/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Me [25 F] with my Husband [25 M] 3 years, he owns his own business and stays at home while I work. He doesn't bring in any money but also doesn't do any chores. Am I being unreasonable in asking him to do one or the other?

quote:

My husband owns his own business but it's still young and he only makes around 200 dollars a month. I want to be supportive but according to his partner, it will be several years before they begin to see more personal profit.

He stays at home all day and does his business from there. I work a regular job and supply 99% of our money and pay all our bills.

My issue is that I've always believed that that there are two parts to a functional relationship and home. One person works and brings in money and the other supplies domestic stuff like cleaning and cooking. And if both work, then they split it up.

He claims that he works 50-60 hours per week but I don't see it and a lot of that is on one or two days where he has to work all day long.

I guess it just feels like if he isn't bringing in any money, he should be contributing more around the house, especially since his business allows him to be home all day. He almost never cleans or does any chores at all unless I nag at him to do so.

In all fairness, if anyone cooks, he does the cooking. But most of the time we just have canned and microwaved stuff. I've talked to him about this before but he feels like cleaning is useless because there are other more important things he can and should be doing.

Do you think I'm being unreasonable in thinking that just because he stays home, he should take on a more domestic role?

tl;dr Husband owns his own business but doesn't really make money. Barely contributes at all to household chores or cooking. Is it reasonable to be upset?

What's his business, you ask?

quote:

Well, he buys and sells trading cards. So, he's also building an inventory. They have a lot of cash in inventory and it's just a slow start.

He can be making more sooner if they can get into expos and stuff like that.

quote:

He has a partner in the business. They have probably 25,000-35,000$ in inventory. And they make profit every month, it's just that they can only afford to pay themselves the 50 a week.

quote:

Well, it's mTg cards and there are hundreds of thousands of them. So he has to buy collections and catalogue them in spreadsheets and verify condition and list them online.

It can be very time consuming, I just don't know if it's taking up 60 hours of his time every week.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:26

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 16:53

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

quote:

60 hours a week

quote:

200 dollars a month

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:27

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

She should never have tapped that. :v:

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:27

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

he's actually the owner of the #1 MtG card selling website on the net

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:29

Owlbear Camus: Jan 3, 2013; Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?

He should get a nice recognizable domain name. I think "magic the gathering online exchange" is available.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:32

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

I mean, it's nice that his compulsions even make enough money to pay for themselves (take that, model train people) but couldn't he just become a CPA?

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:36

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Couldn't her husband have a small-scale Magic cards eBay business where he spends maybe 20 hours a week after work/on weekends???? It's like not like he has a card shop. He's just running some hyper obsessive website... :psyduck:

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:40

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Pac-Manioc Root posted:

He should get a nice recognizable domain name. I think "magic the gathering online exchange" is available.

That was for the video game version.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:46

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Couldn't her husband have a small-scale Magic cards eBay business where he spends maybe 20 hours a week after work/on weekends???? It's like not like he has a card shop. He's just running some hyper obsessive website...

Yes. The one guy I know who did that ran his website as a side business apart from his regular job as an engineer. He made ok supplemental income and the time commitment wasn't exactly overwhelming- he eventually sold his inventory and inventory system to a well-established card shop when he needed to work overseas for a protracted period. With the #mtgfinance nonsense it's maybe a little more involved now, but not to the extent that it would preclude you from holding down another job.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 00:50

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

cumshitter posted:

I work in private wealth management and I think giving someone a gift where you have to record the cost basis, which can vary by tens of dollars between multiple exchanges at any given time, at the exact time you received it is cool and good and everyone loves the idea of tracking capital gains/losses whenever you spend your money.

The fact that arbitrage hasn't made the price equal, or close to it, on all exchanges should be a pretty huge red flag on the liquidity of bitcoin and the solvency of the exchanges.

That's the way of the past, pops. If you can't handle buying a Lambo one week and being unable to afford bread the next, you're not cut out for the future.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 01:37

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My (25F) best friend (26F) is shoplifting from big businesses, and I really hate it.

quote:

Kelsey (name changed) is my best friend, and has been for half a decade. She's supportive, fun, caring, blah blah blah

Lately (the last three or four months?), Kelsey has been shoplifting. Not from small businesses, but big chains like Walmart or Target. Her defense is pretty much "they're huge, so this doesn't hurt them. Plus big businesses are assholes so they deserve it."

