- Waltzing Along
- Jun 14, 2008
-
There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
|
I liked how Arya was considering killing them all but didn't because wine dude reminded her of hot pie.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 18:53
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2024 14:39
|
|
- COMRADES
- Apr 3, 2017
-
by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
|
"Slow moving nothing happened."
lol Dany got to Westeros and Arya killed all the Freys which resulted in a Lannister + Greyjoy alliance what do you mean nothing happened.
the scene shoehorned in for tweens lol.
The scene is supposed to show a human side to Arya as well as illustrate to her and the viewer both that "the Lannisters" are not a monolithic entity and their soldiers are just like the Stark soldiers at the end of the day. It was a good scene.
Actually given the mediocre last season or so this was a pretty decent episode.
COMRADES fucked around with this message at 19:03 on Jul 17, 2017
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:01
|
|
- Neurotic Roleplay
- May 20, 2005
-
|
who likes game of thrones? I do
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:03
|
|
- treiz01
- Jan 2, 2008
-
There is little that makes me happier than taking drugs. Perhaps administering them, designing and carrying out experiments that bend the plane of what we consider reality.
|
https://imgur.com/a/hFMaA
This is a pretty great send up "review" of episode one
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:08
|
|
- Waltzing Along
- Jun 14, 2008
-
There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
|
Next week:
Dany and co. meet up with queen of thorns.
They plan and invite Jon.
The north says don't go jon.
Jon gets a message from Sam saying go get the dragon glass.
Then a boat battle where euron kills the sand snakes and blows up the greyjoy fleet. Yara gets captured.
Theon runs away.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:08
|
|
- COMRADES
- Apr 3, 2017
-
by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
|
I hope that's exactly what happens.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:11
|
|
- Waltzing Along
- Jun 14, 2008
-
There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
|
I hope Arya kills Sansa.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:12
|
|
- GolfHole
- Feb 26, 2004
-
|
i filed my nails like tobias beecher now im gonna claw u, mrrrow
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:13
|
|
- COMRADES
- Apr 3, 2017
-
by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
|
Same I actually hope Arya kills everyone in some epic Greek tragedy style finale.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:14
|
|
- Waltzing Along
- Jun 14, 2008
-
There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
|
when bad pussy dies next week, i hope she whips her boobs out one more time and shouts "these are for you, bronn!"
Also, where was bronn?
Why episode 1 sucked:
Tyrion said nothing
Varys said nothing
No Bronn
the perfect show would be Tyrion and Bronn going on adventures with Varys as their point of contact.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:16
|
|
- Toadvine
- Mar 16, 2009
-
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.
|
Next week:
Dany and co. meet up with queen of thorns.
They plan and invite Jon.
The north says don't go jon.
Jon gets a message from Sam saying go get the dragon glass.
Then a boat battle where euron kills the sand snakes and blows up the greyjoy fleet. Yara gets captured.
Theon runs away.
At some point,
a dragon dies and becomes ice dragon
That would make a good thread title
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:16
|
|
- treiz01
- Jan 2, 2008
-
There is little that makes me happier than taking drugs. Perhaps administering them, designing and carrying out experiments that bend the plane of what we consider reality.
|
that is excellent. hope he makes one for every episode.
If you go to her tumblr there are links to every episode of every season so far!!!
http://chrysreviews.com/index.php/game-of-thrones/#_=_
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:19
|
|
- bloom
- Feb 25, 2017
-
by sebmojo
|
the perfect show would be Tyrion and Bronn going on adventures with Varys as their point of contact.
Throw in The Hound and call it Varys's Angels. I'll watch every episode.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:31
|
|
- Hell Yeah
- Dec 25, 2012
-
|
Episode 1
So first scene opens with the Tullys having another dinner. Celebrating the Red Wedding. Walder Frey is alive, hehe no its Arya obviously. She essentially cheers on the entire Frey family and gets them to drink poison during her speech to them that eventually becomes more obvious that shes not who she appears to be. Gives epic rear end loving speech while they all die about leaving a wolf alive was a big mistake and now the sheep are being slaughtered. She leaves the women alive because they dont have any part in it.
Second scene is Cersei over a man painting a giant map of Westeros and Jamie comes in they have a talk about enemies from the north south east and west. Then the Greyjoys show up with a fleet and where Euron offers his navy if Cersei marries him. She refuses but he says something about giving her an invaluable gift upon his return and she wont be able to refuse him.
