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Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




Post a new fesh

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TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches
sorry bout the derail folks my cockles got all cockly :smithfrog:


monkeytennis posted:

What does this mean?

pretty much what previous poster said, but there have been quite a few instances of folks being dragged to death, via cars and trucks. Not much of a threat to joe 'football' whiteboy usually.

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Runaktla posted:

All that said yes I'm a little insensitive compared to some. I'm not sure that the fact that certain groups were treated harshly means I can't mock them if they act over the top.

I'm gonna pretend you're actually trying to be reasonable and just haven't actually thought this poo poo through instead of posturing for Internet Points, because I'm just that kind of naive. So:

When you say something along the lines of "I don't have a problem with gay people as long as they don't act all over the top about it," what you're really saying - whether consciously or not, whether intentionally or not - is "I don't have a problem with gay people as long as I don't have to think about them being gay, as long as their gayness is entirely invisible to me."

And when you say that, you have a problem with gay people.

It's called "erasure," the removal of evidence of a group's existence, and it's a lovely thing to do, because the message it sends - and, again, this may not be your intent but it's the message that comes across regardless of intent - is that people should stop acting in the way they feel comfortable, people should stop expressing their identity, for your comfort. And any time you're saying that your comfort is more important than someone else's identity you're being an rear end, whether you want to or not. No amount of "I have gay friends" or "I've represented gay people in court" is going to change that.

It's a lovely thing to do, and you should probably stop - or at least spend some time thinking about why you do it. What made that particular professor's "flamboyance" so repugnant to you that you felt the need to mock him for it? Why do you give a poo poo? What possible impact could it have on your life? Maybe spend some time thinking about that kind of thing and how it comes across to other people instead of trying to absolve yourself of any possible responsibility by saying "I'm a little insensitive" like that makes it okay.

Just a suggestion.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

Post a new fesh

this all happened while I was at the grocery store

quote:

Will keep it short- 2 years ago I was fat, ignoring my mental health issues, abusing drugs and screwing around on my wife all the loving time. Ended up in hospital with a nasty random virus and as the standard tests for std's were waiting I became scared out of my mind. Promised myself to fix things up, hell I was nearly praying, and the tests came back clear.

So for the last 2 years I have lost much weight (I CAN SEE MY WHOLE DICK AT ONCE AGAIN!) and done what therapy I could get, some with my wife, some without. Got rid of some issues. Got a routine. Drugs and booze are down to a few beers and maybe a joint or two in a week. Haven't so much as flirted properly with another woman. Things are so much better, but I'm so loving bored. Keep trying "new things" and getting out and about and it's all just so gray and horribly dull. I can't go back, I can't seem to find a way forward, but I'm terrified a crisis will occur at a bad time and I will use it for justification to wander back into hell. I liked it there.

Self-destructive habits are not in fact the only way to have fun :eng101:

Look into hobbies I say

quote:

I got probated a while ago (not saying when so you guys can't dox me) for posting my real opinion in D&D and I'm going nuts not being able to post. I've actually broken down crying one night where I had so much to say but I lost my place to say it. I did the only thing I had left to do. I went to 4chan and started posting on /pol/ and /b/. I didn't just get probated there, I actually got IP banned. All for just having the wrong opinion. What is wrong with this country where anything farther to the right of bernie sanders is considered nazism?

he would have won tho

Anyway I think in terms of bad opinions getting IP banned from /pol/ should be considered a rock-bottom scenario

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

All Hillary supporters should be IP banned IMO. I mean, a bunch of them were, but a few slipped through the cracks.

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??
The way he words it makes him sound like he got banned from /pol/ for being too much of a nazi, and I'm trying to imagine that scenario

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company
Poligoon, if you got banned from /pol/ it wasn't because you were being too right-wing. You can tell because that's where all the fuckin' Nazis live. hth

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

McGavin posted:

All Hillary supporters should be IP banned IMO. I mean, a bunch of them were, but a few slipped through the cracks.