I agree sometimes big businesses are assholes to employees, Walmart has had plenty of lawsuits, etc. But the stealing aspect? I cannot get behind that. It makes me really uncomfortable to hear Kelsey say "yeah, this item? It was free! I took it." It's not like she's stealing a loaf of bread for her newborn baby because she cannot afford to eat. She has a job, makes alright money, and is stealing clothes or make up (so,; items she doesn't need.

Kelsey never does this around me, out of respect. But again, it makes me uncomfortable, I hate that she does this, I'd hate to see her get arrested, it's just all around bad.

What, if anything, do I do?! What can I do? Reddit, help. (I know my options, I just truly mean what do I do?!).

TL;DR: my best friend of half a decade has started stealing from large chain stores, and she sees nothing wrong with it. She says they deserve it. I don't even know what to do.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 01:43

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Newborns can't eat bread.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 02:03

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Not with that attitude they can't.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 02:05

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Haifisch posted:

Not with that attitude they can't.

Would you say they need to conquer it?

# ? Jul 15, 2017 02:13

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

lmao the insane I DONT HAVE A CRUSH boss made gothamist: http://gothamist.com/2017/07/14/bad_reddit_boss.php

oh god please let this guy become the new, more repulsive Romeo Rose

Doc Hawkins posted:

I mean, it's nice that his compulsions even make enough money to pay for themselves (take that, model train people) but couldn't he just become a CPA?

I would bet you that guy's monthly salary that he's only in the black through extremely loose bookkeeping and charitable interpretations of what 'counts' as a business expense

# ? Jul 15, 2017 02:26

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

I don't pity the big business getting stolen from but I also don't pity the person willing to risk permanently loving up their life over some petty crime bullshit.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 03:12

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

Also, saying "my best friend for half a decade" is a really dramatic way of saying "for a few years".

# ? Jul 15, 2017 03:13

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Problems [32M] with my GF [33F] of just under a year who just informed me she's part of an MLM program

quote:

Hi everyone!

So, I'll dive right in. My gf took me to a "meeting" that she said was important to her the other night. Turned out to be an MLM presentation for World Wide Dream Builders which is basically an AMO (amway motivational organization).

Basically, it's amway but they tell you that you have to earn a mentorship from them (by buying things and going to paid events) and then they will teach you to be a debt free cash flow something or other.

I was floored and shocked at what I was at and as you can probably guess, I have a less than stellar opinion of these things. This was the first I was hearing of this. She had gone to some conference a few months back and wouldn't tell me what it was because "I would probably just google it" and "that's not the way I should learn about it".

The people speaking to the 1500+ people at this event the other night are the ones that she is trying to "earn" a mentorship from. She feels as though they are her best friends and some of the greatest people she's ever met and I should feel privileged to have gotten the chance to hear them speak.

I felt dirty, not privileged when I left the event. She told me that "these are the two best people that YOU will ever get the chance to meet in your life and you should feel privileged to even have the chance to hear them speak." I don't want to use the term brain-washed, but I want to.

We talked about it last night and it did not go well. I told her that if she wanted to do this, I would support her but I did not want to be an active part of it. This does not seem to be okay with her and she is "disappointed in me." and she will be dedicating a majority of her time to "building this asset" going forward.

I would really like to make this work but I'm not really sure if that is possible. Any suggestions or similar experiences? We are supposed to talk again tonight when she gets off work.

tl;dr: GF just sprung on me she's part of an MLM. I hate MLMs and think they're slimy. Causing insane problems

Sever now, there is no return from MLM madness.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 03:17

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

When the crazy reveals itself, run.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 03:20

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

another kid pimped out by their parents, there oughta be a support group

My (27F) mom (65F) is trying to set me up with her boss (45M). She claims it's because she's worried how long I've been single (5 years) but I worry about her motivations. Should I just humor her and go?

quote:

Background: I'm super close with my mom, she's been my rock since my dad died when I was 8 and I've been hers. She's never remarried, dated or gotten over my dad for that matter. I know she's lonely and worries about me being lonely. I haven't dated in 5 years aside from awkward encounters set up by friends that went nowhere. I've been busy getting my masters and starting a job to worry about it too much so I'm ok.