Quick scene where Bran and whats her face cant remember her name finally show up to the wall, Nights Watch let them in.
Next is a dinner scene with Jon at Winterfell with all the houses of the North where the begin their strategy of fighting the White Walkers. Sansa undermines his authority in front of the houses because she thinks the houses that betrayed Ned should be replaced by loyal familiies where Jon doesnt think children of said traitors should be punished for their mistakes. He gets the two kids of the two houses the pledge allegiance and everyone cheers on Jon for being a cool dude.
Second follow up is Sansa and Jon having a bit of back and forth about what she just did but she makes good points about him and saying dont be stupid like Ned. Ned was noble and so was Robb but it got them killed so be smarter.
They get a raven with a message from Cersei saying bend the knee or die. Sansas like ohhhh no you dont know her jon she crazy, Jons like bitch please we united the north and winter is here with a thousand miles of snow and they are a southern army. They cant do poo poo.
Baelish tries to woo Sansa quick but shes like I know your moves bud buzz off.
Also hilarious scene between that wildling dude and whats her name (gently caress I should probably rewatch the last season this week names are escaping me). She is training with Tyrions old trainee guy dude and she throws him in a pile of snow and the Wildling guys like with the funniest/creepiest face says "You are a very lucky man" Its funny as hell and will be talk of the episode I gurantee it.
Final notable scene is Danaerys and crew rolling up to Dragonstone where the clean the place up and end up at the giant map that Stannis banged the Red Witch on and she says "Sha'll we begin?" To Tyrion and cue credits and epic music.
Episode 2
The Episode opens at Dragonstone, big storm brewing lots of rain. Cuts to the Stannis' old war room. We see Dany, Tyrion, Varys, Olenna, Theon, Elleria, Grey Worm, Missandei and Yara. They are discussing the best strategy in winning Kings Landing and the seven kingdoms. Olenna, Elleria and Yara insist on hitting Kings Landing with full force taking it in a day at most. Tyrion and Varys believe it better to win the loyalty of the Lords since Cersei has so many enemies anyways and they dont want her to be known as "The Queen of Ashes". Dany eventually favors Tyrions approach after a convincing speech which recommends the greyjoy fleet goes back to Dorne with the the Sands and to hit Kings Landing with the fleet once an army supplied by Olennas men to take Casterly Rock. The idea here is to not just pillage with massive hordes of unsullied and dothraki because the populace at whole will not welcome Dany as their new ruler so at first they must win the old fashioned way and not allow Dothraki to pillage and rape because it will make her look like another crazy Targaryan.
Dany turns her attention to Varys though, presses him about where his loyalties lie. She brings up about how him and his allies before traded her off to the Dothraki like a pawn. He goes on about how Robert wasn't a good king because he mostly didnt care and didnt want it. He wants a ruler who cares for the people who live in it and not for power and glory. Thats where is true loyalties lie and she can have him executed by Grey Worm or devoured by her Dragons but he wont pledge full loyalty because his loyalty is the streets (Varys gangsta as gently caress apparently).
Everyone leaves except for Olenna who gives Dany an "old womans advice". Says Tyrion is a clever man but she has outlasted all the clever men because she doesnt listen to them. Calls most people sheep but says Dany isnt a sheep but a dragon. "So be a Dragon."
Dany is then told (I think Missendai, cant remember tbh) that Melisandre has arrived. They all go and meet her. Her and Dany speak in Dothraki mostly about the Red Priests in the east when Dany was loving poo poo up. Melisandre tells her about the White Walkers although doesnt mention them specifically just says a big evil is coming. Melisandre eludes to the fact Dany could be the Prince that was Promised. Dany noting she is not a prince but a queen, Messendai mentions that in the original language the term is genderless and can mean either other. Melisandre says Prophecies are dangerous things. She also insists that Dany meet Jon Snow and have him tell her the things he has been through and seen. Tyrion stunned with the news that Jon is now king of the north and insists Dany meets with him as well and vouches for his character, saying he would make a great ally. Dany agrees tells Tyrion to send a raven to winterfell and tell Jon to come to Dragonstone and "Bend the knee."
We cut to a scene with Greyworm and Missandei who gets upset because Greyworm is going to war. This is all lovey dovey scene and where the nudity is. Nothing much to reveal here aside from them confessing their feelings, her seeing his ahem...lack of parts, and then he eats her out. Moving on.
