NBA Offseason G/V: Let Me Hear You Post It

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What is going to be your favorite offseason storyline? This poll is closed.
The Big3 Tourney	67	22.41%
Will Lakers draft Ball	40	13.38%
Where will the Pauls go	54	18.06%
Will LeBron jump ship to the Spurs or ??	41	13.71%
Will every team in the league just pivot towards tanking	97	32.44%
Total:	210 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

verbal enema: May 23, 2009; onlymarfans.com

Stephen a Smith can't figure out attachments

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:16

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 16, 2024 12:00

Craig K: Nov 10, 2016; puck

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

I dont get it

https://twitter.com/stephenasmith/status/603384079044759552?lang=en

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:22

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

efb

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:23

Black Sabas: Apr 29, 2015

Hashtag Banterzone posted:

good on pdx for finding a way to reuse the fabric from bus seats

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:29

CRISPYBABY: Dec 15, 2007; by Reene

Maybe with the trading card market dead we can get rid of the ones that have swatches of jerseys en em and recycle them into bus seats instead.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:32

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

R.D. Mangles posted:

Next level posting

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:37

Boredumb: Mar 10, 2005

R.D. Mangles posted:

amazingly pro post

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:45

AggressivelyStupid: Jan 9, 2012

I'm down 4 lebron in Philly

Trust the process friends

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:46

Spacebump: Dec 24, 2003; Dallas Mavericks: Generations

Ty Lawson update.
https://twitter.com/TyLawson3/status/887451439508766722

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:48

R.D. Mangles: Jan 10, 2004

Spacebump posted:

Ty Lawson update.
https://twitter.com/TyLawson3/status/887451439508766722

same

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:49

Ammanas: Jul 17, 2005; Voltes V: "Laser swooooooooord!"

I did but I signed a deal with AliExpress to import men's accessories under my brand

TIE LAWSON AND FRIENDS

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:51

yo5ty: Jun 12, 2007

verbal enema posted:

Stephen a Smith can't figure out attachments

or capitalization

# ? Jul 19, 2017 05:57

leftist heap: Feb 28, 2013; Fun Shoe

Black Sabas posted:

good on pdx for finding a way to reuse the fabric from bus seats

it's carpet. or is the joke that the carpet looks like bus seats?

# ? Jul 19, 2017 06:09

kingcobweb: Apr 16, 2005

Spacebump posted:

Ty Lawson update.
https://twitter.com/TyLawson3/status/887451439508766722

He should sign with Utah so it's more difficult to get alcohol

# ? Jul 19, 2017 06:13

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Spacebump posted:

Ty Lawson update.
https://twitter.com/TyLawson3/status/887451439508766722

https://twitter.com/Mamba_14/status/887453926802444288

# ? Jul 19, 2017 06:30

Ramadu: Aug 25, 2004; 2015 NFL MVP

R.D. Mangles posted:

omg

# ? Jul 19, 2017 07:44

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

Doltos posted:

I always forget that there's other regional psychopaths out there than Bob and his discount furniture chain

I wish I could find it but back when Conan was doing the late late show on NBC he mentioned he comes on at like 3AM in Houston and showed a couple of the commercials that are shown at that hour. One was Mattress Mack, who dresses in a mattress costume and shouts about saving you money. The other was from Hilton Furniture, whose owner would appear in commercials with a chainsaw and go to town on the furniture with it

I wish I could find the clip

# ? Jul 19, 2017 07:59

Redgrendel2001: Sep 1, 2006; you literally think a person saying their NBA team of choice being better than the fucking 76ers is a 'schtick'

a literal thing you think.

NickRoweFillea posted:

Clippers gonna be real ~~good~~ annoying on defense

In Europe Teodosic is a legendary rear end in a top hat on the court whose favorite weapon is the dick punch.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 08:10

Strawberry Panda: Nov 4, 2007; Breakfast Defecting, Slow Dick Touching, Root Beer Barreling SwagVP

Intruder posted:

I wish I could find it but back when Conan was doing the late late show on NBC he mentioned he comes on at like 3AM in Houston and showed a couple of the commercials that are shown at that hour. One was Mattress Mack, who dresses in a mattress costume and shouts about saving you money. The other was from Hilton Furniture, whose owner would appear in commercials with a chainsaw and go to town on the furniture with it

I wish I could find the clip

This poo poo?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNUDTwT8fvE

# ? Jul 19, 2017 08:18

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_g62-wfhdNw

Also watch the Thunderbolt commercial that comes on after the Hilton Furniture one, that's a loving Houston classic

# ? Jul 19, 2017 08:25

Strawberry Panda: Nov 4, 2007; Breakfast Defecting, Slow Dick Touching, Root Beer Barreling SwagVP

Intruder posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_g62-wfhdNw

Also watch the Thunderbolt commercial that comes on after the Hilton Furniture one, that's a loving Houston classic

Furniture salespeople are weird:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgYs9kkqvPc

# ? Jul 19, 2017 09:17

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

Strawberry Panda posted:

Furniture salespeople are weird:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgYs9kkqvPc

# ? Jul 19, 2017 09:30

ElPedro: Apr 22, 2008

Sooo if mattress guy buys the Rockets, maybe they should sign DRose and have him wear that mattress when on the court

# ? Jul 19, 2017 09:39

ChickenMedium: Sep 2, 2001; Forum Veteran And Professor Emeritus of Condiment Studies

Redgrendel2001 posted:

In Europe Teodosic is a legendary rear end in a top hat on the court whose favorite weapon is the dick punch.