Recently my mom started working for a new company which she really likes. Her new boss is a 45 year old widower with no kids. I also have to say that he is one of those older guys who is ridiculously handsome, successful, active, etc... I met him at a work happy hour and as much as I hate to admit it, I was so charmed by him I was embarrased.

I have a hard and fast rule about not dating guys 5 years older than me. My mom knows this but she will not stop talking about how perfect we would be together. I know she has my best interests at heart but I also think she has other motives of wanting kudos at work, being in good with the boss, etc...

My question is this, should I just go out with him one time to placate her? Or just ask her to stay out of my business (the first time I would have done that in my life)?

# ? Jul 15, 2017 03:22

Mameluke: Aug 2, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

Cut off your friendship with Kelsey if you can't handle the heat, but crimes against businesses aren't really crimes IMO. It's not like she's trying to unionize Walmart employees, they don't care.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 03:31

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Me [30 M] with my Dad [70's M] He uses the family business to fund his extensive travel and...mistress [40's F]

quote:

tl;dr: Father leaves me to run a small business, pays me a minimal wage while he uses the company to pay for his extensive travel and mistress/affair

Note: this is long.

Some background:

My Dad started his own business a little over 20 years ago � it started as a one man band, and has grown slowly. It is a small, but profitable manufacturing operation, in a fairly niche market, with quite a bit of room to expand.

I've been working there ever since I was old enough, and began full time as soon as I completed college. (literally. The day of my final exam, I went into work in the afternoon)

I started encountering some issues with my Dad, and some serious clashing of heads pretty much as soon as I started working full time. It took an age for him to get around to moving me onto a salary package, and the first one he presented me with was... disappointing. It was very small, maybe 20% lower than a starting salary for any entry level job. He didn't believe me, thinking it was a competitive wage. It took his accountant to actually convince him of what the minimum I should be getting paid was... and that's what I got. At the time, I kind of just grinned and bared it. It wasn't ideal, and it barely covered cost of living, but I reminded myself that the long-term goal of eventually owning the place would be worth it.

Once I moved into full-time hours, he began to travel extensively. I got about 2 weeks of training in the day-to-day operation of the business (previously I handled all the manufacturing) and off he went. That first year was pretty brutal; I was swimming in the responsibility of maintaining a business for the first time, and Dad was securing new contracts and distributors. I was getting swamped from learning on the fly, while still being the primary manufacturer. Some weeks were 12+ hour days, and a lot of weekends. It eased off a bit when I convinced him to hire some more full time employees. I became more comfortable in the extensive list of responsibilities I had, and it felt like things for me started to stabilise after about the third year. To give you some perspective, in the first 18 months, he was probably around for maybe 6-8 of them. As of right now, he's probably out of country or interstate for a minimum of 30-40% of the year.

After that first 3 year stint, I started to feel quite a bit of financial pressure. I felt undervalued, was essentially making just enough to pay rent and utilities, and wasn't saving a dime. Throughout this period, I received no increase to my salary. I had to fight him for over 6 months to recognise that at the very least, salary adjustments for inflation need to be made. Once again, it took the accountant to confirm that yes, inflationary adjustments are a thing.

This was about the time that I first caught wind of his -shudder- mistress. He had been spending a lot of time visiting one of our suppliers overseas. This was the primary destination of most of his travel. I didn't really think much of it, as they were being right bastards. I was under the impression that we were gearing up to drop them, in favour of someone else that we had already secured, but this process dragged on for what was eventually years. Every time he was in-country and I would come into his office, I could hear him talking to someone on Skype, and he would bang his laptop lid down, with a startled look on his face every.single.time. On one of these days, I needed a file off his computer while he was out. He told me where to find it over the phone, so I stomped upstairs and opened it up. He'd forgotten to close skype, or even minimise it for that matter. What I was presented with was a chat history that was very... incriminating. I was furious; this was family destroying stuff, considering he is still married to my Mother. I confronted him about it and absolutely exploded. I don't think he's ever truly seen me so angry before. Without going into too much detail, he managed to convince me that it was just a close friend, and that nothing sexual was going on. The explicit stuff that I was saw was just 'joking around'. I think in a desperate attempt to not see the family torn apart, I accepted his explanation, along with a mention that anything sexual is literally impossible for him now, due to some health issues/old age. So, like a chump, I ate his poo poo and buried it in the back of my mind.

