NBA Offseason G/V: Let Me Hear You Post It

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What is going to be your favorite offseason storyline? This poll is closed.
The Big3 Tourney	67	22.41%
Will Lakers draft Ball	40	13.38%
Where will the Pauls go	54	18.06%
Will LeBron jump ship to the Spurs or ??	41	13.71%
Will every team in the league just pivot towards tanking	97	32.44%
Total:	210 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

TheKevman: Dec 13, 2003; I thought Mad Max: Fury Road was

so you should probably ignore anything else I say

I love all of you who think KD wasn't in on that joke you're all priceless hahaha

# ? Jul 13, 2017 07:33

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# ? May 15, 2024 10:32

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

I don't get the in on the joke thing.

What does fake being mad add to the joke, at least from his perspective.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 07:36

Jack's Flow: Jun 6, 2003; Life, friends, is boring

Eltoasto posted:

So is this how Lonzo fixed his shot?

LaVar sent him to bed without dinner for that.

Zogo posted:

I have verified eleven voters that have participated in all four years. There may've been more but there are a lot that left the name field blank or put in strange names.
code:
Voter			Four year total (118 max):
Jack's Flow		71
Props Department	71
JesusSinfulHands	69
Strawberry Panda	69
chunkles		68
Dejan Bimble		67
Zogo			67
spacebump		66
Lockback		65
PantsFreeZone		63
Rick			63
Jack's Flow and Props Department barely pass with a 60.2% accuracy.

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

Jack's Flow fucked around with this message at 08:03 on Jul 13, 2017

# ? Jul 13, 2017 07:40

nagel: Sep 19, 2005; We formed a wall once.

pubic works project posted:

https://twitter.com/wojespn/status/885153095352811522

Please please SVG, get in on this and get rid of Drummond. Also finalize that trade with New Orleans. I know nothing about the players we would get in return, but blow the whole thing up. the Drummond and Reggie team is dead in the water.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 08:11

EvanTH: Apr 24, 2004; i like to express my inner pain by being really boring on the phone
or just when i'm kickin it
that's me though
i'm kind of oddddddd

TheKevman posted:

I love all of you who think KD wasn't in on that joke you're all priceless hahaha

Yeah in fact he probably wrote it himself too. He said to the writers' table okay we're gonna have Peyton make that joke about how I switch to whatever team is already the best, and then everyone will laugh at me then I'll look sad and distraught and deeply troubles, which I can do at will because I'm an excellent actor, and also I'll not really do or say anything while everyone laughs at me for a while. It'll be great stuff, ideal for my image.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 08:17

EvanTH: Apr 24, 2004; i like to express my inner pain by being really boring on the phone
or just when i'm kickin it
that's me though
i'm kind of oddddddd

nagel posted:

Please please SVG, get in on this and get rid of Drummond. Also finalize that trade with New Orleans. I know nothing about the players we would get in return, but blow the whole thing up. the Drummond and Reggie team is dead in the water.

I hear Drummond had septum surgery and is coming back strong

like he basically couldn't breathe this season

# ? Jul 13, 2017 08:18

nagel: Sep 19, 2005; We formed a wall once.

EvanTH posted:

I hear Drummond had septum surgery and is coming back strong

like he basically couldn't breathe this season

Yeah? I hope you are right. Would being able to breathe improve Drummond's ft%?

# ? Jul 13, 2017 08:36

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

Ever since I learned that Eminem was in on all the jokes that MTV played on him I never trust a pouty face at an awards show.

Eltoasto posted:

So is this how Lonzo fixed his shot?

He's been wearing Kobes the whole time, this is just the loudest pair so far.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 08:38

TheKevman: Dec 13, 2003; I thought Mad Max: Fury Road was

so you should probably ignore anything else I say

CharlestheHammer posted:

I don't get the in on the joke thing.

What does fake being mad add to the joke, at least from his perspective.

Are you serious?

It provides food and entertainment to people like you who think he had no clue.

Tomorrow every ESPN show will talk about it from First Take to PTI to ATH to SC6 to whatever else ESPN badly needs to fill. It's the lowest of low hanging fruit.

It was a funny joke to begin with but watching everyone else think it's real and he had no clue is the funniest part.

