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http://www.clickhole.com/article/going-undercover-jeff-sessions-has-disguised-himse-6287#1, Attorney General Jeff Sessions is a polarizing figure, but no matter where you stand politically, you’ve got to admit that he’s the kind of public servant who’s committed to pursuing his ideological goals. In a stunning act of courage, Sessions has gone deep undercover by disguising himself as a member of a drug cartel and donning a surveillance wire in order to read the Wikipedia entry for marijuana. Wow. It looks like Jeff Sessions is willing to put it all on the line for the causes he believes in! According to reports from the Department of Justice detailing Sessions’ covert operation, the attorney general prepared to read the Wikipedia entry for marijuana by dressing himself in clothing common among members of a Mexican drug-running syndicate and putting on a false mustache in order to take on the appearance of a member of a drug cartel. Sessions also strapped a hidden recording device to his chest in order to gain potentially valuable intelligence during his stint undercover reading Wikipedia’s basic overview of cannabis. Completely transformed from his typical buttoned-up persona, Sessions then sat down at the desktop computer in his home and typed the words “marijuana (drug)” into Wikipedia. As Sessions scrolled through the article, which provided a general overview of the chemical and biological facts regarding marijuana as well as its effects as a recreational drug, the attorney general repeatedly announced to nobody in particular that his name was “Edgardo Perez,” a veteran drug smuggler from the Mexican city of Nuevo Laredo who was excited to learn more about marijuana from Wikipedia. Despite the intensity of the situation, Sessions was able to maintain his cover as Edgardo and keep his composure as he read about how a bong worked in the “Consumption” section of the Wikipedia article. The undercover attorney general also calmly nodded and said in fluent Spanish, “Of course, that’s something I knew already,” numerous times as he read Wikipedia’s description of ancient cannabis cultivation during the Bronze Age, just like an experienced cartel member would. Wow. No matter your political leanings, you’ve got to admit that Sessions was incredibly brave to undertake this mission. The attorney general nearly got through the entire Wikipedia article while successfully maintaining his identity as a cartel member. However, when he read that marijuana can be consumed in the form of a concentrated resin called hashish, Sessions panicked and began yelling, “Pull me out! Pull me out!” into his surveillance wire. Members of the Justice Department immediately rushed into Sessions’ computer room and pulled the attorney general to safety. Absolutely incredible! There are very few politicians who would be willing to go as far as Jeff Sessions to put a stop to cannabis use. Here’s hoping the time he spent undercover reading the Wikipedia article for marijuana pays off!
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Jul 19, 2017 10:54
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rear end cobra posted:Summer of infrastructure and
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Jul 19, 2017 11:00
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i dont know anything about the despacito meme and you cabt make me
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Jul 19, 2017 11:09
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Reality Winner posted:i dont know anything about the despacito meme and you cabt make me i can't make you but i can say that it's evidently the hit song of the summer (and being the type of weird shutin who posts on a politics subforum of a website that's almost old enough to drink in the middle of the night, i've never heard it)
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Jul 19, 2017 11:11
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what sort of person listens to the radio, and what sort of goon goes to place where popular music is played
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Jul 19, 2017 11:15
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Samurai Sanders posted:Sorry its from like ten conversations ago but Would
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Jul 19, 2017 11:19
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Jul 19, 2017 11:27
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El Disco posted:Would
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Jul 19, 2017 11:28
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Where's the tweet
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Jul 19, 2017 11:40
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All his energy emanates from hands, which is why clapping gives him such great power.
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Jul 19, 2017 11:40
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Robert Plant posted:I don't wanna close my eyes I just read this and lost my poo poo
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Jul 19, 2017 11:41
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https://twitter.com/TheManKaspar/status/886950012302786561
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Jul 19, 2017 11:43
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I bet that person was pisssed when jimmy deans started packaging their sausage in 14oz tubes
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Jul 19, 2017 11:46
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TRUMP
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Jul 19, 2017 11:47
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is
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Jul 19, 2017 11:47
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a
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Jul 19, 2017 11:47
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DOOFUS!