A couple more years passed, and life happened. I got engaged, then married. He continued to travel extensively, always winding up in the same place. My hackles started getting up as the issue with one of our suppliers just dragged on and on... I simply couldn't understand why he was continuing to even entertain doing business with them. He started making some weird decisions, like setting up an overseas office and renting a small property for 'storage'. 'Storage' so that we could ship immediately from a supplier we were going to drop. A supplier that we continued to purchase from, despite them jacking up prices that nearly pushed it past the point of profitability. It turns out the property he has been renting for the past two years is just an apartment... one that I have a fairly educated guess is for his mistress. He also kept talking about getting a visa for a few people to come over and 'train'. I ended up finding a visa rejection letter for who I'm certain is the mistress.

Anyway, about a year ago, I once again started feeling some pretty extreme financial pressure. I'd found my own place with my wife, and we were barely covering rent+utils, with 3 jobs between us. I requested a salary increase, which would be my first ever raise. Dad wasn't having a bar of it; after all, when he's in the country, i'm just a grunt, right? All I really do is basic manufacturing. What worth is there in increasing my salary? Besides, he hasn't yet seen me step up to the plate, to his satisfaction, not to mention that asking for a comparable salary that I showed him evidence of (industry standard for basic workers in manufacturing) may not be financially viable. It's really about what the business can afford, and high (hah) salaries just aren't affordable. I bit my tongue hard at that remark, considering his 12+ international trips per year, plus half as many interstate... He assured me he'd look into it though, and a few months later I received a very modest pay bump.

To the present, and my predicament-

It is now extremely obvious that he is travelling overseas exclusively to visit this mistress. He doesn't even give excuses as to why he's going overseas any more, just says i'm going to X country for Y weeks. We don't even do business with the supplier of the country he was/is going to any more. So here I sit, managing a business that pays me pennies to fund my Dad's extravagances. I have very little capacity to save, and as it stands, it will take me over 6 years to save for a house deposit, in a housing market that is increasing in value at a rate of over 15% per quarter. Having children is an impossibility, as even a month out of work for my wife will see us in debt. Of the small number of employees we have, every one of them works a second job. No-one except the boss-man is earning a comfortable living. The difference between my salary and our general office worker is about $100 per week. She's been working here for 2 years; I've been here since I was 16.

What has brought this to a head is a little digging into my very limited access to the business' finances. It's the one aspect he has absolute control over, and I have a feeling it's to mask his own excesses. He is now taking the mistress on international and local holidays regularly. All on the company's dime. His continuing this relationship is handicapping the financial security of the employees of this business, and he has made poor decisions over a number of years in an effort to maintain the charade that every trip is in the best interests of the business. We haven't had any new customers in 2 years... that was supposed to be a big part of his travel; in fact, I recently learned that he had a conversation with our office worker, and he's stopped loving looking for new business, because we're now 'making enough money' and we're in 'a comfortable place'. To be clear on this point � he is right. I don't have much access to the finances, but I know without going into too much detail, but we make a very good amount of money for the size of the business.

How in the holy hell am I supposed to navigate this? I've sunk my career building years into this business, and the inevitable confrontation that will result after I bring this clusterfuck to light with him, could spark him to just up and sell the business from under us. Over the past couple of years, he's off-handedly mentioned how tempting it would be to take an offer on the sale price this business would attract. I'd be left with my rear end in the breeze, with very few transferable skills, and a degree that has been collecting dust in a field that would be extremely difficult to break into. As it stands, I have no stake in the business, there's no way to realistically force him out, and his total lack of interest in teaching me the few critical aspects of running the place that are left means that if he just vanishes or says gently caress it, and dumps it in my lap, means there's a high risk of seeing the place collapse if i'm not on top of my game.

