kazil posted:

Being ~*introverted*~ is fun and quirky!

AlbieQuirky posted:

Tip income is imputed to people who work in ordinarily tipped positions, so if you're a waiter and you only report your $2.13 an hour (US minimum wage for tipped employees), you could be audited and fined.

It is all complete loving bullshit.

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Yes, because tips are expected to cover a certain percentage of their wage, which the employer then doesn't have to provide. It's a god-damned huge mess in the states and should be overhauled at the federal level.

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

I like how the author makes sure to point out that their friend is specifically uncomfortable talking to feeeemales and """dudebros""". Just so you know their friend is a lovely human being. They're one step away from hitting a new PB because they were scared of spooky gang bangers and """thugs""" following them. OP your friend is bad and you are probably bad by association.

quote:

Weeding Out The Bad Neighbors
HOME, NEIGHBORS, USA

(It is during summer and I am about nine years old. A few months prior, the city had decided to fix some nonexistent cracks in the sidewalks and make the residents pay about $500 each for it. Obviously, people complained, but the city informed them that the sidewalks were city property and that the residents had no right to decide whether the repairs were necessary. The residents tried to fight the cost being forced on them, but they lost. One of my neighbors is a bit of a grump who likes to turn tiny problems into huge issues. He also has a large garden, which he tends to obsessively. When I’m walking past his house on the way to a friend’s place, I see a tiny flower (clearly a weed) growing between the cracks of the sidewalk. I pick it and tuck it behind my ear before continuing on my way. My friend isn’t home, though, so I go back to my house. I find my mom and the grumpy neighbor arguing on the front porch.)

Neighbor: *pointing at me* “There! There it is! See? In her hair! That’s the flower she stole!”

Mom: “That little thing? The way you were going on, I thought you meant an expensive flower, like an orchid or something.”

Neighbor: “It doesn’t matter! She’s a dirty thief!”

Me: *thinking I’m about to get in a lot of trouble* “But it was just a weed! It was growing between the sidewalk cracks.”

Neighbor: “I don’t care where it was growing! You stole it from me.”

Mom: “What exactly is it that you want me to do? She can’t put the flower back.”

Neighbor: “I know she can’t put the flower back. Do you think I’m stupid? She destroyed it, and I want her punished! If you refuse to address this matter, I’ll have to involve the police.”

Mom: *pulling me behind her* “Go right ahead.”

Neighbor: *shocked* “What?”

Mom: *trying not to smirk* “As you well know after those repairs, the sidewalks are the property of the city, not you. The city has no laws forbidding children from picking flowers. Now, if that will be all, I think it’s time for you to leave.”

Neighbor: *sputtering* “But… but… she stole from me!”

Mom: “No, she clearly didn’t. But you’re on private property, and I’ve already asked to leave once. If you stay here, you’ll be trespassing, and I’ll have to involve the police.”

Neighbor: *leaves, looking like he just swallowed a lemon*

Me: *staring in shock at my mom, who’s normally very soft-spoken and non-confrontational*

Mom: “Never give in to people like that, honey. If you do, they’ll walk all over you forever.”

Captain Monkey posted:

Thats a phrase meaning someone made a 'sour' face you numbskulls.

quote:

I took Paige out to dinner. We had a mundane conversation up until she finished her dinner completely. There was nothing left on her plate and she said proudly, "I'm in the clean plate club!" like she was a five-year-old.

"Good for you," I said.

She then pulled a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and unfolded it. It was a certificate that had her name and said, "Clean Plate Club." There was a signature line on the certificate that said "Witness" beneath it. She handed it to me with a pen and said that she had one for every day of her life.

I signed off on her certificate and she took it back with a big smile. She said, "You should think about joining. There are great membership perks."

"Like what?"

"Like being full. And the annual meetings with other platers. The lifelong bonds we develop are extraordinary. This year's convention is in Vegas."

"Uh-huh."

"Clean Plate Club!"

"Great."

That was our only date.

goose willis posted:

ibntumart posted:

ibntumart posted:

Nyarai posted:

Nyarai posted:

maswastaken posted:

It's a shoplifter (but it's totally OK it's just RP or something) writing about someone else shoplifting. I think.

ishikabibble posted:

I know shoplifting fandom is 'a thing' on tumblr, but I desperately hope you're joking and the RP comment is an excuse they use and they don't actually RP out being fourteen and nicking twelve dollar makeup from a lovely mall department store

gschmidl posted:

I actually do not understand any of this whatsoever.

sweeperbravo posted:

That was a mechanical bull ride of a story

Bertrand Hustle posted:

It's probably a bit of both. People who actually shoplift and write about it on Tumblr claim it's just RP in the same way that people post about "someone who isn't me" or "a friend" doing something illegal or embarrassing. Probably plenty of fake stories from sheltered teenagers who want to seem cool and edgy, too.

quote:

This Is Not The Checkout You Are Looking For
RETAIL | OH, USA | WORKING | JULY 13, 2017

(I am shopping at a major retail store that sells everything from groceries to tires. Normally I use self-checkout, but I know this will be expensive so I decide to go to a register instead. I am male and the cashier is female.)

Cashier: “Hello, how are you today?”

Me: *while unloading a number of ‘Star Wars’ themed pictures on the belt* “Fine, thanks.”

Cashier: *now looking over what I am buying* “You must be single, right?”

Me: “What? Oh, uh, yeah.”

Cashier: “I knew it. No one with a girlfriend would be allowed to buy these.” *looking over each piece before scanning it* “I certainly wouldn’t let you decorate our house with this.”

