The Great Autismo! posted:

Chapter 1 : HALLLLLLLLLLO
Chapter 2 : where are you from?
Chapter 3 : do you like Chinese food/responses for compliment on chopsticks
Chapter 4 : learn to say 不敢当 when someone says your Chinese is incredible
Chapter 4.5 : learn to tell the Chinese person their Chinese is also really good for a hearty chortle
Chapter 5 : do you want a Chinese wife?
Chapter 6 : how much money do you make?
Chapter 7 : do you hate the Japanese? Do you know about Nanjing?
Chapter 8 : see chapter 4 at this point for review
Chapter 9 : cheers and drinking culture
Chapter 10 : how to pretend to pay for the check without ever really going for it but making sure you put in enough face to make the person feel like they have gained face
Chapter 11 : what to do when your new friend is puking out the door of the restaurant
Chapter 12 : choosing a KTV girl and how to politely ask for the next batch after the first group is inevitably insufficient
Chapter 13 : "I don't want my handjob just yet"
Chapter 14 : (for the poor) bargaining for the prostitute (only for lower end KTVs)
Chapter 14 : (for the rich) bragging to a taxi driver about getting a blowjob at KTV
Chapter 15 : how to bitch out the 7-11 worker when the fridges aren't plugged in for your nightcap
Chapter 16 : lying to your girlfriend about where you were all night
Chapter 17 : how to tell your boss you're a bit sick and having a rest

nickmeister posted:

Yeah, this is what I'm talking about. None of that bullshit about Chinese culture, Tang Dynasty poets or chengyus lol

Blistex posted:

Forgot the part where you politely try and tell your Chinese boss that you would prefer separate rooms when banging your KTV girls.

The Great Autismo! posted:

I'll write this and post it for 300 bucks

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

brb got run over by ching-chong going way too breezy

Pirate Radar posted:

Tryin' to get a hand breezy!

The Great Autismo! posted:

I'll write this and post it for 300 bucks

Haier posted:

Cat is China, Dog is foreigners doing business in China. http://i.imgur.com/NQn4z1T.gifv

Sten Freak posted:

China is sending troops to its first overseas military base in Djibouti. Honestly it's hard for me to imagine this is their first in the world. US, Japan and France already have bases there.

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-china-djibouti-idUSKBN19X049

canpakes posted:

What about the food in China? There's a Chinese grocery store here where they have strange fruit like spiky things in huge green grapes.

nickmeister posted:

No, not real life situations. Like I said, that would just be, "Where are you from? What do you think of China? Can you use chopsticks?" For forty chapters. Also, no more tea houses and 北京烤鴨.


Link, please?

GoutPatrol posted:

Okay, since I know there is a lot of misinformation about how to get an APRC on the internet (partially because they keep changing what they want) I just want to write a big post about it and what I just did to finish my paperwork. If everything is correct you can get all the paperwork and hand it in just 1 morning/afternoon.

Before starting on this journey, I would suggest visiting the local immigration office inside your town/city and make sure you qualify for an APRC. The easiest way to get one is if you have been living inside the country for five years, and have no breaks in employment during those five years. I had a friend who had been in their 5th year and their work screwed up the dates on the paperwork, giving them a 2 day gap between contracts. Their time started over and had to keep waiting. Just go there and ask to run a check on your Taiwanese ID number and see if there are any gaps. Once you know that you can do it, go get the rest of your paperwork. The immigration office also has a paper, one side English other side Chinese, on what you should require to get an APRC (which ironically has some wrong information on it.)

The biggest changes to the old APRC paperwork required a criminal background check from your country or origin and a separate health check. The new rules are you DO NOT need them if you had never left Taiwan during your employment period for longer than three months. For most people, that shouldn’t be an issue.

The things that you need to get to start the process are:
Copy of current ARC (I had it on one piece of paper with the front and back)
Copy of passport (the page with your photo and information. I also gave them the page with my first landing visa.)
2x passport-sized photos (the application says no older than 3 months but I had older ones and were accepted)
Actual APRC application (from immigration office)
10,000 NT

These are all things you can do yourself. What you need from other people are:
Tax Statement of most recent year. This is a stamped blue paper that has your name, ARC number, and income from the previous year. I went to the local tax office (the same place you do your taxes,) went to the resident alien counter and received it in 5 minutes.
Statement of employment from your current employer. Mine was a stamped paper with my employer’s name on it, including the length of my current contract with them.
Local criminal background check. Received from the police bureau. When I went to the office the police officer standing outside, probably realizing why every foreigner would come here, immediately pointed me in the direction of the background check office. Fill out the application and pay 100 NT for a copy (and 20 NT for each additional copy.) This took around a 30 minute wait.

After I acquired all of these documents, I went back to the immigration office and handed in all my documents. I received a receipt and was told they would call me in 3-4 weeks. I would then come back to the immigration office, turn in my old ARC, and receive a new one. Overall, this was a surprisingly easy thing to do.

GoutPatrol posted:

A. Beaverhausen posted:

Is somethingawful on the banned list? I would hate to lose china goons when the vpn ban takes effect.

big time bisexual posted:

someone really needs to have a rest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfB1rjxtOo4

big time bisexual posted:

someone really needs to have a rest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfB1rjxtOo4

Haier posted:

The Something Awful Forums > Main > GBS: And with an inexplicable lack of hair, things start to fall apart

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

brb got run over by ching-chong going way too breezy

big time bisexual posted:

someone really needs to have a rest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfB1rjxtOo4

The Great Autismo! posted:

don't blame me, I'm doing my absolute best to poo poo up the d&d thread

Blistex posted:

My favourite part is when they tell her, "we bought the AC unit, you break it we're calling the cops", like everything up to that point was totally acceptable.

HerStuddMuffin posted:

Do they ever mention why she's doing all this, and why everyone, woman included, is so calm and collected about it? If I was filming a person going on a slow motion rampage with a cleaver like that, I either wouldn't stay this close to them, to the point of walking right up to them, or I would try to take the cleaver away when they set it down on the bed to tear that cover with both hands.

HerStuddMuffin posted:

Are you talking about the dude with the ax that was posted a while back, attacking women on a bicycle and then the old lady that tried to intervene? He was using the blunt side of the ax, for some reason, but it was still brutal.

HerStuddMuffin posted:

I value my life much more than my property

hakimashou posted:

There's even stuff you probably didnt even know existed like duck chins.

The Great Autismo! posted:

the VPNs will be fine they've said they are cracking down on them for years and nothing ever changes

Grand Fromage posted:

yeah. Actually blocking VPNs would cause a huge shitshow with every business here that does anything outside of China, plus to actually make VPNs not work would cripple the Chinese internet way beyond the level it already is.

Mad Hamish posted:

Haier, you referenced paranormal podcasts and crystals and such, are you a believer in these things and what do the Chinese think of these beliefs?

Mameluke posted:

I believe the forums are already effectively banned as a result of them using CloudFlare.

HerStuddMuffin posted:

If you think she's a danger, steer clear, but if you think she's harmless, why not stop her?

Haier posted:

I have mentioned UFOs and other things to people here, but they are clueless. This kind of stuff (outside of the topic of ghosts) has never really reached the general population in the way it did in the Americas and Europe when they had their decades of sightings and guys saying they were part of some military experiments and stuff.