And always in the back of my mind, which I have barely acknowledged, is the fallout that will occur with my family and my poor loving mother. I can barely even process this side of it.

Even if I don't confront him, I don't really know how he is going to repair our relationship. My resentment is building... my fury is absolute.

The only consolation I can take is that without this ridiculous situation, I would have never met my wife. Truthfully, if I had my time again, I'd still put myself through this loving gauntlet. She is the shimmer at the end of this dark void, the lit candle that prevents me from cursing the darkness...

As always, any advice will be appreciated

On one hand, :allbuttons:

On the other hand, how loving stupid do you have to be to stick it out that long at a company like that, even for family?

# ? Jul 15, 2017 03:32

ishikabibble: Jan 21, 2012

It sounds less like it was for family and more he wanted to eventually inherit the business but slowly came to find out how much of a terrible human being his father actually is.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 04:00

Barudak: May 7, 2007

If your parent doesn't compensate you for the business they force you to run and treat like a piggy bank filled with gently caress-dollars, you aren't actually going to inherit it.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 05:01

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Haifisch posted:

Me [30 M] with my Dad [70's M] He uses the family business to fund his extensive travel and...mistress [40's F]

On one hand,

On the other hand, how loving stupid do you have to be to stick it out that long at a company like that, even for family?

He updated once

quote:

Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4dqzoc/me_30_m_with_my_dad_70s_m_he_uses_the_family/

Tl;dr of original: Work for Dad in a family business, uncovered an affair that he was financing with company funds, while i managed the business working for peanuts.

Well reddit, this is a not-so happy update. A few days after i put up the OP, i brought all the evidence i had to my mother. She was mortified, and we spent the next week while he was overseas collecting evidence. Turns out he wasn't as smart as I thought he was, and was barely covering his tracks. Over a 3 year period he spent probably $100k on various trips and 'salary' for his mistress, including joint travel to various countries, flying business class.

Mom took the evidence and brought it to a lawyer, putting all the pieces into place for a possible divorce. I was told explicitly not to interfere, as she wished to preserve the relationship i had with my father. From phonecalls over the course of several days, I found out that she was trying to make it work and salvage the marriage. I learned fairly quickly that despite the boatload of evidence, he had managed to convince here that it was merely a 'friend'. She promised me that she was still suspicious of everything he had to say, but told me to keep out of it and was working through it.

A week later i recieved a substantial salary increase, for the first time in my life pushing me into middle income. I was still pissed off and incredibly angry, and kept my head down. A couple months passed where I was monitoring what was happening, continuing to collect evidence. Assurances that the 'friendship' was dead did nothing for my state of mind, as I could clearly see the opposite as he was still interacting with her on a daily basis. When this was brought to mom again, nothing happened and I realised i was on my own.

The anger got the better of me, and I sunk into a pretty bad lethargy. I was procrastinating at work, not being all that productive. I should've been more proactive in my planning, but it was loving with my head so bad that i just felt like i was falling into a pit, with no way out.
Fast forward to two weeks ago. I uncovered evidence that he was making moves, or had already succeeded in getting the mistress to my country. HERE. That snapped me out of my funk pretty hard.

Well, in either a move of blinding stupidity or rage, I confronted him. It quickly turned into a shitfight, with most of it being me standing there listening to him rage. He basically told me that I was insane, was over thinking things and making connections in my head that weren't really there. I interrupted a few times to refute this, and it then turned into him screaming in my face that his personal life was none of my business.

I told him that when his personal life affects OUR business, then I absolutely have the right to say something. I expressed my belief that his personal life was leading to and has led to poor decisions for this business, and that he didn't really care about its development as long as the money was rolling in for him to do whatever the hell he wants.

He called me ungrateful, and that all the things he's done for me gives me no right to speak to him like this; that the reality of the business was far removed from what i believed it to be, and that i'm basically a clueless kid that makes assumptions because i've never been in a real job and don't understand how business works.