(I’m 24 and the cashier most likely in her late 40s.)

Me: *now slightly uncomfortable that I am being judged by a cashier for my love of ‘Star Wars’* “Uh huh.”

(The cashier at this point is now verbally judging each piece saying things like “oh, this isn’t too bad,” or “that is much too scary to hang.”)

Cashier: “Okay, your total is [amount].”

Me: “Thanks.”

(I pay and start gathering up my bags.)

Cashier: *just as I am about to walk away* “Make sure you hide those before you invite any girls over.”

(I roll my eyes as I promise to myself that I will use the self-checkout next time.)

quote:

Close, But No Cigar
COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY | ST. LOUIS, MO, USA | WORKING | JULY 16, 2017

(I attend a very prestigious school — not Ivy League, though it outranked two of them — and walk over to the pharmacy kitty-corner from my dorm to buy some cigars. I am 19 then, and a Texas native. Under-21 licenses in Texas, which list “Under 21 until [DATE],” are rotated 90° compared with the 21+ licenses, to make age verification for alcohol purchases easier.)

Me: “Just a pack of [Cigars].”

Cashier: “Can I see your ID?”

Me: “Sure.” *hands it over*

Cashier: *raises an eyebrow* “This is out-of-state.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m from Texas.”

Cashier: *sighs, pulls out a book from beneath the counter with examples of IDs from each state*

Cashier: “Your ID is oriented the wrong way.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, they do that until age 21.”

Cashier: “I dunno; the book doesn’t mention that.”

Me: “The book probably only shows examples of 21+, for alcohol purchases. You can see mine says ‘Under 21 until [My 21st Birthday].’ But I’m just buying tobacco; I’m over 18.”

Cashier: “I’m gonna have to get my manager; I think this is a fake.”

Me: “Listen, ma’am. I attend [University], and I’ve been on the Dean’s List every semester. I’m a National Merit Scholar. I got a 2320 on my SATs, and graduated from my high school with a 91/100 GPA. It’s safe to say I’m a fairly smart guy. Do you honestly think I would be here, not only showing you a fake ID, but one that explicitly states that I’m not even 21?”

(I got the cigars.)

quote:

Evolving To Avoid Tipping
EMPLOYEES, HARRISBURG, PENNSYLVANIA, RELIGION, RESTAURANT, USA | WORKING | JUNE 26, 2017

(When visiting a friend we go to a local restaurant. While we’re waiting for our order, I’m telling him about my aquarium and a certain fish I have.)

Me: “So the betta is actually able to breathe air directly. They evolved to survive in a rapidly changing environment. Repeated floodings and stuff.”

(A wild waitress appears with our order.)

Waitress: *glares at me*

Me: “Thank you.”

Waitress: “Hmpf!”

(We’re both rather confused, considering she’d been nice enough when she took our order. When we want to pay up, I decide to pay since my friend had invited me the last time.)

Waitress: *still glares at me*

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Waitress: “You’re very rude!”

Me: “Excuse me? How am I being rude?”

Waitress: “You’re trying to impose your beliefs on me!”

Me: “I what?!”

Waitress: “I don’t believe in evolution! And you’re yelling about it all the time!”

Me: “Are you serious? First of all, I wasn’t yelling. And second, I wasn’t even talking to you!”

Waitress: “Well, you should consider that there are people who don’t believe in that stuff, so you shouldn’t talk about it!”

Me: “I don’t even… Are you serious? Look, just let me pay up and we’ll leave.”

Waitress: “Fine!”

(She gives me the bill. I cross out the tip part and pay.)

Waitress: “What? You didn’t write down any tip!”

Me: “I find it very rude that you’re trying to impose your beliefs on me!”

Waitress: “What? What beliefs?”

Me: “I don’t believe in tipping.”

(She was furious but shut up. We left.)

quote:

Me: “I don’t believe in tipping.”

quote:

Me: “Listen, ma’am. I attend [University], and I’ve been on the Dean’s List every semester. I’m a National Merit Scholar. I got a 2320 on my SATs, and graduated from my high school with a 91/100 GPA. It’s safe to say I’m a fairly smart guy. Do you honestly think I would be here, not only showing you a fake ID, but one that explicitly states that I’m not even 21?”

Fathis Munk posted:

What stinging wit, and not at all the best way of looking like a huge rear end in a top hat, no siree.

Zelder posted:

91/100 gpa?

Zelder posted:

91/100 gpa?

Zipperelli. posted:

I once ran into a 7-11, bought a 6 pack of beer, paid, went to my car, then realized I forgot cigarettes. I ran back in, asked for the cigs, and the (same) cashier asked for my id. I was like "uh, dude. You JUST checked it for me to buy alcohol, so I'm over 21, so why do you need to see it again to buy something that's age restricted to 18?"

He kind of gave me a blank look for a minute and still asked for my id. Moral of the story: there are some people who just follow the rules really closely.

omnibobb posted:

Yeah, if he didn't check he probably would have got fired. Instead of trusting people to make their own decisions, it's easier to just have it be a blanket policy.

Garrand posted:

Oh no, I have to pull out my ID which I probably have on me because it's the same license that allowed me to drive to the store in the first place and contained in the same wallet where I keep my cash that I have to pull out in order to pay with anyway. Oh woe is me.


I will never understand the bitching about being carded. It's a negligible inconvenience.

Haifisch posted:

Cigars

Comptroll The Forums posted:

Is that even a thing? Cashiers keeping a book of all 50 state IDs so they can check out-of-staters?