Next scene is Winterfell, young men and boys training shooting arrows at targets. Sansa reads the letter sent by Tyrion and says its most likeyl a trap to Jon. Jon says read the last quote. "Dwarfs are bastards in the eyes of their fathers." Because of this Jon knows Tyrion is legit but still decides not safe to leave Winterfell.
Cersei at Kings Landing brings the loyal lords to the iron throne room and tells them of Dany's army and Dothraki and Unsullied and says they need to pledge allegience to her or lose there wives and childrens to rape and pillaging. They seem to agree but hesitantly. Sams father is the main guy here and he notes how people who don't agree or side with her end up deaded.
As they leave Jaime follows Sams dad and asks him if hed be his top general in the war to come. He eventually agrees. Jaime offers him a high position or a throne or something in exchange for his military expertise, cant remember the specifics on that.
We cut to Oldtown back with Sam. He is in Jorah's cell with his Master Maester as they analyze his condition. Sams Maester says hes too far gone, has about 10 years to live but about 6 months before he goes batshit. Out of respect of his knighthood he is allowed one more night to stay but then he will be sent to that old Targaryan city where all the greystone crazies chill. Next scene is Sam and Measter at the library and Sam tries to convince Maester of attempting to cure Mormont, citing an old Maester who managed to cure two people before. Maester says yeah that guy died of greyscale and the procedure is extremely dangerous hence why its banned.
At Winterfell Jon gets yet ANOTHER Raven, this is the one from Sam saying Dragonstone is confirmed a mine for Dragonglass. Now Jon is more or less like I got to go now otherwise we gonna die. So Jon has another meeting with all the Northern Houses and gives them the update. The Northerners clearly arent very happy with this news, even Lyanna disagrees and Sansa as per usual butts in saying its stupid.
Jon says its gonna be okay and its a risk worth taking and he is going to leave Sansa in control of Winterfell until his return. This throws her off and cuts to a shot of Littlefinger with that "Ouuuuu im gonna plot and scheme now kus im shifty" face.
This then cuts to the scene that was leaked earlier where Jon is in the basement chamber thing looking at the statue of his father. Littlefinger comes down and does his thing. Says he liked Ned and it was too bad what happened to him. Jon says he isnt suppose to be down here, Littlefinger claims ignorance apologizes and says he just wanted to chat since the two of them havent had that oppurtunity yet. Jon dismisses this wants no business in it. Littlefinger suggest a "Thank you" should be in order for saving him at the Battle of The Bastards. At this point Jons back is to Littlefinger. Littlefinger starts reminiscing about his love for Kat, and although he was bitter with Ned and her getting married he understood. But now he also loves Sansa like he loved Kat. He barely finishes that sentence until Jon grabs him by the throat and throws him against the wall. Tells him if he touches Sansa he will kill him. End of story end of scene.
The order of scenes here might be wrong because they are pretty quick and happen all over.
If I remember correctly the next scene is Sam sneaking into Mormonts cell at night and is there to attempt to cure Mormonts Greyscale. This is the best scene of the episode for sure. Really graphic and tense since Jorah has to be completely quiet while Sam literally cuts chunks of his skin off with a scapel. Lots of white puss and graphic imagery. Sam takes a scapel/needle thing and right when he is about to plunge it into Mormonts chest we cut to an image of a fork piercing a pie filled with a white paste of some sort, meant to look like the puss that came from mormonts wounds and this guy just full on scoops a mouthful. Yummy.
Theres a scene with Arya at the Inn. She sees that Pie guy or whatever. He offers her pie. She takes a bite mentions how good it is. He goes on about how to brown the crusts before cooking the whole thing or somehting like that and thats why its so good but no one cooks em like that because it takes too long. Arya says she didnt do that when she cooked them. He's confused but its an obvious nod to when she cooked the Freys and fed them to Walder. She is informed of Jon becoming the king of the north and decides to change her mind and head north. On her way there shes camping for the day in the woods and she notices her horse getting very nervous and upset. Next thing she knows shes surrounded by a pack of wolves. Then dun dun dunnn her Direwolf (if anyone can remember her name would appreciate) shows up, and she is...MASSIVE. Deffinitely the biggest direwolf hands down. Makes Ghost look like a little bitch. They have a moment and Arya tries to convince it to come with her to Winterfell, assuming it understands. The direwolf recognizes her but theres this kind of moment like we both are not the same people we use to be. Her direwolf leaves with the pack and Arya says something along the lines of "Thats not you anymore."