Rick posted:

Ever since I learned that Eminem was in on all the jokes that MTV played on him I never trust a pouty face at an awards show.

As always, Rick, you're one step ahead of everyone else :cheers:

TheKevman fucked around with this message at 10:00 on Jul 13, 2017

# ? Jul 13, 2017 09:58

Wandle Cax: Dec 15, 2006

TheKevman posted:

It was a funny joke to begin with but watching everyone else think it's real and he had no clue is the funniest part.

Making yourself look like a humorless doofus while everyone is laughing AT you not WITH you, what a great joke

# ? Jul 13, 2017 10:17

SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

What if I don't think KD is a bitch for some comedy bit because that's obviously what it was and rather because I never stopped thinking he was bitch made in the first place?

# ? Jul 13, 2017 10:17

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

Rick posted:

Ever since I learned that Eminem was in on all the jokes that MTV played on him I never trust a pouty face at an awards show.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 11:41

Charlz Guybon: Nov 16, 2010

TheKevman posted:

Are you serious?

It provides food and entertainment to people like you who think he had no clue.

Tomorrow every ESPN show will talk about it from First Take to PTI to ATH to SC6 to whatever else ESPN badly needs to fill. It's the lowest of low hanging fruit.

It was a funny joke to begin with but watching everyone else think it's real and he had no clue is the funniest part.

As always, Rick, you're one step ahead of everyone else

All that does is hurt his brand though.

I guess unless you believe the old cliche that there's no such thing as bad publicity?

# ? Jul 13, 2017 12:19

houstonguy: Jun 2, 2005; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Charlz Guybon posted:

All that does is hurt his brand though.

I guess unless you believe the old cliche that there's no such thing as bad publicity?

It only hurts his brand if people think it's real. It will make the rounds today as if it were legitimate, then tomorrow or the next day someone employed in another Disney subsidiary will interview Peyton about what a fantastic job he did hosting and he'll confirm that it was rehearsed and maybe even say it was Durant's idea in the first place, depending on how hard he gets raked over the coals today.

So instead of looking totally shook, it'll look like he's so far beyond that stuff that he's cracking jokes about it.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 13:34

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

Sheriff posted:

It only hurts his brand if people think it's real. It will make the rounds today as if it were legitimate, then tomorrow or the next day someone employed in another Disney subsidiary will interview Peyton about what a fantastic job he did hosting and he'll confirm that it was rehearsed and maybe even say it was Durant's idea in the first place, depending on how hard he gets raked over the coals today.

So instead of looking totally shook, it'll look like he's so far beyond that stuff that he's cracking jokes about it.

Nah he a shook bitch

# ? Jul 13, 2017 13:36

AggressivelyStupid: Jan 9, 2012

https://twitter.com/SInow/status/885225288061394944

Is Ben Simmons tiny or has LeBron finally broken me

# ? Jul 13, 2017 13:39

Henchman of Santa: Aug 21, 2010

Charlz Guybon posted:

All that does is hurt his brand though.

I guess unless you believe the old cliche that there's no such thing as bad publicity?

I'm going to assume you have never watched an award show in your life

# ? Jul 13, 2017 14:02

MourningView: Sep 2, 2006; Is this Heaven?

https://twitter.com/shamscharania/status/885420196873109504

Averaged a robust 4 and 3 on 43% shooting as a center in the NBA but THOSE EURO STATS THO

# ? Jul 13, 2017 14:04

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

MourningView posted:

https://twitter.com/shamscharania/status/885420196873109504

Averaged a robust 4 and 3 on 43% shooting as a center in the NBA but THOSE EURO STATS THO

Presumably you'd be bringing him over for his defense (which was good in Europe)

AggressivelyStupid posted:

https://twitter.com/SInow/status/885225288061394944

Is Ben Simmons tiny or has LeBron finally broken me

LeBron is huge, you can't judge mortals by those standards

Eltoasto posted:

So is this how Lonzo fixed his shot?

I wonder how much money they're going to eat on those shoes

What's AliExpress' return policy

# ? Jul 13, 2017 14:14

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

Eltoasto posted:

So is this how Lonzo fixed his shot?

The Ivan Oozes

# ? Jul 13, 2017 14:20

Libertine: Jun 21, 2004; When I die, I hope they say I made the eSports industry a better place than I made millions of dollars.

