after the arrest.
http://pro32.ap.org/article/cincinnati-bengals-pacman-jones-pleads-guilty-1-count

I am allowing this specific incident to qualify despite this punishment because

quote:

Municipal Court Judge Dwane Mallory dismissed misdemeanor counts of assault and disorderly conduct at the prosecutor's request after a plea agreement.
...
The judge cited Jones' apologies among a "multitude of factors" for his sentence.
...
The Hamilton County prosecutor earlier dismissed a felony count alleging Jones spit on a jail nurse.

Basically, he was only punished for obstructing police, on a plea bargain, and not for his actual assault on officers, nor for spitting on a nurse. And, the league has not yet punished him for this incident.

Even leaving it aside, please feel free to look at Pacman Jones' on-field behavior for inspiration with your votes.

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


Bill

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

pacquiao man for getting torched by joe horn, who certainly played pretty fast but is 45 years old at this time

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

Cavauro posted:

pacquiao man for getting torched by joe horn, who certainly played pretty fast but is 45 years old at this time

zero points. getting torched makes him a loser not a douche, and also on a technicality b/c you didn't use the bold tags

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

Fair

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World
Belichck will win by a landslide so here is a token Pacman Jones vote because that spitting poo poo is gross as gently caress, and he's been a huge rear end in a top hat and literal criminal forever.

Zurreco
Dec 27, 2004

Cutty approves.
Pacman is a douche.

Nystral
Feb 6, 2002

Every man likes a pretty girl with him at a skeleton dance.

sean10mm posted:

Belichck will win by a landslide so here is a token Pacman Jones vote because that spitting poo poo is gross as gently caress, and he's been a huge rear end in a top hat and literal criminal forever.

Your drat straight he will and I'll help Bill Belichck deserves to go through because seriously gently caress that guy. He wants everyone to think he's some kind of football savant who locks himself in some kind of basement lab cooking up new every offseason. But in actuality Bill's just a grumpy old gently caress who got lucky with the best QB to play the game, and his master stroke of douche moves will be the simultaneous retirement of Brady and Belichck.

Hunt11
Jul 24, 2013

Grimey Drawer

Nystral posted:

Your drat straight he will and I'll help Bill Belichck deserves to go through because seriously gently caress that guy. He wants everyone to think he's some kind of football savant who locks himself in some kind of basement lab cooking up new every offseason. But in actuality Bill's just a grumpy old gently caress who got lucky with the best QB to play the game, and his master stroke of douche moves will be the simultaneous retirement of Brady and Belichck.

A Colts fan I take it?

Ninurta
Sep 19, 2007
What the HELL? That's my cutting board.

Pacman Jones

He just keeps loving up. Bill is pure evil and is another matter.

bobjr
Oct 16, 2012

Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

Pacman does douchey things and people hate him for it. Bill Belichick does douchey things and people treat him much better for it.

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die
Grimey Drawer
Bill Belichick. Always side against management in a player vs. management dispute.

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013


If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.
pacman jones

korrandark
Jan 5, 2009
Bill Belichick

Ninurta
Sep 19, 2007
What the HELL? That's my cutting board.

Pacman

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret

korrandark posted:

Bill Belichick

King Hong Kong
Nov 6, 2009

For we'll fight with a vim
that is dead sure to win.

Unlike Pacman, who I think everyone despises, Bill Belichick's legacy is going to be secured by all the Boston homers in the sports media. This cannot be tolerated.

Hunt11
Jul 24, 2013

Grimey Drawer
Pacman mostly for the fact that Belichick hasn't really done anything this season that stands out from what he usually does.

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

Guys this is I guess a pretty close one! Currently Belichick 15, Pacman 12. Putting effort into your votes makes a big difference.

Shangri-Law School
Feb 19, 2013

Bill Belichick writes like how Trump speaks. It's gross.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

Belichick mostly for the fact that Pacman hasn't really done anything this season that stands out from what he usually does.

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo


Belichick

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007


counts as 3 points because the image is presumably relevant.

Ches Neckbeard
Dec 3, 2005

You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

Adam Jones posted:

“Didn’t I just tell you don’t ask me that?” Jones said. “You out the (interview). Turn around. Go back that way. See you. Next question. That’s his last interview for the year.”

Pacman

pillsburysoldier
Feb 11, 2008

Yo, peep that shit



Belichick is the alpha, doing what Trump is too afraid to do in public

pillsburysoldier fucked around with this message at 01:25 on Jul 9, 2017

Nit Wit Dog Shit
Sep 28, 2000

Toilet Rascal
I'm not a fan of Belichick, but c'mon, Pacman is way bigger of a douche than Billy 5 Aces.

Zurreco
Dec 27, 2004

Cutty approves.
Bellichick is old man douche. Pacman is young brazen douche that reaches kids.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

please be aware of cheaters who are trying to vote multiple times. in any case i vote for Bill

Hunt11
Jul 24, 2013

Grimey Drawer
At least this time you aren't being lazy about it.

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


If and only if Bill does not win this round, I nominate him for the d-bag hall of fame, for spygate, among other crimes against the sport of football.

Actually, gently caress it, consider it a HoF nomination anyway, because why not.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

iospace posted:

If and only if Bill does not win this round, I nominate him for the d-bag hall of fame, for spygate, among other crimes against the sport of football.

Actually, gently caress it, consider it a HoF nomination anyway, because why not.

You can't be in both in the same year.

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iospace
Jan 19, 2038


all-Rush mixtape posted:

You can't be in both in the same year.

If Bill does not advance then (unless this no longer allowed in the 2nd round on, because I did this with Trump earlier).

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