The final scene is the big boat battle between the greyjoys. Pretty epic pretty good. Two sandsnakes are killed by Euron, one strangled and hung from the front of the boat, the other has two swords shoved into her and shes propped up. Elleria gets captured along with I think is Tyene Sand. Eurons fleet wins and Theon is put in a fight or flight situation. Euron has Yara by the throat, eggs Theon to come save her. He pussies out and dives into the water. Leaving her behind. Sad.
Last scene is Tyrion floating in the water looking on at the fleet in flames as Eurons ship sails away in the distance.
drat this season is going to be tha bomb!!!
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:34
|
|
- kejting
- Jul 17, 2017
-
|
drat I love those chrys reviews I didn't know there was so many
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 19:40
|
|
- Avirosb
- Nov 21, 2016
-
Everyone makes pisstakes
|
Game of Thrones
Come for the plot, stay for the...plot.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:05
|
|
- Dapper_Swindler
- Feb 14, 2012
-
Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.
|
Next week:
Dany and co. meet up with queen of thorns.
They plan and invite Jon.
The north says don't go jon.
Jon gets a message from Sam saying go get the dragon glass.
Then a boat battle where euron kills the sand snakes and blows up the greyjoy fleet. Yara gets captured.
Theon runs away.
i like that jon doesnt take any of littlefingers poo poo which is nice change of pace. also annoyed with everyone bending over backwards to praise dany of down syndrom. gently caress she is awful in the show.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:06
|
|
- COMRADES
- Apr 3, 2017
-
by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
|
You'd probably bend the knee if she had dragons swirling around your head too though.
Idk how anyone is going to deal with that lol. Bran can warg them I guess. Theoretically so can Jon but I don't think he has developed his ability to nearly the level required. Arya could maybe also but all she can do for now is see through another animal's eyes (is that in the show?).
e: Tyrells will probably align with Dany, Dorne definitely will, not sure what's going on with the Stormlands but I think whoever is in charge there will probably get behind her as well. So she's got the entire South pretty much without having to do anything.
The Greyjoy fleet will burn like so much tissue paper unless they have a ton of ballistas hidden under the decks and the Lannisters can't possibly have that much manpower left to field significant armies although it's a TV show so that bit probably is irrelevant.
ee: Too bad there's no Golden Company.
COMRADES fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Jul 17, 2017
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:12
|
|
- el B
- Jan 30, 2004
-
holler.
|
Neither Jon or Arya have been given a hint of warg powers in the show.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:19
|
|
- COMRADES
- Apr 3, 2017
-
by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
|
Ah I was misremembering then.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:22
|
|
- Dapper_Swindler
- Feb 14, 2012
-
Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.
|
You'd probably bend the knee if she had dragons swirling around your head too though.
Idk how anyone is going to deal with that lol. Bran can warg them I guess. Theoretically so can Jon but I don't think he has developed his ability to nearly the level required. Arya could maybe also but all she can do for now is see through another animal's eyes (is that in the show?).
e: Tyrells will probably align with Dany, Dorne definitely will, not sure what's going on with the Stormlands but I think whoever is in charge there will probably get behind her as well. So she's got the entire South pretty much without having to do anything.
The Greyjoy fleet will burn like so much tissue paper unless they have a ton of ballistas hidden under the decks and the Lannisters can't possibly have that much manpower left to field significant armies although it's a TV show so that bit probably is irrelevant.
ee: Too bad there's no Golden Company.
yeah the lannisters are hosed. they have no manpower, no one likes them and they have no real allies plus they are in a fuckton of debt with the iron bank and cersie is nuts at this point. and yeah dany has pretty much all of the allies now outside the north.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:22
|
|
- whoflungpoop
- Sep 9, 2004
-
With you and the constellations
|
haha those reviews are great http://chrysreviews.com/index.php/game-of-thrones/#_=_
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:32
|
|
- Dang It Bhabhi!
- May 27, 2004
-
ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP
|
"Slow moving nothing happened."
lol Dany got to Westeros and Arya killed all the Freys which resulted in a Lannister + Greyjoy alliance what do you mean nothing happened.
The scene is supposed to show a human side to Arya as well as illustrate to her and the viewer both that "the Lannisters" are not a monolithic entity and their soldiers are just like the Stark soldiers at the end of the day. It was a good scene.