Is Lonzo really not wearing his own shoe brand? They must be really bad if that's the case.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 14:25

zelah: Dec 1, 2004; Diabetes, you are not invited to my pizza party.

I really hoped that they would actually fall apart during an NBA game, but this is the next best thing.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 14:27

Paul Zuvella: Dec 7, 2011

TheKevman posted:

I love all of you who think KD wasn't in on that joke you're all priceless hahaha

I know it is like your job to be the biggest homer on the planet but..

# ? Jul 13, 2017 14:33

Salvor_Hardin: Sep 13, 2005; I want to go protest.; Nap Ghost

AggressivelyStupid posted:

https://twitter.com/SInow/status/885225288061394944

Is Ben Simmons tiny or has LeBron finally broken me

I want to know what a shirtless 80 year old LeBron is going to look like. I would use a better example for Old Tats like Birdman but let's be honest; he isn't going to live past like 45.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:01

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

AggressivelyStupid posted:

https://twitter.com/SInow/status/885225288061394944

Is Ben Simmons tiny or has LeBron finally broken me

Who is the white guy?

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:02

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

Who is the white guy?

The Designated Small Friend

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:03

Ghost Dog: Aug 17, 2016

thats gordon hayward

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:08

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

So is the new too cool for school :smug:

thing is to claim all event and award show burns are scripted. Are you telling me Drake and Draymond were in on it together

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:11

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

Oh and a "it gets people talking about me even if it's bad things" too. Guess we are back in Intro To Marketing. Need some intro level Nietzsche to tie into this to complete the freshman schedule

WhyteRyce fucked around with this message at 15:16 on Jul 13, 2017

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:13

morestuff: Aug 2, 2008; You can't stop what's coming

I believe Durant has a fragile ego and I also believe ESPN is risk-averse enough that they'd try to avoid insulting one of their biggest moneymakers unless someone gave the thumbs up

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:15

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

morestuff posted:

I believe Durant has a fragile ego and I also believe ESPN is risk-averse enough that they'd try to avoid insulting one of their biggest moneymakers unless someone gave the thumbs up

Counterpoint Peyton Manning is an rear end in a top hat

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:19

BWV: Feb 24, 2005

I believe Kevin Durant is a bitch and ESPN did not ask him because they knew the worst case scenario was Durant just begging them for a job.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:19

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

Actually, I'd find it hilarious that the only time KD was able to act convincingly was when he was pretending to be shook.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:21

Jota: May 6, 2003; uga-booga uga-booga

Metapod posted:

Counterpoint Peyton Manning is an rear end in a top hat

He's a funny man and also he that has not dipped their balls on another's forehead among you, let him cast the first stone.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:23

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

Tea bagging was just a thing in the 90s. It didn't go out of style because it's inappropriate, it went out of style because online video games blew up and this new generation of lazy millennials just virtually tea bag instead of going outside to do it.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:28

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

TheKevman posted:

Are you serious?

It provides food and entertainment to people like you who think he had no clue.

Tomorrow every ESPN show will talk about it from First Take to PTI to ATH to SC6 to whatever else ESPN badly needs to fill. It's the lowest of low hanging fruit.

It was a funny joke to begin with but watching everyone else think it's real and he had no clue is the funniest part.

At first I was laughing at KD, now I'm laughing at you too

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:34

Bush Did Outer Heaven: Jan 18, 2005; The Sweetest Payne

let Durant write a player's tribune piece about it. I'm here for Russell Westbrook's barely contained glee.

and i cant stop laughing at this sentence:

TheKevman posted:

It provides food and entertainment to people like you who think he had no clue.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:37

pubic works project: Jan 28, 2005; No Decepticon in history, and I say this with great surety, has been treated worse or more unfairly.

AggressivelyStupid posted:

https://twitter.com/SInow/status/885225288061394944

Is Ben Simmons tiny or has LeBron finally broken me

I'm the white nerd on the left.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:38

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

I'd love to be a white nerd who hangs out with LBJ and the artist formerly known as enormous baby

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:40

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# ? May 15, 2024 10:32

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

I suppose it's possible KD was playing up the anger for laughs, but if he was whoo boy is he bad at selling it.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 15:42

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