"Anything to the right of Bernie Sanders" is actually a Republican/alt-right giveaway phrase. Hillarymen do not like to admit that they are to the right of Bernie Sanders. If this were a hillaryman fesh, he'd be of the opinion that his beliefs are actually FURTHER left than gun-loving misogynist racist Republican infiltrator and non-true-Democrat Bernie Sanders, and he'd never have gotten probated in D&D for saying so

e: my lowkey favorite politics fesh is still the guy who blamed the election results on Cenk Uygur, that one's peak hillaryman :allears:

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??
We've taken Adolf Hitler's genetic strain and replaced all of his recessive genes with tweets by people with smug anime girl avatars, reddit memes, and a ten hour extended version of the UVB-76 Buzzer sound. The result is a man who can shitpost long before coming up with a salient point. He doesn't tire, the yelling never stops, and he...

...dear god he's escaped. The Specimen has escaped

Runaktla
Feb 21, 2007

by Hand Knit

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

I'm gonna pretend you're actually trying to be reasonable and just haven't actually thought this poo poo through instead of posturing for Internet Points, because I'm just that kind of naive. So:

When you say something along the lines of "I don't have a problem with gay people as long as they don't act all over the top about it," what you're really saying - whether consciously or not, whether intentionally or not - is "I don't have a problem with gay people as long as I don't have to think about them being gay, as long as their gayness is entirely invisible to me."

And when you say that, you have a problem with gay people.

It's called "erasure," the removal of evidence of a group's existence, and it's a lovely thing to do, because the message it sends - and, again, this may not be your intent but it's the message that comes across regardless of intent - is that people should stop acting in the way they feel comfortable, people should stop expressing their identity, for your comfort. And any time you're saying that your comfort is more important than someone else's identity you're being an rear end, whether you want to or not. No amount of "I have gay friends" or "I've represented gay people in court" is going to change that.

It's a lovely thing to do, and you should probably stop - or at least spend some time thinking about why you do it. What made that particular professor's "flamboyance" so repugnant to you that you felt the need to mock him for it? Why do you give a poo poo? What possible impact could it have on your life? Maybe spend some time thinking about that kind of thing and how it comes across to other people instead of trying to absolve yourself of any possible responsibility by saying "I'm a little insensitive" like that makes it okay.

Just a suggestion.
He would say "... and the ruuuuuuUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuulllle is..." dragging it out...

... or if he was making a point he would do a short little hop towards your desk with every syllable i.e. and *hop* I *hop* hope *hop* you *hop* knew *hop* that *hop* is *hop* the *hop* fed- *hop* -er- *hop* -al *hop* rule.

It made boring civil procedure interesting. I wasn't repulsed by it. I never said repulsed. It was noticeable though. He taught well. But he acted comically flamboyant.

As for gayness needing to be invisible to me, no. When I take a trip to Palm Springs (CA) I don't have a problem with gay guys holding hands walking down the street, acting affectionately, etc.

I'm just saying if somebody acts like they're attention seeking or over the top, or makes requirements on others which aren't so much functional but for self-importance, for any reason, then I may remark that they are being an attention whore.

Rumda
Nov 4, 2009

Moth Lesbian Comrade

Runaktla posted:

Homophobic bullshit

Shut the hell up

omnibobb
Dec 3, 2005
Title text'd

Runaktla posted:

He would say "... and the ruuuuuuUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuulllle is..." dragging it out...

... or if he was making a point he would do a short little hop towards your desk with every syllable i.e. and *hop* I *hop* hope *hop* you *hop* knew *hop* that *hop* is *hop* the *hop* fed- *hop* -er- *hop* -al *hop* rule.

It made boring civil procedure interesting. I wasn't repulsed by it. I never said repulsed. It was noticeable though. He taught well. But he acted comically flamboyant.

As for gayness needing to be invisible to me, no. When I take a trip to Palm Springs (CA) I don't have a problem with gay guys holding hands walking down the street, acting affectionately, etc.

I'm just saying if somebody acts like they're attention seeking or over the top, or makes requirements on others which aren't so much functional but for self-importance, for any reason, then I may remark that they are being an attention whore.

Dude

Here is what you think you are saying "this dude had annoying habits"

Here is what you are actually saying (edit: or at least coming off as) "this dude was annoyingly gay"

Like, when I take my kids to play pokemon there is a gay guy who yells across the store to talk to his friends. He has a super lisp and is hella flamboyant. These arent the reason he's annoying. He's annoying because he has no respect for the people around him and yells. See the difference?

omnibobb fucked around with this message at 23:50 on Jul 9, 2017

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
I had a buddy that developed a lisp once he came out after high school. He swears up and down that he always talked the same, but he didn't for the 8 years we knew him in middle school and high school (although we all knew he was gay). Took some getting used to, but doesn't really matter. Where did the "gay lisp" thing even start? It's such a weird stereotype.