I guess CP3 wasn't as hard to replace as people thought.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 10:26

Vernacular: Nov 29, 2004

Derrick Rose is gonna be a Laker isn't he

# ? Jul 19, 2017 13:22

Dejan Bimble: Mar 24, 2008; we're all black friends; Plaster Town Cop

EvanTH posted:

Every region of this great nation seems to have their own powerful discount mattress/furniture khan, master of cheap commercials, commander of some huge warehouse store. Do you think they feud over the borders of their territories? I wonder what the margin is on that garbage?

800-588, 2300, vampires

The private equity companies that bought furniture factories make a fortuna

# ? Jul 19, 2017 14:02

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Mattress Mack is an ultra conservative nutjob, so for the first time ever an NBA owner would be a bad person.

Also no ads on OKC unis this year.
https://twitter.com/ErikHorneOK/status/887432411348434945

# ? Jul 19, 2017 14:17

nachos: Jun 27, 2004; Wario Chalmers! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

pubic works project posted:

https://twitter.com/ChrisBHaynes/status/887379895180853248

Nooooooooooo Willie!!! I wanted you on the Pacers!

Man how did willie only get a 1 year 1.5m contract? That's a bargain.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 14:18

Durandal1707: Oct 11, 2013

Zogo posted:

Stephon Marbury calls 2004 Olympics �The worst 38 days of my life�
https://sports.yahoo.com/stephon-marbury-calls-2004-olympics-005822522.html

"Marbury says that on the first day of Olympics practice, Brown asked his players�a group that included LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Tim Duncan and Allen Iverson � to state their goals for the tournament.

�By the time he got to me, everything was said that needed to be said,�� Marbury says. �So I said, �Let�s also not forget that we need to have fun.� And Larry goes, �Huh. Listen to this guy, talking about having fun!��

Marbury was stung and embarrassed by Brown�s condescension. He calls the Olympic experience, �The worst 38 days of my life.""

I kind of fell out of watching the NBA for a while during the 2000s, was Larry Brown always a total prick or something?

# ? Jul 19, 2017 14:43

Jota: May 6, 2003; uga-booga uga-booga

Durandal1707 posted:

I kind of fell out of watching the NBA for a while during the 2000s, was Larry Brown always a total prick or something?

He is one of those people in life that is most happy when they are miserable and bitching about people around them. He's left a good amount of the teams he's coached by quitting like a baby or having a solid part of the team despise him.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 14:48

Spacebump: Dec 24, 2003; Dallas Mavericks: Generations

Jota posted:

He is one of those people in life that is most happy when they are miserable and bitching about people around them. He's left a good amount of the teams he's coached by quitting like a baby or having a solid part of the team despise him.

Isn't that how he left all his teams from this century? (including SMU)

# ? Jul 19, 2017 14:54

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

Cool Buff Man posted:

This is blowing my mind
https://twitter.com/JaredWeissNBA/status/887160534499569664

Man it's been so long since I've seen a basketball game with 10 white guys

Spacebump posted:

Ty Lawson update.
https://twitter.com/TyLawson3/status/887451439508766722

There's still time buddy, don't worry, Guangdong will welcome you with open arms

Craig K posted:

https://twitter.com/stephenasmith/status/603384079044759552?lang=en

I feel bad for Stephen A. because as far as I can tell Cheez Doodlez are no longer commercially available

# ? Jul 19, 2017 15:00

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

R.D. Mangles posted:

Powerful

# ? Jul 19, 2017 15:02

Tae: Oct 24, 2010; Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!

nachos posted:

Man how did willie only get a 1 year 1.5m contract? That's a bargain.

Centers are a luxury

# ? Jul 19, 2017 15:13

Time: Aug 1, 2011; It Was All A Dream

Jota posted:

He is one of those people in life that is most happy when they are miserable and bitching about people around them. He's left a good amount of the teams he's coached by quitting like a baby or having a solid part of the team despise him.

he is maybe the most miserable coach of the last few decades and thats impressive considering quin snyder has probably been to rehab in that timeframe

# ? Jul 19, 2017 15:18

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

Scott Skiles is way more miserable of a coach than Larry Brown imo.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 15:27

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

https://twitter.com/sportingnews/status/887436952051625985

Calling Darko Manna from Heaven is slightly less defensible, as KCP has a better WS record through his first 4 seasons, though on many more minutes played.

# ? Jul 19, 2017 15:46