I won't go into details, but the argument devolved pretty rapidly from there. Turned into him going on at length about my personal failings and criticisms of me being a lovely husband to my wife because of hobbies i chose to pursure, how he should command respect being my dad and that i have no right to even speak to him with a raised voice.

I mostly kept my cool, but i won't lie. I went off a few times refuting some of the more ridiculous things that he said, making sure that he understood that some of the poo poo he said was completely unacceptable. I don't think there's anything i said in the moment that i regret. I was strangely calm after the fact. I was expecting a mountain of stress/anger to crush me.

As it stands, I have no idea if I have a job on Monday. The last thing he said to me before storming out was that i better 'loving apologise' for the things that I said to him.

So yeah. I think my world just exploded.

P.S. Probably the best one-liner i heard from him was an anecdote where he believed 'the most successful people in business get to a point where they don't have to do anything.'
I laughed at that.

So, reddit, Wat do?

tl;dr: Confronted dad. World probably exploded. Unsure what to do now.

Turns out shithead dad doubled down on being a shithead! Who woulda thought?

# ? Jul 15, 2017 05:10

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

I know this thread is pro dog punching, how does it feel about pigeon slapping?

My boyfriend [24M] slapped a pigeon in Venice.

quote:

My boyfriend and I [20F] have been dating for 2.5 years. We are in Italy for a 2 week long trip. Today we are in Venice. We were in one of the plazas and my bf wanted to feed a pigeon.

We bought birdseed and he put it in his hand. He stretched out his palm and a couple of pigeons went up to him and started eating the seed. They finished eating and backed away, ready to go, but my BF slapped the closest one and it stumbled backwards before flying away.

A couple of tourists near us glared at him. I was like why tf did you do that? He shrugged and was like its no big deal, its just a pigeon.

He has no history of animal abuse except for going on hunting trips with his family. He has a dog and a cat and never mistreats them. I have never seen him do anything like this before. Is it a red flag.

TL;DR: boyfriend slapped a pigeon in Venice for no reason, he said it was no big deal

# ? Jul 15, 2017 05:16

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

La Brea Carpet posted:

I know this thread is pro dog punching, how does it feel about pigeon slapping?

My boyfriend [24M] slapped a pigeon in Venice.

Random unprovoked animal cruelty certainly isn't one of the signs of being a serial killer, right?

What's that, it is?

:redflag:

# ? Jul 15, 2017 05:17

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

WampaLord posted:

He updated once

Turns out shithead dad doubled down on being a shithead! Who woulda thought?

No no no, you find another job, then call Dad out.

Also lmao at mom trying to 'make it work'. Hopefully she's just banking on shitdad dying before he spends all of the money.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 05:19

Barudak: May 7, 2007

WampaLord posted:

He updated once

Turns out shithead dad doubled down on being a shithead! Who woulda thought?

To be fair to the dad, anybody who confronts someone that way with no recourse and just a dream they'll be a good person is an idiot who needs to learn more about the world.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 05:24

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

Haifisch posted:

Hopefully she's just banking on shitdad dying before he spends all of the money.

search your heart, you know the truth

# ? Jul 15, 2017 05:26

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

La Brea Carpet posted:

I know this thread is pro dog punching, how does it feel about pigeon slapping?

My boyfriend [24M] slapped a pigeon in Venice.

birds aren't durable, he could have easily killed that pidgeon. anyone who would casually murder an animal that was showing an incredible amount of trust in them is a piece of human garbage. :sever:

# ? Jul 15, 2017 05:41

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

La Brea Carpet posted:

I know this thread is pro dog punching, how does it feel about pigeon slapping?

My boyfriend [24M] slapped a pigeon in Venice.

...He has no history of animal abuse except for going on hunting trips with his family. He has a dog and a cat and never mistreats them. I have never seen him do anything like this before. Is it a red flag...

Did you know finishing off a deer often involves slitting it's throat while it's still conscious?

"Aside from watching Bambi's death rattles then dismembering the corpse" doesn't exactly help his case.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 05:50

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

maskenfreiheit posted:

Did you know finishing off a deer often involves slitting it's throat while it's still conscious?

"Aside from watching Bambi's death rattles then dismembering the corpse" doesn't exactly help his case.