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Drei Gläser
http://www.theonion.com/article/gay-pride-parade-sets-mainstream-acceptance-of-gay-351

Doctor Malaver
May 23, 2007

Ce qui s'est passé t'a rendu plus fort

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

It's called "erasure," the removal of evidence of a group's existence, and it's a lovely thing to do, because the message it sends - and, again, this may not be your intent but it's the message that comes across regardless of intent - is that people should stop acting in the way they feel comfortable, people should stop expressing their identity, for your comfort. And any time you're saying that your comfort is more important than someone else's identity you're being an rear end, whether you want to or not.

Unless that group is furries or some other group we don't approve of.

Duck and Cover
Apr 6, 2007

Hey guys I know this is a fantastic thread for discussion and all but might I suggest it be moved to https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3810079&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1 . I like my threads to be neat and tidy and when one starts looking like another I start to have trouble keeping them straight.

Runaktla posted:

To the anti-trans (sort of) guy I'm in complete agreement. My red text is because of a D&D discussion where I was annoyed by all the new supposed requirements re pronouns and stuff.

I think some are doing this for attention and to just be different/feel important for being different, gently caress em.

In law school I had an incredibly flamboyant teacher. I mocked the way he acted. Some thought I was rude.

My main response was, if the same teacher was an over the top guys guy and came in making sure everybody had the right opinion on the super bowl and acted like a drill sergeant, people would make fun of it and nobody gives a poo poo, most laugh. This is no different.

It's not anti-gay, just anti-attention whore imho.


Oh and as far as my opinion? Don't be an rear end. You know exactly why your comment would rightfully offend some.

Duck and Cover fucked around with this message at 01:07 on Jul 10, 2017

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

omnibobb posted:

Dude

Here is what you think you are saying "this dude had annoying habits"

Here is what you are actually saying (edit: or at least coming off as) "this dude was annoyingly gay"

Like, when I take my kids to play pokemon there is a gay guy who yells across the store to talk to his friends. He has a super lisp and is hella flamboyant. These arent the reason he's annoying. He's annoying because he has no respect for the people around him and yells. See the difference?

This is a good post

Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007

how about you suck the poo poo from my rear end

Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007

not you DCB, you're cool

Slugworth
Feb 18, 2001

If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

Runaktla posted:

He would say "... and the ruuuuuuUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuulllle is..." dragging it out...

... or if he was making a point he would do a short little hop towards your desk with every syllable i.e. and *hop* I *hop* hope *hop* you *hop* knew *hop* that *hop* is *hop* the *hop* fed- *hop* -er- *hop* -al *hop* rule.

It made boring civil procedure interesting. I wasn't repulsed by it. I never said repulsed. It was noticeable though. He taught well. But he acted comically flamboyant.

As for gayness needing to be invisible to me, no. When I take a trip to Palm Springs (CA) I don't have a problem with gay guys holding hands walking down the street, acting affectionately, etc.

I'm just saying if somebody acts like they're attention seeking or over the top, or makes requirements on others which aren't so much functional but for self-importance, for any reason, then I may remark that they are being an attention whore.
The thing is though, your world view exists entirely on this unprovable notion that this is not his real personality, he's just doing it for attention. Which, like, why are you so confident that's not just how he naturally expresses himself? How exhausting would it be for every flamboyant gay guy ever to be putting on a show every second of their life? How exhausting for every really 'girly' woman or 'manly' man to act the way they do, unless of course that's just who they are as a person??