Actually given the mediocre last season or so this was a pretty decent episode.
lol jesus dude. way to go to bat for it.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:35
|
|
- Toadvine
- Mar 16, 2009
-
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.
|
yeah the lannisters are hosed. they have no manpower, no one likes them and they have no real allies plus they are in a fuckton of debt with the iron bank and cersie is nuts at this point. and yeah dany has pretty much all of the allies now outside the north.
This was also true at the end of last season when she blew up a church full of her enemies
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:35
|
|
- COMRADES
- Apr 3, 2017
-
by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
|
lol jesus dude. way to go to bat for it.
It's a slow day.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:41
|
|
- Toadvine
- Mar 16, 2009
-
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.
|
"We are allied with the breadbasket of westeros going into a long winter but I'm kind of annoyed with them so I will blow them up."
-master plotter Cersei Lannister.
Cersei did nothing wrong
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:43
|
|
- proof of concept
- Mar 6, 2005
-
by FactsAreUseless
|
I hope a giant steps on some more people
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:55
|
|
- COMRADES
- Apr 3, 2017
-
by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
|
"We are allied with the breadbasket of westeros going into a long winter but I'm kind of annoyed with them so I will blow them up."
-master plotter Cersei Lannister.
She's gonna be queen or nothing.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:56
|
|
- Toadvine
- Mar 16, 2009
-
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.
|
High sparrow didn't blow up the projects
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:58
|
|
- bloom
- Feb 25, 2017
-
by sebmojo
|
If the rest of the season is just zombie giants murdering people it'll the best season of this show any show ever.
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 20:59
|
|
- COMRADES
- Apr 3, 2017
-
by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
|
High sparrow didn't blow up the projects
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 21:00
|
|
- whoflungpoop
- Sep 9, 2004
-
With you and the constellations
|
High sparrow didn't blow up the projects
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 21:58
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
#
?
Jun 6, 2024 14:39
|
|
- Owlbear Camus
- Jan 3, 2013
-
Maybe this guy that flies is just sort of passing through, you know?
|
a sensible chuckle from the r/relationships thread:
Me [25 M] with my GF [28 F]: Girlfriend is using my cancer for personal gain and I'm furious
quote:
Reddit, my girlfriend is exploiting my cancer for personal gain and I'm so angry but have no idea what to do.
A little while ago I was diagnosed with Stage 1 cancer which is terrifying, but I was given a rosy outcome by the doctor. Most of it was removed via surgery, but I am doing a round of chemo just to be safe and reduce the chance of it coming back. Even though the outcome was as good as it could possibly be, this whole thing has completely shaken me. It really flipped me on my head to realize that I could die at any moment, and it seems to have created a shift in my entire thinking. As a result, I'm in a really bad place right now, so I don't know if my rage that this post is regarding is consistent with my normal behavior.
My girlfriend has been super supportive through this whole thing, which is why it's so shocking that she would even CONSIDER doing something like this. For some background, my girlfriend is kind of an enormous Game of Thrones fans. She has read all of the Game of Thrones books multiple times and went to events and stuff, and she is constantly on forums on reddit and other sites talking about it. This doesn't bother me at all — I have my own obsessions. I have, in the past, asked her if she wanted me to watch the series or read the books and she said I didn't have to. Which is good, because I've never really been into fantasy.
Anyways.
A couple of hours ago I reach for her laptop to print something out and I open Microsoft Word and see that she is currently drafting a letter to George Martin (the writer of Game of Thrones). It starts off as a normal cutesy fan mail but then in the second paragraph it goes on to state that her boyfriend is his biggest fan and has been given 6-8 months to live by his doctor, and that it would "make his life complete" (actual words) to be able to read the next book before I die. She essentially asks if theres any chance he can finish it in time so that her boyfriend can enjoy it before his passing. And she uses my actual name in there. I AM loving LIVID. I don't get how she could use me in this way, or even joke about my death. She could have easily just put her own name in there instead. I guess she didn't think I would mind because she made no effort to hide it or anything, but I just can't loving believe she would be so oblivious to something like this. I deleted the letter in a rage and now I'm actually up and pacing around trying to think what to do. She gets home in 4 hours. Reddit, is this grounds for breaking up? What do I do?
tl;dr: Girlfriend exaggerated my cancer diagnosis for her own personal gain, and now I'm so angry and hurt I can't see straight
jokes on her gurm will die before he gets to read the next book too
|
#
?
Jul 17, 2017 22:13
|
|