I feel like you do all sorts of unconventional things when hunting with the Dahmer family

# ? Jul 15, 2017 05:56

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

I feel like you do all sorts of unconventional things when hunting with the Dahmer family

Why did you think they call it a hunting knife?

# ? Jul 15, 2017 06:19

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

lmao the insane I DONT HAVE A CRUSH boss made gothamist: http://gothamist.com/2017/07/14/bad_reddit_boss.php

Cripes. I finally went and read one of those threads. I think I know why they keep getting shut down.

quote:

[�]nonprofitpolice 50 points 9 hours ago
Hi OP! I also work in the non-profit world and I am 95% sure I know exactly what black tie fundraising gala you are referring to, which should make it pretty easy for me to track down exactly who you are based on the information you've kindly provided.
You clearly think you've done nothing wrong, but I want you to really think about how it would affect you if this post was to make its way onto the desk of your HR department or direct superiors. If that frightens you in any way, think about that, and think about if you are truly the victim here.
(throwaway because my real account gives away too much about my identity and I don't want you to have that information because you are clearly a loving PSYCHOPATH).

# ? Jul 15, 2017 06:35

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

precision posted:

I knew a couple (well, a bunch, but one in particular stands out) that did the "master/slave" thing 24/7. He was a nerdy guy who was probably huge into Reddit or whatever (this was 2003), was super in building computers and was kind of an annoying rear end in a top hat about atheism and various other topics. The woman was a very attractive, very bubbly and funny woman and everyone went into shock/denial when they got together because it seemed to make no sense, they had nothing in common aside from some music and both hanging out in the same "scene" we all did... when they were out she wore handcuffs and had to ask his permission to take a drink or have a cigarette. It was beyond awkward and everyone just stopped talking to them though some of us hung on longer to try and make sense/get help/anything.

You just don't take that poo poo out of the bedroom. A healthy relationship that involves that level of submission, to stay healthy, that has got to stay strictly in the fantasy/bedroom world and not the real world. My wife and I have a very sub/dom sexual relationship - not actual BDSM, but there is definitely a level of fantasy to it that I would never want to be how we treat each other when we're just like seeing a drat movie or having a beer at a show or whatever. People who want that are not well.

It makes perfect sense; there's lots of women of exactly this type. They were neglected and so they want to be perfect and make no mistakes and think that gold is at the end of that DD/lg rainbow. They think if they're perfect enough they'll meet some impossible standard that is above reproach. They like being a "slave" because you can't make "mistakes" as a slave. You're always asking. Like, an equitable relationship is always going to be a little fraught from time to time when serious issues come up. But if you ask whether you're allowed to drink a glass of water, you're really, like... divesting yourself of the opportunity to do wrong? Because you're asking whether every single gesture is okay. It's absurd, and to anyone sane, horrifically annoying. Can you imagine living with someone who would ask every time they wanted to break in the Sunny D? A normal person would find that god damned annoying as gently caress.

But these people have to, like, come to terms with the idea that life is going to have conflict and sometimes you're going to be the bad guy. There's no way to get around that. Have a cheeseburger and tell your boyfriend his new mustache makes him look like a kappa's merkin. Spending your entire life being "perfect" because you defer every. single. time. just is... crazy. And it's not going to make your parents love you retroactively. They're like, oh, but I'm like a cat!! You always know someone loves their cat!! If they didn't love it they'd throw it in the garbage disposal!! Love for a cat is real!!!!!

And it's like, yeah, because dogs and cats don't DO anything. So you have to love them, there's no incentive if you don't. But if you had a dog that did the dishes and ironed your shirts, like, you might just put up with a dog you didn't love that much. They mistake lovability and usefulness. It's demented!!!!!

# ? Jul 15, 2017 06:40

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Straight White Shark posted:

I do think goons tend to be a bit too harsh on her considering she was probably more hopelessly naive rather than actively planning on being unfaithful, but even then there's still no denying that Pete's response was a 100% pro move.

I agree, I've gone on trips with male friends which it turns out those friends planned as less platonic than I did.

# ? Jul 15, 2017 06:44