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

loquacius posted:

This issue is kind of a live grenade on the Internet in general and I'm too tired today to really articulate myself well so I'll just leave it at that

And having found the live grenade, loquacious pulls the pin and tosses it.

bee
Dec 17, 2008


Do you often sing or whistle just for fun?
To the disability goon from a few pages back:

I'm a woman who met their partner through online dating. He didn't have anything in his profile that indicated that he was disabled, and he didn't mention it on our first date apart from saying in conversation that he had a dodgy leg. I didn't take that to mean that he was born with a bone deformity, just that maybe he'd had some injury or something that made it hurt. It's not obvious that he's disabled unless he's wearing shorts or no shoes. On our second date, he took his shoes off as we were inside and it was suddenly obvious that there was something unusual about his leg. I asked him a few questions about it, he answered, we moved onto the next topic of conversation. It wasn't a big deal to me and by that point I was starting to like him.

I didn't feel like he'd tried to hide it from me any more than I had omitted from my own profile that I was recently divorced. I don't think it's necessary or expected to lay out every bit of information about yourself on an online profile. Obviously, don't try to deceive people, but personally I don't think you're doing this by not mentioning your disability.

Hopefully all this gives you some helpful insight! Good luck to you :)

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014
My disability is my huge cock & the lottery winnings. Im so ashamed.

Streak
May 16, 2004

by Nyc_Tattoo

Runaktla posted:

He would say "... and the ruuuuuuUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuulllle is..." dragging it out...

... or if he was making a point he would do a short little hop towards your desk with every syllable i.e. and *hop* I *hop* hope *hop* you *hop* knew *hop* that *hop* is *hop* the *hop* fed- *hop* -er- *hop* -al *hop* rule.

It made boring civil procedure interesting. I wasn't repulsed by it. I never said repulsed. It was noticeable though. He taught well. But he acted comically flamboyant.

As for gayness needing to be invisible to me, no. When I take a trip to Palm Springs (CA) I don't have a problem with gay guys holding hands walking down the street, acting affectionately, etc.

I'm just saying if somebody acts like they're attention seeking or over the top, or makes requirements on others which aren't so much functional but for self-importance, for any reason, then I may remark that they are being an attention whore.

lol shut up idiot

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

Solice Kirsk posted:

I had a buddy that developed a lisp once he came out after high school. He swears up and down that he always talked the same, but he didn't for the 8 years we knew him in middle school and high school (although we all knew he was gay). Took some getting used to, but doesn't really matter. Where did the "gay lisp" thing even start? It's such a weird stereotype.

I read some thing that it's signaling but I can't remember it to well... it'd be interesting to hear more about

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747

Sue Eastside posted:

My disability is my huge cock & the lottery winnings. Im so ashamed.

Fake fesh

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

SniperWoreConverse posted:

I read some thing that it's signaling but I can't remember it to well... it'd be interesting to hear more about

According to wikipedia there's a study out there about it, but sounds more like a review of the speech pattern itself and not the origins which is what I'm curious about.

edit:
Wait, not Liberace. I can't think of who I'm thinking of...

Solice Kirsk fucked around with this message at 03:04 on Jul 10, 2017

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
There's a documentary Do I Sound Gay? on netflix that you guys can watch.

Guy with a disability, if your issue is going to be apparent on a first date or if it significantly impacts your daily life, imo you need to mention it or have a shot that includes it on your profile. Your friend is wrong, most people don't lie or mislead to such an extent, and the ones who do get a ton of poo poo. Don't waste your dates' time and your own.

Gynovore
Jun 17, 2009

Forget your RoboCoX or your StickyCoX or your EvilCoX, MY CoX has Blinking Bewbs!

WHY IS THIS GAME DEAD?!

Todd Bowden posted:

I went to 4chan and started posting on /pol/ and /b/. I didn't just get probated there, I actually got IP banned.

Ya know, if you actually got yourself IP-banned from 4chan, you might want to sit down in front of a mirror for a while. There's a teeny-weeny chance that your ideology might, in fact, be a bit off the deep end.

Just sayin'.

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Gynovore posted:

Ya know, if you actually got yourself IP-banned from 4chan, you might want to sit down in front of a mirror for a while. There's a teeny-weeny chance that your ideology might, in fact, be a bit off the deep end.

Just sayin'.

Like the other goon said, considering what is commonly posted on those boards, I highly doubt he got banned because of his political views. Those boards are where the edgiest of teenagers are always trying to one-up each other on how offensive they can be and they don't even get banned even if they are saying things that even Hitler would say are too extreme. My guess is he posted or responded to something actually illegal (and, again, considering what is commonly posted on those boards, /b/ in particular, I think we can all guess what it is) and the politics stuff is just a cover.