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Jul 19, 2017 11:48
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Piss tape
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Jul 19, 2017 11:48
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sucka
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Jul 19, 2017 11:48
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PISS
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Jul 19, 2017 11:49
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holy poo poo, pissss
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Jul 19, 2017 11:50
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Pee pee on my bed
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Jul 19, 2017 11:51
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Tight Booty Shorts posted:Pee pee on my bed poo poo on your head
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Jul 19, 2017 11:52
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I get pissed on And I get pissed again You're never gonna stop the piss I get pissed on And I get pissed again You're never gonna stop the piss (pissing the night away) (pissing the night away) Ya drink a vodka drink (piss) Ya drink a vodka drink (piss) Ya drink a vodka drink (piss) Ya drink a vodka drink (piss) Oh, donny boy... Donny boy... Donny boy... Yossarian-22 has issued a correction as of 11:56 on Jul 19, 2017 |
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Jul 19, 2017 11:54
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Almost done with Devils Bargain. It's a pretty good portrait or Bannon, he's a tremendous rear end in a top hat, but also a pretty interesting guy. It's also kind of funny to read about every single Trump fuckup again, remember my own glee and the Trump Thread reaction, and then realize that he still became the motherfucking president.
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Jul 19, 2017 11:54
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rear end cobra posted:and then realize that he still became the motherfucking president. Fake news
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Jul 19, 2017 11:56
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rear end cobra posted:Almost done with Devils Bargain. It's a pretty good portrait or Bannon, he's a tremendous rear end in a top hat, but also a pretty interesting guy. It's also kind of funny to read about every single Trump fuckup again, remember my own glee and the Trump Thread reaction, and then realize that he still became the motherfucking president. agreed, i'm about 1/3 through and so far it's done a great job of covering both the greatest hits (mexican rapists, mccain) and the deep cuts (the breitbart party with nigel farage and milo milling about with newt gingrich after cpac)
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Jul 19, 2017 12:04
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rear end cobra posted:Almost done with Devils Bargain. It's a pretty good portrait or Bannon, he's a tremendous rear end in a top hat, but also a pretty interesting guy. It's also kind of funny to read about every single Trump fuckup again, remember my own glee and the Trump Thread reaction, and then realize that he still became the motherfucking president. I think that's why I can't read any 2016 related stuff until/if Donny is gone. It's too stressful reading about it while he's still predisent.
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Jul 19, 2017 12:05
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more like Sprayed in America week wee wee spritz
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Jul 19, 2017 12:06
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donald trump is president for life
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Jul 19, 2017 12:06
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deadgoon posted:donald trump is president for life kinda cheating if it's because you die in your first term
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Jul 19, 2017 12:07
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Tesseraction posted:kinda cheating if it's because you die in your first term no its actually ur life
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Jul 19, 2017 12:08
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safely sodomized posted:he’s the kind of public servant who’s committed to pursuing his ideological goals. this is a pretty stellar description of why a representative democracy sucks
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Jul 19, 2017 12:09
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donald trump is president many of u thought hillary clinton was going to be president well, the jokes on u donald trump is president
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Jul 19, 2017 12:13
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Junkyard Poodle posted:I bet that person was pisssed when jimmy deans started packaging their sausage in 14oz tubes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4RNb3tt0LM
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Jul 19, 2017 12:13
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Trump
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Jul 19, 2017 12:13
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deadgoon posted:no its actually ur life jokes on u i don't have one haaa haahahahahaha
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Jul 19, 2017 12:17
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boy i sur ehope trump gives us a new thread title today to get that poo poo out finally
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Jul 19, 2017 12:17
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Putin went down to New York, He was looking for a race to steal He was in a bind, 'cause he was way behind, He was willing to make a deal When he came across this fat bitch Whining on twitter named donald trump And the Devil jumped up thinking what a chump and said, "Boy let me tell you what: I guess you didn´t know it, but I'm a piss drinker too, And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bed for you Now you hate obama sincerely, Boy, but give the Devil his due I'll let you piss in his bed til your face is red 'Cause I can make a pres out of you" The bitch said, "My name's Donny and it might be a sin, But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret, 'Cause I'm the best there's ever been" Donny, hire up your hoes and jerk your pecker hard, 'Cause hell's broke loose in Moscow and Putin deals the cards And if you win you'll get this smelly mattress pissed to gold, But if you lose, then Putin gets your soul!
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Jul 19, 2017 12:18
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Mr Hootington posted:Trump hey there's children in here, buddy
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Jul 19, 2017 12:19
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