Il Federale
Oct 10, 2012



yeah I eat rear end posted:

My guess is he posted or responded to something actually illegal (and, again, considering what is commonly posted on those boards, /b/ in particular, I think we can all guess what it is) and the politics stuff is just a cover.

Yeah, this was honestly my reaction as well. I can't think of anything else that will get you banned from 4chan.

shut up blegum
Dec 17, 2008


--->Plastic Lawn<---
My anonymous confession is: some people claim they are trans just to get some attention =/= all LGBT should be hanged

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

shut up blegum posted:

My anonymous confession is: some people claim they are trans just to get some attention =/= all LGBT should be hanged

My anonymous confession is: behavior that is less lovely than "all LGBT should be hanged" =/= behavior that is not lovely.

Like, the bar for acceptable behavior need not be set at "well at least I'm not calling for genocide."

My second anonymous confession is: people shouldn't need to have this poo poo explained to them unless they have suffered severe brain trauma.

Anagram of GINGER
Oct 3, 2014

by Smythe
how long til this poop passes

kalel
Jun 19, 2012

I can't fathom the narcissism one must have to not be able to understand why trans people would want to be honest about themselves other than "for attention."

"Yes, let me identify as one of the most marginalized groups on the planet so I can get at best ruin my career and lose half my friends and family and at worst get stoned to death at the city square. Pssst... Between you and me, I'm not actually trans, I just want attention"

mfcrocker
Jan 31, 2004



Hot Rope Guy

SciFiDownBeat posted:

I can't fathom the narcissism one must have to not be able to understand why trans people would want to be honest about themselves other than "for attention."

"Yes, let me identify as one of the most marginalized groups on the planet so I can get at best ruin my career and lose half my friends and family and at worst get stoned to death at the city square. Pssst... Between you and me, I'm not actually trans, I just want attention"

I'm always amazed how this gets missed.

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

lol probiegoon doesn't know about parachute accounts

for fucks sake
Jan 23, 2016

Elsa posted:

how long til this poop passes

Just scroll until you see a post by the OP for the next day or so.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Speaking of passing poop

quote:

Have a story about poo poo:


When I was a child around the age of 8, I lived in a home with a standing shower. It had a glass door that made everything look like a blurry mosaic when you looked through it. The tile was dark blue. The faucet was easy to operate and I never burned myself because I was a smart kid, who was good at using the shower. However, there are three small things not many people know about my experiences with this shower.

a) When my mother determined I was old enough to take a shower on my own, I viewed this as a right of passage. I was a big boy now. I had to memorialize my solo shower somehow. I dug through the waste basket for an empty bottle of Scope, which I brought into the shower with me. I let the not-burning water pour down on my sentimental child body, making sure to soak the bottle. Once the label was soft and soggy, I scraped it off with my fingernails, and shoved the scraps down the drain. I filled the bottle with soapy water and closed the cap. For weeks I had this half-sealed bottle of sudsy water in my room. I was heartbroken when I found out my mother had thrown this bottle of stagnant water into the trash.

b) As I mentioned, the tiles in the shower were dark blue. My mom's hair was light red. You could see strands of long, red hair collecting on the tiles. Well, one day a hair caught my eye. It had a spec of white near it. I looked closer and came face to face with some sort of little, white bug. I don't know what it was, because my child brain replaced my memory of it with a cartoon bug, munching on a strand of hair like a single large spaghetto. It was gross. I puked on myself. I forced the chunks down the drain.

c) The drain. It was just a little metal grate over a tiled funnel. In the middle was a hole that seemed to go on to infinite. If you looked closely - which you will when you're trying to jam little half-digested hot dog bits down a drain - you'd see that there were no screwes holding this thing in place. You can just jam your tiny, kid fingers into the slits and remove it. My new tradition began.

So ... it's a bathroom. Why waste time peeing AND pooping AND then showering. I'm a child of invention. I'll take care of it all at once. For several weeks, I squatted down like a smaller, paler Gollum, and just dropped turds down the shower drain. Dozens of chicken nugget sized little, brown turds. Sometimes I had to jam them down the hole. Eventually, I couldn't.

I stopped popping a squat in the shower when my mother "offhandedly" mentioned that the shower was clogged, but she had unclogged it. I, "curiously", asked what she pulled out. "Was it brown and gross," I asked real nervous-like. She just said "yes." And it never was mentioned again.

I was actually expecting that to be much worse than it was

quote:

gently caress you Mrs. Brown, that's the title here.

I grew up in a place where there was no such thing as mental disabilities, learning disorders, autism, ADHD, OCD or anything else like that. Well, there probably were actual people who had those things, but they simply failed out of the educational system because everyone took massive standardized tests every year that would determine your entire future unless your family was rich enough to pay bribes to boost your score.

This was the kind of place where kids get locked in closets without food or water for six hours until they memorize textbook chapters. The kind of place where kids who fail get whipped bloody with belts by their tiger mothers. The Asia kind of place. Fortunately my parents knew they were going to NOPE! out of there when I was about 12 and return home to the America, so they didn't particularly care about my yearly placement scores as long as I seemed to be learning things. I have mild OCD and started getting a phobia of standardized tests due to proximity stress from my peers.

When we returned to the USA I was placed into middle school at exactly my age level and did well academically in a more open system. The only problem is when I had to take the SAT before applying to colleges. This brought back bad memories. On the day of the exam I was so nervous that I basically had a panic attack and locked up and couldn't finish. The score got 1050 (out of 1600) which even though my grades were good is not a college + scholarship score. My guidance counselor, Mrs. Brown, talked with me and my parents and offered no useful advice or understanding except 'some people are not meant for college and maybe that's you.'

So I took matters into my own hands. When the chance came to retake the SAT I made sure I was weeded up to the gills, well not really since I was going for 'functionally high' instead of 'totes baked'. I was completely relaxed walking in there and completely chill going out. When I got my retake score it was 1580 (perfect 800 on the math section). Mrs. Brown seemed nonplussed by this, but when I told her my 'strategy' she went apeshit. She called the College Board and tried to have my better score revoked. When that didn't work she tried to block the school from releasing my transcripts to colleges simply out of spite, but the principal overruled her.

Anyway I went to college on a good scholarship and graduated and got a good job that got me a long way from my town. I go back to visit about twice a year, see friends, see parents. Almost every time I go I make a point to sneak out at night and visit Mrs. Brown's house and commit some act of vandalism. I've ordered them pizza, spray painted slurs on their garage door, and thrown a rock through their window. The last time, I pried open a basement window, fed a hose through then turned on the outdoor faucet. Hope you like basement flooding you worthless gently caress of a person.

I am looking forward more and more to these visits but I've deliberately refrained from doing this more than once a year to avoid raising suspicions. I'm sure there are generations of kids who also hate Mrs. Brown so it will be hard to anyone to single me out. I'm thinking about how to be even more disruptive next time, I'm considering setting her garage on fire and seeing what happens. Or slashing her car tires, maybe ambushing her one night and giving her a good scare and a few kicks, it can look just like a random purse snatching.

I don't want to kill her, I think they would seriously investigate that, I just want to make her life a more miserable until she dies, and then celebrate. I'm going to try to show up high at her funeral, I think that will really be good for closure.

You need to move on dude

You won. You won the second you got into college. Take the W and don't get yourself arrested.

Also honestly I have no loving clue why you told her you got high to take the SATs. You had no reason to do that. Just keep it to yourself and be smug. She didn't take it well, sure, and she appears to be really bad at her job based on her reaction your first time taking the test, but she probably felt a professional obligation to report you after you confessed to a criminal act.

to quote E/N, closure comes from within

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GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~
College Slice

loquacius posted:

I pooed in the shower as a kid and bless my mom's heart she ignored it

This one is just too sincere for me to believe that it's not true.

Go give your mom a hug. She wiped your rear end as a baby until she was sure you could use a toilet correctly and then cleaned your poo poo out of the shower drain after you mashed it down until no more poo poo would fit in it.

No, to hell with the hug--the woman deserves a medal. Routing a drain in a house with kids always results in a surprise ending, but there are tears in my eyes from laughing so hard, imagining your poor mother muttering "what crazy poo poo has he shoved down the drain this time" only to find out it's really poo poo--actual human poo poo--and for no other reason than "I guess he wanted to poo poo in the shower :shrug:"

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